Settling in to my new life

Jephson Memorial in Jephson Gardens, Leamington, June 2026

Alongside the search for a badminton club and a Buddhist group I started the hunt for a new Personal Trainer to replace Muscles (although I can't imagine anyone better). The nearest gym is a short walk away, so I dropped in to see if it would do, and have been put in touch with someone who takes as much time as I do to respond to text messages. Eventually I met him, he seems OK, and we've set up a few sessions to see if we get along.

I had to go back to Leamington because of a periodontist appointment that I couldn't move. I thought I might as well make best use of the day so I had a training session with Muscles as well as having a repeat blood test. I actually had a blood test before I moved away, but there was a 'lab error' so it's lucky I've had the opportunity for a repeat - if they mess it up this time I'll have to start again with a new local GP. I also tried to give mum's old VHS video player to Leamington's recycle warehouse, but there was a sign saying they couldn't take any more donations at the moment. I met Nameless Man for a cup of tea and mentioned the video player, and he took it for the Library of Things. Result!

Mum and I have started on the kitchen, weeding out all sorts of things that haven't seen the light of day for years, and hopefully putting more of the things she uses within her reach. There is so much that is no longer needed, both of mine and hers. Her friend came round and helpfully took away one or two things, and the family WhatsApp group means that some of the rest will find a new home, but I anticipate a new kitchen section in the local charity shop. I have promised mum that I will clear the boxes in the kitchen by the time I go away... because I have taken advantage of the certainty of having moved to book a whole lot of retreats and volunteering activity up to the end of the year. Then I will need to calm down and spend more time actually living here.

At various times this week we hosted Lola II, Mr M and Sister D who assisted with more unpacking and helpfully took various items away with them. The saga of the cooker continues - I think I wrote about the broken knob and the unsatisfactory replacements, but the next thing has been that the gas ignition spark failed, and mum thought that it needed a battery that is no longer available. I persuaded her to consider a new cooker, and went as far as investigating where we might get one second-hand (a brand new one seeming unnecessary). Then I actually looked at the battery (which was a standard size), took it out and put it in again and the spark is back. I still think a replacement would be an improvement to our quality of life, but that will have to wait until I have a bit more time to spend on it.

It's taken a couple of weeks but I've now applied for my 60+ Oyster card, which is the same as the Freedom Pass but funded by Transport for London rather than the London borough I live in. So I'll be getting free trains and buses (and trams etc) in London, which is the second big benefit I've attained simply by remaining alive, the first being my Senior Railcard. I went back to the library to make sure I understand how it works - the building is so small that they encourage you to reserve books you want to read rather than expecting to find them on the shelves. I also enquired about borrowing an OS map, which was promptly ordered for me, and then I made the classic error of not simply leaving the library without looking around. So I've borrowed two books, as if I didn't have loads already on my shelves waiting to be read.

This last weekend brought my first retreat with my new Buddhist Group, who started holding a Camping retreat when they couldn't meet any other way because of Covid. The tradition has continued, and there were nearly 30 of us in a field in Essex, meditating and chatting and generally doing Buddhism together, and it was very lovely and people were splendid. It's also been my only camping trip this year, which is very unusual.

It starts to become real

Maybe rhubarb? Or chard? February 2026

It's been a busy few days on the house front. 'Best and final' offers came in, and Mr Celery sent me the emails that each buyer sent with their final offer. One bidder stated their financial position and ended with "Our offer is unchanged" but the other bidder's message was just what was needed: "[the] house and garden are lovely. It’s in a great position, near to the park, river, and town facilities as well as being very private. For central Leamington it is pretty unique and we felt as soon as we saw it that it’s a house we could be happy in." As well as that message they actually increased their offer to the asking price so I've happily accepted it.

I spent a day with mum, and we did some more purging of possessions along with planning which furniture to keep and what to let go, and what colour I might choose for painting 'my' rooms. I took a couple of things up into the loft, and was reminded how much more difficult it is to get things up there compared with my roomy loft and comfortable ladder in Leamington.

The house move is now permeating every thought and action. I had a routine dental appointment, and the dentist happens to be friends with the people who sold me the house 25 years ago, so he was interested in the whole business. The hygienist used to live down the road from Maternal Manor and still has a rental flat there, and the dental assistant is looking for a house in Leamington and brought my listing up on RightMove while I was lying there with my mouth open.

At short notice I booked to go to Birmingham Symphony Hall to see David Sedaris, an American diarist, writer and raconteur who, as well as writing books, reads out his work to an audience (he's been on podcasts and even Radio 4 now). While I was on my way there I tried to instruct the conveyancing solicitor, because I'd managed to complete and send them the stupid form about where I got the money to buy Lola Towers 25 years ago. This didn't work because the two initial forms were just a taster of the horror to come.

There is an app. It requires photos of my passport and utility bills and bank statements to verify my credibility and identity (some of which I've already provided in person at their office). The app also demands every detail of my personal finances over the last 12 months, and I have no choice and it feels horribly intrusive without being softened by a hint of human interaction. 

Then it wants everything else that has been done within the house in the last 25 years, with evidence of planning permission, compliance with building regulation, guarantees, safety certificates, and specification of which carpets, curtain poles, garden furniture, fitted units, kitchen equipment and light fittings I'm taking or leaving in situ. Am I leaving the roof insulation, the boiler, the radiators, the electric sockets? Will I be taking with me the doorbell, door handles, the taps, the bath? Inputting and scanning and uploading all the information required took four solid hours.

The buyer couple is very keen to get a move on because their house sale is further advanced than mine. So they are a) not getting a survey done, b) asking if they can store stuff in the garage in advance of completion (the answer is no) and c) asking if they might move in on a rental basis ahead of completion. I've said I'll think about this last request - if I allow it, it will almost guarantee that the sale will go ahead, but if anything goes wrong then I'm left with sitting tenants. Just writing that down makes me very nervous so I think the answer is no.

So now I need to get a move on in a more focused way - first with mum, carrying on making space for everything, hopefully decorating Maternal Manor sooner rather than after everything is moved in, and here in Leamington shifting all my unnecessary belongings a bit quicker than I have been. No more "I'll have a think about that and deal with it later", now it's "Do I absolutely need it, and if not, out it goes straight away". The loft is already nearly empty except for all my camping gear, old university files (still!) and one or two boxes of stuff I'm not sure what to do with. I need to deal with the contents of the rest of the house much more ruthlessly.

Home again

Adhisthana, August 2025 (photo credit: Lola II)

After the Smaller (but still Big) Event ended on Sunday morning there was a quieter period, but still plenty to do. On Sunday afternoon I cleared out the Restricted Diet kitchen and restored it to its former state ready for the new intake of people who would be using it during a 16-week course. I managed to take the tent down during a warm sunny spell in between rain showers, which made me very happy because I could then just put it away without having to take it out again at home to dry.

I spent quite a bit of time noting down all the things we had learned while running the kitchen, all the equipment we did and didn't use, as well as the food itself. I now know how to cook buckwheat and millet (essentially the same way as quinoa and rice). If I were to do the job again, I wouldn't try so hard to please all the people all the time, because as we know, it can't be done. Next year, however, this event is taking place somewhere else, so I'll have the option to do something different with my August Bank Holiday weekend.

