Boosting and excitement

Riverhill Himalayan Gardens, June 2021

Happy Christmas! I'm off enjoying myself with friends, but here's a scheduled post for you to enjoy.

My last vaccination shift was more interesting than the previous ones. Not because we were busy - oh no, in a 12-hour shift from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. there were a total of 83 customers. Someone offered a different theory this time: being aware that the Covid vaccine can make you feel a bit rough for a day or two, perhaps people are too busy in the run up to Christmas to risk any self-inflicted illness? But I think it's more likely lack of advertising of the availability of walk-in as well as booked appointments, and the terrible historical situation of parking at the hospital, even though there is designated and available free parking for the vaccination clinic. And it's partly because that day we were offering the Moderna booster, and quite a few people wanted Pfizer so went away without getting their vaccine.

Anyway, I had been ignoring the fact that a couple of my mandatory training modules were overdue. I had done all the online modules, but hadn't bothered with the in-person sessions because prior to all the vaccine booster action I had thought I might not get any more shifts. But eventually I had to confess, and was allowed time off from the vaccination shift for my resuscitation and manual handling training, because with on average only one person coming in every eight minutes I could be spared for an hour or two. 

Both modules are required annually so I've done them many times before, but this year the Covid precautions have been incorporated into the resuscitation training. In reality (not the training) everyone would have to dress up in PPE with special masks for a cardiac arrest because cardiac compressions are potentially aerosol-generating procedures. The poor unconscious patient's face even has to be covered until everyone is protected and before the oxygen mask is applied. Other than that it's all pretty much the same as in previous years, with the fancy shmancy defibrillator telling you whether your compressions are the right speed and the right depth and when to stand clear while it analyses the heart rhythm and tells you whether to apply a shock or not.

So that all went well, and I came back to the vaccine clinic and the next person I vaccinated was so incredibly wound up for their first dose that we arranged to vaccinate them on the couch rather than sitting up on a chair, where they promptly fainted. The trainer who half an hour before had been assessing my abilities to carry out chest compressions and use the defibrillator gave me a wave of recognition as she turned up in response to the medical emergency call. The patient woke up before too long and was eventually transferred to the main hospital observation ward. They didn't look too bad as they left our clinic, all things considered. At least I'd managed to give them one dose of the vaccine.

There was no such excitement after my manual handling training, which contained the usual 'pick up this empty box from this trolley and put it on the floor, then pick it up again and put it back on the trolley'. The trainer was a most amusing man who tried to give the dry material a little bit of interest by incorporating a quiz, which I won (simply by participating while almost everyone else sat mute and embarrassed). The prize appeared to be an ex-library book about mental health in primary care, and despite the protests of the trainer I didn't take it away with me. He also peppered his talk with anecdotes including the one about the hoist that fell on the patient when the brakes were wrongly applied, and the one about the person who tried to remove his contact lens with tweezers.

One of the other members of the vaccination team sought me out in the afternoon specifically to ask me if I was all right after the fainting episode. This team are really nice to work with. I've booked another shift in January after all my holidays are over.

Boosting and boredom

Witley Court, June 2021

Not much of note going on here at Lola Towers as the winter sets in, and we are approaching a time when we ought to stop socialising due to the ongoing pandemic, but instead we are about to embark on the annual round of super-socialising. Our leaders have nobody's interests in mind but their own and those of their rich friends, and consider the rules designed to keep us safe and the NHS tottering on applicable to anyone but themselves. It is contemptible.

With that off my chest, I can report that the vaccine booster programme seemed likely to need all the people it could muster, so thinking I would be needed I logged on to see what vaccination shifts might be available, and signed up to a few. On the first of these, quite a few people joined me who had not been vaccinating regularly for a few months, and there weren't many of us, so I was ready to be rushed off my feet. During the whole 8-hour shift only 150 people turned up to be vaccinated (at our busiest we can manage between 500 and 600) and I nearly died of boredom. 

The next shift was similarly well-staffed, and even fewer people came. I volunteered to go home early - in the remaining 6 hours there were only 24 people booked in. We think that the main problem is lack of advertising the availability of vaccination boosters, combined with the hospital's notorious parking problems. But we may be wrong. Other parts of the country are reporting 4-hour waiting times. In our little Portakabin nobody waited more than 30 seconds.

Back home Ilf had finished the majority of the decorating except for a couple of bits where the damp was evident, and Glf the builder came to have a look. He will come back in the spring for the pointing, and recommended a roofer who has not yet turned up. The LTRP really is a gift that keeps on giving. I was also quite uncertain about the colour I had chosen for the hall, which ought to be apricot but looks suspiciously pink in certain lighting conditions. I am getting used to it.

There has been a badminton match, which we won, and a trip to see mum and dad in which I battled with the phone and broadband company, and I think we won that bout as well. I dithered about whether it would be responsible to attend various social events, and decided to cancel the Buddhist film night but attend the Mr MXF company Christmas dinner, which was lovely. I even visited Lola II and Mr M on the way, and it's been a long time since I was there.

Christmas cards are written and sent and the few presents I require are wrapped and waiting downstairs. All that's needed now is for the Government to institute further measures to try and prevent the NHS from being overwhelmed. I wonder if they will?

Just one book this time

Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
by Robert M. Pirsig

"Here is an unforgettable narration of a summer motorcycle trip across America's Northwest, undertaken by a father and his young son. A story of love and fear, of growth, discovery and acceptance, that becomes a profound personal and philosophical odyssey into life's fundamental questions."

I first read this book either in my late teens or early twenties, which was in the mid-1980's. It made such a huge impression on me that it became my favourite book, always number 1 whenever I was asked. And yet I'm not sure that I have ever read it again. Why is that, when it is my 'favourite book'?

I think it might be about denial and delayed gratification and my upbringing and 'conditions', as the Buddhists would say.

Once, I was given a present of a painting kit. It was a brilliant present, I was delighted and excited and looked forward to opening the box and getting it out and painting the picture. But I never did. I never even opened the box, and the only reason I can put forward, with hindsight half a century later, is that once it was painted I wouldn't be able to look forward to it any more. Somehow, looking forward to it was better and more pleasurable than actually painting it.

It's possible that's why I never re-read my favourite book. Imagining reading it was giving me such pleasure that actually reading it might be a disappointment.

