A week in London

Natural History Museum, London, November 2025

Some time ago I decided that Lola Towers is too big for me. I've lived there for nearly 24 years, and although it's just the way I want it now and it's also in the perfect location, I'm tired of the responsibility of maintaining both it and the garden it comes with. I've kept it in good condition (at least since Mr A departed) but still there's the roof, the boiler, the shower, the paintwork, and everything else that demands attention, let alone the bills for heating a large Victorian house.

Following a logical train of thought with many considerations both of lifestyle and of finance, I talked to mum about the possibility of moving in with her. She seemed to like the idea, so this has been the additional motivation for GRUHI, for giving notice to UJ, and now for an experimental week's stay with mum. Lola Towers bid me farewell during Storm Claudia by letting water into the kitchen through a different part of the ceiling. I put down a towel, left a message for UJ, and set off anyway. It can wait until I get back.

While in London I shopped around for Buddhist communities. The nearest is actually the largest Centre in the UK, the London Buddhist Centre in Bethnal Green. Coming from one of the smallest groups to the largest might not be my best option in terms of getting to know people, so during the week I attended the Saturday morning group at the North London Centre, the Tuesday evening group in Hertford, and the Wednesday evening group in Chelmsford (as well as the Thursday evening meeting at the LBC). None stood out as the perfect venue so I'll keep my options open for the time being, and visit them all again another time.

Apart from Buddhist activity I've obviously spent some quality time with mum - we have cooked (she has been very complementary about the results) and watched a bit of TV together, and I taught her a new card game (after about three rounds she was already beating me). There are also all the jobs that need doing, including sorting out confusing emails, the change in mobile phone contract that Tesco unilaterally imposed, getting rid of a lot more of the paperwork accumulated by dad and generally making myself useful.

On Monday morning I took myself off to the British Museum. I feel such a philistine when I say that it no longer appeals the way it once did. I visited the exhibition about China from prehistory to modern day, and then I looked at the Egyptian mummies, and even though it was OK and mildly interesting, my pleasure was frequently interrupted by the thought that most of the contents of the cases were acquired from indigenous people without their permission, let's say.

In the afternoon I met Lola II and in the evening we met up with Mr M for my last 60th birthday meal (of three), this time at a Venezuelan restaurant. It took me four months to book the first one, and this one took place just ten days short of a year after that. I like to make birthdays last.

On Wednesday we had two notable events. First, a plumber arrived to help us trace a water leak, and by the way fixed the upstairs toilet flush (hooray). The water leak still needs more investigation, unfortunately. Second, two buyers visited to assess the huge collection of books that dad amassed, offered a frankly pitiful amount of money and took them all away. After cleaning the shelves we moved photo albums, cards and ornaments from the dining room to make the room look less bereft, and on my next visit I brought over some books from Lola Towers that I mean to keep.

On Thursday I planned a day out at the Natural History Museum, mainly because Mr MXF and BL2 suggested meeting there for lunch. I've been going there since I was a child, and while some of the exhibits are carefully curated and looked after (a corridor of minerals, endangered birds, the museum's 'Treasures'), the whole experience gave the impression of being just a little bit tired, with missing light bulbs, thick layers of dust and touch screens not working. 

The dinosaur exhibit might once have been cutting edge, but they have filled a gloriously decorated Victorian room with girders and spotlights and made the actual exhibits quite hard to see and the labelling hard to read - one case had white text on an orange background with no lighting and I have no idea what was there. The café staff were probably doing their best, but apparently when an order for decaf tea is taken at the till it isn't passed on (they had to take my receipt away to fulfil my order).

Mr MXF and BL2 were on good form - Mr MXF has succumbed to his genetic heritage and had a mild heart attack, so now he has a stent and a cupboard full of pills but is in good health otherwise. BL2 is enjoying retirement and has discovered U3A. I hope to see more of them next year.

And the saga of UJ as a lodger is at an end - she has finally moved out, although she missed the first flight she had booked, she was hoovering at 1 a.m. and her belongings took a little longer to leave the house, the last few boxes being picked up the following day. I am looking after a few lamps, vases and plants until she returns to collect them. She has returned to Ukraine for Christmas and New Year and intends to come back to the UK next year and find her own place. 

Just like old times

Kew Gardens, October 2022

It's been a week like it was in the old days, when I optimistically used to fill my diary on the basis that I don't have to go to work so I must have lots of time, and then I find that I don't. All the things I've done have been fun or helpful or both, but I need to remember to keep some days free of commitments because I was too tired for badminton and that will not do.

Since the last post I've played in a badminton match, went for a walk with the U3A, and did some work for Mr MXF which consisted of chatting to a young man in the television department of Currys to find out what his knowledge and experience is of HDR, one of the standards used in media and TV. Then with a clear conscience I journeyed south for the Mr MXF Christmas party, which involved playing board games, receiving party bags containing chocolate and toys, dinner, speeches (short ones), Secret Santa, and then back to the MXF/BL2 house to watch Barbie on his new super-TV and sound system.