My time at Adhisthana came to an end with a periodontal appointment back home on Tuesday morning. The periodontist was very pleased with the improvement to the sites that he'd treated, and then I remembered to mention the pre-diabetes, and of course that might be another reason why I'm getting such trouble with deep infections of the gums. I was astonished that I'd only gained half a kilo during the three weeks I was away, but naturally delighted at the same time. I've still got some work to do, but don't have to start at the beginning again.

June under way

Stoke-on-Trent, October 2024

I'm still in this period of over-commitment, which is likely to last until the end of June. My week's retreat in July has been cancelled because of low bookings, the retirement of our cook (who collapsed and has received a replacement heart valve), and the retreat centre team needing a break. This is a great shame because it's a retreat that I love, but will give me back some much needed free time in July.

The week of volunteering at the end of May went very well. There were two new volunteers, one of whom reminded me a little of myself at the start of my volunteering career, in that I have now become much more self-aware and, I think, more patient. It's only taken five decades for me to fully take on board that sometimes other people know better than I do.

From there I went to York to stay with a friend for the weekend, where among other treats we ate a wonderful Thai lunch and walked quite a lot. There's very little parking available near my friend's flat, so I booked a parking spot which advertised itself as being 11 minutes away. What I didn't notice was that it was 11 minutes away by car, so about 40 minutes walking, which was through a nature reserve on a beautiful evening so I didn't mind. Except that the owner of the parking spot phoned at about 11.30pm to say that I'd parked in the wrong place, so I had to move the car next morning. I'm definitely going by train next time.

At the Birmingham Buddhist Centre, where I'm volunteering on Tuesdays, my efforts to rationalise storage has been much appreciated. I've cleared out the fridge, two food storage cupboards, a cupboard that was completely overrun with plastic tubs without matching lids, and most recently, the freezer, where there were a couple of drawers containing nothing but old bread. Looking at 'Use by' and 'Best before' dates I've encouraged the team to use up items that are past their dates but probably still OK, like unopened jars of pickled beetroot, a whole bag of porridge oats, and a half-finished bag of dried apricots. In the freezer there are four large tubs of unlabelled leftovers, which (unless someone else wants them) I will take home to play Lucky Dip Dinner.

There's been more action on the periodontal surgery, which is uncomfortable and horrible at the time but remarkably pain-free afterwards, needing paracetamol for only 24 hours. Review at three months will give an idea about prognosis, but as this review will be done by the periodontal surgeon I doubt that he will consider it unsuccessful.

Lola II and I attended mum's cousin's wife's funeral at the Crematorium and the service was really good - the tributes paid by the celebrant, widower and friend were wonderful. I was glad to have Lola II with me otherwise I'd have had to talk to a lot more people I didn't know. I was asked to take some photographs, and now I'd better sort them out and send them over.

Up to date

May 2025

I'm about three weeks behind with blogging, but this week I'm volunteering at the usual retreat centre, leaving my regular weekly commitments behind. So, a bit more time in hand. 

Back at the beginning of May, mum, Sister D, Lola II and I headed off to the woodland cemetery where dad is buried. The idea was to plant some flowers on the grave and to think about what wording we'd like on the stone, but we discovered that the grave had already been planted - when and by whom is still a mystery. We added some daffodil bulbs and scattered some poppy seeds, and planted the primulas we'd brought on a neighbouring grave. Maybe that's how dad's grave acquired his plants? Anyway, it was a surprisingly jolly outing with plenty of black humour.

After a weekend in Nottingham the next item of note was the first of two periodontal surgeries to try and improve the chronic problem of my gum disease. As before, it was unpleasant and uncomfortable, but with little pain either during or after the procedure. I'm not convinced that the infection will not return, and perhaps it already has, due to the difficulty of keeping the site free of food debris. 

Then there was an online retreat over a weekend, when three of us took ourselves off to a luxurious house not very far away to do the retreat together. I rigged up the TV with a webcam and hooked it up to my laptop so we could sit together for the general sessions and we split up into separate rooms for the parts where we were in different groups. We cooked and ate meals together, had some deep conversations and generally looked at life in a different way for a weekend. We all agree that it's a fine way to do this type of retreat - I don't sign up to do the online ones at home because I'd be too distracted with all the things needing my attention in my own house.

The next event was a trip to London where I met up with Lola II and Mr M for a Nepali lunch and a walk around in Woolwich, followed by a film in a cinema which has a membership scheme a bit like a London club. Next day Lola II and I went into town for brunch, she went on to one of her volunteering shifts and I met an old school friend before going on to visit mum. Then came the trip to Manchester that I wrote about last time, and a busy week leading up to this stint of volunteering. I've mostly been in the kitchen, which is the work I particularly enjoy, often in charge of the meals for those with allergies and intolerances.

There's plenty more that I'm looking forward to in the coming weeks so I don't expect I'll be able to keep on top of blogging, but that's life and I'm making the most of it.

A Whale of a Time

April 2025

Apart from the tourist trip to Warwick and the badminton volunteering, there have been a couple of other notable events recently. Following a pessimistic dental appointment I made a return visit to the periodontist, who agreed with the poor prognosis on two sites and recommended further 'regenerative' surgery of the sort that I had before (three years ago), but this time with extra bone graft. I really don't know what to think about all this - I can afford the fees and it probably helps to keep my teeth in my jaw, but it's a most unpleasant procedure and eventually they are bound to come out, so why prolong the treatment? Something to think about when the next crisis arrives.

I went on a day trip to Oxford to pick up Sister D and on to the University's Harcourt Arboretum, which (as you'd expect) has very fine trees, and we generally caught up with each other and had some serious and helpful conversations - helpful to me at least. I'm still dealing with a couple of mum's financial affairs which keeps Sister D and me busy trying to interpret mystifying correspondence and acquiring evidence of identity and address and signatures of everyone in the family.

Then I went on a solitary retreat that was longer than I've done before (12 days), taking all the food I'd need as well as getting jobs done before I went. UJ was in Ukraine for a few weeks and returned while I was away, so there was some anticipatory cleaning and tidying needed. I had a very thoughtful and fruitful time, meditating, walking, reading, reflecting and studying (in preparation for another, more academic retreat in September), but also doing nothing. The time flew by.

A couple of weeks before I went away on the retreat I had started a self-imposed news blackout - have I mentioned this? The news, especially in the USA, Ukraine/Russia and Gaza/Israel, had become too much for me to bear with equanimity, so I stopped watching, listening to, and reading any news media except for Radio 4 comedy and a couple of podcasts. Obviously on retreat I was completely offline, and spent quite a bit of time pondering whether to go back to the news on my return, and if so, how to achieve the right balance of staying informed without being overwhelmed.

I went for a walk with a friend this week, and was going to ask him to tell me in the briefest terms what I needed to know. He very quickly demonstrated that news has no boundaries, and even the most innocuous event is linked in many ways to other events that I would not wish to hear about. So I have concluded that it isn't possible, and have continued to be completely ignorant of all news, both domestic and foreign, and even stopped subscribing to the news podcasts (although I've continued with Radio 4 comedy). It's a strange, unnerving place to be, a bit like driving while wearing a blindfold. 