Well, no longer. I have been trying for quite a while to simplify my life and dispose of possessions, and one of the ways to do that has been to whittle down my collection of books, which means re-reading some of the old ones. And going away for a week's retreat would provide lots of reading time. (It didn't, but that's another story). I picked this book out, my favourite book, to re-read at long last.

If I'm honest, I was pretty nervous. If I didn't like it, what would that mean? But I was also fascinated to find out, and see if the past became present and maybe I'd gain more insight into myself 40 years ago.

Reading the book was fine. It was illuminating. It was thought provoking. I realised that at the same time as I was reading and taking in the story I was also evaluating the experience and bringing to mind my earlier self - what did she see in it? how come it made that number 1 spot in the favourite book charts? would I still put it there? I was reading it as me now and marvelling at that young woman.

It is a complicated book weaving together two completely different stories - one about a man on a motorcycle road trip with his son, and the other about an earlier time in his life before he became insane. I have been surprised to detect in it many of the seeds of my current situation, some Buddhist philosophy, and I wonder if I had followed up and paid more attention to the content I may have made better choices and approached equanimity sooner. But I think that the words and sentences and paragraphs of strange philosophical description spoke to that young woman because it described something she recognised about the way her mind worked that seemed to be different from how everyone else's minds seemed to work, on the scanty evidence she could glean from what they said and did.

[Writing this, here, in this moment, I have been struck like a thunderbolt by the fact that the author refers to his former self in the third person, as if he were a separate being, and I have unintentionally done exactly the same thing.]

On the retreat and in general within the Buddhist context, much time is spent talking about the mind, how it works, how to access its tendencies, how to influence and change it. As someone who has little access to the workings of her own mind and no particular affinity for psychology, this is always a struggle. Occasionally I get a little glimpse of some truth before it scurries away and hides behind some neurones and synapses. 

Year 2 of my study class is more challenging too, and we are encouraged to present a 'project' after each module, to expand on something that we have found interesting. I had a mini crisis at the end of the latest module, and after a kind and supportive conversation with our teacher I was given a dispensation - I wouldn't have to present a project if I didn't want to. Almost immediately I discovered that I did want to, following a chance comment by one of the group alongside an experience I had on my previous retreat.

That other retreat was at the headquarters of the Buddhist movement I've joined, where the founder lived at the end of his life and where he is buried. He was a voracious reader as well as an inspirational teacher (I'm told), and created a whole movement from nothing at all but his passion for the Buddha's teaching. Anyway, one of the buildings in that centre is the Library, so I thought I'd have a look at that, and was puzzled to see no more than a couple of bookcases. Another small room seemed to have some more books, but there was someone there working at a table in the middle.

"Are you the librarian?" I asked.

"Not exactly," she said.

"Can I come in and have a look?"

"Of course."

So there were about ten more bookcases, and not all that interesting - they contained translations of other books into various languages as well as some texts from different Buddhist traditions (e.g. Zen, Tibetan and others). But I had a good look just in case there were any more interesting titles, and after I got to the end, the Non-Librarian said: "Would you like to see the other books?"

It turned out there were two more whole rooms crammed with books of all sorts, the 'real' collection. Actually, not all sorts. There was every philosophy book and author, plenty on religion and faith, nature, arts and humanities, poetry, and probably more that I can't remember. But nothing about science beyond James Lovelock and Bill Bryson. It is clear that the founder of the movement was hugely charismatic, well read, and inspirational, but he was not a scientist.

Until I met Buddhism my faith was science - perhaps I should call it Scientism. Now I am a Scientist Buddhist, or a Buddhist Scientist - the two faiths coexist very nicely with barely any contradiction. And this is what I'm going to talk about for my project, specifically about the preciousness of life, the certainty of death, along with the usual 'Actions Have Consequences' and the existence of suffering. But that's not what this blog post is about.

I finished my 'favourite' book at home after my retreat had ended, and pondered what might have resonated so strongly with my earlier self. It must have been a challenging read, and I doubt that I understood half of it. It's probably the only book on philosophy that I would have read until recently. Maybe I thought it would reflect well on me to have this favourite book? Anyway, I have concluded that I can't say why it became a favourite, and while I found it satisfying to read again I think I will have to demote it from the top spot, which means that 'Catch 22' is promoted to number 1. Now that's a book that I have re-read several times, and it still delivers.

A cold welcome home

Taraloka Retreat Centre, November 2021

It seems like a long time ago that I went off on retreat for a week into the wilds of the Shropshire-Powys border land. It was a peaceful, contemplative interlude, allowing all the responsibilities of ordinary life to be shelved for a while, where all I needed to do was keep an eye on my watch and turn up for things. And if I hadn't turned up and had missed a few things, that would have been fine too. It was wonderful.

Anyway, coming back to the real world I made a mental note to turn the heating down next time rather than turning it off altogether for a week. I spent all of Sunday out of the cold house, however, doing a busy vaccination shift during which it snowed quite heavily. It took about three days for the temperature in the house to rise to a comfortable level, but it did give me an excuse for lighting a real fire, the first this winter.

Ilf was booked in to start the next phase of LTRP decoration this week, in the porch and hall downstairs. He had somehow forgotten that there is always more complexity when it comes to my jobs and had only allowed three days, within which he managed only a little actual decorating. This is partly because I rely on him for other jobs around the house (he put up some shelves for me and cleaned some high windows this time) and also because of the damp I mentioned before, which delayed some of the painting. Dlf the Damp Man came round on Wednesday, but Ilf and I had already come to the conclusion that it's probably cracks in the mortar letting water penetrate, and I need pointing. Glf is coming round next week to have a look.

While he was here, Ilf mentioned one of his other customers who is having difficulty booking and attending a vaccination session because of being new to the area and not having a car. So I offered to help out, which is one of the delightful aspects of being able to organise my working life at my own convenience.

What else? I have been to an Orthodontist to explore the option of improving the state of my teeth using an alignment device - the invisible braces that have replaced the metal 'birdcage' that I wore in my teens. This only raised further questions, so it's back to the dentist to talk about what's next. My work for Mr MXF reached an impasse in trying to create an online shop using one approach, so I now have a different approach to explore, this time using strange creatures like Gitlab, Github, Gitpod and Cuttlebelle to learn how to build a website. And there has been badminton again - my back has recovered enough to play (and win) a match.

