Unpacking

May 2026

The box emptying continues, along with whittling down our joint possessions to something more manageable. My email is full to the brim with admin relating to both a change of address and transferring the bills to my name. It doesn't feel possible that I moved in only a week ago.

I have finally found a 'normal' badminton club, in Epping. When I was growing up here it is peculiar that we didn't travel in that direction - music school and most of my friends and the synagogue were south east, into London by tube was south west, and we might go up the M11 to Harlow or Cambridge, or maybe to High Beech where we picked blackberries and climbed trees. But Epping, Ongar, Abridge and the rest of Essex might as well have been on the moon, even though they are just as easy to get to as Ilford, Romford, Stratford and Walthamstow. I am learning fast about the geography of Essex and find it to be nicer than our adjacent London boroughs. But that is because I can drive. Public transport will take me much more efficiently into London than to the villages and towns of Essex.

In between unpacking and doing the admin I continue to frequent the local cinemas, mainly the Odeon in South Woodford for standard fare and the Forest Cinema in Walthamstow for more esoteric choices. This week I went to the Forest for the film about the chef Anthony Bourdain, then the Odeon for straight up dinosaur excitement. Mum has been preoccupied with gardeners - now that she can't look after the garden personally she has entrusted it to a variety of different folk, who for various reasons have not been satisfactory. She interviewed another one this week. I am keeping my head down on this one.

My school friend (who now lives in Nottingham) was my very first visitor at Maternal Manor. I'll have to give him some sort of pseudonym, which I have managed to avoid so far - he will henceforth be known as Doc, which is his moniker on any public-facing internet platform because he is an educator and doesn't want to be visible to his students. His sister lives round the corner where my infants and junior schools are, and she was looking after their mother until her death in July. 

His career has taken him all over the world, including long spells working in China, Indonesia and Malaysia, and his strong opinion, often stated, used to be that he could never set up a home outside London. Then he had to move to Nottingham and discovered, like the rest of us, that London has its pros but also very much its cons, and he now appreciates the provincial life. But his sister has many children and grandchildren and he has a strong connection to his family (he and his wife, Ms S, have no children) so he'll probably be in my neighbourhood quite a bit.

Lola II visited specifically to give me a hand with the unpacking, at which she performed excellently and was very welcome. She came up with ideas for where to put things, did some filing for me, entertained mum, and generally fulfilled her other designated role of 'responsible for morale'.

As a break from unpacking duties I spent Friday in London. The plan was to visit the V&A (it doesn't seem to be called the Victoria and Albert Museum any more) and then attend a Proms concert at the Albert Hall. But the free guided tour of the V&A was cancelled and after looking at the rooms containing Buddhist art I really couldn't raise enough enthusiasm for the rest of it. On the other hand, the Proms concert was terrific. I was given a free upgrade from a seat in the top circle to a box, and I really enjoyed the music - it was a Dutch-Turkish psychedelic folk-rock band backed by the BBC Symphony Orchestra. Not everyone's cup of tea perhaps, but I loved it.

A bit too much

Just a cow I met, September 2025

At Maternal Manor I started to tackle the water leak issue by contacting Thames Water via their Chat facility to find out how serious the problem is based on the readings from the water meter. After 90 minutes and three different agents who ignored my specific question I was passed to someone new who just gave me the answer I wanted. During the chat I not only took mum out to visit a friend but also went up into the loft to see what was there and how much space there might be - only to discover that there is a distinct noise of trickling water coming from the tank. Lola II nobly volunteered to contact a plumber. The kitchen trench is probably dry enough to be filled in now so there's a whole lot more work involved in getting two quotes for the full kitchen refurbishment so we can go back to the insurer.

I finally did it - I contacted one of the estate agents and started the process of selling Lola Towers.  I spent a full day making the house ready for photos - mowing the lawn, a trip to the tip with the remains of the garden table, putting everything out of sight into cupboards and the garage. It was all tidy enough for photos, but there will need to be a whole lot more cleaning before I'll be happy for people to see it close up. And it was utterly exhausting. 

The estate agent rep (who is very enthusiastic) took photos and measurements, next day someone else did some drone photography, and another person came to complete the Energy Performance Certificate and floor plan. The draft brochure for the house arrived from the estate agent, and while it does look very nice I've got quite a lot of work to do in tidying it up and suggesting different wording for the worst bits. Meanwhile someone else came and took more surplus bricks away, I touched up the paint on the Auditorium walls and the hall ceiling, and I remain exhausted.

A weekend with friends in Nottingham provided some respite, except it meant less time at home for the jobs that remain. A blood donation didn't go well and left me with a very painful arm, and a Buddhist film night at my house was so undersubscribed that I invited Nameless Man (who's not a Buddhist) to join us just to make it worth showing the film. That was probably the last public screening in my Auditorium. And a friend from Ireland came to stay on the way to a retreat. She is in the process of being diagnosed as having coeliac disease and has been pretty ill with it, so it's important that my host duties include keeping her away from gluten. At least that's within my skillset.

It's all a bit much, really. It's to be expected because in April I really cut down on my commitments but in May I didn't hold back, and I've ended up with a bit too much to do. But I'm keeping myself steady and focussed, trying to prioritise the urgent things and not stress about the rest.

More tales of travel, admin and water

Just before my year's entry ticket expired I managed to visit Hill Close Gardens in Warwick. It was the week when snowdrops are at their best, and it was really, really cold. Not much else was blooming so I didn't hang around, but I should go again when there's more to see and the wind is less biting. They are proud of their collections - not only snowdrops but chrysanthemums, sempervivums and 63 varieties of apple trees.

It's an interesting historical site too - in the 1840's when people living in towns didn't have gardens this site provided 'detached' gardens divided up into plots. Unlike allotments, people used them for pleasure, with lawns and summer houses as well as lots of fruit trees and flowers (although a few kept pigs too). Some of the plots were sold for housing in the 20th century, but just as all but one had fallen into dereliction and the diggers were on their way, local residents managed to get the site listed and it was saved for posterity. They then cleared it all up, and did lots of research into who had owned the plots and what they had looked like, restored some of the summer houses and then began opening for visitors.

My next outing was the annual Mr M & Lola II Film Festival, which I completely missed last year because I was ill. Not so this year, and the stand-out discovery was the French film "The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe", a slapstick comedy that had us all laughing. 

While I was in London I continued my efforts to link my Senior Railcard to my Oyster account. Mr M drew my attention to this possibility, but when I looked it up I found it needed to be done by a member of TfL staff in person, using an actual Oyster card - I've been simply using my contactless bank card for a long time. So I dug out my old Oyster card, but found I couldn't register it to the account unless it had been used in the last 8 weeks. So on this trip I used the card, after which I managed to register it to my online account. At West Ealing station they didn't have the right staff, but at Marylebone they were up for it - except that the card didn't show up as having been linked to the account. The saga continues.

The LTRP also continues, as it always will with such an old house, with a visit from Luke from Severn Trent Water to investigate the stain that has appeared in my front room. He confirmed that the meter is showing a small leak - he estimated 1 litre per hour, which doesn't seem particularly small to me. He's going to call in a team that will dig up the pavement around the meter and I'm hoping they will find the source of the leak, otherwise it will be another of those long-winded and potentially costly investigations.

