Old, but not that old

Ilford Hospital Chapel, September 2026

I recently wrote about the 60+ Oyster card as the second benefit I've received for staying alive this long - I completely forgot about the wonderful Royal Spa Centre who sold me cheap tickets and gave me very seventh film free with my loyalty card for some time. Sadly that venue is not immediately available to me any longer, but I was reminded of the benefit of being old-but-not-that-old by joining a 'Senior Screening' at the Forest cinema in Walthamstow, where they advertise tea and a biscuit included with the show on Tuesday mornings for only £3.45.

Sure enough the tea and biscuits were readily available in self-service style in the foyer, and other Seniors were sitting chatting at tables nearby. One gentleman advised me that in South Woodford the Senior screening was only £2, and we continued to talk about movies for a little while. In the auditorium I smiled when the first advert after the 'Senior Screening' banner was for recruitment into the Armed Forces.

Mum and I managed to complete another job, which was to select the pictures to adorn the walls at Maternal Manor. There were many that remained through inaction - mum didn't like them but preferred something rather than a blank space, and she enjoyed having them replaced with pictures connected with the family. We'll live with our choices for a bit and then review them to see if we'd rather swap things around. I like it.

London's Open House Festival provided two more places for me to visit in the boroughs of Redbridge and Havering. Ilford Hospital Chapel (or more accurately The Hospital Chapel of St Mary the Virgin and St Thomas of Canterbury) remains tucked away in the centre of the urban thoroughfare of Ilford town centre, and its foundations date back to the 11th century. Much has been done to it since then, quite a bit by the Victorians, but it still has original features and some newer stained glass, and it was interesting to talk to the volunteers. Like Eastbury Manor House last weekend, it would originally have been surrounded by fields as far as the eye could see, and now is completely hemmed in.

The second place I went to see was Bower House in Havering, which was built in 1729. It caught my attention for an unusual reason - I was certain that in 1982, when Ford Motor Co sponsored me for a year before university, the first thing they did was to send me and all the other sponsored students for a residential induction course here. Sure enough, the leaflet outlining the history of the building said "In 1970 the site was acquired by the Ford Motor Company as a training centre." I wondered if I might remember some aspect of the house, but it has been changed around a great deal in 44 years, as one might expect, so nothing was at all familiar.

Since 2005 it has belonged to Amana Trust which is a charity that "endeavours to help believers to grow in the Christian faith both personally and in groups through events and trainings." Many young trainees were on hand to talk about the features of the various rooms, few of which were original but had been salvaged from other buildings, like the main fireplace and the oak panelling and architraves over the doors. The original mahogany staircase and sepia chiaroscuro trompe l'oeil paintings on the walls of the stairwell are usually covered by curtains but had been revealed for our benefit, and are the reason that the building is listed Grade I.

I am about to depart for a long offline solitary retreat (by the time this goes live I will already have started) so I'm trying to tie up the ends of jobs that are under way. Other stuff will have to wait. I have managed to clear all the boxes in the kitchen and most of the boxes in the garage, but the down side of this is that all the boxes still waiting for collection or disposal are now being stored in the Salon (my room downstairs), awaiting my attention at the end of the retreat. But I'd say we're now 80% of the way to having everything organised and in its place.

Bower House, September 2026

Trips here and there

Jephson Gardens, Leamington, June 2026

What with all the moving house and everything we lost momentum on the organisation of our annual ski trip. I'd been working with JW and JD for a while, choosing from a selection of dates, countries, resorts and accommodation types. We found a moment to revive the project, and now we are booked into a self-catering apartment in Ischgl, Austria at the beginning of February next year. One job crossed off my list. Except that now I have to work out how to get there and back.

Mum was slightly appalled by the length of my list of jobs, but it's the only way I can get through without forgetting important things. For example I am reminded of the need to keep chasing things like insurance renewal and quotes for work on the kitchen as well as keeping track of the refunds I'm owed for council tax, utilities and broadband. And the rest.

Recent trips out with mum: two, one to her friend who has been having treatment for cancer and then on to Lidl, and another trip to get ericaceous compost for the heather plant she bought on the first trip. While Lola II is away on holiday she has also given mum the responsibility for caring for a plant that needs a strict regime of 14 hours in darkness, so mum's green fingers are glowing emerald.

Meanwhile I took myself off to Mr M and Lola II for a very short break, since they were in the midst of preparing to go on the holiday mentioned above. I helped Lola II focus on clearing her room while she helped me focus on photographing the contents of six boxes of kitchen stuff that we offered to the rest of the family so that whatever is unwanted can finally leave the premises. [I estimate that mum and I are about three-quarters of the way through the process of merging the two households.] Then we entertained ourselves with a real treat - Lola II's new Spirograph kit, which she intends to lend to friends who have a similar nostalgic attachment to this amazing toy.

