Unpacking

May 2026

The box emptying continues, along with whittling down our joint possessions to something more manageable. My email is full to the brim with admin relating to both a change of address and transferring the bills to my name. It doesn't feel possible that I moved in only a week ago.

I have finally found a 'normal' badminton club, in Epping. When I was growing up here it is peculiar that we didn't travel in that direction - music school and most of my friends and the synagogue were south east, into London by tube was south west, and we might go up the M11 to Harlow or Cambridge, or maybe to High Beech where we picked blackberries and climbed trees. But Epping, Ongar, Abridge and the rest of Essex might as well have been on the moon, even though they are just as easy to get to as Ilford, Romford, Stratford and Walthamstow. I am learning fast about the geography of Essex and find it to be nicer than our adjacent London boroughs. But that is because I can drive. Public transport will take me much more efficiently into London than to the villages and towns of Essex.

In between unpacking and doing the admin I continue to frequent the local cinemas, mainly the Odeon in South Woodford for standard fare and the Forest Cinema in Walthamstow for more esoteric choices. This week I went to the Forest for the film about the chef Anthony Bourdain, then the Odeon for straight up dinosaur excitement. Mum has been preoccupied with gardeners - now that she can't look after the garden personally she has entrusted it to a variety of different folk, who for various reasons have not been satisfactory. She interviewed another one this week. I am keeping my head down on this one.

My school friend (who now lives in Nottingham) was my very first visitor at Maternal Manor. I'll have to give him some sort of pseudonym, which I have managed to avoid so far - he will henceforth be known as Doc, which is his moniker on any public-facing internet platform because he is an educator and doesn't want to be visible to his students. His sister lives round the corner where my infants and junior schools are, and she was looking after their mother until her death in July. 

His career has taken him all over the world, including long spells working in China, Indonesia and Malaysia, and his strong opinion, often stated, used to be that he could never set up a home outside London. Then he had to move to Nottingham and discovered, like the rest of us, that London has its pros but also very much its cons, and he now appreciates the provincial life. But his sister has many children and grandchildren and he has a strong connection to his family (he and his wife, Ms S, have no children) so he'll probably be in my neighbourhood quite a bit.

Lola II visited specifically to give me a hand with the unpacking, at which she performed excellently and was very welcome. She came up with ideas for where to put things, did some filing for me, entertained mum, and generally fulfilled her other designated role of 'responsible for morale'.

As a break from unpacking duties I spent Friday in London. The plan was to visit the V&A (it doesn't seem to be called the Victoria and Albert Museum any more) and then attend a Proms concert at the Albert Hall. But the free guided tour of the V&A was cancelled and after looking at the rooms containing Buddhist art I really couldn't raise enough enthusiasm for the rest of it. On the other hand, the Proms concert was terrific. I was given a free upgrade from a seat in the top circle to a box, and I really enjoyed the music - it was a Dutch-Turkish psychedelic folk-rock band backed by the BBC Symphony Orchestra. Not everyone's cup of tea perhaps, but I loved it.

Travels with sisters

Hill Close Gardens, July 2026

Lola II arrived at Maternal Manor at the end of my stay so that we could travel north together, and she marvelled at the empty shelves in the garage, delighted in not having to step over a trench in the kitchen, and was also very complimentary about my cooking. Mum has been enjoying a slightly more varied diet - she loved the macaroni cheese I rustled up on a whim, and I love making food that people like.

On the way back north we visited a friend of Lola II's who has steadily been engulfed in dementia and has now had to relocate to a residential home near Milton Keynes. She was having a good day and gave us a really warm welcome when we arrived. Like Lola II she is a flute player, so Lola II brought her flute and I volunteered to play the piano, so we had a go at a couple of tunes, then they went for a walk and I sat in the garden. It seems like a lovely place, although very isolated.

Lola II and I continued on to lunch in the nearby town of Olney, and wandered around to see what there was to see. A small rug shop with more rugs that I thought possible - it could conceivably have held more than a thousand rugs - and then the Cowper and Newton Museum, which is a house where the co-author of the song Amazing Grace used to live. 

The exhibition included both Mr Cowper (pronounced 'Cooper') and Mr Newton, who wrote the song together. One was a poet and the other a curate, and the rooms held the usual mix of ephemera from the olden days - furniture and pictures and clothes and personal belongings, but also a room with information about the slave trade, another about lacemaking, and in the attic there was a dressing-up room. Well, you can't expect Lola II and me to pass up this sort of opportunity. We struggled a little because the clothes were clearly for children, but we don't give up easily.

Sister D joined us the next day for a trip to The Garden of Heroes and Villains, which I had discovered thanks to my U3A walking group. It's only open on four days a year, so we'd been planning this for a while. It's an odd place that used to belong to publisher and poet Felix Dennis, who enjoyed planting trees, and who set up the Heart of England Forest which took over the garden when he died. He bought the land that became this garden in 1989, and started filling it with bronze statues of heroes and villains (mainly heroes, hardly any villains). There are animals as well as people, both real and from literature and myth. There's also a yew maze, and woods, and an Arboretum.

