Old, but not that old

Ilford Hospital Chapel, September 2026

I recently wrote about the 60+ Oyster card as the second benefit I've received for staying alive this long - I completely forgot about the wonderful Royal Spa Centre who sold me cheap tickets and gave me very seventh film free with my loyalty card for some time. Sadly that venue is not immediately available to me any longer, but I was reminded of the benefit of being old-but-not-that-old by joining a 'Senior Screening' at the Forest cinema in Walthamstow, where they advertise tea and a biscuit included with the show on Tuesday mornings for only £3.45.

Sure enough the tea and biscuits were readily available in self-service style in the foyer, and other Seniors were sitting chatting at tables nearby. One gentleman advised me that in South Woodford the Senior screening was only £2, and we continued to talk about movies for a little while. In the auditorium I smiled when the first advert after the 'Senior Screening' banner was for recruitment into the Armed Forces.

Mum and I managed to complete another job, which was to select the pictures to adorn the walls at Maternal Manor. There were many that remained through inaction - mum didn't like them but preferred something rather than a blank space, and she enjoyed having them replaced with pictures connected with the family. We'll live with our choices for a bit and then review them to see if we'd rather swap things around. I like it.

London's Open House Festival provided two more places for me to visit in the boroughs of Redbridge and Havering. Ilford Hospital Chapel (or more accurately The Hospital Chapel of St Mary the Virgin and St Thomas of Canterbury) remains tucked away in the centre of the urban thoroughfare of Ilford town centre, and its foundations date back to the 11th century. Much has been done to it since then, quite a bit by the Victorians, but it still has original features and some newer stained glass, and it was interesting to talk to the volunteers. Like Eastbury Manor House last weekend, it would originally have been surrounded by fields as far as the eye could see, and now is completely hemmed in.

The second place I went to see was Bower House in Havering, which was built in 1729. It caught my attention for an unusual reason - I was certain that in 1982, when Ford Motor Co sponsored me for a year before university, the first thing they did was to send me and all the other sponsored students for a residential induction course here. Sure enough, the leaflet outlining the history of the building said "In 1970 the site was acquired by the Ford Motor Company as a training centre." I wondered if I might remember some aspect of the house, but it has been changed around a great deal in 44 years, as one might expect, so nothing was at all familiar.

Since 2005 it has belonged to Amana Trust which is a charity that "endeavours to help believers to grow in the Christian faith both personally and in groups through events and trainings." Many young trainees were on hand to talk about the features of the various rooms, few of which were original but had been salvaged from other buildings, like the main fireplace and the oak panelling and architraves over the doors. The original mahogany staircase and sepia chiaroscuro trompe l'oeil paintings on the walls of the stairwell are usually covered by curtains but had been revealed for our benefit, and are the reason that the building is listed Grade I.

I am about to depart for a long offline solitary retreat (by the time this goes live I will already have started) so I'm trying to tie up the ends of jobs that are under way. Other stuff will have to wait. I have managed to clear all the boxes in the kitchen and most of the boxes in the garage, but the down side of this is that all the boxes still waiting for collection or disposal are now being stored in the Salon (my room downstairs), awaiting my attention at the end of the retreat. But I'd say we're now 80% of the way to having everything organised and in its place.

Unpacking

May 2026

The box emptying continues, along with whittling down our joint possessions to something more manageable. My email is full to the brim with admin relating to both a change of address and transferring the bills to my name. It doesn't feel possible that I moved in only a week ago.

I have finally found a 'normal' badminton club, in Epping. When I was growing up here it is peculiar that we didn't travel in that direction - music school and most of my friends and the synagogue were south east, into London by tube was south west, and we might go up the M11 to Harlow or Cambridge, or maybe to High Beech where we picked blackberries and climbed trees. But Epping, Ongar, Abridge and the rest of Essex might as well have been on the moon, even though they are just as easy to get to as Ilford, Romford, Stratford and Walthamstow. I am learning fast about the geography of Essex and find it to be nicer than our adjacent London boroughs. But that is because I can drive. Public transport will take me much more efficiently into London than to the villages and towns of Essex.