On my way back north I dropped in on Lola II and Mr M for lunch and a film, next day I went for a dog walk with a friend, board games with U3A, gave blood, fitted in a meeting for coffee with my friend from Brazil who has come home to try and sort out some financial stuff, drove to mum and dad for lunch and admin (ongoing communication with Thames Water in particular) and home in time for a Blues gig at my favourite Temperance bar.

Next day I met Lola II in Oxford, a bit later than planned because she had an senior moment which led to her finding herself at Heathrow airport by mistake. But we had a lovely lunch in a friendly pub and went to the Weston Library again - they have really interesting exhibitions, this time about Chaucer, the Alphabet and John Playford ('The Dancing Master').

Then I was back with the U3A walkers before being visited by Sister D and her husband, who treated me to a poinsettia and a curry and I treated them to an episode of Taskmaster (an old episode) and a bed for the night. They carried on to their destination while I had my Christmas concert. Due to the absence of a few key players I ended up sight reading the 4th clarinet parts which had a few unexpected solos, but I managed not to let the side down.

UJ returned from her trip to Kyiv two weeks ago, but Saturday was the first evening that we were both at home, so we caught up with a couple of the latest Taskmaster episodes. She's off again in about a week and I'm not sure we'll have any other evenings together before she goes. Then there was a coffee morning social with the Buddhists on Sunday morning, two Buddhist-related Zoom meetings as well as the usual Tuesday evening meetings. Thankfully, next week is due to be much quieter.

New Year was in June

Sheafhayne Manor, June 2023 (photo credit: Lola II)

Many times, a group of my friends and their partners have gathered in some large house to celebrate the New Year. Up until now, this has always taken place in December and January, but this year we gathered in June and reaped the benefit of warmer weather and light levels that allowed walking beyond 3pm, not to mention the joy of eating dinner outside.

We returned to the house in Devon where we'd spent the last holiday at New Year (2021-22), but with fewer people: only eleven of us this time. I drove with Lola II and Mr M, stopping for lunch on the way and then doing a major supermarket shop for the group before arrival and the process of picking bedrooms - we all chose a different room from the one we'd had before.

Over the week we went on long walks and shorter walks, those who brought bikes went cycling, we cooked for one another and ate out at cafes and restaurants, visited National Trust houses and their gardens, played games and attempted a fiendish jigsaw which remained unfinished at the end of the week when it was time to go home. 

A Buddhist friend of mine who used to live in Stratford before she moved to Devon joined us for one walk. Two of our number revealed that the reason that they had to leave us for two days in the middle was because one of them was going to become Irish on Tuesday afternoon. They drove and sailed all the way back to Ireland, attended the citizenship ceremony and drove and sailed back, then cooked us a barbeque in the evening in a truly heroic fashion. So we were nine Brits, one Australian and one European when we arrived, and eight Brits, one Australian and two Europeans when we departed.

The Bursar and Lola II, Sidmouth promenade

Games played were Pitchstorm, Codenames and the Bucket Game; places visited included coastal towns Beer, Branscombe and Sidmouth; National Trust sites were Montacute House and Killerton, both of which were delightful and included interesting walks as well as interesting properties. Killerton was my favourite, due to the enthusiastic volunteers who were keen to share as much information as you were prepared to listen to, and encouraged interaction to the extent of actually being able to look at books in the library and to play their piano and organ. Luckily our party included a competent pianist (not me) who had been practising tunes for singing back at the Manor. So Killerton was treated to a rendition of Life on Mars on the organ, which was lovely.

Mr MXF was the most enthusiastic cyclist and rode off early every morning to bring back breakfast pastries. Both our Europeans and Lola II and Mr M all brought whisky and Lola II made her signature gulloeblobs consisting of stem ginger in chocolate. The weather was so good that we ate outside nearly every evening. It was a wonderful and relaxing holiday with people who are easy to get along with, and due to the Splitwise app we didn't even need to do the convoluted accounting to work out what everyone owed everyone else.

Sidmouth, June 2023 (photo credit: Lola II)

Hostess with the mostess

Waterperry Gardens, March 2023

Hello, Lola II here. Lola I declared at the start of her London visit that we should write the blog for our latest excitements and, since she writes sooo much of our adventures, I agreed that she should be given a break. So here I am.

The fun begun… The fan began… I went swimming first thing on Wednesday as the dedicated Olympic swimmer that I am. I won’t say any more about my swimming here since I’ve been invited to dedicate a post about the years that have led me to my near-Olympic achievements, so that will come another time.

Lola I arrived in Marylebone station ready for a full day of events. Along with Mr M, we had Indian chaats, starter-sized portions of Indian deliciousness. I can’t normally eat Indian food because of the allium content but chaats often just have diced onion added on top and so it can be easily removed.

Onwards to the Gielgud Theatre to see To Kill A Mockingbird. We love Harper Lee’s 1960’s book but the draw on this occasion was that it had been adapted for the stage by Aaron Sorkin, a master of the word, who wrote one of our favourite television series, The West Wing. The play did not disappoint and was entirely mesmerising from beginning to end. My eyes were certainly glued to the stage. I felt part of the performance, clearly as did those in the audience who gasped when [spoiler alert] Atticus received the call that Tom Robinson was dead.