Up to now I considered it my duty to stay informed, and not doing so seems somehow irresponsible, or negligent, but several responsible and not-negligent people I've talked to say that they don't keep up to date with the news, although a couple of them said they sometimes feel stupid for not knowing what's going on. So I'm trying to let go of my self-view, and, for the time being at least, to focus on the fact that it's not only possible but preferable to step off the relentless cycle of doom and gloom, pain and ignorance, injustice and grief.

A couple of happier stories to finish with. I went to a delightful concert in a Leamington church which involved an adult choir, a choir of primary school girls, a small group of musicians and two solo vocalists, performing arrangements of two Kinks albums with the support and encouragement of Ray Davies (lead vocalist of the Kinks). I knew about it because one of the people involved in the LETS local trading scheme was singing in the choir, but in the queue for tickets I met one of my music group whose husband was also in the choir, and Nameless Man was also there (I'd told him about it but he wasn't sure he would go), and then I met the man in charge of my U3A board games group who turned out to know the LETS woman because they were neighbours and both trustees of the community centre where the Repair Café happens, and then I bumped into an ex-colleague from my last career but one.

The other lovely thing is that UJ brought me a present from Ukraine of a lamp she has made in the shape of a whale.

Doing well

Helidon church, March 2024

Looking back, it's exactly three years since Glf the builder did such a good job of restoring and pointing my wall on the pub side. The reason for looking back is that the roofer pictured in the last blog post (newly named Hlf) highlighted that my two chimney stacks badly need pointing. I'm pretty sure that this was mentioned in the survey that was done when I bought the house more than twenty years ago, which just reminds me how far I've come since the time when I'm pretty sure I didn't know what pointing was.

Hlf discussed the options with me, decided that he could do the job without needing scaffolding, and has provided a quotation on that basis (and I only had to chase him twice). I asked Glf to come and have a look too but he wasn't prepared to take it on without scaffolding, and his quote (only one gentle reminder needed) is obviously twice as much as Hlf's. I'll offer it to Hlf, but being accustomed to the ways of the workmen I am very much prepared for him not to follow through, and then I'll fall back on Glf (who can't schedule the job until spring anyway).

Being able to take on workmen and get back to the LTRP has demonstrated that at the moment I am in pretty good shape, physically and mentally. This hasn't been the case for much of this year. Nothing dreadful, nothing specific, but I'd fallen into unhealthy and unhelpful habits which were proving tough to break. Several things have helped: the support of friends and family (often without them knowing about their part in my welfare), but also pulling myself together through meditation and reflection. The retreat in July gave me a really good opportunity to come up with a plan, which was slightly derailed by a couple of things, but is now working quite well. Apart from cutting out the chocolate and Wotsits, I have been seeing a Personal Trainer. Let's call him Muscles.

Muscles is young and fit (obviously) and has been leading me through some fairly gentle preliminary exercises involving what the experts describe as my 'core' muscles - pelvis, bum and abdomen mostly. Having been fairly fit in the past, I now recognise that I had really let myself go, despite playing badminton twice a week. I also recognise that while Muscles is quite an expensive option in comparison to classes at the local leisure centre, it is unlikely that I would achieve the same results under my own initiative.

I feel comfortable paying for Muscles because the payments ended for my orthodontic treatment a while ago, and now the alignment work is complete. It feels very strange to be without the aligners and I now seem to have developed the habit of unconsciously chewing my lips and the inside of my mouth which is very annoying. I have a night-time retainer to wear, and a visit to my new and slightly annoying dental hygienist has resulted in a further plea for additional attention to my night-time brushing routine.

As usual I've been cramming an enormous amount into my days, including the U3A walking and board games groups, a trip to the local Repair Café, my several Buddhist groups (in person and online), and my monthly music group. Leading up to each of the music sessions I inwardly groan about loading all the gear into the car and spending a whole afternoon with the group, but afterwards I'm always on a high for a day or two and ponder whether I've got time to squeeze more music into my life. This term the pieces that have been chosen are really good fun to play but also really hard, particularly for the baritone saxophone, which demands a lot of physical effort to play.

I also went to a comedy night featuring comedian Mark Watson. I was vaguely aware that he attended the same college as I did (many years after my time), but what I didn't know was that Suella Braverman, former Home Secretary and current Evil Gnome, was also there at the same time as him. I rather lost concentration on the comedy material for a few minutes when this became clear.

I'm going to have a bit of time off, with a weekend retreat leading into a week's solitary time. Now it's time to pack.

So far in February

Adhisthana, May 2023

Lots of stuff since I last wrote, but none of it worthy of more meaningful consideration than a series of bullet points (except perhaps the last, but that's all it's getting).

• I visited my regular dental hygienist on her last day of work at the practice, and was happy to show her the good results of all the treatment I've been having. She was genuinely delighted and offered me a hug. I've never been hugged at the dentist before, so that's a first.
• A call to renew acquaintance with Mr MXF and a new job that involves testing some training materials he's developed. I broke the system within seven minutes simply by uploading a picture of a cake, and he thanked me for finding a weakness he'd never have thought of.
• Film recommendation: All Of Us Strangers, which I went to with UJ. She can cope well when there are subtitles but not so much in the cinema or with accents, so she missed one of the key plot points. I loved this film even more than Poor Things which I also saw with her and which was more of a spectacle and less nuanced. She preferred Poor Things, maybe because it was easier to understand despite being Mad.
• Buddhism: a morning at the Birmingham Centre as well as the usual Tuesday evenings, where we welcomed a visitor from Adhisthana (aka Triratna HQ, the retreat centre where I have been volunteering) and I realised how much I miss having an Order Member here so I can ask those tricky questions. I'm delighted that he'll be coming for two more weeks.
• The music group has started again with a few good arrangements as well as a couple of tedious pop songs. Each month I sigh at having committed to this before setting off anyway, and return with a spring in my step having thoroughly enjoyed myself and wondering how I might fit in some more clarinet and sax playing, and conclude that I'd definitely have to give up something else.
• Shrove Tuesday pancake mask competition - last year was my first attempt at this, but this year the theme was a more difficult one. I managed to put in an entry though. Judging is on 2nd March.
• U3A walking group - I'm enjoying this a great deal, despite Friday's walk being a lot more muddy than expected which made the going a bit tough. The leader slipped over and cut his hand quite badly on barbed wire, another person complained a little too often about the mud, and I accidentally opened a conversation about Brexit that perhaps wasn't appropriate, but we all survived. The U3A board games group is good too.
• Badminton - a match on Thursday left me a bit achy and tired before the difficult walk on Friday. I always end up trying harder and stretching more for a match compared with a club night, and I'm definitely not as young as I was. A couple of times I've left before the club night has ended, which my younger self would have found inconceivable. Still, I'll carry on playing until I can't play any more because walking is good exercise but nowhere near as much fun as swatting a shuttlecock in a big room.
• Visiting parents - the downstairs shower room conversion is going well and looks very nice, although the basin has accidentally been installed about 10cm higher than it should have. What with everyone in the family being short and  in some cases getting shorter this needs to be remedied. Mum and I picked out a new bathroom cabinet, and I put a couple of things no longer needed onto Freecycle.
• The tenth Random Chairs in a Darkened Room Film Festival hosted by Mr M and Lola II took place at the weekend, with six of the eight films being chosen by myself and another friend. Best film (in my opinion): Calvary (2014). It was the usual splendid event with many visitors, lots of food, ice creams and popcorn, wonderful trailers and shorts before the main screening, and I was given a shiny badge to wear designating my status as Guest Curator.