The canal at Taraloka

What I've been reading

Mind In Harmony
by Subhuti

"The author describes the mind from the Buddhist point of view, and shows how such knowledge can help us live a more satisfactory life."

This is a set text for a retreat I'm attending, otherwise I don't think I would have gone near it. I am thoroughly baffled by psychology, don't have much insight into my own mind, and find the incessant listing of types of this and that quite irritating. So the idea of 51 mental events consisting of constants, intensifiers, positives, afflictions, secondary afflictions and variables is not my cup of tea. But I've done my reading so let's hope the retreat helps me understand the subject better.

A Fine Balance
by Rohinton Mistry

narrated by Vikas Adam

"The time is 1975. The government has just declared a State of Emergency, and four strangers - a spirited widow, a young student, and two tailors who have fled the caste violence of their native village - are thrust together, forced to share one cramped apartment and an uncertain future."

I came upon books about the Indian subcontinent by accident. I write 'Indian subcontinent' because my grasp of nationality is not accurate there, but there has been Salman Rushdie, Arundhati Roy, R. K. Narayan, V. S. Naipaul, M. M. Kaye and probably more that I don't remember, and I have enjoyed reading all of them. It's not easy reading, and this book has its share of terrible events, but all these authors have managed to evoke something that I can connect with. I have never been to India, and I don't think I particularly want to go there, but I certainly love reading about it. This book is set in the 1970s during the 'Emergency' declared by Indira Gandhi, and life for the poor is mostly uncertain and terrible, and the end is not happy, but it was satisfying to read, and that is what I look for in my books.

The Songlines
by Bruce Chatwin

"The songlines are the invisible pathways that criss-cross Australia, ancient tracks connecting communities and following ancient boundaries. Along these lines Aboriginals passed the songs which revealed the creation of the land and the secrets of its past. "

Like Indian stories, I remember reading about Australia in the past, and finding the huge bulk of Robert Hughes' seminal work 'The Fatal Shore' surprisingly readable and enjoyable. This book has been on my shelves among books that are there because I love them, but re-reading has been such a disappointment that I'm not sure why I ever kept it.

Brewster's Millions
by George Barr McCutcheon

narrated by Bronson Pinchot

"With the passing of his beloved grandfather, Monty Brewster inherits a long-anticipated million dollars. But he suddenly discovers that he can inherit seven times as much from his eccentric uncle if he spends every cent of his grandfather's money within a year."

An entertaining book well narrated, and good enough that it's been made into a film more than once. I can't help thinking that if I were in a similar position I'd be very happy with the first million, especially as this was written in 1902 when a million dollars was worth even more than it is today.

It's Not Out There
by Danapriya

"Most of us constantly look outside ourselves for something: happiness, love, contentment. But this something is not out there. It is within us. This book uncovers the fertile ground of your own potential, and enables you to live the life you are here for."

Another Buddhist book, a fairly lightweight one this time. I think I bought it after the author did his book tour via Zoom and seemed a very personable chap. I think it would be a useful introduction to Buddhist principles (if not Buddhism itself) for someone who was dissatisfied with their life and wanted some ideas.

Back pain and damp

Malvern, May 2021

I left you in pain at the end of the last blog post with my hurty knee and hip. By Tuesday this had progressed to dreadful spasms of my lower back muscles. I could be entirely comfortable standing, sitting or lying still, especially with a hot water bottle on my lower back, but most movement caused shooting pains.

Despite this I decided to go to mum's birthday celebration, as both Lola II and Sister D would be coming too. Sitting down to lunch along with dad as well we decided that this was probably the first time the five of us had eaten together at this same table for between 30 and 40 years - either one of us had been elsewhere or there had been husbands, children/grandchildren or other guests present. It was lovely. Mum reflected that if she'd been asked 10 years ago, she wouldn't have believed she'd still be with us. We're hoping to do the same for dad's birthday next year.

In the evening I went over to see a friend I used to go to school with who now lives locally. One of her daughters also went to the same school, which has changed in 45 years from being almost exclusively white (there were two non-white girls in my year) to being nearly completely non-white, and now focussing strongly on 'STEM' subjects: science, technology, engineering and maths. Most pupils go on to study medicine, dentistry and pharmacy. I suppose this must reflect the change in local population too. Apart from the 'old timers' like my parents who have been there more than 50 years, the newer residents tend to be from Asian backgrounds.

I drove on from there to see a friend in Dartford, then drove home. The state of my back wasn't great, but sitting and driving weren't too bad so I didn't cancel my vaccination shift on Friday. I really should have. It lasted 11 hours, and by the time I got home I managed a cup of tea and slice of toast then lay on my huge comfortable soft sofa with a hot water bottle as the pain gently melted away. It was a struggle to get up to bed, but I was nearly pain-free next morning. Unfortunately, getting up and moving around still generated the muscle spasms so the pain returned during the day, but at least I had no more work or travel to do and could spend more time immobile.

Since then I've been mostly resting, interspersed with watching television, communicating online and trying not to drop things that need picking up. Thankfully I haven't had any trouble sleeping. I think it's improving slowly, but it's already been a week and I'm a bit fed up with the pain and lack of mobility.

And then, a huge setback for the LTRP. The auditorium (front room adjacent to the street) has been smelling a bit musty for about a month, and I finally investigated and found damp around all the outside walls rising from the skirting board. Well, with the last rooms about to be decorated, Lola Towers was probably imagining that attention might soon be diverted from serving its needs on a full time basis, and decided to remind me of its importance. I've called the damp men back in to have a look.

Weekend with Caddie

November 2021

My first Guide Dog boarder has been a black Labrador/Retriever cross called Caddie, 18 months old and about six weeks into her Guide Dog training. I was introduced to her at the training centre where she seemed very pleased to meet me, jumping up and generally being far too excited for quite a long time. This was mentioned as something that might be a problem if I were introducing her to visitors, but I reassured the trainer that I wasn't expecting any visitors. 