In between unpacking and doing the admin I continue to frequent the local cinemas, mainly the Odeon in South Woodford for standard fare and the Forest Cinema in Walthamstow for more esoteric choices. This week I went to the Forest for the film about the chef Anthony Bourdain, then the Odeon for straight up dinosaur excitement. Mum has been preoccupied with gardeners - now that she can't look after the garden personally she has entrusted it to a variety of different folk, who for various reasons have not been satisfactory. She interviewed another one this week. I am keeping my head down on this one.

My school friend (who now lives in Nottingham) was my very first visitor at Maternal Manor. I'll have to give him some sort of pseudonym, which I have managed to avoid so far - he will henceforth be known as Doc, which is his moniker on any public-facing internet platform because he is an educator and doesn't want to be visible to his students. His sister lives round the corner where my infants and junior schools are, and she was looking after their mother until her death in July. 

His career has taken him all over the world, including long spells working in China, Indonesia and Malaysia, and his strong opinion, often stated, used to be that he could never set up a home outside London. Then he had to move to Nottingham and discovered, like the rest of us, that London has its pros but also very much its cons, and he now appreciates the provincial life. But his sister has many children and grandchildren and he has a strong connection to his family (he and his wife, Ms S, have no children) so he'll probably be in my neighbourhood quite a bit.

Lola II visited specifically to give me a hand with the unpacking, at which she performed excellently and was very welcome. She came up with ideas for where to put things, did some filing for me, entertained mum, and generally fulfilled her other designated role of 'responsible for morale'.

As a break from unpacking duties I spent Friday in London. The plan was to visit the V&A (it doesn't seem to be called the Victoria and Albert Museum any more) and then attend a Proms concert at the Albert Hall. But the free guided tour of the V&A was cancelled and after looking at the rooms containing Buddhist art I really couldn't raise enough enthusiasm for the rest of it. On the other hand, the Proms concert was terrific. I was given a free upgrade from a seat in the top circle to a box, and I really enjoyed the music - it was a Dutch-Turkish psychedelic folk-rock band backed by the BBC Symphony Orchestra. Not everyone's cup of tea perhaps, but I loved it.

Farewell Lola Towers

The wonderful and perfect Lola Towers, August 2026

Before I left there were a succession of 'last times' - with the local Buddhist group, the Birmingham Buddhists and many other friends. My last U3A walk opportunity was cancelled due to the heat, and my last U3A board games opportunity was also cancelled due to the two leaders being busy elsewhere. I did manage to have lunch with UJ, who has just returned from Ukraine where she has spent most of her time since moving out about 9 months ago. She has persuaded her parents to apply for visas at last now that conditions at home are so much worse, and they may look for a place in Leamington.

Removal was delayed by a day, and while I thought this would give me some time to have a break I really did need that day for organising. I labelled everything with its destination room, sorted out all the keys (and only found two that I don't think belong to anything), separated out and labelled the things I didn't want them to take (like cleaning gear), and the things I agreed to leave for the new occupants. 

Then the team arrived bright and early, with boxes and tape and paper and bubble wrap, saw how organised everything was and asked me if I had a military background. Four of them took three and a half hours to pack and load everything I own into their truck, which also included disassembling a wardrobe and my desk right down to component parts. They went off and I took a break to have lunch then started cleaning, which took me four hours. When I was ready to go it turned out to be surprisingly easy to leave the house behind, and I arrived at Maternal Manor too tired to unload the car. I went to bed early, but couldn't sleep until the early hours, even though I was physically exhausted.

Next morning the truck arrived at Maternal Manor with just two of the removal men, one of whom was tasked with the unenviable job of reassembling the wardrobe and the desk that he'd reduced to matchsticks the previous day. He didn't do too badly; only a few unimportant pieces left over although one of the shelves in the wardrobe is the wrong way round which will bug me forever.