Sister D enjoyed the guided walk around one of the woods, and I enjoyed sitting with Mark Twain and particularly liked the Minotaur who indicates the way into the maze. At the centre of the maze there is a statue of Felix Dennis, Richard Neville and Jim Anderson, who were the defendants in the famous 'Oz trial' in 1971 (look it up if you're interested). When we got to the middle, a young girl (about 11 years old?) offered to lead us out again. She told us she's done this about 30 times, and when she left us at the exit she headed back to the centre, presumably to do it again. Odd, but helpful.

When we reached the end of a long avenue containing about 25 statues, there was a table set up with volunteers from the Heart of England Forest, which we approached with some questions about the garden. The chap we met there looked familiar, and turned out to be someone who I played badminton with in Leamington, probably 20 years ago.

Lola II went home that evening, but Sister D stayed and next day we visited Hill Close Gardens together. I'd been there for the first time in February as the snowdrops ended, and this time the display was very different, containing a lot of fruit as well as flowers. Later, Sister D also helped me enormously by preparing listings for eBay. There's not a huge number of things I want to sell, but having two people working on it makes a big difference.

A week in London

Natural History Museum, London, November 2025

Some time ago I decided that Lola Towers is too big for me. I've lived there for nearly 24 years, and although it's just the way I want it now and it's also in the perfect location, I'm tired of the responsibility of maintaining both it and the garden it comes with. I've kept it in good condition (at least since Mr A departed) but still there's the roof, the boiler, the shower, the paintwork, and everything else that demands attention, let alone the bills for heating a large Victorian house.

Following a logical train of thought with many considerations both of lifestyle and of finance, I talked to mum about the possibility of moving in with her. She seemed to like the idea, so this has been the additional motivation for GRUHI, for giving notice to UJ, and now for an experimental week's stay with mum. Lola Towers bid me farewell during Storm Claudia by letting water into the kitchen through a different part of the ceiling. I put down a towel, left a message for UJ, and set off anyway. It can wait until I get back.

While in London I shopped around for Buddhist communities. The nearest is actually the largest Centre in the UK, the London Buddhist Centre in Bethnal Green. Coming from one of the smallest groups to the largest might not be my best option in terms of getting to know people, so during the week I attended the Saturday morning group at the North London Centre, the Tuesday evening group in Hertford, and the Wednesday evening group in Chelmsford (as well as the Thursday evening meeting at the LBC). None stood out as the perfect venue so I'll keep my options open for the time being, and visit them all again another time.

Apart from Buddhist activity I've obviously spent some quality time with mum - we have cooked (she has been very complementary about the results) and watched a bit of TV together, and I taught her a new card game (after about three rounds she was already beating me). There are also all the jobs that need doing, including sorting out confusing emails, the change in mobile phone contract that Tesco unilaterally imposed, getting rid of a lot more of the paperwork accumulated by dad and generally making myself useful.

On Monday morning I took myself off to the British Museum. I feel such a philistine when I say that it no longer appeals the way it once did. I visited the exhibition about China from prehistory to modern day, and then I looked at the Egyptian mummies, and even though it was OK and mildly interesting, my pleasure was frequently interrupted by the thought that most of the contents of the cases were acquired from indigenous people without their permission, let's say.

In the afternoon I met Lola II and in the evening we met up with Mr M for my last 60th birthday meal (of three), this time at a Venezuelan restaurant. It took me four months to book the first one, and this one took place just ten days short of a year after that. I like to make birthdays last.

On Wednesday we had two notable events. First, a plumber arrived to help us trace a water leak, and by the way fixed the upstairs toilet flush (hooray). The water leak still needs more investigation, unfortunately. Second, two buyers visited to assess the huge collection of books that dad amassed, offered a frankly pitiful amount of money and took them all away. After cleaning the shelves we moved photo albums, cards and ornaments from the dining room to make the room look less bereft, and on my next visit I brought over some books from Lola Towers that I mean to keep.

On Thursday I planned a day out at the Natural History Museum, mainly because Mr MXF and BL2 suggested meeting there for lunch. I've been going there since I was a child, and while some of the exhibits are carefully curated and looked after (a corridor of minerals, endangered birds, the museum's 'Treasures'), the whole experience gave the impression of being just a little bit tired, with missing light bulbs, thick layers of dust and touch screens not working. 

The dinosaur exhibit might once have been cutting edge, but they have filled a gloriously decorated Victorian room with girders and spotlights and made the actual exhibits quite hard to see and the labelling hard to read - one case had white text on an orange background with no lighting and I have no idea what was there. The café staff were probably doing their best, but apparently when an order for decaf tea is taken at the till it isn't passed on (they had to take my receipt away to fulfil my order).