Then my newest tradesman came to touch up the evidence of water staining and condensation in the porch, hall and kitchen. It was the same day that my new phone arrived, so I spent most of the day either entering passwords into apps or chatting to him about jobs he's done and the state of the world. The new phone keeps challenging me with passwords and connectivity and making unexpected noises and not having a 'back' button, but I'm sure it will all be sorted within a few weeks...

Success

Bookshop banister, Hay-on-Wye, September 2025

Time has been zipping along faster than something that is quite quick. Here I am already in the middle of next week.

First, a celebration. I started my weight loss plan in earnest at the beginning of July, and this week I achieved my target weight after a loss of 4.7 kg. The full extent of my weight loss is greater than this, because by the beginning of July I'd already lost a bit. However, my celebration is fairly subdued because I've lost weight before, and the part that I've never managed to achieve is maintenance. 

I still have a National Diabetes Prevention Programme coach - what happened on our latest call is she suggests that I do something, then I ask why she thinks I need to do that thing and she tells me all the benefits to my blood sugar or my weight, so I tell her the very good reason why that thing is not appropriate for me, and then tell her again and assert that she is not listening to me when she continues to advocate it. I have formed the strong opinion that her advice will not be useful to me, but her monthly call will at least make me accountable for keeping on track with my weight and eating habits. I have no idea whether it will work.

More success to celebrate - a year with Muscles the Personal Trainer and I am now achieving results that I could never have imagined when I started. For example, I'm pretty sure that we started with me lifting a weight of 2 kg, and this week I lifted 30 kg. Muscles says that with most people he tries to get them to aim for lifting their own weight, so there's still room for progress.

I got out into the garden before winter set in and mowed the grass and hacked down about three quarters of what needed hacking down. Other aspects of GRUHI are going very slowly but there is some small progress, and I met a very lovely decorator who will paint inside and outside but not until the spring. UJ's leaving date is a moveable feast but I think it will happen soon, and almost certainly before the end of November. I was going to write 'definitely' but you never know with UJ. We went out for dinner to celebrate our time together and it was very lovely.

There was quite a hectic visit to mum to celebrate her 93rd birthday during which Lola II cut my hair, Sister D joined us and we all went out for lunch, mum got her COVID vaccination, we visited an Eastern European/Asian supermarket, I got a parking ticket, we agreed the layout for dad's gravestone, I contacted the mason to find out what happens next, we agreed a date for the 'stone setting' (which will be attended by just the four of us), sang Happy Birthday accompanying an apple pastry that Lola II had made with a candle in it, and established that some emails mum had received were not malicious or spam but a new patient record platform that she had to sign up to in order to be notified of two appointments. Lola II took photos of the bubbling paintwork and blown tiles and forwarded pictures of the water meter taken by Sister D so that the plumber can assess whether he wants to visit or not. We got through quite a lot.

To finish - strong film recommendation. I Swear, which had me alternately laughing and sobbing and I forgot to take a hanky and had to go to the toilets afterwards to wash my face. Best film of the year.

Fungus, food, foray, films

Collegiate Church of St Mary, Warwick, October 2025

Merlin Sheldrake is a mycologist who has written a brilliant book on fungus called Entangled Life. I read it when I picked it off the shelves at my last solitary retreat, and enjoyed the book so much that I bought a copy to give to someone. Then I discovered that he is on a speaking tour around the country, and as none of the tour dates and locations were convenient, I bought a ticket instead to an event that would be broadcast online. He wasn't quite as much of a showman as he needed to be to pull off a world-class event, but the time-lapse images of growing fungi were astonishingly beautiful.

My Buddhist group has celebrated the return of one of our members who has been accepted into the Triratna Buddhist Order. This is a big deal for us - this is the first person in this group (which has been running for more than 20 years) to be ordained. For the celebration I baked vegan walnut brownies using gluten free flour, then went and put oat milk in them so they weren't gluten free, and they ended up with no structural integrity which resulted in nothing but (delicious) brownie crumbs. So then I used the rest of the gluten free flour to make sultana cookies, and they were fine coming out of the oven but then set as hard as rock. Everyone brought all sorts of cakes and biscuits that were much better than mine.

I generally look after the tea box between our weekly meetings and I really don't need a whole box of sweet treats plus cookies and chocolate walnut brownie crumbs lying around the house, calling out my name as I walk past them. The cookies went in the bin, I gave the brownie crumbs to Muscles, and I've actually put the rest in the loft - an extreme step, but necessary. I can bring them down for the group next week.

I went for another day trip to Warwick to see the sights I couldn't fit in the last time, starting with St Mary's church. It was a grey rainy day so the tower was closed but there was quite a lot of other stuff to see, including a great deal about various Warwickshire regiments, one of which was commanded by Field Marshall Montgomery. The banner representing the honour of his Order of the Garter is hanging in the church. There's also a crypt that contains the business part of a ducking stool. And all the wooden pews in the choir have carvings of musicians and animals.

I went on to Hill Close Gardens but it was closed for a private event, so that means another trip to Warwick will be needed. Instead, I returned to the Lord Leycester Hospital to look at everything I missed on the last tour, and then back to the museum which was advertising an exhibit about British Blind Sport, which has its headquarters in Leamington and is celebrating its 50th year. It was a very small exhibit, and the most interesting part for me was a couple of short videos about Goalball (a bit like bowling but with goals and goalkeepers) and Showdown (a bit like air hockey and table tennis combined).

Apart from Buddhism and local tourism I've watched the usual collection of films, many of which have been above average. I would recommend Kitchen Brigade (French), Sing Sing (set in the New York prison), Signs of Life (a non-speaking woman goes on holiday), Better Man (avoid if you don't like Robbie Williams, but recommended if you do), and Better Days (another French one). The Royal Spa Centre continues to show films that I want to see.

A visit from Lola II

Lola II enjoying a nice sensible cup of tea, April 2025

I was privileged to host an overnight visit from Lola II, despite the terrible state of her knees which are each suffering from a different complaint. We usually do a whole lot of walking when we are together, so this demanded a new, car-based approach for our usual pastimes of eating, talking, playing and mucking about.

It's not that she can't walk, but she can't walk far, and steps and stairs are quite a problem. So instead of walking together from the station into town I picked her up in the car. First stop was lunch at a beautiful riverside pub that used to have delicious food, but was sadly disappointing this time. Never mind, we went elsewhere for dessert after a stop at the Re-Useful Centre, my new treasure trove, where we found a perfect walking stick. She doesn't particularly need it for walking but it does help with the stairs, and it may get her a seat at busy times on the tube.

Dessert was cake at Temperance café, where they also keep a few board games for customers. I'd noticed one of the games I'd played with my U3A group that I thought was rather good (Splendor), so we had a go, and it went so well that we thought we might go to a games café next day - there are at least two in Leamington.

Evening entertainment was a National Theatre Live performance of Dr Strangelove, adapted for the stage by Armando Ianucci and starring Steve Coogan. I'm enjoying these NT Live shows, and there are a few more to come over the summer. Lola II managed to walk from Lola Towers all the way to the Royal Spa Centre where it was on, but went the long way round to avoid the steps up to the door.