As a boarding volunteer I was given a collar, leash and harness for the dog, which I keep afterwards for any future dogs. I was also given a bag containing food for the weekend already weighed into bags, some poo bags, a sachet of special treats (disgusting stinky whole dried sprats), some food-based toys and three of Caddie's favourite soft toys - a moose, a duck and a big teddy. I was shown how to put the harness on her (it's a bit complicated) and how to get her in and out of the car. We practised that a few times. There was a lot to remember! Then off we went, and I began to feel the responsibility of what I had taken on.

As I drove the short distance home, I realised that I would need to plan my approach when we got there - how was I going to safely get the car in the garage and the dog out of the car and carry all the bags and shut the garage door and open the front door with only two hands?

After I'd managed all that, I introduced Caddie gradually to the downstairs rooms and the garden. Thankfully she didn't show any interest in going upstairs, at least not to start with. Of course she definitely preferred lying on the carpets and rugs to the tiles, hard wood and laminate flooring. She understood where her bed was, and didn't try to get up on the furniture, and was calm and quiet and didn't get excited at all while she was in the house with me, not even when there were fireworks going off and she was in the garden. I decided to sit down and have a cup of tea and think about what to do next, and she brought her toys and had a lie down next to me. It couldn't have got off to a better start.

The evening continued without incident, and because I'd been told not to leave her overnight in a room with a sofa, her bed had to be in the hall. Either I would have to shut her in there, in which case I wouldn't be able to hear her if there was a problem, or I could make up a bed for myself on the living room sofa. It's a very large and comfortable sofa so it wasn't a problem for me to sleep there on Friday and on Saturday, and everything was fine, and Caddie kindly brought me a toy when she could hear that I'd woken up. On Sunday night I shut her in and slept upstairs, and that was fine too even though I didn't get a toy brought to me in the morning.

On Saturday I'd arranged to go for a walk with friends who have been boarding Guide Dogs for a little while - they now have their third dog, who happens to be Caddie's brother from the same litter. They were very excited to meet each other, but calmed down a bit while they walked. Caddie wasn't walking with a loose leash like I'd been shown at the centre, but I put it down to the excitement of being with her brother. It was a long walk, and I was pulled along the whole time, but I thought I'd address it the following day when we'd go for a quieter walk on our own.

Well, the pulling continued on Sunday. I tried all the techniques I'd been shown - standing still, doing a complicated figure of eight move, using the relevant command ('Steady') but nothing worked. Worse still, whenever a dog appeared (and there are A LOT of dogs in Leamington on a Sunday) Caddie pulled as hard as she could to get up close and play and wouldn't pay any attention to anything else while the dog was there. I'd planned to do a longish circuit of the common but cut the whole thing short and brought her back after about 20 minutes. The worst thing is that all the pulling has brought back the right hip and left knee pain that was previously caused by running and which I spent so long sorting out with rest and physiotherapy.

Monday morning came and I was more confident of reversing the whole process of opening front door, opening garage, bag and dog into car. Except that Caddie had other ideas, and really didn't fancy jumping into the car. I had the opportunity to chat with a couple of my lovely neighbours who happened to be passing while this situation developed, but when they'd gone I got out one of the horrible stinky dried fish treats (which I had to touch with my actual hand) and in she went like a dream.

I've given a bit of feedback to the trainer, and asked her to call me if she wants the full story. Then I'll be waiting to hear from the volunteer coordinator about what happens next.

Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth

Email, a dog and a demo

June 2021

Despite not having a full time permanent job, I feel that I have been stretching myself too thinly by agreeing to anything that I'm offered to do. It's been a long time since the last blog post and much has been going on. I have been on a demo (more on this later), had an interesting discussion with the dentist, played badminton, attended a lovely day with my Buddhist group, started running again with the help of new shoes (no knee problems so far), did an 11 hour vaccinating shift, and entertained another guest at the weekend who came to a gig with me. 

I also achieved a significant step forward with the website work for Mr MXF, and simultaneously deactivated my family email. I have been working out how to move a number of domains that Mr MXF hosts for friends and family from a flaky unreliable server to a lovely new home. We were getting very close, the new server was all set up and all the test domains were working, so it was time to do it for real. What I hadn't understood, and maybe you won't either, was the the old host included a mail server and the new one didn't. Which is why the email broke when we moved.

I had to spend quite a lot of time moving that one domain back to the old server to make the family email work again before considering how to fix the problem. The first attempt to fix it didn't work because the mail client used by mum and dad is very, very old (1997 vintage) and I don't want them to have to learn a new interface. The second attempt was successful, and what's more the new way of working means much less spam reaching the client end. I once heard a transplant surgeon describe how happy he feels to see urine passing out of a new kidney after a transplant, and my delight at seeing emails being sent and received was probably similar.

Before all this happened, I was honoured by a visit from mum, who was conveyed back and forth by Lola II. She reviewed all the changes wrought by the LTRP and pronounced them very fine, we ate, drank and were merry and had brunch in Leamington on Sunday which was very tasty but very badly served. The very next day Sister D came for a visit, and helped me a great deal by listing on Freegle all the superfluous items that I retrieved from storage in the loft. In return I treated her to a much better lunch at a different establishment in Leamington (which had been full when we tried going there with mum). Nearly all the things we listed have now been collected, and I have also collected a second hand dog bed and dog bowls, so I'm ready for my first canine boarder.

Yes, I went to the Guide Dogs centre for a training session - training for me, not the dog, which was five weeks in to its programme and doing pretty well except for not wanting to sit when asked. I learned how to get it in and out of the car and quite a few other commands, as well as how to stop it pulling on the leash. I was very happy with how it went, and so was the trainer, and my first dog will be coming to stay very soon.

The demo was outside the House of Lords to support the second reading of the Assisted Dying Bill, organised by the Dignity in Dying organisation, and there were probably more than 100 people there. We were offered a T-shirt or a hoodie with the Dignity in Dying logo, and a placard, and I chatted with lots of different people who were there for all sorts of reasons. I met someone who also lives in Leamington Spa, and I'm told by other friends that a woman was there who went to the same senior school as me. Many had personal experience of helping a family member to travel to Dignitas in Switzerland, and there were doctors and palliative care workers and a few speakers including Baroness Meacher (who had put forward the Bill). George Carey (former Archbishop of Canterbury) came out towards the end of the debate to say how confident he was that it would pass because the vast majority of those who spoke had been in favour. Getting it through the House of Commons will be a whole lot harder, though.