Out and about again

Madeira Botanical Garden, Funchal, November 2022

It took me about two and a half days to get through the email and WhatsApp traffic that had piled up while I was away for two weeks on retreat, and I'm still catching up on podcasts. I did three loads of washing and there's more to come, but this did include a whole load that I didn't manage to do before I went. The weekend disappeared very rapidly but at least I managed to retain some of the equanimity that a retreat brings, and if I can keep it going it will stand me in good stead for the rest of January and February, which are a bit busy.

The U3A board games and walking groups are turning out very well. I thought the board games group would meet in a Games café - there are two in Leamington - but it turns out that the group organiser has a house full of board games, which I was invited to view while his wife rolled her eyes at the foolishness of it all. Attendance is low at the moment, but maybe because of Christmas and cold weather and the advanced age of the group members. The walking group has been good too, with circular walks ending at a pub for lunch and interesting people to walk with and get to know. I'm definitely the youngster at both these groups. I'm not planning to join any more for the time being.

I was invited to spend a day in London with one of the people I go for walks with. It was strange spending time with him without the dog - for example, one of us didn't have to wait at the table while the other went to the counter to order tea. We went to an exhibition at the British Museum and then another at the Royal Academy, and both were interesting. The BM exhibition was about Myanmar/Burma, and one of the first things I learned was why there are two names - 'Myanmar' relates to one of the kingdoms that was drawn together to make what the British colonisers called 'Burma'. The RA exhibition was of drawings done by impressionists (Degas to Toulouse-Lautrec), of which my favourite was a simple watercolour of flowerpots by Paul Cézanne.

Then I went to York for the weekend to visit my Buddhist friend who moved from Birmingham, and to deliver a camp bed and curtains for her flat, which also meant I was more comfortable at night. York is a lovely city, and there's plenty of scope for exploring in future. I returned via Manchester and H+B's place, where H had arranged someone to sit with B so we could go out to a lovely local place for soup (me) and croque (him) and ponder on the suffering in the world and our imminent deaths. And some cheerier subjects too.

Excitement lined up for the future includes my next new volunteering opportunity. I have been accepted as Event Control Room Team Member at the international badminton competition in Birmingham in March. Not a lot of effort went into my application - I just wrote that I'd been in the radio room at Warwick Folk Festival twice, which suggests that perhaps they are short of volunteers for the role.

And lastly, more teeth news: the last person I saw thought my treatment might be coming to an end, but she asked the senior orthodontist who thinks there is a bit more that can be done. So they gave me 13 more retainers, so that's about four more months.

How I spend my time nowadays

Self portrait with skipping rope, 1969

I've still got a collection of old school books, certificates and pictures that I drew when I was very young. I'm not sure how I feel about the dilemma of keeping vs throwing away, but while I can rest easy with getting rid of university notes, these documents are much more interesting. I spent a weekend working out which pictures I might frame, including repurposing frames I already had, ordering new ones for delivery (one of which arrived with the glass completely smashed but was replaced without quibble), and shopping in person. There's still more to do with all this, but I'll come back to it when I have another surge in interest.

It's been a while since I reduced my paid work to the dribble that I do for Mr MXF, and although my evenings and weekends are fully committed to the Buddhists, badminton and family, I have a fair amount of time during the day that I'd like to spend more usefully. So I joined the University of the Third Age (U3A)! So far I've joined a walking group and a board games group, and the people I've met so far are interesting and friendly and quite a lot older than me. We'll see how it goes.

Then I was invited to go back to Adhisthana, the retreat centre where I previously volunteered in the kitchen for a month. They were hosting a weekend for 150 people and thought they could do with a bit of extra support in the catering department. I had a great time again, especially as all meals were planned so that it was entirely coeliac friendly and there were only a handful of special dietary requirements to worry about.

Helping mum and dad recently has been heavy on the admin. Mum has engaged a new company that supplies carers, and they have sent a barrage of forms to be read and signed. The Home Improvement Team has taken the referral from the Occupational Therapist Team and sent a contractor to scope out work to convert the downstairs shower into a wet room, while we applied for an Independent Living Grant to cover the cost. They sent the wrong forms twice, but once I'd got the right forms and phoned the team to check how to fill them in, the grant was approved the same day that I submitted them.

There's always more news in the dental department. Having been given my sets of aligners on the basis that I would be having the 'slenderising' treatment that I declined, the aligners don't fit very well any more. When I pointed this out I was invited to an in-person appointment so they could have a look, and it's possible that the whole treatment will end before Christmas. In the meantime more 'buttons' have been glued to my teeth so that another elastic band can be used. It's been just over a year since I started the treatment and it will be lovely when it's all over, but I'm now starting to become just a little apprehensive about what the aftercare will be like.

Going out

Kew Gardens, October 2022

Mum celebrated her 91st birthday without incident. There was no cake! and no presents! but we were there and she enjoyed it, except for the bit when dad outlined his demands of the hoist manufacturer. To be fair, I didn't enjoy that bit either so mum and I retired to the kitchen while Lola II and Sister D had a good time with him and the hoist.

I've been going out locally a bit more than usual, with two local comedy nights and Mozart's Requiem (plus three settings of the Miserere) in the Parish Church. I even went with other people on two of the three outings (badminton/Buddhist friends). Unusually, I didn't enjoy the comedy all that much. Reginald D. Hunter didn't seem to have his heart in it and Bridget Christie did a lot of material about older women (work, representation on screen, menopause), but I didn't altogether agree with her point of view.

My Monday Buddhism class has had a short break for our teacher's holiday to Cornwall, which allowed me to go to Monday badminton as well as Thursday, and I've had two matches as well, and fallen over twice (clumsily tripping over my own feet). I conclude that I'm quite good at landing because I've escaped with mild bruising, but it's only a matter of time before my post-menopausal bones crumble away and I end up with something worse. It's worth it though.

In the headlines for my teeth there was a visit to the orthodontist where I was scheduled for 'slenderising', which means shaving bits off the tooth enamel to make everything more perfect. After quite a long conversation with the orthodontist we agreed that since my aims for the treatment do not include the perfect smile, tooth enamel is far too valuable to shave bits off just so that I don't have gaps at the gum line. At the dentist this week my hygienist was very pleased with progress and thinks that the aligners have made a big difference.

And I went to a meeting held by the committee of the Warwick Folk Festival. The Team Leader for Communications (where I was a volunteer) is hoping to step away from the role, and they are trying to interest a few of us volunteers in taking it on. Two of us were there and neither of us wants the role, although we don't mind doing a bit more next year. We'll see where that goes. The venue was terrible for the meeting (background noise, poor projection of Zoom and inadequate microphone and speakers) but lunch was excellent, so hooray for priorities.