Now mum and I are completely surrounded by boxes, and it will take quite a while to get everything out and in its proper place. We spent an entire morning sorting through the towels and bedding to decide what to keep from our joint collections. The item that always causes the most grief - my wireless printer - proved impossible to connect until I noticed that mum's printer cable could be used to set it up wirelessly via a USB cable, which sounds counterintuitive but I followed the instructions and it worked beautifully. It can't have been too bad a move if the worst thing so far is the stupid printer.

So that's that, the end of an era - more than 25 years in Leamington and I'm now a Londoner again, back living in the road where I lived throughout my school days.

Nearly there

Another from the Escher exhibition, London, August 2026

I had to sign some stuff in person with a witness and so did Lola II, but at last I was notified that the Compliance Department had given me the all clear and it was safe to exchange contracts with an agreed completion date. When exchange actually happened I was temporarily overcome with grief. This is actually going ahead, and after nearly 25 years I'm going to have to hand over to someone else my beautiful and perfect house, in its wonderful location, and move away. I can't take it back now.

Notifying institutions and changing addresses takes a surprisingly long time, and some accounts are very much easier to change than others. My broadband supplier was the least reasonable; car insurance costs more where I'm going; TV licensing have already worked out my refund. I've done about half the work on this. I've also been in touch with a few people that I'd like to meet before I go.

Maternal Manor is prepared for removals day as best it can be; all excess furniture has now left the premises and we've done quite a lot to clear cupboards and drawers. We haven't touched the kitchen yet - that will be a job for the first month after I move in and is likely to be challenging due to the amount of stuff I have and the kitchen already being full of mum's stuff. Then I went off to play badminton with the Oldsters, only to find that I got the day wrong and the hall was full of girls in leotards doing gymnastics. I have continued my search for a 'normal' badminton club and have one lined up for September that looks good.

In the middle of this there was an interlude at a party thrown by Lola II and Mr M, called Desert Island Desserts, where desserts were served that had been identified by guests as the one they would choose for their desert island (if they could only keep one). The desserts were delicious but my state of mind wasn't robust enough for the number of people and the amount of social chitchat required, so I had to take frequent breaks away from the throng.

Back home then, and back to the task in hand, trying to rid the house of even more unnecessary household items. A breakthrough came when someone agreed to take all the ring binders, lever arch files and plastic pockets that I have liberated from all my university and dietetic notes in the loft, and there are A LOT of them. I must remember to keep just a couple because I never want to have to buy any ever again. 

The annual national bowling competition began and I realised that I hadn't received my resident's pass to get me through security at the end of the road. They are saving money by employing volunteers instead of a security company, and the volunteers are so much stricter than the professionals were. They gave me a hard time about not having a pass but eventually agreed to arrange one for me, then challenged the man from the removal company who came to give me a quote, and wouldn't let my friend through at all when he came with his dog to go for a walk with me. The pass hadn't arrived by late afternoon so I wandered over to ask again, only to find that one of the security volunteers was my ex-boss from the Dietetics department at the hospital.

I have been surprised by my excitement at the partial solar eclipse. I think I have missed all previous opportunities to witness a solar eclipse, either because it was cloudy, I was otherwise engaged, in the wrong part of the world or who knows what. But I made a makeshift viewer out of a shoe box and had a good time projecting the image through a pinhole onto my wall.

The end of the week brought the British Heart Foundation van to collect some of the larger items of furniture that aren't going with me. They rejected a few things that I then took to the recycling shop at the tip. In the evening someone who described himself as a 'forager and chef' came to take away my fridge/freezer. When I retrieved all the documentation for it I discovered that it was bought in July 2000 - 26 years ago, and apart from cracks in a couple of the shelves it was still working perfectly. Then a local couple came to take the television and sound bar, which was quite a challenge. I had kept the box and the instructions but it was much heavier and more unwieldy than it looked and took three of us more than an hour to package it all up - they needed to make two trips. 

Just one more week now.