Now I'm going to have a couple of days off to do all the things that have been waiting for my attention, but I'll do them slowly and have lots of breaks!

What I've been reading

A Kestrel for a Knave
by Barry Hines

"Billy Casper is beaten by his drunken brother, ignored by his mother and failing at school. He seems destined for a hard, miserable life down the pits, but for a brief time, he finds one pleasure in life: a wild kestrel that he has raised and tamed himself."

A wonderful and poignant story of a boy who doesn't have a lot going for him, and the kestrel he has raised and trained. I'm sure I would love this book even if I didn't love birds of prey, but the descriptions of the bird and its flight are as beautiful, wild and fierce as the kestrel itself.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
by J. K. Rowling

"Harry has a lot on his mind for this, his fifth year at Hogwarts: a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher with a personality like poisoned honey; a big surprise on the Gryffindor Quidditch team; and the looming terror of the Ordinary Wizarding Level exams."

I don't think I liked this book as much on first reading, but this time I found it pretty good - and difficult to put down as it reached its climax. If I had a criticism it would be there wasn't enough nice stuff going on, and too much arguing, anger and frustration.

The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman
by Laurence Sterne

"No one description will fit this strange, eccentric, endlessly complex masterpiece. It is a joyful celebration of the infinite possibilities of the art of fiction, and a wry demonstration of its limitations."

This is a classic book that I had thought was the first of its kind - an English novel. He references Cervantes and Don Quixote quite frequently, so it's clearly not the first novel, and it's doesn't have a recognisable story other than snippets of the lives of Tristram, his mother and father, his uncle Toby and Corporal Trim and a few other characters. The nine volumes within the book are characterised by digressions within digressions, and for addressing the readers, and no doubt for a catalogue of other quirks not known before in English writing. I got to the end, but I can't say I enjoyed it. I'm am, however, pleased to be able to say that I've now read this book as part of my literary education.

Retreat

Adhisthana, October 2021

I've been away on a lovely retreat in the Herefordshire countryside. Because the retreat centre is situated close to where Bee Lady and Landrover Man live, I arranged to drop in on them for lunch before the retreat started. 

I was all ready, packed, sorted, had bought some chocolates as a present for BL and LRM, and was on my way home from a vaccination shift when the car started to sound odd. I stopped, about a mile from home, and discovered that I had a puncture.

First I was cross, mainly with myself, because the garage had pointed out the state of my tyres at my MOT but said they probably had about two to three thousand miles left in them and it was two thousand miles since then. Then I pulled myself together, opened the boot and had a rummage. It's been a very long time since the heady days when I considered myself even slightly competent at manual tasks - with relative wealth comes the ability to delegate unwanted tasks to paid help. Anyway, there was a wheel, a jack and various other bits and pieces including a gadget that turned out to be for getting the fancy bolt covers off the bolts, and the special shaped anti-theft lock nut, so I knuckled down and got started.

No fewer than three people stopped to offer help, and I expect more would have done so except that when the third one turned up I was having a bit of trouble getting the wheel off, so he did it for me and then put the spare on and tightened the bolts and recommended his preferred tyre place in town. Except that it was now 5.02 p.m. and they shut at 4.30. Kwik Fit, however, was still open even though they shut at 5, and I asked them very nicely if they would mind helping, and they did. So I gave them BL and LRM's chocolate, and wrapped up some flowers that had been in my house for a week or so to give to BL and LRM instead.

Bee Lady and Former Landrover Man are very well, and living in a new place with different walks, so we had lunch and did a walk and it was lovely. Then on to the retreat which allowed me to turn off all electronics for nearly a week - no social media, internet, email, nothing. It was like taking life and pressing pause. My only responsibilities were to try and keep and eye on the time and turn up for things like meals and talks, but if I hadn't even done that it would still have been fine.

Coming home and plunging straight back into the modern world after that sort of break can be jarring, so I didn't turn the phone or computer on for a day, but manage to get jobs done in a meditative way, like more pruning, laundry, cooking. While I'd been away Glf had finished the pointing, which looks very fine and makes me happy that there's only one job left in the first round of the LTRP - decorating the porch and downstairs hall.

And then I turned all the gadgets back on, but tried very hard not to go down some of the rabbit holes that suck time out of my life, and I've done quite well so far. I have another retreat booked (at a different centre) in November, to top up my level of chill.

Let the Games Begin!

Birmingham, September 2021

A busy week after the week's holiday, starting with a trip to see mum and dad that incorporated a Zoom interview with Guide Dogs. I thought it went pretty well, and they sent me a lot of information to read afterwards. I will be invited to the centre in person to meet a dog handler next, but haven't heard anything yet. On a subsequent visit to mum and dad I helped them get to their Covid booster jab appointment. The chap who was checking appointment times and supervising the 15-minute wait recognised mum as the person who had taught his daughter 13 years previously. Just like at the cemetery earlier in the year...

I was intending to do lots for Mr MXF this week, but kept finding more pressing things to do, including another walk with the Leamington History Group, taking another 10 bags of garden cuttings to the tip,  and cleaning the house from top to bottom (it really needed it). But I did get round to a bit of work, and by this week I'd really got to the bottom of one of the problems I was having. Progress at last - Mr MXF always seems delighted at what I've managed to do, even if I do get the impression that he would have been able to achieve the same results in a tenth of the time.

Thursday badminton has started again, and hasn't gone too badly despite the fact that a whole lot of members have decided not to return. I'm one of the younger players in the Thursday club, and I think during the prolonged break many older members found better things to do, and they also are more aware of the risks of returning to serious exercise in an enclosed space. In contrast I'm one of the older players in my Monday club, which seems to be thriving, but I'm still doing the Buddhism class on Mondays so can't go.

I signed up to a whole lot of lectures as part of the Cambridge Alumni Festival, including subjects as diverse as punishment in Victorian workhouses, the treachery of Edward VIII (the Duke of Windsor), the Whipple Museum of the History of Science, the latest thinking about Calories, the role of the statistician during a pandemic, the gut microbiome, and the history of computing at Cambridge University. All very interesting, with the oddest thing being the nature of actually listening to a live talk. All programming used to be like this - you can't pause the talk if the phone or doorbell rings - but it's been a long time since I've listened to anything live.