Back home, and my first session with my new Personal Trainer, Muscles 2. The sessions take place in a gym, and he must have thought I was joking when I said I wasn't going to do anything without my music on, because that stipulation was completely ignored and I had to endure the din that was being broadcast throughout the gym. As a first 'get to know each other' session it was OK - he worked me a bit too hard on the shoulders which are now quite sore, but the real issue is the music! I've paid up front for five sessions, but I'm also considering exploring other options.

Another trip out in between contemplating storage jars and two households' combined cutlery collection was to Tate Britain to meet a Buddhist friend who comes from Croydon. I'm sure I haven't visited Tate Britain since I was a child, and maybe not even then. My friend is a member so presumably knows the place quite well, but we wandered randomly from room to room, and sometimes a new room felt like a whole new realm as we switched from Pre-Raphaelite to some strange and modern installation then back to the nineteenth century and then to Henry Moore. They don't half have a lot of Turner.

Decorator Dave came to quote for redecoration of the kitchen, the insurance job that keeps on giving. I liked him and would like to give him the job, but I wonder if this is just the hope that comes with novelty and he will eventually become difficult to get hold of and pin down for a date just like all the others.

Lastly (for now) I visited Eastbury Manor House as part of London's Open House Festival, which "opens up and celebrates the city’s architecture, special sites and neighbourhoods." The added bonus is that the normal admission price is not charged. It's a Grade I listed 16th century manor house that once stood alone between Barking and Rainham surrounded by farmland right down to the Thames. It was very nearly demolished before World War I and has managed to retain just the gardens around it - otherwise it's now completely surrounded by housing. I joined a tour led by the Curator who described the work that's been done recently and what's planned, so I'd be interested in going back again next year when the gardens might be little more developed.

What I've been reading

The Well of Loneliness
by Radclyffe Hall

narrated by Cecilia Fage

"Stephen Gordon (named by a father desperate for a son) is not like other girls: she hunts, she fences, she reads books, wears trousers, and longs to cut her hair. As she grows up amidst the stifling grandeur of Morton Hall, the locals begin to draw away from her, aware of some indefinable thing that sets her apart."

A story that revolves around the lives of gay people, named 'Inverts' in the text, just over a hundred years ago. They were treated very badly in society but managed a bit better by banding together, and yet the final act of the story is that Stephen has to force her lover Mary to leave her so that Mary has a chance of a happy life. It's all a bit depressing, but interesting, and well written and narrated.

The Nightingale
by Kristin Hannah

"France, 1939. In the quiet village of Carriveau, Vianne says goodbye to her husband, Antoine, as he heads for the Front. Vianne's sister, Isabelle, is a rebellious eighteen-year-old girl, searching for purpose with all the reckless passion of youth."

It was a good book but very graphic in its recounting of the conditions of occupation and resistance in Second World War France. I wouldn't read it again, so it is the first on the shelf at Maternal Manor of books to be given away.

Ten Things I Love About You
by Julia Quinn

"Annabel Winslow, a country girl through and through, has received an offer to go to London for the season. The eldest of a family of eight, she knows that a good marriage might be the only thing that will save her family from ruin."

I picked this up as something easy to read while all the house removal was going on, and it was a perfect choice. Regency romance with straightforward characters having a lovely time, enter the villain who gets his comeuppance in an unpredictable way and all ends delightfully. It's now second on the shelf of books to be given away.

Kitchen Confidential
by Anthony Bourdain

"From his first oyster in the Gironde to his lowly position as a dishwasher in a honky-tonk fish restaurant in Provincetown; from the kitchen of the Rainbow Room atop the Rockefeller Center to drug dealers in the East Village, from Tokyo to Paris and back to New York again, Bourdain's tales of the kitchen are as passionate as they are unpredictable, as shocking as they are funny. "

After I went to the recent screening of a film about his early career, I thought I'd re-read his first memoir which covers that time and much more. He writes well, and I first read it at a time when there weren't wall-to-wall TV programmes about chefs and restaurants and the catering trade, so a glimpse into this strange world was relatively new. Now I just hope that kitchens are no longer run in the way that he describes them back then: a crucible of bullying, drug abuse, overwork, misogyny and racism. I am also continuing to fulfil my obsessive need to get rid of everything I own because it too has been consigned to the shelf of books that will be given away.