Birthday trip... and house move

Oxford, July 2026

It was my birthday at the end of July, and although I intended to spend it free of house-related activity, it wasn't quite possible in the end because of having to respond to enquiries about my listings of things for sale. But apart from this, I had a lovely day in Oxford, starting at the Weston Library for their exhibitions, then meeting Lola II and Mr M before we went to the Ashmolean Museum for a posh lunch on their rooftop restaurant. Well, it was mostly posh, but Lola II had secretly arranged with the waiter to provide a plate of special sandwiches. It was very confusing, but the waiter was impressed when I expressed my delight at Lola II's icing sandwiches - a taste of the distant past. There wasn't time for looking round the museum after lunch but it looked interesting and we're not sure why we haven't been there before, so perhaps on our next visit Lola II and I will spend more time there. It was interesting to reflect that on that next visit we'll both be coming from London.

Back to the matter in hand - someone came from a removals company to look round and quote, then that same evening I sold the huge TV and sound bar and also the chest of drawers. This was a relief because I'm happy to give everything else away, or have it taken away by the Council or the British Heart Foundation. Then I had the idea of offering the remaining furniture to the local LETS trading group, and some of them are interested, so I've been busy sending photos and making arrangements for viewings.

I headed off down to Maternal Manor with another car load of stuff. The original plan was to stay for another fortnight, but there's too much to do back home. I want another removals company to quote, but I still don't have an exchange date, and my solicitor keeps asking for more and more evidence that I'm not a money launderer - proof of this, statements of that. My buyers have completed on their sale so are now homeless with their goods in storage, so I started to feel confident enough to tackle the remaining large items of furniture. Unfortunately, the first date that Warwickshire District Council can come and take the huge sofa is after we hope to have completed, and Warks County Council suddenly suspended fridge and freezer collections at recycling centres. Luckily my buyers have agreed to help with this - obviously they don't want this to delay their move.

Somerset House, London, August 2026

I've been writing 'The Book of the House', a long document with all the details that someone might find useful when first encountering Lola Towers. Where the water stopcock is, the knack needed for locking the front door, why the catch on the hall door is upside down, where the light switch for the third bedroom is, that sort of thing. And at Maternal Manor we've made progress too - a local charity came and took away a surplus bed and chest of drawers, and we have put a chair outside in the hope that someone will want it and come and take it away. And we continue to investigate cupboards and drawers that haven't been looked in for many years.

I can't describe how glad I was when Sister D sat down to help me to plot out the history of Maternal Manor - when it was bought, how much was paid, how rent was set, what improvements were made and when and how much they cost. It has a very complicated timeline which makes my current process of compliance with anti-money laundering regulations look like a walk in the park. I shall need an accountant, but Sister D's work will make a huge difference. "I used to do this all the time," she announced breezily when I complained about how enormously difficult it all was, "and this isn't the worst by any means."

And I had a day out in London when I went with Lola II to see the M. C. Escher exhibition in Somerset House. When we were growing up there was a book on the shelf containing many of his drawings, including the famous ones with the tessellated creatures, the reflecting balls, the impossible waterfall and the everlasting staircase. We still have a print on the wall that dad made by photographing one of the pictures, projecting it onto a piece of paper then tracing and colouring it. Breach of copyright, probably. They had a few other examples of optical illusions in real life - well, we couldn't help ourselves, we have to try this sort of thing.

Escher exhibition, Somerset House, London, August 2026

Not much except the house move

Adhisthana, May 2026

After the sisterly trip I was looking forward to volunteering at the Warwick Folk Festival again. On Tuesday after a walk with a friend I squeezed in a few hours helping them set up the Radio Room, but although I thought I might be able to help out again on Wednesday, I found that much more of my conscious attention was needed by the house moving that I had anticipated or planned for.

My buyers contacted me to give me an updated schedule for their sale, and explicitly asked if we could tie in our completion date with theirs. So I had to be just as clear in saying that we don't yet have an exchange date and I would need up to four weeks between exchange and completion, so they should plan their move on that basis and I would go as quickly as I could. I had already left a message for my solicitor to make sure there was nothing outstanding.