The next phase of the LTRP continues with the pointing of my wall on the pub garden side. While I was away camping, Glf was digging out the old decaying mortar, which generated a vast amount of dust. While in the wilds of Yorkshire with no phone signal I missed several calls from the pub manager followed by a very cross message saying that the dust was all over his pub furniture and he was going to charge me for cleaning it. I managed to get hold of Glf, who was very apologetic and agreed to get in touch with him, after which I got another message from the pub manager asking me to ignore the previous message as he'd calmed down a bit now. Glf was back this week to do the pointing, and it all looks very lovely.

The most interesting thing to happen recently has been my interview for the role of volunteer at the Commonwealth Games next year. It started badly due to the train sitting at an intermediate station for a whole hour ('a fault on the track'), but the kind volunteer at the venue (Birmingham's Central Library) fast-tracked me through so I didn't miss my time slot. 

First there was an exhibit all about the different venues that will be used, with cases showing things like medals and videos showing highlights from the last Games. Then there was a ridiculously over-the-top video which stated that without question the Commonwealth Games would be the greatest event that the world had ever seen and would end all disease and war and bring together the whole nation/Commonwealth in a frenzy of joy and positivity. I'm not joking - at that point I truly thought that if they wanted me to reflect this level of enthusiasm I would have to withdraw my application. 

Luckily the interview itself was much more sensible, and all I had to do was come up with some examples of times when I had e.g. been interested in sport, showed some initiative, communicated within a team, put myself forward for something a bit challenging etc. Running a conference for RNIB, being thoroughly obsessed with badminton and volunteering to be a Covid vaccinator provided plenty of satisfactory material. Then I was measured for a uniform (including hat), had my photo taken, and that was it. I'll find out in the New Year whether I've been picked, and if so, for what role.

Lolatastic in the Yorkshire Dales

Buckden, September 2021 (photos by Mr M, Lola II and Lola I)

Another successful camping trip undertaken, this time in the splendid company of Lola II and Mr M. The campsite was on a farm in the middle of the Yorkshire Dales National Park, and when I say in the middle, it really was. We were there for four days, the weather was mostly kind, and Lola II made notes so that I can put extra detail into the blog. Whether I satisfy her or not is another matter...

Monday

The campsite was long and narrow, and we pitched our tents facing one another at the far end of the site, down a short slope. The first day is always spent getting there (I stopped for lunch at an unlikely vegan cafe north of Bradford), pitching the tent, getting all the gear sorted out, getting familiar with the campsite facilities and planning the next few days. 

Unusually there was a little kitchen with a kettle, fridge and microwave as well as the usual toilets and showers, so hot water bottles could be filled very easily rather than boiling water in pans. In the toilets there was free midge spray - not a good omen. We were tormented by midges in the evenings to the extent that we couldn't eat out in the open but had to retreat to the zipped-up porch of the tent.

Because the Leamington Food Festival had been taking place over the weekend, I brought a contribution for our dinner - two different felafel bakes, which confusingly turned out to be three different types, and tasted just OK. Lola II and Mr M contributed the most delicious French cheese and crackers, made even more delicious by the fact that I very rarely have cheese at home. And dessert wine. These guys know about high class camping.

The tiny village with the farm and campsite also contained a tiny village shop (which we visited the following day) and a rather nice pub. It's been ages since I was in a pub so I was quite excited when a visit was proposed, and it also meant that we could charge electrical items and get a decent mobile signal and escape the midges too. The beer was tasty as well, although of course Lola II ordered her traditional lime cordial with water, but also treated herself to a hot chocolate with Baileys in it.

Tuesday

The sky was grey and the forecast was for showers, but we decided to get out while it was still dry and planned a short walk to the next village where there was a pub, although the information provided said there was no food on Monday and Tuesday evenings. The walk took us up high on the way there before dropping down into Starbotton and the pub, which turned out to be closed altogether on Tuesdays. Big disappointment - we were hungry. The walk back was along the river, and then we drove to Hawes and a very late lunch. Mine was a 'half portion' of fish and chips with peas and salad which was so big that I was glad I hadn't ordered a whole portion, Mr M had chips with cheese and gravy, and Lola II went for egg, sausage, chips and beans. Not quite so high class today.

We didn't do much more in Hawes except top up our chocolate and cheese supplies before driving back in the rain. After a nap we went off to the pub again, and despite  arriving 10 minutes after the kitchen closed they were kind enough to let us order food anyway.

Wednesday

Sunshine! Today the walk took us to Malham Cove, which is a famous attraction formed by river and glacial erosion. A dry river valley ends in a spectacular limestone pavement and cliffs (which featured in one of the Harry Potter films). We did the circular walk starting from the top, so were able to descend the hundreds of steps rather than climbing up them. We met a school party coming up - we didn't envy the staff in charge, given the unprotected nature of the drop from the top. 

We made it to Malham village for a pub lunch before returning over the heathland, passing a few notable features including the ice cream van, more waterfalls and cliffs with climbers abseiling around them, and an abandoned bath tub miles from any habitation or road. I really enjoyed the walk; Lola II and Mr M found it a bit challenging, but the roles were reversed the following day.

Thursday

Lola II and Mr M had arrived at our four-day camping holiday at the end of a longer break where they had been in the Lake District and hired electric bicycles. They had enjoyed this so much that we hired bikes for a day with the aim of cycling the Swale Trail from Reeth to Keld.

The guys in the shop showed us how the bikes worked - there were normal gears operated by the right hand, and extra controls for the electric power operated by the left hand. The weight of the battery means that with no extra power it would be impossible for us softies to go anywhere much. Eco mode provided enough power to make the bike ride as though it were a normal weight, then there were three extra boost modes. A low gear and Turbo mode made it possible to ride joyfully up a one in five hill as though it were completely flat.

A quick test ride around the car park made it very clear to me that the optional cushioned saddle cover would be a good idea, but it didn't prevent the pain derived from being battered on the rear end for six hours by the gravel trail and uneven surfaces. Mr M finished the full length of the trail, but Lola II and I turned back when it stopped being fun, and continued to lunch at the tea room in Muker via the road. By the time we got back to the start Lola II was having a bit of trouble with her gears and I was not only suffering pain in the rear end but at the base of my spine as well, so when we got back to the town at the start of the trail I was happy to sit with the bikes while Lola II and Mr M had a quick look around the shops and brought back a restorative Freddo chocolate bar for me.