As I write it is Remembrance Sunday. I'm having a difficult time with the news, and I really need to start avoiding it more completely. UJ is still in Kyiv - I read today that the conflict there has pretty much reached a stalemate, but Zelensky won't negotiate and will certainly run out of resources before Putin does. Politicians in the UK continue to be contemptible, the situation in Gaza is more than I can bear, many African states are enduring civil war, and the thought of Trump winning the election based on current polling feels very much like the beginning of the end of the world.

London, Manchester and York

York Minster, August 2023

Lola II's Belated Birthday events continue, and I invited myself to a long and fancy lunch in London with her and Mr M and also Mr MXF and his daughter. The timing was good because I was due for another orthodontics appointment beforehand, but the aligners they ordered had not arrived. So I enjoyed the lunch before getting fitted with new aligners along with what they call 'buttons' but I call 'cheek gougers'. 

Small, sharp metal nubbins have been welded on to my lower back teeth in order to attach little elastic bands during the night so that vertical pressure can be applied. Immediately after the orthodontics appointment I was due to catch a train, so I arrived in Manchester knowing that I was going to need an immediate remedy (dental wax) to avoid the 'buttons' slicing their way through to the outside of my cheek. Now, a week later, things are settling down.

I enjoyed my brief time in Manchester, during which I happened to revisit some of the haunts of 30 years ago. Much has changed - there are more student flats that I could ever have imagined, the tram system is excellent, and people are just as likely to talk to a stranger as they were back then. I spent a morning at the Manchester Buddhist Centre. watched a very short part of the Pride parade, visited the Museum of Science and Industry (which was much smaller than I remember) and went to see a film as well as a comedy show.

Manchester was a stopover on the way to the main event, which was a couple of days with one of my Buddhist friends who moved from Birmingham to York earlier this year. Coincidentally I had met someone from the York Buddhist community at a recent retreat, and she was able to open the Centre so I could have a look. My friend was keen to show me the wonders of York, and we spent some quality time putting the world to rights.

I came home via Manchester again, enabling me to pay a visit to H+B and the cats. The whole journey was carried out by train, with hardly a hitch despite the train strike on the Saturday (when I wasn't travelling). I found this quite surprising - when I used to be a regular train commuter my recollection is that the majority of trains were cancelled or late on my daily journeys, probably because the ones that were on time didn't make any sort of impression.

UJ was away at the same time as me. She had flown to Spain to visit friends, but had a pretty miserable time - they weren't feeling well when she arrived, so she not only spent her whole holiday with people who weren't up for doing much but she also caught Covid and brought it home with her. We had three days together in the house before I went away again, and during that time her challenge was not to pass it on to me, and mine was not to catch it.

I found a spare kettle and toaster for her room, and made two meals a day for her, and she didn't mind her incarceration too much because she was feeling rough and sleeping a lot of the time. But we made it; my Covid test was negative before I left for my latest adventure - a month of volunteering at Adhisthana, a Buddhist retreat centre, of which no doubt I will write more later.

Back with a bang

Rivendell, July 2023

Back from my latest retreat and it's taken a while to get around to blogging, although I managed to dry the tent before a week had gone by. Part of the reason is that I went back to Mr MXF asking for a different task - the previous one was too complex for me to fit in between all the other things I'm doing, so it took me an hour or two to remember what I was supposed to be doing and then I had to stop to do something else, and then had to go through the learning curve again. So he's now given me something much easier that's rather fun to do, and so I spent quite a bit of time doing it last week.

But back to the retreat. It was in Sussex so I made a few stops along the way: staying with Sister D, a delicious Ethiopian lunch in Shepherd's Bush with her and Lola II, and then staying with my friend from primary school who lives in Worthing. Arriving at the retreat I set up my tent and reported for the briefing about what my responsibilities were. The main jobs were at the start (welcoming people), and at the end (organising the clearing up). Two team members did all the cooking and another was the creative inspiration for the team - she used me to fetch things and hold other things while she made beautiful objects for the shrine.

There wasn't all that much for me to do in the way of organising because there weren't any complaints about sleeping arrangements or snoring, nobody had forgotten to bring anything essential, and everyone seemed to be getting on pretty well. I was just thinking that this was quite an easy job when the news came in from the team that manage the property that a local water main had burst and there would be no running water for an indeterminate period. That certainly gave me a few things to do, with their help - they supplied bottled water, hand sanitiser and wet wipes, and we organised buckets of water from the pond for flushing the two outside toilets. Within the team we decided that if it continued beyond one night we would have to send everyone home. Thankfully the water was back after 24 hours and everyone survived.

The programme for the retreat was similar to last year. On the last full day we were all given a packed lunch and sent off to spend the day outside. I had some organising to do in advance of the clearing up task, and when I finally got out I decided to do something that was not entirely within the spirit of the retreat, which was to head for the local tea room for tea and cake. It was a lovely walk, and very fine tea and cake, but my rule-bending backfired on me when the caffeine withdrawal headache appeared the next day, and I suspect the tea was not as decaffeinated as it should have been. 

My misfortune continued on the drive home with heavy rain and horrible traffic on the M25, and then there was a loud bang from the nearside front of the car while I was south of Bicester on the M40. In the pouring rain, with a headache, I determined that steering, suspension and brakes were still performing as they should but I came off the motorway to finish the journey just in case. So it took ages. My wonderful garage was still open when I arrived and diagnosed a broken coil spring (now repaired).

UJ wasn't at home when I arrived - she was back in Ukraine for her father's birthday. I thought I'd go to the Buddhist Centre the next day for their regular monthly women's morning, but the activity was too raucous for my post-retreat sensitivities so I ended up sitting quietly in a corner. Then Sunday and Monday were set aside for meeting my cousin and her son who were visiting from Seattle, first in Regent's Park and then at mum and dad's, and then UJ returned next day. Not the recommended approach to easing oneself back into everyday life after the peace and calm of a retreat.

Today I've had two lots of dental experiences. The orthodontist is going to order a whole new series of aligners to replace the ones previously supplied, presumably because my wayward teeth aren't aligning themselves as they are supposed to. Then I experienced a new hygienist who sprayed my face liberally with water while her assistant sucked my tongue and cheek into her poorly-wielded suction tube, and then gave me even more work to do when brushing my teeth. I am not impressed, but feel that I should at least give it a try.