Mr MXF and BL2 were on good form - Mr MXF has succumbed to his genetic heritage and had a mild heart attack, so now he has a stent and a cupboard full of pills but is in good health otherwise. BL2 is enjoying retirement and has discovered U3A. I hope to see more of them next year.

And the saga of UJ as a lodger is at an end - she has finally moved out, although she missed the first flight she had booked, she was hoovering at 1 a.m. and her belongings took a little longer to leave the house, the last few boxes being picked up the following day. I am looking after a few lamps, vases and plants until she returns to collect them. She has returned to Ukraine for Christmas and New Year and intends to come back to the UK next year and find her own place. 

It's been a good week

August 2025

I've taken over the task of ordering dad's gravestone in exchange for Lola II following up his brain donation pathology report with Parkinson's UK. The style of the stone has to be a particular type because of the rules of the Woodland cemetery, but there are still choices of material and wording and lettering. Lola II started the process and I phoned two companies for further clarification and asked each of them to come up with prices. I never knew how many choices there needed to be, but we're within a hair's breadth of placing the order.

Sister D and I went to an exhibition at the British Museum about Jain, Buddhist and Hindu art in early India. We agreed it was good but not outstanding. In local news, I went to a 'bring-your-own-curry-to-share' event with the local trading group, and as well as having conversations with interesting people I traded a digital radio to a couple, following which we had a discussion about how they might actually want to buy my house. It will be a good story if it comes off.

The U3A walking group is flourishing with 15 walkers of whom 12 stayed for lunch last week - too many, most agreed, because of the time it now takes to get us all over stiles, let alone the implications on food service in the pub at the end. One of the group who is a surgeon is going out to the West Bank to volunteer via a medical charity that supports the cause of the Palestinians. Another chap had routine blood tests and was given very bad dietary advice by a nurse about his borderline high cholesterol. Another person used to be a palliative care nurse who I asked about her views of the Assisted Dying Bill. More interesting conversations ensued. One person asked me what I thought about Prince Andrew and I was very glad to tell him that I had no view whatever due to my news blackout. This is not quite true; I have been listening to The News Quiz and watching Have I Got News For You, but really? Prince Andrew? On a lovely walk in the country?

UJ has been staying with me for three years now, and will be leaving me soon (at my request). As is her habit, everything is very last minute and nothing much seems to have left the building yet. The evening before the day we had agreed she would move out she admitted that she couldn't do it in time, and we have agreed a further extension. 

Because of this last minute approach she has been paying over the odds for train travel when she has to go to the London office. Recently she discovered that there was a coach direct from Leamington to Victoria once a day, costing less than a tenner, so she gave it a try. It leaves Leamington at 2.50 a.m. and arrives in London at 5.20 a.m. and I don't think she found the cost saving outweighed the sleep deprivation. On the other hand, the direct coach in the other direction leaves London at midnight and arrives in Leamington at 2.30 a.m. which is exactly what she needs after she's missed the last train. 

She told me the story of what happened the last time she needed to get to the office early for a meeting. She got to the bus stop in Leamington but the coach had already left, five minutes early. So she phoned the company who apologised and agreed to get her a taxi to catch up at its next stop, asking only for her booking reference, at which point she realised she'd actually booked the ticket for the next day. So then when her workplace opened she phoned the people who'd organised the meeting to apologise for her absence, only to find the meeting wasn't until next month.

Partying and Promming

The Royal Albert Hall, August 2025

A while ago I wrote about replacing a bent wheel on my car - fun times. Well, just to complete that particular anecdote and give credit where it's due, I managed to drop the car off for an hour during the Folk Festival so they could change the wheel and swap over the tyre, and when I went to pick it up they wouldn't take any payment. They will have my loyal custom for the rest of my life (at least until I no longer have a car).

I've been having quite a varied time since the festival. I had a birthday party! This hasn't happened for at least 30 years, so quite a significant step in my journey towards self-worth. I found a local vegan café that I hadn't been aware of before (but will definitely re-visit) who prepared some buffet food, and I created a playlist of party music that Muscles my Personal Trainer described as 'hard not to dance to' but in the event it could not be heard over the chat. There were 16 local guests who seemed to be very comfortable with one another, and it was a lovely occasion. I'm not sure I can be bothered to do it again, but then again having done it once it might be easier next time, and maybe I'd hold it at a weekend and invite people from further afield.

Next day I went down to visit mum and took her to an appointment with the nurse at her GP's surgery, where she knows everyone and they all know her. She is doing her own form of GRUHI, and managed to interest one of the GPs in dad's old-fashioned mercury sphygmomanometer and five boxes of his old medical textbooks, some dating back to the 1950s, which we took to the surgery. So that's another shelf of books dealt with.