While the solicitors had previously seemed responsive, it turns out that they did still need to be chased. When they came back to me I found out that a restriction had found its way into the Land Register entry stipulating that I wasn't allowed to sell without endorsement by a second person. Even more strangely, this stipulation could be satisfied by simply appointing a second person who would then endorse the sale. Step forward Lola II, who then had to engage with the horrible online system, and then we had to go back to the solicitors to challenge it when it started asking her for evidence of her income. That request was quickly withdrawn.

I became so preoccupied with emptying the house that it became difficult to concentrate on anything else - what if the huge sofa wouldn't fit through the doors? what if I couldn't sell the TV before I needed to move? what if... what if? After a couple of shifts in the Radio Room on Thursday and Friday I gave up any attempt to spend time listening to the music at the Festival but came home and sorted things that needed sorting. I got the eBay and other sales platform listings online and live, and then managed to book a collection of the larger furniture and household goods with the British Heart Foundation, which will be in August. This seemed to relieve a whole lot of stress.

The remaining 'big' items that need to be sold rather than given away are a chest of drawers and my humungous television and sound bar. The TV and sound bar are now listed on eBay and local platforms, but I also offered them locally on a film-going WhatsApp group and to the LETS trading people. This is the one thing that there really isn't space for at Maternal Manor, but is worth a few hundred pounds so difficult to reconcile myself to giving it away. Fingers crossed for a buyer before I have to move.

Adhisthana, May 2026

My last shift in Comms at the Folk Festival was very busy for all the wrong reasons. At about 10.30 a.m. a message came in that there had been an explosion and fire in the campsite, which turned out to be a gas canister that had overheated, and there were people who had been injured. The fire was put out very promptly by campers in the vicinity, which was a huge relief because the whole campsite was dry as tinder and with quite a brisk breeze it could have been terrible. The Comms team was the main point of contact for medics and external services like the fire engine and ambulances, security, health and safety, and the festival directors. An air ambulance also turned up and landed, but in the end it wasn't needed for transporting casualties. 

The main difficulty we faced was that the location was about as far as it could have been from the Radio Room, and reception for radio comms was patchy at best and sometimes impossible. Everything else seemed to work quite well and the injured people were taken to hospital quite quickly. It really highlighted something that I'd been aware of for a while: that the whole festival relies on volunteers even at its most critical points, and is balanced on a knife edge - any stress anywhere, whether as drastic as this or just a failure of power or water, or a lost child, or festival goer with difficult behaviour - would be enough to cause a catastrophic situation. We were lucky this time, but being unable to communicate properly via the radios really must be addressed.

Back to the house-selling situation: I had a few messages about the TV and sound bar, but no definite offers. I continued to dispose of things from Lola Towers and Maternal Manor - another trip to Action 21's Reuseful Centre, and I noticed a post from the Library of Things suggesting that they'd be interested in old-fashioned cassette players, of which I have two, and so I took them in. This means that it was also time to get rid of the last few tape cassettes that I held back when I gave away the majority via Facebook. I was about to consign them to landfill when I came across the message from 2½ years ago from the person who took the last lot, so I offered him this lot too and he was delighted to take them!

My solicitor came back asking for evidence of my wealth at the time when I bought the house. I can't imagine anyone keeping bank statements or payslips for 25 years but it's futile to complain, so they are having to make do with my recollection of the situation back then. The next thing was to give them 12 months of bank statements because I'm not in work or receiving benefits or a pension. This is all about anti-money laundering (AML) guidelines, and when I had the temerity to ask how long it would take I was told: "[we] will be unable to exchange until the file is signed off and I would advise that to comply with AML requirements [the Compliance Department's] review will be very thorough." So there.

Meanwhile the couple who are buying the house came round, and seem very nice. We went room by room and I pointed out some of the quirks of the house; they mentioned that they are planning to climb Kilimanjaro at the end of August and would very much like to complete before this. Like a broken record, I told them again that I'm doing all I can to move things forward but I'm not prepared to set a date for completion before we exchange contracts. Mr Celery rang too, and will do what he can. Moving house is definitely becoming a reality, and I'm aware of having to manage with a continuous background level of stress. Hopefully it won't go on too much longer

Wales, June 2026

Second week at Maternal Manor

Valentine's Park, July 2026

This is starting to feel like when I was at uni and I was blogging multiple times a week because there was so much going on. This account starts more than a week ago...