After returning the bikes we came back to the town centre. Lola II and Mr M have a habit of taking pencils and blank postcards on holiday with them and doing a bit of drawing, so we each took a section of the view and sat quietly for half an hour creating a triptych of the church, buildings and view. Then it was time to find something to eat, and we decided to try a different town that had a selection of eateries, all of which were fully booked except the Indian restaurant (which was perfectly fine).

Friday

Time to pack up and go, and minister to the many bites and bruises that we had accumulated. Before we left Lola II kindly provided me with a haircut, and while she did the same for Mr M I examined the outcome and returned for a few extra bits she had missed the first time round.

Lola II and Mr M were going to finish their holiday in Staffordshire while I went straight home, so we drove together to Skipton for lunch before splitting up. I must say, our choices of food had been exceptionally good throughout the holiday, and this was no exception - I had an egg sandwich which was perfect; Mr M had a great ploughman's lunch (the cheese in the Dales is really good) and Lola II had a salad without onions where they had clearly just tried to pick out the onions and missed quite a few, but the cheese scones were great. The vegan hot chocolate with oat milk was the best I've ever had.

So that's the end of the camping season for this year, and we were lucky with the weather and not so lucky with the midges.

What I've been reading

Ruth
by Elizabeth Gaskell

narrated by Eve Matheson

"The orphaned heroine Ruth, apprenticed to a dressmaker, is seduced by wealthy Henry Bellingham who is captivated by her simplicity and beauty before abandoning her to her fate. She is offered a chance of a new life, though shamed in the eyes of society by her illegitimate son."

The fate of fallen women and illegitimate children was mighty cruel in those days, but the story and writing are excellent. It doesn't exactly end well, but that's the 19th century for you.

The Card
by Arnold Bennett

"The book tells the story of the rise of Edward Henry ('Denry') Machin from washerwoman's son to Mayor of Bursley. His success is accomplished through luck, initiative and a fair bit of chutzpah."

An early twentieth century setting this time, but with a lot of the nineteenth in it. The writing is excellent but I couldn't warm to the hero, who was successful but never seemed warm-hearted, and only generous when it suited his ends. The book ends with him in mid-life, married, and in the position of the youngest mayor of the town - I would actually have been interested in the rest of his life, except that he would probably have continued to irritate me.

Whisky Galore
by Compton Mackenzie

narrated by David Rintoul

"It's 1943, and the war has brought rationing to the Hebridean Islands of Great and Little Todday. When food is in short supply, it is bad enough, but when the whisky runs out, it looks like the end of the world."

A lovely book that celebrates all that is Hebridean, improved further by the narration which delivers the correct pronunciation of the Gaelic words. Much gentler than the famous film version, the salvaging of the shipwrecked boat's cargo isn't the main story, but runs quietly alongside the tales of men and women sometimes getting along with one another and sometimes not.

Back Story
by David Mitchell

narrated by the Author

"David Mitchell, who you may know for his inappropriate anger on every TV panel show except 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks', his look of permanent discomfort on C4 sex comedy 'Peep Show', his online commenter-baiting in The Observer, or just for wearing a stick-on moustache in 'That Mitchell and Webb Look', has written a book about his life."

I like David Mitchell's work, and thought he seemed like a decent chap. This memoir doesn't change that view, and fills in some detail about his background, which isn't very posh but is nicely middle class, much like my own.

The Painter of Signs
by R. K. Narayan

"In this wry, funny, bittersweet story, love gets in the way of progress when Raman, a sign painter, meets the thrillingly independent Daisy, who wishes to bring birth control to the city of Malgudi."

Quite a light read: a small story about a man, his aunt, and the woman that he falls for. It is pleasant and serves to illuminate some aspects of India in the 1970s.

The Shell Seekers
by Rosamunde Pilcher

"A mother loves her children; of course she does. But sometimes she may not like them very much. In Penelope Keeling's case, two of her three grown-up children often give cause to dislike. And when they put her under pressure to sell her most treasured possession - one of her father's paintings- they provoke a family crisis."

I read this long book in a weekend - admittedly a weekend in which I was at a festival with nothing much else to do - and it was great. At last, a proper story with lots of interesting characters who are introduced in such a way as to allow me to remember who they are and how they fit into the story, and fleshed out into people that I recognise and can sympathise with (or not). There wasn't anything much to learn from it, which is often what I look for in a book (even fiction), but I really enjoyed reading it.

Solaris
by Stanislaw Lem

narrated by Alessandro Juliani

"When Kris Kelvin arrives at the planet Solaris to study the ocean that covers its surface, he finds a painful, hitherto unconscious memory embodied in the living physical likeness of a long-dead lover. Others examining the planet, Kelvin learns, are plagued with their own repressed and newly corporeal memories."

I think this is a beautiful book without actually liking it all that much. It's ostensibly about a scientist arriving at a research station where they are studying the planet's sentient ocean. This is an attractive concept in itself, but the main evidence of sentience is that the scientist's dead wife is recreated in near-perfect detail, but over time comes to know that she is not 'real'. There's very little story, no suspense, and it's hard to say whether the ending was happy or not, but I found the experience pleasant without wanting to repeat it.

Mr Norris Changes Trains
by Christopher Isherwood

"After a chance encounter on a train the English teacher William Bradshaw starts a close friendship with the mildly sinister Arthur Norris. Norris is a man of contradictions; lavish but heavily in debt, excessively polite but sexually deviant."

Loosely autobiographical, this is set in Berlin in the years leading up to World War 2, and I'm sure it's really good - it's very readable - but I lack the knowledge of political history at that time. Of course I know what the eventual outcome was, but I get confused with the names and forget where the different parties stand: Fascist vs Communist vs Nazi, and this puts me at a disadvantage when the plot is revealed.

The Snow Goose
by Paul Gallico

"Set in the wild, desolate Essex marshes during the second World War. this is an intense and moving tale about the relationship between a hunchback and a young girl."

Just a short story, not really a book, but it's in my list of classics and it's utterly beautiful.