Black Tag
by Simon Mayo

"When the West End Gallery in London's fashionable Coal Drops Yard is set alight, the fire service must use the list of paintings lodged with it - a grab list - to snatch the key pieces of art from the flames."

I picked this up from the library on impulse because I'm a big fan of Simon Mayo as a broadcaster ever since I was a teenager and he was on Capital Radio, and wondered what sort of author he is. Luckily he's a good one and it's a thrilling and suspenseful read, to the extent that I stayed up much, much too late to get to the end. That said, it's not without its flaws - it's about 10% too complicated, but that may be because I know nothing about art, journalism, far right politics and its opponents.

John and Paul: A Love Story in Songs
by Ian Leslie

"At the centre of The Beatles was the volatile, madly creative chemistry between John Lennon and Paul McCartney. This is the story of how two young men merged their souls and multiplied their talents to produce one of the greatest bodies of music in history."

I was slightly hesitant about reading this. On one hand I've wanted to read it ever since it came out; on the other hand the last time I immersed myself in the world of the Beatles I came a bit unstuck - somewhat overemotional and tearful. This time I've been fine, and it was a particularly wonderful experience because he writes their story using the songs they wrote, both together and separately, and I could listen to the music as it was being described. The author picked out meaningful lyrics and included information about how, where and when the songs were written and recorded, as well what was going on at the time. I'm just in awe of their talent and creativity.

Settling in to my new life

Jephson Memorial in Jephson Gardens, Leamington, June 2026

Alongside the search for a badminton club and a Buddhist group I started the hunt for a new Personal Trainer to replace Muscles (although I can't imagine anyone better). The nearest gym is a short walk away, so I dropped in to see if it would do, and have been put in touch with someone who takes as much time as I do to respond to text messages. Eventually I met him, he seems OK, and we've set up a few sessions to see if we get along.

I had to go back to Leamington because of a periodontist appointment that I couldn't move. I thought I might as well make best use of the day so I had a training session with Muscles as well as having a repeat blood test. I actually had a blood test before I moved away, but there was a 'lab error' so it's lucky I've had the opportunity for a repeat - if they mess it up this time I'll have to start again with a new local GP. I also tried to give mum's old VHS video player to Leamington's recycle warehouse, but there was a sign saying they couldn't take any more donations at the moment. I met Nameless Man for a cup of tea and mentioned the video player, and he took it for the Library of Things. Result!

Mum and I have started on the kitchen, weeding out all sorts of things that haven't seen the light of day for years, and hopefully putting more of the things she uses within her reach. There is so much that is no longer needed, both of mine and hers. Her friend came round and helpfully took away one or two things, and the family WhatsApp group means that some of the rest will find a new home, but I anticipate a new kitchen section in the local charity shop. I have promised mum that I will clear the boxes in the kitchen by the time I go away... because I have taken advantage of the certainty of having moved to book a whole lot of retreats and volunteering activity up to the end of the year. Then I will need to calm down and spend more time actually living here.

At various times this week we hosted Lola II, Mr M and Sister D who assisted with more unpacking and helpfully took various items away with them. The saga of the cooker continues - I think I wrote about the broken knob and the unsatisfactory replacements, but the next thing has been that the gas ignition spark failed, and mum thought that it needed a battery that is no longer available. I persuaded her to consider a new cooker, and went as far as investigating where we might get one second-hand (a brand new one seeming unnecessary). Then I actually looked at the battery (which was a standard size), took it out and put it in again and the spark is back. I still think a replacement would be an improvement to our quality of life, but that will have to wait until I have a bit more time to spend on it.

It's taken a couple of weeks but I've now applied for my 60+ Oyster card, which is the same as the Freedom Pass but funded by Transport for London rather than the London borough I live in. So I'll be getting free trains and buses (and trams etc) in London, which is the second big benefit I've attained simply by remaining alive, the first being my Senior Railcard. I went back to the library to make sure I understand how it works - the building is so small that they encourage you to reserve books you want to read rather than expecting to find them on the shelves. I also enquired about borrowing an OS map, which was promptly ordered for me, and then I made the classic error of not simply leaving the library without looking around. So I've borrowed two books, as if I didn't have loads already on my shelves waiting to be read.

This last weekend brought my first retreat with my new Buddhist Group, who started holding a Camping retreat when they couldn't meet any other way because of Covid. The tradition has continued, and there were nearly 30 of us in a field in Essex, meditating and chatting and generally doing Buddhism together, and it was very lovely and people were splendid. It's also been my only camping trip this year, which is very unusual.