Next morning I started on the task that Lola II had brought for me - shortening some new trousers (she did give me two large leeks and some carrots in payment). I only made one fairly serious mistake and broke two sewing machine needles - the twin sort for stretch material, which seem to break as soon as you look at them. My enthusiasm for stretch fabric is seriously waning, although this must be the first time I've got the sewing machine out for at least a year, and I came across the fabric we bought in 2016 when I was supposed to be making a dress for Lola II. I try not to think about it. I'll definitely get round to it one day but it just doesn't feel like a priority at the moment.

My ineptitude at sewing was interrupted for each of us to have a massage. I'd booked this when the venue was just a short walk into town, which might have been a problem for Lola II's knees except that they had moved to an out-of-town venue so we could drive. I try to make sure that there are activities in Leamington that can't be found in Lola's home area so that she has a reason to visit. Previously it had been the optician, but she's found one locally (how rude). Thankfully I think I have her hooked on the massage option now. She does the same for me - visiting their local international supermarket is my treat whenever I stay with Lola II and Mr M.

We had lunch at another place (Boston Tea Party) in Leamington which was half the price and twice as good as lunch the previous day at the fancy riverside gastropub. I shall visit BTP again. Then we did go to one of the games cafés where we repeated the game from the day before and tried another (One Key), which involved guessing which very strange picture had been chosen using various other very strange pictures, and it seemed absolutely impossible except somehow I managed to guess Lola II's very strange picture - an achievement that will never be repeated.

Before she left, I went through my box of art materials and persuaded Lola II to take as much GRUHI stuff as I could. So at the end of a lovely couple of days I delivered Hopalong Lola back to the train station with her new walking stick, and listed a few things that she didn't want on the trading platform Olio, and they were collected later that day. When it works, Olio is a marvel.

Lola I enjoying a ridiculously outrageous milkshake

A very ordinary week

Dovecote, Kyre Hall Park, October 2024

There's been nothing special to report for the whole week, in which I did all the things that I regularly do, and a few optional extras, and it was all fine.

• the weekly shop
• the U3A board games group
• a candlelit vigil in town to commemorate three years of the war in Ukraine
• Monday evening badminton
• a GRUHI trip to the tip and to Action 21 with all the electrical junk
• watched a film at home
• Tuesday evening Buddhists
• visit to mum
• a session with Muscles (my personal trainer)
• a bonus massage (because I'm worth it)
• Thursday evening badminton
• the U3A ramble
• a Buddhist team meeting via Zoom
• the Repair Café LETS trading table to try and get rid of more stuff (nobody wanted anything)
• my music group (I have been given a big solo this term)
• watched another film at home
• did nearly all the necessary routine admin
• a film at the cinema to end the week.

I do try to find interesting content for this blog, but there really isn't any this week. I'm looking forward to warmer weather - I find February the cruellest month. Daffodils are appearing in the garden and the paving is invisible under its blanket of weeds. So, much the same as every year.

December films

Birmingham, March 2024

I've discovered the drawback to audiobooks via Spotify - I'm only entitled to 15 hours listening a month, so my latest Spotify book will take three months unless I buy extra listening time, which I'm not going to do. On the other hand, this spurred me on to explore BorrowBox, which is a free audiobook lending service provided by the local library. The range of books isn't as wide as Audible or Spotify and if a book's on loan then you have to wait, but you can reserve them.

Aside from spending time reading print and audio books I've seen a LOT of great films in December. I had a fair amount of free time over Christmas, and signed up for a free trial of Apple TV for a week. It turned out that very few of the films I was expecting to find were available there for free, but I started watching Ted Lasso (a TV series rather than a film) and loved it! UJ subscribes to Netflix and Prime, I get Disney+ as a perk of a Lloyds bank account, iPlayer and YouTube are free, and my DVD-by-post fills in the gaps. And I really did watch all these films in December.

Beatles '64 (Documentary, 2024, Disney+)

It was a bit of a risk watching this given how I'd fallen apart slightly last time I watched a film about the Beatles in 1969. But this was five years earlier, and the film followed their first foray into America which included that famous Ed Sullivan show and all the screaming fans. I enjoyed it.

Despicable Me 4 (Children/Family, 2024, DVD)

Not the best in the series (that's probably DM2) but doesn't disappoint. Villains are suitably villainous, the good guys come through in the end, and there's enough minion slapstick to please anyone.

Beautiful Boy (Drama, 2018, DVD)

I'm not sure how this got into my list because I've seen it before. Steve Carell and Timothée Chalamet do a great job as concerned father and addict son.

Bird (Drama, 2024, Cinema)

This was a bit of a gamble because my film review podcaster gurus were a little ambivalent, but it turned out to be wonderful. A young girl is trying to deal with her chaotic father re-marrying and her mother's abusive boyfriend putting her siblings in danger when she meets an interesting stranger called Bird.

Women Talking (Drama, 2022, iPlayer)

Another fantastic film, about an isolated religious community where it has been discovered that the men have been drugging and abusing the women and children. A few of the women get together to decide what to do:- nothing, forgive, fight and stay, or leave. Made particularly special by some wonderful actors.

Conclave (Thriller, 2024, Cinema)

I collected my friend with the new hip and drove him to the cinema to see this - it didn't disappoint. The Pope has died and the Cardinals are assembling into the Conclave where a new Pope is elected. It's based on a book by Robert Harris so many twists and turns follow, some more obvious than others. The background music is particularly effective.

Snow Cake (Drama, 2006, DVD)

This was my eventual choice for Buddhist film night, a wonderful film starring Alan Rickman and Sigourney Weaver, whom we last saw together in Galaxy Quest. This is a very different matter compared with that sci-fi comedy - Alan is a buttoned-up Brit and Sigourney an autistic mother, and the scenery, humour and pace of the film make it so heart-warming.

Still: A Michael J Fox Movie (Documentary, 2023, Apple TV)

A biographical documentary made by Fox himself, starting with his hugely successful early career before his diagnosis with Parkinson's Disease in 1991 at the age of just 30. His sense of humour comes through alongside the difficulties of living with the disease. It was interesting, but nothing special.

CODA (Drama, 2021, Apple TV)

I've been wanting to see this ever since it came out, so it was one of the first things I picked from my trial of Apple TV. CODA stands for Child Of Deaf Adults, and the film shows how the hearing daughter of deaf parents with a deaf brother copes with being the family interpreter while having musical ambitions of her own which her parents can't understand, or even hear. It was a wonderful film, thoroughly recommended.

Swan Song (Sci-fi thriller, 2021, Apple TV)

Set in the near future, a guy who is dying can replace himself with a healthy version, but he's not allowed to tell anyone and he would then die in the facility that does the copying. It's a great premise and the film was mostly good but went much too slowly towards the end - I lost patience with his sentimental indecision.

Come From Away (Musical, 2017, Apple TV)

I went to see the stage show in London with Lola II and only discovered this movie version (filmed on Broadway) with my Apple subscription. It's got some great tunes and I love the story behind it: a remote town in Newfoundland, Canada takes in 7000 travellers who are diverted from their destinations when US airspace is closed in the immediate aftermath of 9/11.

Fly Me To The Moon (Romance, 2024, Apple TV)

A standard romantic comedy set within NASA in the lead up to the first moon landing. The premise is that a) someone was recruited to 'sell' the idea of going to the moon in order to attract funding, and b) the success of the enterprise was so important that a secret fake moon landing was to be filmed just in case the real one went wrong. Channing Tatum and Scarlett Johansson are both lovely to look at.