From there I went on to Lola II and Mr M's house - they are on a mammoth tour of north Japan in a camper van that they have named Alan*. They aren't coming back for another couple of weeks and so my job was to make sure the house is still standing and water the plants while having a weekend in That London. I feel very pleased with myself that although I filled two days of the three I was visiting, I kept one whole day free of commitments, which has allowed me leisure to write this blog post among other things. But I did go into town on the other two days and visited the Bank of England Museum, went to the Proms with a friend from school, and visited the North London Buddhist Centre for meditation and a couple of talks.

The Proms was interesting - my friend is a London resident who has played the clarinet since school (that's how we became friends) and is part of all sorts of musical activities, some of which date back to those schooldays. [I found it amusing that some of our contemporaries are still singing in what was the Youth Choir, now named 'Youth Choir Veterans'.] Anyway, she invited me to the Prom which started with a piece I'd never heard but very much enjoyed ('Chairman's Dance' from the opera 'Nixon in China'), and then a piece that I'd never heard but was OK (Rachmaninov's 4th Piano Concerto). His 2nd was such a banger that it was never going to top that. After the interval was something that I'd describe as frankly awful (Berio's Sinfonia), which included voices (wailing and speaking as well as singing), and not much that was tuneful. A lot of fans made it clear that they were there for the pianist and then left in the interval - they probably got the best deal.

* Alan Touring (geddit?)

A day out in Warwick

Lord Leycester Hospital and West Gate, March 2025

My goodness I've been having fun, hence lack of substantive blogging. Recently there have been a couple of significant bloggable things for a change, so here goes with the first episode.

Chatting to one of the new people that I've met through the U3A walking group I happened to mention that I'd never been to Warwick as a tourist. Warwick is very close to Leamington - I sometimes walk along the river to a Warwick park and back. I've been to Warwick Castle long ago with my nephew, but that's more a theme park than part of Warwick itself, and very expensive to visit. The Warwick Folk Festival is within the grounds of the Castle and extends various musical offerings to the town, so I've had a look at some of that. I even got married in Warwick, but after the ceremony we went straight to Stratford for a meal. The U3A walker suggested a few places to visit, I did my homework, and bought a day return for only £1.55 on the train (with my Senior Railcard).

I decided that there were four places I wanted to visit - the Lord Leycester, the Market Hall Museum, St Mary's Church and Hill Close Gardens. A tour of the Lord Leycester was advertised at 11am and supposed to last for 45 minutes to an hour, so I thought I could do that first and something else in the afternoon. Luckily it was a beautiful sunny day, which made the whole experience much more pleasant.

The Lord Leycester is an unbelievably old medieval building dating back to the 12th century, which has offered housing to ex-members of the armed forces since the 16th century, and to the local Guilds before that. Twelve servicemen and their families still live there now and are known as Brethren, led by the Master (who is currently a woman). Brother Ken led the tour I was on, and it became clear that it wasn't going to be finished in an hour, let alone 45 minutes. He was a very chatty Irishman who had served in the Irish Guards, and he certainly gave us value for money. So it was definitely lunchtime by the time the tour ended.

After lunch I didn't fancy going back to the Lord Leycester even though there was more I'd have liked to see. The ticket is valid for a year and also covers Hill Close Gardens, so I'll have to find another spare day for that. Instead I chose to go to the Market Hall Museum, which has a lot of local geology and dinosaur fossils and social history and silver hoards and a stuffed bear and an ancient Irish Deer skeleton and a working beehive with Perspex sides so you can see inside. 

Market Hall Museum

One of the most impressive exhibits was a white model of Warwick town with iPads attached. You turn the iPad on, point its camera at the model and it displays a photographic overlay of the town which moves as you move, and you can click for more information. It actually gave information about the great fire that wiped out loads of Warwick in 1694 (thatched houses were not allowed in the town afterwards), but I was bowled over just by the technology.

The best exhibit, and the real reason why I chose to go to the museum, is the Sheldon tapestry of Warwickshire dating from around 1590. There are four tapestries still around, and Lola II and I saw the Oxfordshire one in the Weston Library in Oxford in 2022. Well, the Warwickshire one is complete rather than fragmentary, and is absolutely wonderful - well worth a visit.

After that I headed home, with two sites unvisited and more to see at the Lord Leycester, and if I'm in the area anyway I'd probably go back for another peek at the tapestry as well.

Lord Leycester Chapel - no electricity to this day

New Year in Amsterdam

Amsterdam, January 2025 (photo credit: Mr M)

Happy New Year! The world is looking increasingly unstable and I can hardly bear to think about prospects in various war-torn areas let alone the despotic, dictatorial, right-wing and populist governments that seem to be in the ascendant at the moment. Was it ever thus? Is it that the global nature of the news round means that we are just more aware of what is happening, rather than relaxing in blissful ignorance? Did the 60-year-olds in the midst of the Industrial Revolution look upon technology with the same horror as I regard the insidious poison of social media, especially on the young? I'm not sure how I would have survived if Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and the rest had existed when I was growing up. We will surely look back and acknowledge that giving children access to the whole of the Internet cannot be a good idea, in the same way that we ensure they don't have a credit card until they are mature enough to use it properly.