Odds and ends

Leamington Spa Food and Drink Festival, September 2021

The 'lawn' (perhaps more accurately described as 'scrubland' or 'prairie') has 'grass' that is now short enough for a dog to survive, but there is much more to be done in keeping the 'garden' ('nemesis') under control. If moss and wisteria prunings were a cash crop then I'd be pretty wealthy. It will take at least two trips to the tip with the car full of bags of green waste.

I went on a walk around Leamington with two gents from the Leamington History Group, another lady from Leamington and some tourists on a lovely hot day last week. I didn't learn a whole lot of new information, but we wandered down a street with beautiful old buildings which I had never seen before. There are a few other walks scheduled in the next couple of weeks which I'll probably sign up to. This flexible working arrangement is brilliant.

The actual work for Mr MXF, however, is rather frustrating at the moment. I have now established what the triggers are that cause the platform to seize up and refuse to work any more for about 12 hours, and I have an idea or two about how to get round it, but have to wait until it untwists its knickers before I can try.

Glf has come round to look at the wall and share the annoyance of unreliable plasterers that get full time jobs when you want them to work for you. We also shared a love of 70's and 80's music - he is a collector of vinyl and recommended a website where he goes to augment his collection. He was very impressed with my vinyl collection (which I am looking to diminish rather than augment), and suggested it might be worth something. I had a quick look at the website, but it's a bit like selling stuff on ebay - I could probably make a couple of hundred pounds, but the effort involved may not be worth it.

And Leamington has hosted its annual Food and Drink Festival, after having to cancel last year's, and apart from less free food to taste (no more dipping crackers into vats of different curry sauces) and a few more face masks in evidence, it is as good as ever. Except that since two years ago I no longer eat meat, so it takes much less time going round all the stalls. The weather was kind, and I stocked up on some treats for our camping next week - yes, the last camping trip of the year is about to happen in a northerly location that could bring pretty cold weather. I'm taking a hot water bottle with me...

Summer ends

June 2021

August has come and gone; that's the end of the summer and there has been even less 'summer' weather than in most years. September sometimes brings pleasant sunshine, so that's what I'm hoping for. I don't mind clouds as long as it's not raining, and it hasn't rained much, but it would be nice to wake up to blue skies once in a while.

Enough of my complaining, there's a small amount of interesting material to present. Firstly, dog news. As requested, I sent off photos of my house, garden and car. Ten days later I received a message informing me that they hadn't received any photos, and could I send some if I was still interested in fostering a dog, so I sent all the photos off again. The next message said that unfortunately the grass in my garden is too long, making it difficult to pick up poo and potentially leading to risk of disease for the dog.

Cutting the grass is actually quite an enterprise. It's much too long for the lawn mower so I had a go with a strimmer, but made little impact and eventually the strimmer packed up (probably overheated, but it is very old). I carried on using ordinary hand shears in sessions of two hours so as not to cripple myself, and it's nearly ready for an attempt with the lawn mower. I'll be sending off new photos when it's respectable.

I spent August Bank Holiday weekend camping at the Shrewsbury Folk Festival, with my phone turned off and no camera. Covid precautions meant that instead of being in marquees all the stages were in the open air, and we were incredibly lucky that it didn't rain at all. It would have been pretty miserable if it had rained, as well as being cold - it was very cold in the open air at midnight anyway. By the last evening I was wearing all the clothes I'd brought - two T shirts, fleece and jacket and two pairs of trousers as well as my woolly hat and scarf. The music was great as usual, but not as much of it as in previous years because of extended changeover times, during which I understand they have to sanitise a load of equipment (e.g. microphones).

The English National Lawn Bowls Championship is back in Leamington, and this year for the first time they offered local residents two free tickets to one day of the event. I invited a friend who also used to be a Dietitian, and we installed ourselves on one of the greens for an afternoon. We happened to watch the Senior Singles semi-finals (men and women), and then came back for the finals. There are a myriad of competitions divided by age, sex and number of players, and the whole event lasts more than two weeks. It was nowhere near as interesting as watching badminton, but I can see the attraction of playing. Spectating is a fairly dull affair, though, and all the other spectators appeared to be players and their spouses.

Quick LTRP update - the pub wall has been drying out, and as planned I got in touch with Glf's plastering mate who was going to put on more permeable lime render. After a prolonged delay he came to look at the job, and gave me the news that the price of lime render had gone up a great deal, but he would let me know what would be involved. After another prolonged delay I called him, and discovered that he's taken a full time job, but wouldn't mind doing my job at weekends except that I would have to buy and store two tons of lime render. I expressed some dissatisfaction about this situation to Glf, who has arranged to call round so we can work out what to do next.

I continue to provide my services to the vaccination clinic, where we are mostly vaccinating 16 to 20 year olds along with a handful of older people who weren't able to get vaccinated earlier because of pregnancy or allergies but have now been given the all clear. The clinic is still only operating three days a week, but after a break is due to come back full time at the end of September when it will be giving booster shots to front line workers - or at least, that is what is suggested. What actually happens is anyone's guess.

And lastly, my work for Mr MXF is getting on quite well, as long as I don't imagine that I can do more than four hours (and sometimes less) before hitting the buffers. Either there's a problem I can't get around, or something fails, or most recently the website slowed to an impossible crawl for no apparent reason. But I'm really tantalisingly close to actually achieving some useful results.

Lull

Malvern, June 2021

After a flurry of things going on, there's been a bit of a lull. Not that I haven't been up to much, but nothing juicy to write about. I've done a couple of vaccination shifts, been to a family party, went for some walks, had friends stay over on their way from Scotland to Cornwall, and done quite a bit of work for Mr MXF.

Nothing to report on the dog fostering front. My referees have supplied references, I have sent off photographic evidence of my house, garden and car, and I am now waiting for an interview.

I played badminton! Twice! The first time I was quite cautious because I am very much out of condition, and it didn't hurt too much the following day, so I was less cautious the second time and similarly got away with it. My technique has suffered a great deal from the 18-month hiatus and I can't cover the court like I used to, but perhaps I am remembering the halcyon days when I was at my best rather than what it was really like 18 months ago. Having said that, I doubt that my badminton skill is going to be improving with age at this stage. Now I've got to wait until the Thursday club starts up again, because Mondays are reverting back to the Buddhism course which took a break in August.

And that's about it. Sometimes less is better.