On The Rocks (Drama, 2020, Apple TV)

I was really casting about to see if there was anything left on Apple TV that I wanted, and rejected Killers of the Flower Moon because it was 3½ hours long. This looked interesting as it features Bill Murray, who usually makes a film worth seeing. Not so much this time, but good enough that I saw it through to the end.

Emilia Perez (Musical, 2024, Netflix)

This is the strangest musical that I have ever seen. It's a serious drama set within crime-ridden Mexico but featuring occasional songs like a musical, with the most unexpected plot twist I have ever encountered and ending with a huge gangster shootout. I absolutely loved it - highly recommended.

My Old Ass (Comedy, 2024, Prime)

Another cracking film, where a young woman meets an older version of herself (Aubrey Plaza, whom I love), and pesters her for a piece of advice which then proves impossible to follow. And then we find out why and it's heart-breaking. So not altogether a comedy, I suppose, but I thought it was great.

Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl (Comedy, 2024, iPlayer)

Released on Christmas Day, I watched it (nearly) live and of course it's very entertaining. Perhaps I was saturated with films by then, but I didn't think it was anything extraordinary. The first plasticine animations were so original and different, but we're all used to them now.

Wit (Drama, 2001, YouTube)

I've been trying to find this film for many years and had concluded that it was no longer available until unexpectedly during a film-based conversation somebody mentioned they'd seen it, and suggested it might be found on YouTube. Which it was. Based on a play, over the course of 1½ hours it simply focusses on one woman's death from cancer after a life spent teaching 17th century poetry.

Human Traffic (Drama, 1999, iPlayer)

I brought this to Nottingham to watch as our Christmas film along with my friends, who hadn't seen it before. It portrays the club scene at the end of the 90's, which the four of us were all quite familiar with, and it definitely doesn't take itself too seriously.

So that was eighteen films watched in December, and on 1st January I watched another in Amsterdam with Lola II and Mr M - but that's a story for another blog post.

The launch of GRUHI

July 2023

I've managed to start the huge project to try and free myself of all the accumulated stuff in my house that might come in useful one day, or that reminds me of something or someone, or is broken or just needed to be out of the way so it found its way to the loft, or that is nice to look at but taking up space and accumulating dust. So much Stuff. Just looking around from where I'm sitting: a silver desk clock with the second hand broken off. A small plastic dinosaur. An English dictionary and Thesaurus. A non-functional electric blanket. Three French language course books. And mum has also been passing me things that she no longer needs.

I don't want it all to end up in landfill, and ideally I'd like to find new owners who would appreciate the items. As with the LTRP I feel that to maintain momentum I need to apply an acronym. Get Rid of Unwanted Household Items seems appropriate: GRUHI. Sounds suitably gruesome to signify the tedious and difficult nature of the job and yet with a jolly little hiccup at the end which is the joy when it is accomplished.

Anyway, the first item to achieve the GRUHI status is my old iPod, which I have listed on eBay along with various compatible items - the iPod speaker docking station and assorted cables. The auction ended on Sunday and the iPod sold; I relisted the docking station and received one bid; the other items aren't even getting any views, so how will I get rid of those?

Leamington has a number of local initiatives as well as branches of national initiatives, which is one of the reasons I like to live here. LETS is a local trading community where the currency is 'Oaks' and people trade services rather than goods - giving lifts, swapping plants, make and mend sessions, recommendations for tradespeople and helping with any sort of household jobs. I've been a member for some time but haven't actually offered or asked for help. Leamington also has a monthly 'Repair Café' where people can take items that need repairing, and I have used that - they have extended the life of my camping chairs and a shopping bag.

Apparently Leamington LETS is represented at the monthly Repair Café. They have said that I might bring some GRUHI goods and see if anyone will take them off my hands - either the visitors, or maybe the people doing the repairs. That's all very interesting for the future, but the second Leamington Film Festival was about to take place and I needed to sort out the door to my toilet, which is dragging on the threshold and would be in danger of damage at the hands of multiple strangers pulling and pushing at it. So I put out a request via LETS, and who should respond but one of my U3A board game friends?

So he came over and we have improved the state of the door - I wouldn't say it's fixed but it's certainly much better. And he stayed for a cup of tea, and I told him about the Film Festival and sent him the link and he came to two of the films, which was very nice. And when I was out with my U3A walking group I mentioned my new project, and they told me about a company in Warwick that might be interested in dad's stamps - I haven't yet had time to do anything about that yet but it could happen soon.

And there are many charity shops in Leamington, and one of my Buddhist friend volunteers in two different charity shops in Kenilworth, and there's the shop at the tip, so many other ways to take forward my GRUHI initiative. It's now mid-September and I think it would be helpful to have some kind of time-based target for what I might achieve. Difficult to imagine what that might be at the moment - maybe I could go round the house listing everything to get rid of by the end of the year?

My second Film Festival

Random Chairs in a Darkened Room, September 2024

After the first Leamington Film Festival (Random Chairs in a Darkened Room Worldwide) took place in 2019, we had to give way to the pandemic. That first event had been relatively successful, but I decided a) to scale it back to films only on Friday night and Saturday, and b) to enlist a local collaborator who is in my Buddhist group. Almost immediately after we had set the date - one of the only weekends in the remaining year when we were both available - he became unavailable due to his son getting the grades he needed to get into a university that required his presence on the Saturday.

Never mind, we decided to go ahead anyway and I benefited from his management of the drinks on Friday night, which is an area where my skills are very much lacking. I was also supported very well by the Gulloebls - Lola II and Mr M - who came armed with snacks as well as trailers to each of the showings. Huge thanks to them. 

So it was looking pretty good on Friday afternoon: I had rearranged the furniture, tested the films, got an extra kettle down from the loft... and then the doorbell failed. Mr M's job was door answering, which was probably a poor choice given that he was the least likely to be able to hear anyone knocking on the door. Luckily one of the guests was the university entrant and his young ears proved invaluable.

We welcomed thirteen people on Friday night for Catherine Called Birdy, which I class as a roaring success. There were almost no bookings before the event for the Saturday films, but a few people came at the last minute (one without booking at all) so that we did watch the first film on Saturday (the Blues Brothers), and nine attended for the late afternoon performance of This Beautiful Fantastic. It was a film that I hadn't seen before and which turned out to be... all right. A nice film, but I would say that the Film Festival demands a more exceptional standard.

None of the visitors had attended the event five years ago, but all seemed very enthusiastic about future events, and I think we can build nicely from this baseline. Booking their place, bringing themselves, food and drink at the right time, and dressing up for Friday will all improve, and for my part I could make sure the doorbell works next time. I don't think I'll extend beyond Saturday next year, and as Mr M commented, real success will be demonstrated when someone stays for two films in a row.

Volunteering and a weekend off

August 2023

I haven't written anything for ages, but I've got some unattractive tasks ahead of me so I thought I'd cushion the experience with some leisure writing first, even though it turns out there's not much to say.

After a lovely weekend with friends in Nottingham I drove on to Adhisthana, the retreat centre near Ledbury where I volunteer. This time I haven't been put in the kitchen or the office, but am helping in advance of their biggest event of the year, where all rooms are filled and the field is open for camping too. There are so many guests that a marquee is erected as a shrine room and the barn is used for meals. The barn accumulates junk through the year, so one job has been to clear it out and set it up ready for food service. Stocks of food are ordered, paper plates and cups have arrived, and there's all the usual cleaning to be done.