Anyway, enough of the doom and gloom, I am sitting comfortably in Lola Towers after the excitement of the holidays in Nottingham and Amsterdam. I joined Lola II and Mr M on a Dutch adventure for New Year. We travelled comfortably by train, and took a tram from the central station to our Airbnb. This was two rooms at the top of a traditional tall thin Dutch house, occupied by our host who has completely filled it - shelves, walls, glass cabinets, floor space and furnishings - with comic books and Disney artefacts. 

Our host's main stipulations were a) that under no circumstances should we step into the apartment with outdoor shoes (due to dogshit on the carpet brought in by previous guests) and b) that we would not bring anyone else in with us (again, bad experiences with previous guests). When the host opened the door to welcome us and Lola II stepped inside wearing her shoes he actually yelled at her, which was quite an off-putting start to our relationship. Later in the visit he presented each of us with a picture created by his brother who is an artist. Mine was a laminated A4 picture of a toucan, which I deliberately left behind among the clutter in my bedroom.

Because of the time of year, quite a lot of shops and restaurants were closed but we still managed to find interesting places to eat. We had Thai, Indian and Japanese food for dinner as well as Dutch specialities at breakfast and teatime like pancakes, bitterballen (croquettes), cheesy pastries, olieballen (spherical doughnuts with raisins), apple pie and apple turnovers. There is a great reliance on cheese and ham and very few other savoury snack choices. On the final evening we ate in what might be described as a gastropub where there was no written menu and the waiter recited the options. This was the only place that disappointed on the vegetarian front - they had a couple of choices and they were fine, but not up to the standard of the meat and fish that Lola II and Mr M had.

The weather was cold and sometimes wet, but Lola II and I missed the worst of the rain by being inside the Rijksmuseum while Mr M went for a ferry trip and walk and got soaked. I really enjoyed seeing the originals of paintings that are quite familiar as well as unfamiliar art, and the audio guide gave just about the right amount of supplementary information. Lola II is quite familiar with art in the National Gallery while I'm more comfortable in museums of science, history and nature, but even I found the 17th century paintings fascinating.

All three of us enjoy our guided walks, and we went on two of them - the first a general historical introduction to the city and the second focussing on food. The first guide was hugely enthusiastic and had done his research into the drugs and sex work aspects of the city, which I imagine people ask about a lot. We also learned that this year is the 750th anniversary of the founding of the city, created by the dam on the river Amstel. On the food tour we were given sweet and savoury snacks as well as being taken to visit the Begijnhof - housing for single Catholic women when that was a proscribed religion - which was completely unrelated to food, but interesting nonetheless.

We did a lot of walking on New Year's Eve and the weather was pretty cold, so by about 10pm I'd had enough and went to bed. Lola II and Mr M are made of sterner stuff, but even Lola II was in bed before midnight. Our Airbnb had a roof terrace, and Mr M took up our host's invitation to watch the fireworks from up there as long as we made conversation with his friends who were visiting. Mr M enjoys fireworks, and there were certainly enough of them - apparently fireworks are illegal but a blind eye is turned on New Year's Eve, so the explosions started when it got dusk and it was like a war zone at midnight.

There were various other activities - we wandered about in a craft shop, made hot chocolate at home (twice), watched a film, Lola II visited a clandestine Catholic church and its museum and I met a Buddhist friend who showed me around the Amsterdam Buddhist Centre. 

Altogether it was a good holiday, although the centre of the city was very crowded and busy, and the weather could have been better. Getting around on foot and using public transport is so simple now that we have online maps, online translation, online routes and timetables, and Lola II and Mr M leading the way. Communication wasn't a problem because English is spoken more than Dutch - we frequently heard Dutch diners and waiters speak English to each other when ordering food and drink. And we realised how wonderful it is that there is no charge to visit our wonderful British museums and galleries compared to at least €15 each in Amsterdam.

Not Today Thank You

Stoke Museum and Art Gallery, October 2024 (all photos taken by Lola II)

Long ago Lola II and I used to go away together for a weekend, sometimes with Sister D, usually around Lola II's birthday in February. The weather was often poor and many attractions were closed, which we ascribed to the time of year and inevitably blamed our parents. This time, for a few days at the end of October, we went to Stoke-on-Trent. Here is a brief overview of the visit: the weather was poor and many attractions were closed. So it isn't just February, and maybe our parents weren't to blame, but my goodness, Stoke on Trent failed to deliver the short break we were hoping for.

We arrived on Tuesday having done fairly minimal preparation, although the B&B was pre-booked. It was a pub with rooms, and only when we arrived did we realise that it was some way from the station in the opposite direction to the main town area. As those of you familiar with Arnold Bennett's books (my source material for much of my prior knowledge of Stoke) will know, there are a cluster of five towns in the region: Tunstall, Burslem, Hanley, Fenton, Stoke and Longton. So there are actually six, which makes as much sense as anything else in Stoke. [Historical note: they were amalgamated in 1910 to become the county borough of Stoke-on-Trent.]