The heatwave continues albeit slightly less intensely with the occasional breeze, and I haven't yet needed to wear socks while I've been at Maternal Manor. I've been working quite hard at tidying, rearranging and organising while trying hard not to leave mum behind. So far I think she still knows where everything is. (Wait until I get started on the kitchen...)

I took myself off to Valentine's Park, which is a 30-minute bus ride away, to do a bit of sightseeing. The Park itself has been tidied up a lot since my day (which was the early 1980's), and they have also renovated the Mansion that the park was named after - a house on an ancient map was named Valentine, presumably after its owner. The current house was built in around 1696 probably on the site of that house, for Elizabeth Tillotson and her family after the death of her husband, the Archbishop of Canterbury.

The house and its garden and the park have changed hands and been redeveloped many times since then, being enlarged and then having bits knocked down as it fell into disrepair, but was finally restored by the Friends of Valentine Mansion who offer guided tours. So I joined one, and found out lots of interesting stuff, and in an ideal world I would have gone round again after the tour to read some of the labels and look more closely at some of the contents. But it was really hot and I was tired by then, so I'll save a second trip for another time.

Then the day finally arrived for filling the trench in the kitchen now that it has dried out after the leaks in the pipes were fixed. Two men arrived (neither of them JC or his previous sidekick), and one proceeded to do all the work while the other just passed things to him. At one point the worker was chiselling adhesive off the floor while the other watched, and when I asked about this they said that they only had one chisel. So I loaned them another.

They managed to save four whole tiles of the original colour, and we had three that mum had bought some time ago that were only slightly different, and I had bought twenty-two contrasting tiles - nine loose and thirteen in a box - on the understanding that we could return the box but not the loose ones. I spent some time trying to work out the best pattern for using them and in the end we only needed to use nine of the the contrasting tiles, but when I tried to return the box I found that the wretched workers had cracked one, probably by sitting on the box. So now we've got thirteen spare tiles including a broken one. 

When they tried to put the sink back, we discovered that the plumbing had been constructed while the sink unit had been pulled away from the wall (to allow the wall to dry). Moving it back into place meant the sink drain wouldn't line up with the outlet pipe, and the pipes prevented the whole unit from reaching the wall anyway. This means we'll have to go back to the original plumber and try and get him to come and do the job properly. Apart from that, the floor looks all right. Next step - fixing the rest of the water damage to the skirting and walls. And another job for JC, replacing the decaying garden fence.

One of my own jobs I'd been waiting to get to was to go through all the old letters I'd kept, and when the workers were filling the trench and tiling I sat and read all of 1990. This was the year that I was in Australia and corresponding with family and friends in Denmark, Manchester, Israel, London, Spain, China and France. I learned quite a lot about the younger me through these letters, and not all of it very comfortable - there was one whole batch that I left unread.

The letters contained some great passages though, which when read entirely without context suggest a whole untold back story. I present a few extracts here for your entertainment.

Letter to family: "Mario [a fellow kibbutz volunteer] shared a room with the psychopathic triple murderer and was suitably shaken by the newspaper clipping ... Rica [the kibbutz volunteer manager] wrote among other things that the mass murderer isn't the one who was at Ein Gev so I don't know a psychopath after all."

In digs in Sydney: "I love living here ... Even the cockroaches have lessened and now the place has dried out the mouldy smell has gone too."

In Australia's Northern Territory: "It's not like home where if you sit absolutely still for 36 hours with an infra red camera you stand a 1 in 50 chance of seeing a badger - here if you stand still for 30 minutes with a dog you stand a 9 in 10 chance of being attacked by a crocodile."

On a motorbike touring down the west coast of Australia: "Lots of birds of prey everywhere, and I get to watch them for ages when the bike breaks down."