Surprisingly, the job I most enjoyed involved refilling all the cleaning product bottles and distributing them round the site - hand wash, surface cleaning spray, toilet cleaner and washing up liquid. But most of the time I was cleaning areas that already looked pretty clean to me, which I take to be a good reason why I have strongly resisted being put in charge of any cleaning operation. Given the numbers who are coming, if it were down to me I'd just wait to clean up afterwards - they're going to make it so much more dirty than it is now. Anyway, the housekeeper was very complimentary about how tidy the cleaning product refilling station was after I'd finished.

I've been given the weekend off and a half day next week, so came home to find UJ had already gone for a weekend away. I had a proper day off on Saturday, and finished watching the huge three-part series about the Beatles recording their penultimate album and performing on the roof of the Apple building in London in 1969, which I was vaguely aware of but didn't know any of the details. I found it hugely moving and have been affected by it for days now.

When I went out on Saturday Leamington was teeming with people. The bowling greens are hosting their annual national competition, then the Pump Room gardens were full of the Warwickshire Pride festival, with stalls offering everything in rainbow colours and a sound stage and a funfair. Moving on towards Jephson Gardens there was a wedding reception happening, and also a chap with a funny-looking horn was playing it through the railings into the Jephson memorial building to make the sound resonate more. I do love Leamington when it's busy.

So far in February

Adhisthana, May 2023

Lots of stuff since I last wrote, but none of it worthy of more meaningful consideration than a series of bullet points (except perhaps the last, but that's all it's getting).

• I visited my regular dental hygienist on her last day of work at the practice, and was happy to show her the good results of all the treatment I've been having. She was genuinely delighted and offered me a hug. I've never been hugged at the dentist before, so that's a first.
• A call to renew acquaintance with Mr MXF and a new job that involves testing some training materials he's developed. I broke the system within seven minutes simply by uploading a picture of a cake, and he thanked me for finding a weakness he'd never have thought of.
• Film recommendation: All Of Us Strangers, which I went to with UJ. She can cope well when there are subtitles but not so much in the cinema or with accents, so she missed one of the key plot points. I loved this film even more than Poor Things which I also saw with her and which was more of a spectacle and less nuanced. She preferred Poor Things, maybe because it was easier to understand despite being Mad.
• Buddhism: a morning at the Birmingham Centre as well as the usual Tuesday evenings, where we welcomed a visitor from Adhisthana (aka Triratna HQ, the retreat centre where I have been volunteering) and I realised how much I miss having an Order Member here so I can ask those tricky questions. I'm delighted that he'll be coming for two more weeks.
• The music group has started again with a few good arrangements as well as a couple of tedious pop songs. Each month I sigh at having committed to this before setting off anyway, and return with a spring in my step having thoroughly enjoyed myself and wondering how I might fit in some more clarinet and sax playing, and conclude that I'd definitely have to give up something else.
• Shrove Tuesday pancake mask competition - last year was my first attempt at this, but this year the theme was a more difficult one. I managed to put in an entry though. Judging is on 2nd March.
• U3A walking group - I'm enjoying this a great deal, despite Friday's walk being a lot more muddy than expected which made the going a bit tough. The leader slipped over and cut his hand quite badly on barbed wire, another person complained a little too often about the mud, and I accidentally opened a conversation about Brexit that perhaps wasn't appropriate, but we all survived. The U3A board games group is good too.
• Badminton - a match on Thursday left me a bit achy and tired before the difficult walk on Friday. I always end up trying harder and stretching more for a match compared with a club night, and I'm definitely not as young as I was. A couple of times I've left before the club night has ended, which my younger self would have found inconceivable. Still, I'll carry on playing until I can't play any more because walking is good exercise but nowhere near as much fun as swatting a shuttlecock in a big room.
• Visiting parents - the downstairs shower room conversion is going well and looks very nice, although the basin has accidentally been installed about 10cm higher than it should have. What with everyone in the family being short and  in some cases getting shorter this needs to be remedied. Mum and I picked out a new bathroom cabinet, and I put a couple of things no longer needed onto Freecycle.
• The tenth Random Chairs in a Darkened Room Film Festival hosted by Mr M and Lola II took place at the weekend, with six of the eight films being chosen by myself and another friend. Best film (in my opinion): Calvary (2014). It was the usual splendid event with many visitors, lots of food, ice creams and popcorn, wonderful trailers and shorts before the main screening, and I was given a shiny badge to wear designating my status as Guest Curator.

I watch many films

Kew Gardens, October 2022

I paid the price for my increased level of social contact by coming down with a horrible cough, sore throat and runny nose - I'll give it a couple of days and then see if it's Covid. That will teach me to go out socialising with people. [Update - it wasn't Covid.]

As well as the concert, badminton, comedy, meetings etc. last week I joined Lola II, Mr M (and other friends including Mr MXF and BL2) for the celebration of Diwali in Southall, home of a large concentration of Diwali-celebrating maniacs. We mingled with the crowds, admired the Indian produce and then Mr M achieved a significant win by finding a restaurant able to accommodate all of us in its basement. A vegetarian restaurant, so I was extra happy, and the food he chose for us was tremendous too. The only blot on the landscape was the unfortunate incident with the thermos of chai that leaked all over the floor (and the matches, and the sparklers, and the rucksack) in quite a spectacular way.

After our dinner the plan was to make our way back to the bridge by the station to watch the fireworks. On the way through the crowded streets, young men (mostly) were setting off fireworks in the street, one of them holding a display box above his head as it fired rockets upwards, and others being equally careless about the safety of themselves and others. Back at the station we lit some sparklers and watched the seemingly never-ending displays in surrounding locations. Back at the house I fell asleep while the bangs and pops continued into the night.

Back home, and my dental hygienist is very pleased with how my teeth are progressing, the garage is very pleased with how my car is going, and mum seems very pleased with the 'heavy duty' plastic carpet protector that should help her and the carers move the hoist about more easily (although with the passing of time we'll find out how heavy duty it really is). We have now received the proposals from the Community OT Team for a ramp in the front garden which is out of all proportion in terms of construction and cost, and for the changes to the downstairs shower room which look good but there are details that need to be ironed out. We plan to turn down the ramp but accept the shower adaptation, at which point we move from the OT department to the Home Improvement Team and the story continues.