Also not impressed, April 2023

Not in gainful employment

Vajraloka, May 2022

Time rushes past as though it's got somewhere to go, and it's already May. No momentous announcements, but a succession of interesting activities:

• My 50th blood donation. I got a special thank-you email, and apparently will also get a certificate and a gold donor card through the post. It's probably more than 50, actually, because I've got a few of the blue cardboard wallets with a certificate or two that they used in the Olden Days and maybe didn't make it into the System. Donation has changed quite a lot since then - we are expected to drink a whole lot more water or squash before and after donating, we are encouraged to use our lower body muscles during the process (moving legs and feet, tensing and releasing buttocks), the chairs are reclined for donation and then raised again afterwards, timers are used for everything (how long to disinfect the elbow, how long to wait afterwards before raising the seat), the consent form is much more sensible, we don't get any hot drinks at the end any more, but there are much better snack options.
• Teeth report: the dental hygienist says the state of my gums continues to deteriorate slowly, but at least it's from a much improved level after the horrific surgery. I'm on the 15th set of aligners out of 37 with noticeably straighter teeth, more even interdental space and a much improved bite. So that's good; let's hope it results in no further loss of teeth.
• Music group continues; as usual I'm missing a couple of rehearsals but have forgone a weekend retreat in order to be available for the concert.
• A Buddhist Consultant came to talk to the team supporting our local group, in order to suggest ways to move forward based on what everyone's stated position is. He stayed with me for two days and nights and although he did all the consultancy work I was exhausted by the end of it. Apart from all the visitors we had a big supper, and it was all very nice and now we have to wait for the report. He gave me a couple of ideas of what might be in it and it sounds very promising.
• Lots more contact with Buddhists, including going for a walk, Monday evening study group, Tuesday evening meeting, and a special this week - I got to attend an ordination. These usually take place during a three-month retreat, often in Spain, but this one was in the Birmingham Centre. If I'm honest, it was a bit long and I didn't find it as moving as I'd expected to, but it was at the end of a long day and I was tired. Tomorrow I'm going to the celebration of Buddha Day at the Centre.
• I went to a classical music concert at the local big church with a symphony orchestra playing Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninov and a saxophone concerto, so all very dramatic with lots of sweeping strings. It's been a long time since I listened to live classic music and it was great.
• During all the Buddhist consultancy and long Mayday weekend UJ was absent, firstly on a trip to her workplace in London and then on a trip to Scotland to visit Edinburgh. She also went on a coach tour to see Loch Ness and a few other sites and had a pretty good time, although she hadn't realised how big Scotland is and how much driving there would be.
• Dad had his 90th birthday, and Sister D, Lola II and I were there to celebrate along with him and mum. I cooked a milk-free sugar-free allium-free meat-and-fish-free chilli; Sister D and Lola II brought more personal presents for him. When we told him we had come for his birthday he asked us what year it was, and confirmed that yes, he was going to be 90.

Them's the highlights, and have you noticed that there's very little going on with Mr MXF? When I see there's a gap in my diary I plan to do something for him but then I end up filling the gap with something else. I think I may have to admit to myself and to him that I should be sacked.

I'm nearly 60

Irvin, February 2023

During the ski trip there was a theme running through the week, which started on the overnight Eurostar going out. I found myself in the small hours, still awake and trying to get comfortable enough to sleep by lying on the floor rather than sitting up in a chair. "I'm nearly 60," I thought. "I don't think my younger self would have anticipated that I'd be lying on the floor of a train trying to sleep when I'm nearly 60." Subsequently, when on previous trips I'd have been working out when the last ski lift would enable me to get home at the end of the day, on this trip at about 2.30 p.m. we started to consider getting back for a bath and supper. "After all, we're nearly 60..."

Then last week I played in two badminton matches. Towards the end of the second one I completely ran out of steam. Luckily I was paired with a much younger partner who did all the running about that I would previously have considered to be my role. I'm really am nearly 60, in so many aspects of life.

Coming back from the ski trip I was expecting UJ to reappear within a couple of days. She had gone home to fetch her cat and I thought she had made all the arrangements and booked transport, but arrangements can be altered and cancelled, and she gave me a new date when she was planning to come without the cat. That date also came and went, and now it may be March. I'm not holding my breath.

Before she went, she drew my attention to the draughty state of the windows in her room, and she has a point. So I called upon Doors and Windows Ulf, who diagnosed old hinges and has gone away to order some new ones. So that needs to happen at some point.

The Film Festival run by Mr M and Lola II went swimmingly as usual, with a new introductory trailer and a fantastic advertisement for Random Cuts, the hairdressing service offered by Lola II ("Only 15 minutes bus ride from the nearest A&E!") My music group restarted, there's the usual Buddhist activity, and I was able to take in another dog, called Irvin. Only for 24 hours, which was quite enough - he's not done much training, and it shows! I've been spoiled by the dogs that are later in their training like Caddie and Pat.

The dental work is going fairly well, I've been allowed to move on to my sixth set of aligners (out of 37), and yesterday I had one of my back molars extracted by my very lovely dentist. It's a shame that I see him mainly for painful treatments. In fact, despite the difficulty of the extraction and the state of the resulting extraction site, it hurts very little today. The dentist's commentary as we went along was also interesting - I had to have extra anaesthetic because of my 'interesting jaw anatomy' and apparently I'm very good at clotting. I told him that this information will all be very useful when I create my online dating profile.

Not Very Well

Kew Gardens, October 2022

I went to the GP. This is a very infrequent occurrence, thankfully, and I actually can't remember the last time I was there other than to see the nurse for travel vaccinations before I went to Brazil, and that was 2019. I consider myself very lucky in this regard, especially in comparison to the rest of my family and many of my friends.  The only major issue I have is with the stupid teeth. I now seem to spend half my time either eating, cleaning the aligners or brushing my teeth.

Anyway, this isn't about my health, but what struck me was that despite the doctor being very clear in her diagnosis, prognosis and prescribed treatment, as soon as I walked out of the door I became uncertain of what I was supposed to do. How often was the treatment? For how long? When was I supposed to go back for a review? But the miracle of modern technology means that as soon as I got home I looked it up on my online patient record, and there it all was, just as she had typed it, with the consultation notes, treatment, prescription and everything else.

Unfortunately, the health theme continued when mum lost her balance in the kitchen, fell on her back and bumped her head. She got herself to bed and the paramedics found no significant injury, which seems very lucky.

I wrote the previous paragraph very early in the week. Since then, it's been tough.  Mum has been unable to do much except lie in bed, Sister D, Lola II and myself have been doing our best, we really have, but our ignorance of The System combined with other factors have resulted in a very difficult period that has consumed a great deal of time and energy from all of us plus paramedics on two occasions, a dear family friend, a District Nurse (three or four times so far), a Social Worker, the GP and the pharmacist. It continues.

While all this was going on I have had three (count 'em, THREE) dental encounters - one at the orthodontist which I think should have been a telephone consultation because it was just a check-in, then a normal dental appointment with the dentist and hygienist, then the main event at the orthodontist where they fixed 'attachments' to my teeth which I believe will eventually be used to connect elastic bands that pull the teeth about. This wasn't painful, but it was tedious and uncomfortable. They also gave me the remaining retainers for the whole course (37 sets in all) plus a snazzy gadget that holds my mobile phone and a cheek retractor while I run an app that takes pictures which are then sent for review. It is very 21st century and an extraordinary contrast to my teenage braces which were full metal with wires and created open wounds in my mouth as well as destroying my fragile teenage self-esteem. I didn't smile for a year.

All this on top of a funeral yesterday of one of the Buddhists, younger than me, who succumbed to cancer in just a couple of months from diagnosis. It's been a very difficult week, and it's not yet over.

Party!

Vajraloka, May 2022

UJ is back! She notified me of her return flight, arriving at Birmingham on a day with absolutely no train service because of the strike, and at the same time as I was due to play in a badminton match. A friend kindly offered to meet her at the airport and drive her home. We exchanged Christmas gifts - a mug with a cat design for her, chocolates and a body scrub for me. Her family is not in too bad a situation despite living in Kyiv, because they are in an old apartment that uses gas for heating and cooking, so despite the power cuts they are warm. She tells me that Kyiv has also improved its missile defences so they aren't too badly off on that front either. Still, she is glad to be here rather than there.