Other things I've been doing while I'm here - obviously there's badminton. I joined the Oldsters for one evening, and they were very nice but the standard was not quite as high as I would like although that did mean I did a lot of winning (which I like). Still more research to be done on the badminton front.

Before I end of course I must provide an update on the house: my solicitor has written to say they have sent the draft contract and all the information in the forms I filled in to the buyers' solicitor. I sent Mr Celery a list of things I'd leave in the house if the buyers want them, and he passed it on to the buyers who have now contacted me directly and we've arranged to meet later in the month. 

Their solicitor cheekily told my solicitor that I'd agreed to complete by the date they were completing on their house; I'd done no such thing so I put them right about that. So it continues, and worries about 'what if' arise in my dreams and wake me early in the morning. But I reassure myself that all will be well, and if it isn't, it soon will be.

It starts to become real

Maybe rhubarb? Or chard? February 2026

It's been a busy few days on the house front. 'Best and final' offers came in, and Mr Celery sent me the emails that each buyer sent with their final offer. One bidder stated their financial position and ended with "Our offer is unchanged" but the other bidder's message was just what was needed: "[the] house and garden are lovely. It’s in a great position, near to the park, river, and town facilities as well as being very private. For central Leamington it is pretty unique and we felt as soon as we saw it that it’s a house we could be happy in." As well as that message they actually increased their offer to the asking price so I've happily accepted it.

I spent a day with mum, and we did some more purging of possessions along with planning which furniture to keep and what to let go, and what colour I might choose for painting 'my' rooms. I took a couple of things up into the loft, and was reminded how much more difficult it is to get things up there compared with my roomy loft and comfortable ladder in Leamington.

The house move is now permeating every thought and action. I had a routine dental appointment, and the dentist happens to be friends with the people who sold me the house 25 years ago, so he was interested in the whole business. The hygienist used to live down the road from Maternal Manor and still has a rental flat there, and the dental assistant is looking for a house in Leamington and brought my listing up on RightMove while I was lying there with my mouth open.

At short notice I booked to go to Birmingham Symphony Hall to see David Sedaris, an American diarist, writer and raconteur who, as well as writing books, reads out his work to an audience (he's been on podcasts and even Radio 4 now). While I was on my way there I tried to instruct the conveyancing solicitor, because I'd managed to complete and send them the stupid form about where I got the money to buy Lola Towers 25 years ago. This didn't work because the two initial forms were just a taster of the horror to come.

There is an app. It requires photos of my passport and utility bills and bank statements to verify my credibility and identity (some of which I've already provided in person at their office). The app also demands every detail of my personal finances over the last 12 months, and I have no choice and it feels horribly intrusive without being softened by a hint of human interaction. 

Then it wants everything else that has been done within the house in the last 25 years, with evidence of planning permission, compliance with building regulation, guarantees, safety certificates, and specification of which carpets, curtain poles, garden furniture, fitted units, kitchen equipment and light fittings I'm taking or leaving in situ. Am I leaving the roof insulation, the boiler, the radiators, the electric sockets? Will I be taking with me the doorbell, door handles, the taps, the bath? Inputting and scanning and uploading all the information required took four solid hours.

The buyer couple is very keen to get a move on because their house sale is further advanced than mine. So they are a) not getting a survey done, b) asking if they can store stuff in the garage in advance of completion (the answer is no) and c) asking if they might move in on a rental basis ahead of completion. I've said I'll think about this last request - if I allow it, it will almost guarantee that the sale will go ahead, but if anything goes wrong then I'm left with sitting tenants. Just writing that down makes me very nervous so I think the answer is no.

So now I need to get a move on in a more focused way - first with mum, carrying on making space for everything, hopefully decorating Maternal Manor sooner rather than after everything is moved in, and here in Leamington shifting all my unnecessary belongings a bit quicker than I have been. No more "I'll have a think about that and deal with it later", now it's "Do I absolutely need it, and if not, out it goes straight away". The loft is already nearly empty except for all my camping gear, old university files (still!) and one or two boxes of stuff I'm not sure what to do with. I need to deal with the contents of the rest of the house much more ruthlessly.