I have a bank account that offers an annual benefit to its account holders, and last year I chose to accept six free cinema tickets. With less than a month left I had only used two of them, so in the last three weeks I've felt some pressure to go to see films at the cinema that I might not otherwise have chosen, as well as making use of my usual DVDs by post, the Royal Spa Centre's loyalty scheme and hosting a Buddhist Social film night. Here are my reviews:

• The Great Escaper (based on a true story about a WW2 veteran going to France for the commemoration celebrations with great final performance by Glenda Jackson, 4*)
• Broker (fantastic Korean drama about an unofficial baby adoption 'service', 5*)
• Dumb Money (a bit like The Big Short, a story about financial markets, 4*)
• Clerks (nostalgic viewing of a film I loved when it came out in 1994, 5*)
• The Creator (spectacular special effects, too long and much too much death but includes Buddhist robots, 3*)
• One Fine Morning (French drama about a single mother with a sick father, wasn't that bad but only 3*)
• Dream Scenario (fine performance from Nicholas Cage but not very enjoyable on the whole, 3*)
• Dream Horse (another based-on-a-true-story drama about a Welsh syndicate who buy a race horse, predictable and sentimental but features Toni Collette doing Welsh, 3*)
• Return to Seoul (another Korean film about adoptions, had lots of potential but in the end I didn't care about any of the characters, 3*)
• Saltburn (dark thriller in the style of Brideshead Revisited or The Go Between - lower class misfit spends summer in upper class pile, would have got more stars for the plot but many of the characters were horrible so only 3*)
• Marvellous (traditional annual viewing with the Buddhists of this heart-warming film, 5*)
• The Miracle Club (about a trip to Lourdes for a miracle, also predicable and sentimental but features Maggie Smith and Kathy Bates both doing Irish, 4*)

The week

Vajraloka, May 2022

Quick round up of events in the last week before I head off into the unknown:

• Last minute outing for Lola II's birthday, for delicious Sunday lunch (which was what she asked for) at a fancy pub near Oxford, chosen because it's about half-way between us and was highly rated. My vegetarian choices were amazing, Lola II and Mr M reported that their starter was wonderful but there was a bit too much fat and gristle on the roast beef. The waitress who came to ask how the meal was steadfastly refused to apologise for this, which lost them the option of a return visit (from me anyway).
• Then we returned to Oxford and stayed over so that we could do a bit of tourism. What we actually did was watch two films (Bank of Dave and Tár), visit the Weston Library (interesting exhibition about the early years of photography), have a slap up breakfast in town, lunch in the market, and cake for tea. I had a lovely time.
• I had a Zoom meeting and a real life meeting with the Buddhists. It was film night at my house, there were six of us, and we had supper together then watched The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. A couple of people hadn't seen it before, and it's always fun to see and hear their reactions.
• I went to see mum and dad, and was encouraged that mum is still improving , albeit more slowly than she would like.
• Another Thursday, another badminton match. We lost the match, but my partner and I won one game, which makes it slightly better.

Now I'm about to go on a week's solitary retreat in Suffolk, which I haven't done before. I've been thinking about it a great deal, trying to work out what to take and what not to take, and planning what I might do with my time offline. I'm very interested in how I manage, but overall I'm looking forward to it.

I'm nearly 60

Irvin, February 2023

During the ski trip there was a theme running through the week, which started on the overnight Eurostar going out. I found myself in the small hours, still awake and trying to get comfortable enough to sleep by lying on the floor rather than sitting up in a chair. "I'm nearly 60," I thought. "I don't think my younger self would have anticipated that I'd be lying on the floor of a train trying to sleep when I'm nearly 60." Subsequently, when on previous trips I'd have been working out when the last ski lift would enable me to get home at the end of the day, on this trip at about 2.30 p.m. we started to consider getting back for a bath and supper. "After all, we're nearly 60..."

Then last week I played in two badminton matches. Towards the end of the second one I completely ran out of steam. Luckily I was paired with a much younger partner who did all the running about that I would previously have considered to be my role. I'm really am nearly 60, in so many aspects of life.

Coming back from the ski trip I was expecting UJ to reappear within a couple of days. She had gone home to fetch her cat and I thought she had made all the arrangements and booked transport, but arrangements can be altered and cancelled, and she gave me a new date when she was planning to come without the cat. That date also came and went, and now it may be March. I'm not holding my breath.

Before she went, she drew my attention to the draughty state of the windows in her room, and she has a point. So I called upon Doors and Windows Ulf, who diagnosed old hinges and has gone away to order some new ones. So that needs to happen at some point.

The Film Festival run by Mr M and Lola II went swimmingly as usual, with a new introductory trailer and a fantastic advertisement for Random Cuts, the hairdressing service offered by Lola II ("Only 15 minutes bus ride from the nearest A&E!") My music group restarted, there's the usual Buddhist activity, and I was able to take in another dog, called Irvin. Only for 24 hours, which was quite enough - he's not done much training, and it shows! I've been spoiled by the dogs that are later in their training like Caddie and Pat.

The dental work is going fairly well, I've been allowed to move on to my sixth set of aligners (out of 37), and yesterday I had one of my back molars extracted by my very lovely dentist. It's a shame that I see him mainly for painful treatments. In fact, despite the difficulty of the extraction and the state of the resulting extraction site, it hurts very little today. The dentist's commentary as we went along was also interesting - I had to have extra anaesthetic because of my 'interesting jaw anatomy' and apparently I'm very good at clotting. I told him that this information will all be very useful when I create my online dating profile.

Party!

Vajraloka, May 2022

UJ is back! She notified me of her return flight, arriving at Birmingham on a day with absolutely no train service because of the strike, and at the same time as I was due to play in a badminton match. A friend kindly offered to meet her at the airport and drive her home. We exchanged Christmas gifts - a mug with a cat design for her, chocolates and a body scrub for me. Her family is not in too bad a situation despite living in Kyiv, because they are in an old apartment that uses gas for heating and cooking, so despite the power cuts they are warm. She tells me that Kyiv has also improved its missile defences so they aren't too badly off on that front either. Still, she is glad to be here rather than there.

In the past, the Christmas Day celebrated in Ukraine corresponded with that of the Russian church on 7th January. UJ tells me that because all things Russian are now distasteful there is a move to celebrate on 25th December instead. But this year, our amazing local coordinator who is devoting her whole life to helping the refugees arranged a party for all the Ukrainians in the district, and their hosts. The Pump Room was the venue, and such was the demand that there was no room for hosts! This very much disappointed UJ who was keen for me to attend, and in the end I did go for a couple of hours, which was really all I could tolerate.

The local MP was also there and made a little speech - he has been very helpful in trying to get the right visas and accommodation and no doubt much more I don't know about. Children ran about and screamed in the way that children do when they are excited and having fun, one little boy had a major meltdown when his helium balloon escaped, there was a high speed collision between two of the children, but on the whole harmony reigned. Before I arrived a violinist and a singer had performed, I sampled some of the traditional Ukrainian Christmas dishes, a local ukulele band played, and I left before the disco.

We lost the badminton match that I was playing when UJ arrived, but the same players plus UJ convened for a pub quiz on Sunday night. We didn't win that either, but it was fun and we're planning to do it again in a fortnight. I had to forgo the next badminton match because I had a tooth extracted which had shown up on the latest X-ray as Not Very Well. My dentist is lovely. After I had childishly complained about having to endure the procedure and then pay for it we got down to business. The tooth was actually broken (horizontally) which hadn't shown up on the X-ray, but he got it all out without any fuss, and sadly agreed with the orthodontist that another extraction would probably be needed. So, more fun with teeth to come.

After dosing myself with painkillers UJ took me to the cinema that evening. She had asked a couple of times whether I wanted to see the latest blockbuster Avatar 3D movie, and I had said no, but when she asked again I realised that she just needed some company, so there I was on Monday night with my 3D glasses. It's actually the first proper 3D film I've seen - I went with Lola II and Sister D aeons ago but that wasn't a proper movie with a story, just a demonstration of what 3D could do. Avatar was an extraordinary and astonishing visual spectacle, and I have no idea how it was made, but it was much too long and I wasn't particularly interested in the story. In fact, I found myself feeling sad that so many people and animals were portrayed as being violently killed or maimed, and wondered why this continues to feature so prominently in so many films, while showing something as relatively innocuous as smoking (or even vaping) is now completely unacceptable.