When we got to the pub at the end of Tuesday, it turned out to have not only the rooms upstairs but also a well-equipped kitchen where we were encouraged to help ourselves to breakfast - not only cereal and toast and yogurt and juice but also eggs that we could cook for ourselves. There was nobody else staying when we arrived, and we were told that the manager had left unexpectedly so existing bookings were being honoured but no new ones taken until a replacement was recruited. The pub downstairs smelled a bit dank, closed at 9pm on weekdays, and everyone turned to look at us when we walked through to the stairs the first time; after that we used the back entrance. But the room and kitchen upstairs were lovely.

I would assert that our accommodation was the best part of the trip. Lola II and I had both made cursory searches to find interesting museums, eating places, entertainment and other potential attractions in the city. There was a film and a play we wanted to see so that would take up two evenings, and various pottery museums and restaurants that looked interesting, but our first foray into town to find lunch was problematic. We found that hardly anything was open on Tuesday, except a sandwich restaurant where we wanted to eat, but it was fully booked. 

This was a running theme throughout our stay. The tourist information office appeared to be located in the Museum and Art Gallery, which was closed on Tuesdays. The place that looked promising for desserts had run out of fudge cake. The next day the sandwich place was fully booked again and the dumpling restaurant that was supposed to be open was still closed. The café at the theatre on Wednesday night was fully booked, so our (perfectly acceptable) supper was crisps, cake and beer. By Thursday we'd cottoned on so we phoned the dumpling restaurant to check its opening hours and booked the sandwich restaurant for Friday.

The Old Free Library with Shakespeare mosaic and faded tiles (unocccupied)

The Museum and Art Gallery was open on Wednesday, but they told us that the Tourist Information Office hadn't been located there for some time, and in fact there seemed to be no source of tourist information other than leaflets and websites. Lola II and I have been to lots of places now, and each one has had some sort of guided tour of places of interest. Stoke isn't short of places of interest and it's a shame that there were no local guides. We did follow an interesting online trail highlighting various beautiful buildings with terracotta decoration and tiled details, nearly all of which were closed down and boarded up and decaying. It would have been better if a tour could have been delivered in person, and maybe would have provided a boost to the local economy.

One successful eating place was the Oatcake shop (closed on Tuesdays and doesn't take card payments on Thursdays). We managed to get there while it was open, brought cash, and tried a filled oatcake each - they are very much like pancakes or crepes. There was a very authentic and delicious Vietnamese restaurant which we almost left because the menu didn't have anything that was vegetarian, although they produced tofu when we asked. The dumpling restaurant was underwhelming despite a positive write-up in the Guardian, but in the sandwich shop my tofu and kimchi toasted sandwich was outstanding, and better than Lola II's halloumi and tomato relish. We also made our own supper one evening in the little kitchen at the pub.

Enough of the food, on to the other attractions. The main Museum and Art Gallery is the home of the Staffordshire Hoard, a wonderful treasure that I saw when it was displayed in Birmingham a few years ago. Which was lucky, because here in Stoke it had been completely removed leaving the cases in the gallery empty. There was a fairly interesting art exhibition that Lola II got us into for free with her Art Pass, and we spent the rest of our time in the museum looking at exhibitions of local history, fossils and stuffed animals, and an enormous amount of pottery. It's what the area is famous for, after all.

With hope in our hearts and having checked the opening hours we headed for the Spode Museum next day. Trying to find the entrance we encountered another visitor who was similarly confused. She was from Germany and was having a canal boat holiday, and had specifically come into town for this museum. When we eventually found it, despite the sign on the door suggesting that it ought to be open, the doors were locked. Luckily someone inside heard us knocking, and explained when she opened the door that she was on her own as the other volunteers had not turned up, and had we come far? We certainly had, and as we appeared to be relatively harmless she was kind enough to allow us inside (but locked the door behind us). 

She gave us a really interesting introduction to the museum and told us that only 47 of the bottle kilns are left in the area out of the thousands that were there in Stoke's heyday. (This is why Stoke should have real people giving tours, it was much better than reading a leaflet or a web page or just having labels in display cases.) There was an old film showing the stages of making, firing and decorating pottery which was really interesting too. When we left there were a group of people waiting outside the locked door but they weren't let in, so we were particularly lucky on that occasion.

Later in the day we thought we'd stop by and have a look at Stoke Minster, where Josiah Wedgewood and Josiah Spode are both buried. They're outside in the churchyard, which is lucky because the Minster itself was closed. And the tea room nearby that looked very attractive was fully booked and didn't even have space for us to wait.

We took a bus to the small theatre for a John Godber play (Perfect Pitch) and enjoyed it, but the Iranian film we saw the following night (My Favourite Cake) was even better. Getting around by bus was a bit of a challenge - it was quite difficult to locate the right bus stop to wait at, and then the drivers seemed to have trouble understanding what we were saying. 