Bites, a photograph, and more bites

Adhisthana, May 2026

I've been on retreat again, hence the long blog silence. It was one of the more intense types of retreat that's for people who've asked for ordination, but I found it a little easier than previously except for the temperature. The building is a bit too small for the number of retreatants (a new, larger centre is being constructed) so it's always useful to be able to go outside, and this can be a little dismal in the normal Welsh weather. So hot weather should have been very welcome, except it brought horseflies which have the most painful and itchiest bite I've ever experienced. After six of those I didn't want to go outside any more. There was insect repellent which I used liberally on the couple of long walks I did, but on one particular day I needed three cold showers and didn't want to keep putting on the repellent in between. None of us packed clothes for two weeks of stifling humid heat, and I dreamed of coming home to pick up cooler shirts.

I came home via Adhisthana, the retreat centre where I do my volunteering; it's on the way, and there were a couple of people I'd arranged to meet there. As an added bonus - and I can't tell you how exciting this is - I had my photo taken. I'd been asked to write a couple of sentences about my experience of volunteering that could go in next year's programme, and they wanted a photo to go with it. One of the community there does all the graphic design and his photographs of people are amazing, so it was thrilling to join that elite group! And he didn't seem to mind that I was a sweaty mess wearing a dirty T-shirt.

Coming home I was looking forward to my cooler house and no horseflies, but the house wasn't that cool and I was immediately devoured by mosquitos. I've been taking my time catching up on what's been going on while I've been away, and there's been another offer on my house. I've had a chat with Mr Celery and we're going to ask both the potential buyers for 'best and final' offers, after which I'll accept one of the two and take it from there.

A bit too much

Just a cow I met, September 2025

At Maternal Manor I started to tackle the water leak issue by contacting Thames Water via their Chat facility to find out how serious the problem is based on the readings from the water meter. After 90 minutes and three different agents who ignored my specific question I was passed to someone new who just gave me the answer I wanted. During the chat I not only took mum out to visit a friend but also went up into the loft to see what was there and how much space there might be - only to discover that there is a distinct noise of trickling water coming from the tank. Lola II nobly volunteered to contact a plumber. The kitchen trench is probably dry enough to be filled in now so there's a whole lot more work involved in getting two quotes for the full kitchen refurbishment so we can go back to the insurer.

I finally did it - I contacted one of the estate agents and started the process of selling Lola Towers.  I spent a full day making the house ready for photos - mowing the lawn, a trip to the tip with the remains of the garden table, putting everything out of sight into cupboards and the garage. It was all tidy enough for photos, but there will need to be a whole lot more cleaning before I'll be happy for people to see it close up. And it was utterly exhausting. 

The estate agent rep (who is very enthusiastic) took photos and measurements, next day someone else did some drone photography, and another person came to complete the Energy Performance Certificate and floor plan. The draft brochure for the house arrived from the estate agent, and while it does look very nice I've got quite a lot of work to do in tidying it up and suggesting different wording for the worst bits. Meanwhile someone else came and took more surplus bricks away, I touched up the paint on the Auditorium walls and the hall ceiling, and I remain exhausted.

A weekend with friends in Nottingham provided some respite, except it meant less time at home for the jobs that remain. A blood donation didn't go well and left me with a very painful arm, and a Buddhist film night at my house was so undersubscribed that I invited Nameless Man (who's not a Buddhist) to join us just to make it worth showing the film. That was probably the last public screening in my Auditorium. And a friend from Ireland came to stay on the way to a retreat. She is in the process of being diagnosed as having coeliac disease and has been pretty ill with it, so it's important that my host duties include keeping her away from gluten. At least that's within my skillset.

It's all a bit much, really. It's to be expected because in April I really cut down on my commitments but in May I didn't hold back, and I've ended up with a bit too much to do. But I'm keeping myself steady and focussed, trying to prioritise the urgent things and not stress about the rest.