A trip north followed, to see H+B and also the man I met at the Shrewsbury Folk Festival who was interested in mum's button accordion, but subsequently decided he didn't want it. We had a nice chat, he's volunteering at the Festival again but I'm not, he handed over the accordion and maybe we'll be in touch next time I'm back up north.

Vajraloka, May 2022

My week

Caddie, May 2022

A couple of portraits of the lovely Caddie in this post, to keep you going because I'm just about to head off on another retreat, this time for two whole weeks. A fortnight offline, no phone or Internet, and I'm ready for it. There's been altogether too much going on (entirely my own fault) so the opportunity of a break is very welcome.

The Queen is dead, long live the King. I found out on the way to badminton, where we didn't cancel the session out of respect - I'm sure the Queen wouldn't have minded badminton, or football, or any of the other events that didn't happen. The England National Bowling championship, however, must have felt a lot of respect because they cancelled their final weekend of competition. In previous years the security level at the end of the road felt a little intrusive, but the bored security man (who couldn't quite be bothered to get up to move the cones but reached out from his chair) felt very low key indeed after the armed police at the Commonwealth Games. I'm glad to be on retreat when the funeral happens, and hope that everything will be very much back to normal when I get back, not that normal is particularly satisfactory in the current UK society and politics.

Lola II and Martin are about to take off for a big adventure in the Far East, and I went to stay with them for the weekend before they went. We were mostly doing things outside because they want to minimise the chances of catching Covid, but we did lots of lovely walking, some of it with Lola II's new dogfriend Reggie. On Saturday while Lola II went swimming I had the opportunity to visit the site of the Grenfell Tower fire. We ate at the Portobello market, visited the passport office in Victoria, walked from Kew to Richmond and back, and watched one of the films on my list.

Lola II and Mr M are very accommodating when it comes to films on my list.  I compile the list from reading and listening to reviews, particularly by Kermode and Mayo, but it's often difficult to tell exactly what you're going to get. There have been some wonderful ones, but more than once they have sat through some very 'interesting' offerings - 'Tale of Tales', 'The Worst Person in the World' and 'The Dog Who Wouldn't Be Quiet' spring to mind immediately. Memorable, but not in a good way. This time it was 'Everything Everywhere All at Once' and we're still not sure what was going on half of the time. A world where humans have evolved with frankfurters for fingers, the need to swap right and left shoes, and why did he have to give himself paper cuts? All very strange.

Anyway, that was the weekend, then all three of us went over to see mum and dad on Monday and did various jobs including swapping tables in kitchen and dining room, more research into mobility scooters and garage doors, introducing mum to the website where she'll be able to track Lola II's and Mr M's progress around the world, gardening, and photographing mum playing her button accordion because I'd met someone at Shrewsbury Folk Festival who was interested in buying it. I met him on Wednesday and handed it over, but he says "Unfortunately the accordion is, as I suspected, an Eb/Bb model which was apparently popular in the 50s/60s. A good key for singers but no good for folk sessions." So I'll be getting it back next time I pass that way.

My optician appointment this week confirms what I already knew about my near vision getting worse, but at least it's five years since the last new pair of incredibly expensive specs. Due to my complex prescription I get a voucher with a discount, welcome of course but contributing only a fraction of the cost. Luckily the children's range of frames fits me so I can choose a frame for only £40 rather than the other ranges which start at about £150...

And that's it for now. Normal service should resume in October.

Meetings

Riverhill Himalayan Garden, June 2021

In order to host my Ukrainian refugee, I have been visited by the District Council housing officer and found deficient to the tune of two smoke alarms and a Gas Safety Certificate. I can't believe how close to death I have been for the last 20 years here without such essentials. Anyway, I ordered smoke alarms via the Warwickshire Fire Service website, and noticed that a local company was offering to provide the gas certification for free for people signed up to the Homes for Ukraine scheme. The alarms have arrived - now I have to decide whether to do the proper thing and screw them to the ceiling, or make it easy on myself and use sticky pads.

Buddhist film night at my house went very well apart from burning the popcorn the first time round when a visitor distracted me by turning up very late indeed. They did bring delicious tortilla, and the second round of popcorn went well so they are forgiven. We watched the film Galaxy Quest, and one of the guests declared that he had come for the company and wasn't expecting to enjoy the film at all, but in fact it was really good and he was going to get his whole family to watch it.

I have been to two local meetings about the Commonwealth Games, which it is now clear will cause significant disruption in Leamington and Warwick and in my road in particular. One meeting was in the Pub Next Door and led by two of the local people who have been liaising with the Games Organising Committee about our three streets. Up to now they have been bound to confidentiality, but details have been worked through and there's now a much clearer idea of what residents will endure. It's likely to be so difficult that one of our two liaisons has decided to move out for the duration of the event.

The other meeting was for all residents of Warwick and Leamington, which was very carefully referred to as Royal Leamington Spa by all the officials throughout (one of them stopping to correct herself after saying just 'Leamington'). As well as the men's, women's and para bowling here in Royal Leamington Spa, the men's and women's cycling road race will encircle Warwick. In attendance were people from the District Council, the County Council, the West Midlands and Warwickshire Police services, the Organising Committee, Transport for West Midlands, and a handful of residents.

The cycling road race will prevent a lot of people in Warwick from getting in or out of their homes by car, but will only last for a single day. The bowling will remove 60 car parking spaces from our three roads for about a month, which is a great deal less time than was at first proposed. We have now seen the plans for where those cars might go, and how we will gain access to our properties, and when we can't - twice a day, lunchtime and evening, when the anticipated 2,400 spectators for each session will be leaving the bowling venue. I'd love to see the ticket sales, because based on my experience last summer I'd be surprised if they sell half that number.

The local group is doing a good job of speaking up for residents, and the Organising Committee is leaving it pretty much up to us to work out how to manage the restrictions. While most of us won't experience more than mild inconvenience, arrangements for people with Blue Badges, with young children or who are visited by carers need to be a bit more thought out, along with some allowance for people doing a weekly shop, deliveries, tradesmen, etc. One resident in the most affected road has added to the disruption by selling their house and potentially needing access by a removal truck during the month in question. For me, having a garage, it shouldn't be too difficult. For my guests, however, I might have to do a bit of homework.

A Grand Day Out (part 2)

Corinthia Hotel, June 2021

Part 1 was all about the day leading up to our Afternoon Tea at the Posh London Hotel. At last we've reached the main event.

Arriving at the hotel for tea, Lola II identified our booking and indicated to the maitre d' that this scruffy person she had brought wearing shorts and trainers would be changing into more appropriate clothing. "What is the problem?" challenged the maitre d'. "You don't have to change, it will be perfectly fine. I say so, and I am in charge, so that's all." Walking to our table I saw other customers in shorts, so my smart but hot work trousers and Lady Shoes had a lovely day out but stayed in my bag throughout. 

We declined the champagne option on arrival in favour of tap water (neither of us likes champagne), and studied the menu of fifty different teas. A waitress introduced herself, and talked to us rather more than I am used to. We hadn't quite decided on drinks so she insisted that we should let her know when we were ready. We carried on chatting and looking at the menu, as one does, and the maitre d' was the next to arrive. "Have you decided on something adventurous to drink?" he asked. I went for a caffeine-free mint tea that was slightly interesting, but Lola II opted for decaff breakfast tea. We were clearly not very adventurous at all. He seemed disappointed.