In the past, the Christmas Day celebrated in Ukraine corresponded with that of the Russian church on 7th January. UJ tells me that because all things Russian are now distasteful there is a move to celebrate on 25th December instead. But this year, our amazing local coordinator who is devoting her whole life to helping the refugees arranged a party for all the Ukrainians in the district, and their hosts. The Pump Room was the venue, and such was the demand that there was no room for hosts! This very much disappointed UJ who was keen for me to attend, and in the end I did go for a couple of hours, which was really all I could tolerate.

The local MP was also there and made a little speech - he has been very helpful in trying to get the right visas and accommodation and no doubt much more I don't know about. Children ran about and screamed in the way that children do when they are excited and having fun, one little boy had a major meltdown when his helium balloon escaped, there was a high speed collision between two of the children, but on the whole harmony reigned. Before I arrived a violinist and a singer had performed, I sampled some of the traditional Ukrainian Christmas dishes, a local ukulele band played, and I left before the disco.

We lost the badminton match that I was playing when UJ arrived, but the same players plus UJ convened for a pub quiz on Sunday night. We didn't win that either, but it was fun and we're planning to do it again in a fortnight. I had to forgo the next badminton match because I had a tooth extracted which had shown up on the latest X-ray as Not Very Well. My dentist is lovely. After I had childishly complained about having to endure the procedure and then pay for it we got down to business. The tooth was actually broken (horizontally) which hadn't shown up on the X-ray, but he got it all out without any fuss, and sadly agreed with the orthodontist that another extraction would probably be needed. So, more fun with teeth to come.

After dosing myself with painkillers UJ took me to the cinema that evening. She had asked a couple of times whether I wanted to see the latest blockbuster Avatar 3D movie, and I had said no, but when she asked again I realised that she just needed some company, so there I was on Monday night with my 3D glasses. It's actually the first proper 3D film I've seen - I went with Lola II and Sister D aeons ago but that wasn't a proper movie with a story, just a demonstration of what 3D could do. Avatar was an extraordinary and astonishing visual spectacle, and I have no idea how it was made, but it was much too long and I wasn't particularly interested in the story. In fact, I found myself feeling sad that so many people and animals were portrayed as being violently killed or maimed, and wondered why this continues to feature so prominently in so many films, while showing something as relatively innocuous as smoking (or even vaping) is now completely unacceptable.

A trip north followed, to see H+B and also the man I met at the Shrewsbury Folk Festival who was interested in mum's button accordion, but subsequently decided he didn't want it. We had a nice chat, he's volunteering at the Festival again but I'm not, he handed over the accordion and maybe we'll be in touch next time I'm back up north.

Vajraloka, May 2022

Another year ended

Buda palace, December 2022

Happy New Year to all my 30 or so readers. If you've been waiting for an invitation to let me know who you are, please do write me a comment! I'm intrigued.

Anyway, the old year ended with a few lovely events and a couple that weren't so much fun. I managed to achieve a blood donation, the 49th that is recorded with the service (although I'm pretty sure that a few in the early days have been missed). Then there was my initiation into the Invisalign system which is going to straighten my teeth with the aim of preventing them falling out and helping to reduce the chronic refractory periodontitis. However, one tooth is already scheduled for extraction in January, and both the orthodontist and periodontist are pessimistic about another one, and I'm starting to think they might be right. I have many, many appointments to come so if you are a fan of teeth you will find much to enjoy in the next 18 months.

Among the happier events, Pat the dog has come to stay again, this time for a whole week without respite because the training centre is closed. This is the longest time that I've been the primary carer for any living being. She is a sweet dog and getting on well with her training too, and she would very much like me to play with her now but I am writing this instead, so she has just settled herself on the floor and emitted a sigh of resignation.

I joined Lola II and Mr M for Christmas for a change, and went to see 'It's a Wonderful Life' with them on Christmas Eve, For several years they have gone for a lunchtime walk and picnic with a group of friends on Christmas Day, so that's what we did. The day included a Secret Santa event (with gifts costing no more than £3), the playing and singing of carols, supper, and pass the parcel. I'm not sure what my perfect Christmas would be, but despite this involving much more interaction with other people than I would wish it was actually pretty good. Thank you Lola II and Mr M.

Between Christmas and New Year, apart from the blood donation and Pat the dog, I had a visit from a chap to fix the induction hob after it was previously fixed. Poor UJ had dropped a heavy cast iron pot lid on it and cracked the glass - as I returned home she met me at the front door to tell me that something dreadful had happened, and I thought it was some awful calamity involving Russian missiles and family in Kyiv, so when it was just cracked glass it felt quite trivial in comparison. Anyway, the repair man came and replaced it with very little fuss, and if I had paid more attention the first time then a second visit wouldn't have been necessary. The problem was a mismatch between the markings on the glass and the touch activation, so that I had to touch the controls about 1 cm to the right of the marking. Fixing this took the second repair man about 5 minutes.

I had the option to go to the Buddhist Centre for New Year's Eve, but I couldn't quite face the uncertainty of taking Pat with me not knowing how she would behave, so I just watched a film and read a book and had a quiet time. I took advantage of Pat's presence by arranging walks with five different friends - one of them after Pat had gone because we were both too busy beforehand.

And Ilf came for another day of helping out with things that need drilling, painting and/or two people, including hanging pictures, fixing the downstairs toilet door and the verandah outside, and a bit of painting. I did all the necessary cleaning following Pat's visit, although all her bedding is still in the boot of the car ready to go to the launderette. All is shipshape again and looking good for 2023.

Pat the dog

Through foreign eyes

Pat the dog, October 2022

UJ has been settling in nicely, and I find we have quite a lot in common. It was a little disturbing, however, to discover that I am only two years younger than her mother. She came with me to the Mitra ceremony at the Birmingham Buddhist Centre, and she would be interested in coming to our local meetings except that she has a group meeting on Zoom at the same time each week. She has started the dialogue with JobCentre Plus about employment and benefits, and has been exploring the delights of Leamington, including the sports centre, the library and the many charity shops. We went for a long walk with Pat the trainee Guide Dog at the weekend, and happened to meet a couple of Ukrainians from Kyiv with their dog. UJ told me that Leamington seems to have all the benefits of a city but with countryside just 20 minutes walk away. I completely agree.

Her family and many friends are still in Kyiv, and the last couple of weeks have been difficult after Putin decided to send his missiles further into Ukraine. All are well, thankfully. UJ started to inform me more about the political situation there at the same time as the Conservative conference in Birmingham was taking place with the omnishambles that is our Government, and I think Ukraine is winning every sanity point at the moment. But interesting to find that UJ is quite favourably disposed to Boris - I had forgotten that he had led the way in supporting Zelenskyy at the start of the war, although cynically I suspect that was in order to get away from what he was facing at home. The recent bombing of the land bridge linking Russia and the Crimea went down very well with UJ, with jokes and memes appearing almost instantly (e.g. that the bridge could be repaired with that weird long table that Putin used to see foreign diplomatic visitors).