On Thursday night we tried to plan for our last day, and work out what to do until our trains left in the early afternoon. There didn't seem to be anything. Another pottery museum looked promising, but our experience suggested it would be worth phoning to check its opening hours, and sure enough it was closed. So in the end we watched Tales of the Unexpected and Frasier on the TV in the room until it was time to vacate, and then just went into town for lunch. While we were eating, Lola II received a notification that her train was cancelled, so she asked at the station whether she could get an earlier train, and when the answer was no we tried to go into the station hotel opposite for a cup of tea. It was closed.

After we'd returned from the trip, Mr M sent me an extract of an article about a remake of the film "Dr Strangelove". It says:

"Take the stark scene where Pentagon top brass haggle over a city to offer up to the Russians as a sacrificial lamb. When it's suggested Stoke might be blasted to smithereens, a loud cheer rises from the audience."

Salford, Manchester and Altrincham

Self-portrait, 2023 and 1970

Lola II and I like to go away once a year - it used to be around her birthday, but now it's pretty much whenever we can both fit it in. Although we both used to live in South Manchester (me longer than her), neither of us knew Salford very well, so that's what we chose this time. And as it turned out, Greater Manchester has changed quite a bit in the 23 years since I lived there.

Before our trip I booked Lola II the acting prison guard to help me do a bit of admin. While I manage most of my everyday admin without help, there are some unattractive types of admin where I need someone who doesn't let me wander off at a tangent into something I'd prefer to do. Lola II came up a day early to supervise, and even put a couple of items out on Freegle for me (both of which have now been taken). My aim is to rid my house of every knick-knack and unwanted item while also avoiding contributing directly to landfill. There's still quite a long way to go, but I'm trying.

Then on Friday we headed north, arriving for brunch very close to the flat where I used to live. One reason for this was because there are lots of interesting cafes offering brunch in that area, but another reason was that somehow I had accumulated a box of documents relating to my flat and I wanted to hand it over to the current residents. Being a Friday lunchtime there was nobody home, but I left it in the hallway in the hope that somebody would investigate.

Then we headed off to our Salford hotel, which was in walking distance of the Lowry arts centre. Lola II was in dire need of caffeine and we found a supplier in the main entrance area which was painted the exact same colour of purple as my coat, with details in a burgundy very similar to my hair.

Spot the Lola

After coffee for one, we proceeded to wander round the galleries of Lowry paintings - he did a lot more than just matchstick men. We'd booked tickets for a theatre performance in the evening, so we tried to find some dinner in the vicinity, but the only decent option was within the Lowry centre itself, and it was fine. The play was 'The Beekeeper of Aleppo', which was moving and sad.

We had to plan the next day around the afternoon activity we'd booked, and ended up taking the tram around town. The tram network reaches much further than in my day and turned out to be an excellent way to get around. We started with another brunch, this time in the centre of Manchester, before returning to Salford to visit the Imperial War Museum North. I would have liked to spend more time there, but we had to get back to Manchester city centre for our Silent Adventure.

We were part of a large crowd of about a hundred women and three men, and we were all given wireless headphones by the three leaders of the pack. They started by showing us a few dance moves and then proceeded to lead us around the streets of the city centre, singing and dancing as we went. We were viewed with some surprise and (I like to think) admiration by the inhabitants trying to go about their business. It was great fun, especially the mass singing of 'Wonderwall' from a raised area above people sitting outside a pub, who soon joined in. It was also good exercise - Lola II was warm enough to actually unzip three out of five of her outer layers of clothing.

A cup of tea and a sit down was called for at this point. Then another tram to Greens, which is a vegetarian restaurant where we used to go on special occasions and is round the corner from my ex-flat. I enjoyed being able to choose from the whole menu, and there were even a couple of allium-free options for Lola II. And then, another tram back to Salford and the hotel.

Next day, after the obligatory brunch, we visited H+B in Altrincham. I delivered a gift from mum, we politely refused gifts of plants in return (we both have a dire success rate with plant gifts), accepted gifts of electrical trailing sockets, and through an agonising IT process managed to buy lunch for us all. H insisted that despite all evidence to the contrary he hasn't managed to clear his basement much (he definitely has).

It was a very fine weekend and we only scratched the surface of Salford and Manchester's offerings. I'd like to go back for more, and Lola II and perhaps Mr M might be able to come too, if we can find a time when we're all free...

Manchester, April 2023

21st century music delivery

Vajraloka, May 2022

Reading about the adventures of Lola II and Mr M in the Far East (via their app) makes this blog seems very parochial. I have done a small amount of travel, but only to London where I was house-sitting again for the travellers. I therefore had a shorter journey to visit mum and dad on the occasion of mum's 90th birthday. Happy Birthday mumsy!