The chatty waitress turned up too late to help us order drinks, but before we were quite ready for sandwiches. We assured her that we would let her know when we were ready. When Lola II had made our booking she had forgotten to indicate that I don't eat meat, so she had mentioned this to the maitre d' when we arrived, and he was the one to bring the sandwiches. Mine were introduced, and didn't seem to contain egg or cheese, so I asked whether they were in fact vegan. "Vegetarian and vegan," the waiter said. "So, vegan?" I asked. "Both - vegetarian and vegan," he repeated. "So, vegan?" I said again. We went round a few times before he offered to bring me the ordinary sandwiches that didn't contain meat but did include cheese and egg. "You can have anything you want," he admonished us. "Anything at all, just ask."

Lola II's foray into the sandwiches containing avocado and crab did not go well. The avocado sandwich contained two of the little nubbins that are the remains of the avocado stalk, and the crab sandwich contained a little piece of shell. When the maitre d' came back to take our empty plates, Lola II pointed this out. He was horrified. "This is unacceptable," he declared. "I am so sorry. It's terrible! What can I do to make it up to you?" Lola II assured him that it was fine, but she thought he ought to know. "Absolutely right," he said. "I need to make sure that this will never happen again. I will be talking to the chef, and the hotel executive. We will have a meeting tomorrow." He took the plates away to our protestations that it was quite all right, nobody died, just a bit of shell in a sandwich...

The chatty waitress returned. We were not ready. We promised faithfully to let her know when we were ready for scones. The maitre d' brought the scones, and apologised again for the terrible and shameful problem with the sandwiches. He was acting as though the next day that chef would be taken out and shot, or maybe would be advised to kill himself for the honour of the hotel. "Do you like champagne?" he asked - no, we don't. "Well, what can I bring you? Remember, you can have anything at all." 

We were already quite full and aware that there was much more to eat, but he seemed so eager that after a second or two, Lola II asked "Do you have any lime cordial?" "We do," he replied, rightly suspicious that she should have doubted this in a hotel of such quality. I knew what was coming next, and was amused that he might be imagining a request for some brand of superior gin or vodka. As I expected, Lola II followed up with "Could I have lime cordial with tap water, please?" 

I had just as much trouble thinking of a drink for myself. I would probably have been happy with the same as Lola II, but he seemed so keen that I managed to come up with the idea of ginger beer.

The maitre d' brought our drinks, and stayed for a chat - the staff of this hotel seemed to love 'getting to know' [bothering] their customers, especially those who are clearly not used to the high life, with their shorts and trainers, their lime cordial and ginger beer, and their shunning of champagne in favour of tap water. He told us all about where he lived in London, and how there was a protester at the top of a crane with a Palestinian flag, and how they had closed the road. "It's in all the papers," he said. He showed it to us on his phone. Lola II was very impressed to notice that he sanitized his hands after he'd put his phone away. 

We had a plain and a fruit scone each with strawberry and rhubarb jam and clotted cream. [I'm sure Lola II would like me to point out that in the picture above, the tea cups are not patterned but mirrored, and reflect the pattern of the plates in a very pleasing way.] The waitress came back and cleared away when we were done, and begged us to let her know when we were ready for the sweet course. We assured her that we would. She brought the trolley over, and set up our cake stand anyway.

We'd noticed that at other tables the last cake was sometimes brought with a candle or sparkler. As she brought ours, the chatty waitress had a question. "On your booking form you put that this is a celebration, but you didn't say what kind," she said. "Are you celebrating something?" [Lola II said afterwards that she had ticked the 'celebration' box on the booking form and then changed her mind about it, but it seems the partial information had made it through.] I smiled at the chatty waitress. "It's to celebrate my divorce," I said. 

I don't think this is quite the sort of celebration she is used to, but she coped quite well. She had a moment's uncertainty until she saw that both of us were smiling, so she decided to make a number of assumptions and give me some advice. "Now you can travel! You can go wherever you like!" This seemed to be her main preoccupation, and she mentioned it again later on, as well as encouraging me to "Enjoy the new phase of your life!" when we were leaving. We didn't get a candle or a sparkler though. We assured her we would call her if we needed anything more.

Let me introduce another character in our day's drama: Kevin the Pianist. [Full disclosure: Kevin actually entered the story much earlier on but for the sake of the narrative flow he has had to wait until now.] The maitre d' told us about Kevin, whom he'd known for 10 years, and who was so accomplished that in all that time there had never been a tune that Kevin hadn't been able to play. Even if he didn't know the song, he would just have a listen on YouTube and then play it anyway.

Kevin seemed to have formed an uncanny psychic connection to Lola II's music collection. Billy Joel, Elton John, Take That, songs from the musicals - he played them all while we polished off most of the sandwiches and the scones and the soft drinks. Occasionally he took a break and visited tables where he spent so much time we thought he must know the guests. Until he came to our table, and tried so persistently to maintain a conversation that we thought he would never go away. Even Lola II eventually stopped making eye contact, and she LIKES people. Anyway, he played the Ed Sheeran song that Lola II suggested, so that was nice.

We were definitely slowing down by the time the sweet course came. Eight delicious little portions of sweet things plus the cake without the sparkler proved too much, and we had to ask for a bag to take half of it away. [This is where the choux pastry with apricot and pistachio that I mentioned in the last blog post appeared. Lola judged it the best of the sweets.] Lola II managed a coffee but I couldn't even fit in any more to drink. 

Normally they give you 1 hour 45 minutes for an afternoon tea reservation, but it wasn't busy and the maitre d' told us we wouldn't have to move on until we were ready, so we didn't have to hurry. As we leaned back and rested our bloated stomachs, thinking about what to do next, our best friend the maitre d' came over for another chat. "What are your plans for the evening?" he asked. "I hear you are celebrating!" We said we were thinking about it. "Why don't you go to Kerridge's bar? It's only next door!" This was clearly a ridiculous suggestion. "We are so full that we can hardly move and you  already know we don't drink alcohol - why would we conceivably want to go to a bar?" we replied. "Mocktails?" he suggested. "Not going to happen," we said. [With minimal further research it turns out that this Kerridge's Bar & Grill is 'our restaurant at Corinthia London' - so not an unbiased suggestion...]

What we actually decided to do was to see a film - for Lola II, it was her first foray back into a cinema since the first lockdown. The Empire Haymarket was deserted, and we were told that we were the only patrons in the 5.15 p.m. screening of Cruella (a prequel to 101 Dalmatians). We were joined by two other people in the end, but it still felt very exclusive. [It is quite a good film, but could have done with being about 15 minutes shorter.] It was still very warm when we came out and made our way back to the tube via Ole & Steen, where Lola II bought a pastry for herself for the next day, and another for Mr M - it's traditional to buy gifts such as Tim Tams and pastries when you've been away on holiday, and that's how it felt for Lola II after so long without travelling into London.

I hadn't had any breakfast that day, and obviously couldn't manage any supper, although I nibbled at the little sweets we'd brought back. No breakfast next morning, and even back home I couldn't manage another meal until the evening. And so ends the Long Version of our Grand Day Out in That London.

Lime cordial and ginger beer