I returned to the periodontist, who pronounced me "healed" at which point I waved my hands and shouted "Hallelujah", an instant later thinking "I hope he isn't a religious man..." My concern disappeared when he replied "Praise the Lord!" in similar vein. Unless he was serious? He wasn't serious. He is quite a funny man. Anyway, I was due to see my usual hygienist the next day, which would have given me a more objective view on how things are, but she was ill and I was brutalised by the main dentist instead. His assessment was not quite as brilliant as the periodontist, but still good, and the consultations about teeth-straightening will start soon.

Meanwhile UJ and I ventured to the town recycling centre with its incredibly cheap charity shop - UJ is every bit as keen on second-hand goods as I am, but our choices are somewhat different. Not surprisingly she is delighted by knick-knacks costing 25p that will be ideal for Christmas present for the folks back home. She pointed out a fancy phone cover for 50p, which would have cost many tens of pounds when new, that was actually made for my phone so I could replace my broken one. We have managed to coordinate a couple of evening meals, with me adding vegetables to her mainly protein/carb combinations. This seems to be my role in a number of settings...

Then I journeyed to London, where I was house sitting for a week while Mr M and Lola II are away on their huge adventure. (They have been reporting in daily, and some of the photos are stunning.) One day I had a lovely time in Kew Gardens with Sister D. Another day I visited the British Library, the Wellcome Collection and the Grant Museum of Zoology at UCL. I'd never been to this museum before, and it is essentially one large room with cabinets around the sides and in the middle containing thousands of specimens, mostly skeletal or preserved in jars but some stuffed examples and a few dissected. The lighting is poor and the cabinets go up to the ceiling so it isn't actually possible to see everything that's there.

Grant Museum of Zoology, October 2022

UJ also went to London for the first time ever, which she told me is her dream destination. On the first day she went to the National Gallery, and reported excitedly that she hadn't realised that all the good museums in London had no entry charge. The next day she was planning to see the Changing of the Guard, join a free walking tour based on Harry Potter, and go to the British Museum. She sent me a message to say that she was coming back on a two-storey bus. It is delightful.

Meanwhile I was present for the installation of the parents' new motorised garage door, which will make the storage of the mobility scooter easier. It went well and looks good, except the workmen didn't bring one of the agreed parts and will have to come back all the way from Luton to install a rubber threshold. Now mum has the bit between her teeth and is coordinating the sale of the car, as well as the choice of scooter, finding a new cleaner, helping the new neighbours to settle in and advising the woman over the road about options for her garage door. And she seems surprised that she is sometimes tired.

Kew Gardens, October 2022

The Games approach

Victoria Park, view from the Avenue Road entrance, July 2022

We are well into the period within which I have committed to doing much more than I should. I have most of the day 'free' today before I go to my next shift of volunteering (of which more later) so today will be full of all the things that have been postponed, including blogging. And pictures of the local preparations for the Commonwealth Games (CG) bowling.

View from Archery road (which will be obscured when they finish the stands)

While I was away camping and retreating there was a mini-drama about my very exciting CG uniform. I had been notified that it might be delivered while I was away, and that the delivery company would only hand it over in person, so I used the contact form to indicate when I wouldn't be there and asked that it might not be delivered during that time. The first response was that I would receive a notification and then have the opportunity to change the date, but I pointed out that while offline I wouldn't receive the notification. The next response was that my requirements had been passed onto the relevant team.

Then I received two emails on the same day from the delivery company, during the period I'd said I was unavailable for delivery, the first at 11.59 to say that the uniform would be delivered and the second at 13.30 to say that it had been delivered. I messaged the CG contact, and received the reply that they are very busy at the moment but will get onto it as soon as possible. When I got home there was a note from a lovely neighbour who had seen the box on my doorstep, i.e. on the pavement outside my house, and when it was (miraculously) still there next morning they took it inside. Eventually the CG team got back to me to say that the delivery company were still claiming that it was handed over in person. So all's well that ends well, but I wouldn't recommend that anyone uses Yodel.

View of Archery Road from the river walk

The Garage Door Man came round, straightened the bits of the lock that were bent during the attempted break-in (which means the door now locks properly again), and we had a very confusing conversation indeed about all the different options for updating the ancient mechanism. Eventually, when I realised I hadn't understood any of the options, I asked him what he would do. He found it equally hard to decide, and went away to find out whether my garage door was a standard size or not, which would influence other decisions. I await developments with low expectations.

Ongoing stand construction

Lola II and I had another great day out in Oxford, which is a convenient distance for both of us to meet, but which is terribly deficient in cake supply. After checking out the Weston Library exhibitions - this time they were about the discovery of Tutankhamun's tomb and the different sensory experiences of books - we went to the University Botanic Garden. This ought to be the perfect setting for Lemon Drizzle by the river but instead it has a tiny coffee stand with no more than a flapjack or two. Not that I'm eating cake at the moment - the very exciting Commonwealth Games trousers are a little tight around the middle...

The next day contained the second lot of periodontal surgery in the morning, and a badminton club dinner in the evening, which I attended to say hello but left when the food arrived. The surgery this time was more extensive and involved the lower jaw, which the periodontist warned me would be worse than the previous one, and  indeed it is. A week later and I'm still feeling rather delicate and sore, and very much hoping that it will be worth it. I'll find out in three months' time.

No left turn

There have been other trips and calls and activities, but the two other matters worth reporting are the local preparations for the Commonwealth Games and my volunteering at the Warwick Folk Festival.

The CG construction teams moved into the park and the local streets just over a week ago. They put up the perimeter barriers, which contain about half of the area of the park and extend into the streets, removing about half the parking spots for the residents of our three streets. Detailed plans have been drawn up to give us all alternative places to park nearby as well as the option to book slots for deliveries and carers, and although I have the convenience of the garage I think it is no more than mildly inconvenient for most people, and will only last for one month. One neighbour is not so phlegmatic and is incensed by the whole thing; I have frequently seen his car parked in areas that have been allocated for other purposes.

Pedestrian access only to houses at the park end of Archery Road

Anyway, it all kicks off in a week's time, and I'm sure it will be very interesting to see how the spectators are managed when arriving and departing and how much more inconvenient it may become. In the meantime I have started my volunteering role at the Warwick Folk Festival, which is taking place in the grounds of Warwick Castle, in a field next to the Castle's overflow parking. My job for the first two days during set-up has been to manage the main gate which has a narrow approach allowing traffic in only one direction at a time. I have been stationed at the far end of this approach with a walky-talky which I use when vehicles arrive to check that nothing is coming the other way.

My first shift was for four hours during the hottest part of the heatwave we have just endured. Luckily someone had a chair for me to use, but I had assumed I would be working with other people so I hadn't brought a book. There was hardly any traffic at all, so I mostly sat very still in the shade with my eyes closed, and it wasn't too bad, and certainly easy compared with those who were building stages and constructing lighting rigs. The second shift was in the same spot, and I had brought my own chair and a book, but there was much more traffic so very little time to sit and read - the overflow parking was in use so I was dealing with visitors to the Castle as well as traffic for the festival. My remaining two shifts will be in the Radio Room when the festival has actually started, which sounds quite exciting. I'm very glad I won't be managing that gate when the festival is live.

Solar panels in Victoria Park