I also went into central London to meet Cousin Y, and at Sister D's recommendation we visited the Wallace Collection. It's amazing - we had a guided tour that lasted over an hour and only scratched the surface. I had no idea! They use all that modern technology though, providing information via scannable QR codes rather than printed labels, and I wasn't feeling hi-tech enough to start messing with that. So I don't think I got the most out of the visit, and I'd like to go back again.

There's been some Buddhism as always, including a Team Meeting where my role is generally Chair, Secretary, Minute Taker and everything else except Treasurer. The person who is supposed to look after the finances invariably turns up saying he hasn't actually looked at the bank account but he thinks it's fine. I also took UJ to the Birmingham Buddhist Centre for a festival day along with my neighbour and another friend, both of whom are being extremely kind and offering to spend time with her - and in the case of my neighbour, also offering up her cat for play time. And another friend and I went off to a local cub scout group to talk about Buddhism. Trying to introduce meditation and explaining ethical principles to a very fidgety group of 8 to 10 year-olds really highlights the gaps in your own knowledge.

Saving the most exciting event until last - I have bought a new amplifier! Although I still occasionally play CDs, and vinyl even more occasionally, since being introduced to Spotify by Mr MXF I have mostly been streaming music through the downstairs hi-fi using a Chromecast audio gadget. Recently the amp has started to become a little unreliable. They made things to last back then - I bought it 40 years ago with my first real wage from employment (a temporary job at the Gas Board before university), and it cost £79.90, when VAT rates were 15% and CDs hadn't been invented. The speakers and cables I bought at the same time (£80.00) are still going strong, the cassette deck died many years ago, and the turntable (£87.50) is a little unreliable but I barely use it now. I never use the tuner; I really should sell it, but it's old fashioned analogue not DAB and I doubt it will fetch very much. [Quick look on ebay - maybe a tenner if I'm lucky.]

I was walking past a fancy music shop in town and went inside on a whim to see what's what nowadays. The man there did exactly what I wanted, taking on board all my preferences and requirements and offering a couple of alternatives. So when I got back from London I went back with my credit card. The new system has barely any external controls, not even an on/off switch, and is managed almost entirely via apps and WiFi. It does have an input for the CD player but not for anything else, and the app incorporates Internet radio, and - most excitingly - I have a second linked speaker for the kitchen, which will replace 'turning up the volume in the living room with the kitchen door open' to hear music in the kitchen. It's such high quality too. And the price? That has increased ten-fold in 40 years. But I hope I won't have to buy another for the next 40 years.

Two Lolas in Oxford

Riverhill Himalayan Gardens, June 2021

It's been a while since the two Lolas descended upon a town, but we managed to find a time when both of us were free - not so easy nowadays - and off we went to Oxford.

Lola II had done the required research about where we would eat, because now that I have gone properly vegetarian it is no longer a foregone conclusion that it will be Japanese food. We settled on an Arabic bakery (Za'atar Bake) that was some way from the station, so we started to catch up on the way.

Lola II's big news is that seven years after joining the 'Borrow My Doggy' website, she has finally gone ahead and contacted some dog owners. She is now in regular contact with Reggie, taking him for walks and bringing him home as well. Meanwhile, I was contacted by Guide Dogs ahead of planned weekends with Angus and Bruce, which have actually gone ahead this time. Dog news is on its way in future posts.

Throughout lunch (me: flatbread with cheese, spinach and pomegrate seeds, Lola II: chicken tagine with lemon, olives and rice), we talked a great deal, and then walked back into town to the Weston Library which has exhibitions that have always proved interesting in the past. This time was no exception, with an exhibition about melancholy based on a huge book published in 1621 called 'The Anatomy of Melancholy' by an Oxford Scholar called Robert Burton. For a 400-year-old book it had a lot of relevant insight into depression, its causes and its treatment.

There was also a huge tapestry on display, showing what remains of a map of Oxfordshire and beyond, made in the 16th century. It actually stretches as far as London to the east and Cheltenham to the west, and despite large portions being missing it's in remarkable condition after restoration - especially knowing that, like the book we saw, it's also more than 400 years old. In looking up the information to include here I found out that it's one of four maps commissioned by a man who lived in Warwickshire, and that the only one that is still complete is of Warwickshire, and can be found in the museum in Warwick. I think a visit is in order.

After all that culture we needed cake, so after some difficult research we ended up in the covered market. Oxford really needs to up its game when it comes to advertising cake shops, and the selection was not impressive. More talking ensued, and then we decided to extend the trip with a visit to the cinema where we saw the film Belfast (tipped for Oscar nominations). It turned out to be a showing with subtitles, which I was very sorry about because I find them incredibly distracting. Lola II didn't mind.

As far as I know, we didn't take a single photo the whole day, not even of lunch or the cake, so I've had to include a picture from a trip last year at the top of this post. And apart from wearing masks when going into shops and the library, it felt very normal and pre-pandemic. More trips are planned.