The previous week Mr M and I had free tickets to be in the audience for a recording of the television show, QI. It was a big disappointment due to one of the panellists but we were happy to give it another go when Lola was enthusiastic about going after the theatre. What to do in the gap between cultural experiences? Cake of course. I led our happy band on an unnecessarily extended walk in the wrong direction until we finally arrived at a Swedish café I had recently experienced for market research purposes. Fact. Crucial cakes purchased, off we went to TV Centre. QI was great. We were compensated for last week’s disappointment with good guests and lots of fun.

Mr M worked on Thursday while Lola I and I played. We collected M&T’s car and then headed off to Ikea to return some items. M&T kindly allow us to use the car whenever we want and it is very handy indeed. We wandered around, with Lola I showing a surprising amount of interest in examining the kitchen-related items. Apart from the trolley having an unnatural tendency to steer left, we had all the fun of browsing exciting colourful items with almost none of the expenditure.

Friday, off we drove to Leamington. I cut Mr M’s hair and trimmed his beard until he looked gorgeous again. Random Cuts, my lockdown-prompted hairdressing service, has survived into these post-Covid times. I have a number of loyal clients, two and a half to be exact – Mr M, Lola II and Mum until she can get back to a real hairdresser (although you’ll always be welcome back, Mumsie!) BL2 & Mr MFX arrived and we created our own pizzas, along with UJ.

Saturday was my purpose for the timing of our weekend. I attended the Read Easy UK Conference with 200 attendees from 57 groups. The bottom line is that our work changes the life of adults who come to us unable to read, and leave being able to be part of the community around them. Gone is the incomprehension, isolation and disadvantage. Heart-warming stuff.

At the end of the day back home in Leamington there were (allium-free, thank you Lola) nibbles and a broccoli & cauliflower quiche with salad and one of my favourite desserts, a chocolate steamed pudding with apricots and chocolate sauce. Politeness prevented me from skipping the main course and jumping to dessert, but having it for breakfast too made up for it.

Sunday morning and the reason why we got BL2 & Mr MFX up there with us… Meccano! Dad had a set from the 1950’s and Lola has stored it for the last decade or so. The little screws and nuts and other bits’n’bobs are beautifully kept in individual gold (they’re yellow but I always remember them as GOLD) cigarette boxes. To think there was a time when people bought their cigarettes in these metal beauties and not in the cardboard packets with hideous pictures of rotting teeth on the front, warning against smoking.

We had a very happy three hours, each constructing an item of our choice. Mr MFX made a motor car, Lola a swing and I made a dentist chair in recognition of Lola’s bravery and ongoing dental exploits. The designs for these came with the Meccano set and are printed on 1950’s thin paper pamphlets that feel like they will disintegrate if you show too much enthusiasm around them. BL2 decided to go off-piste and construct a chicken of her own design. Keeping chickens herself, she was expert on how her end product would look and the only difference between her creation and the real thing was that hers had to have a third leg. With more time I feel sure she would have found a subtler way to balance the head with the bot-bot.

Lunch in the pub next door with Mr M and UJ was lovely. UJ hadn’t had a Sunday Roast before and Lola did an admirable job of preparing UJ for the eventuality of me distracting her in some way in order to steal her Yorkshire pudding. I would not have done that but I do understand the urgency with which Lola briefed her. I admit it is a risk, sitting near me during a Sunday Roast.

We then each went on our merry way after a lovely weekend. Lola was the hostess with the mostess.

The Games - part 2

Victoria Park, August 2022

While all that badminton stuff was going on at the Commonwealth Games, or 'Birmingham 2022' as it was known in the press and on all the logos, Lolatastic life continued apace. There was a bike service, a comedy gig, a stay in hospital, visitors to Lola Towers, the putting up and taking down of the Lola Towers garden extension (aka the tent), a trip to Lockwoods outdoor supplies shop, Ukrainian news, and the Games in Leamington Spa.

On that last subject I would like to direct your attention to two articles in the press. The first article is the more staid, traditional form of reportage by the staid, traditional BBC, especially notable for the quote from the 'general manager' of Pub Next Door. I put his role in quotation marks because to me he seems little more than a teenager, but I expect he's at least 30. The second article is from The Guardian and is much more amusing but no less accurate for that. Bowling in Leamington Spa has never felt more exciting. I happened to pass the main entrance at one point, where I encountered a very jolly volunteer with a megaphone sitting atop a high chair, whose job was to welcome spectators to the park by shouting interesting information about Lawn Bowls and the Commonwealth Games in years gone by.

I've already described some of the disruption in my local area, but that was during preparations leading up to the start. When the event actually began the level of security escalated enormously, particularly at the end of the road, where a number of the huge lens-shaped obstructions that I've seen protecting Parliament were installed a couple of days before the start, and then additionally a large and heavy horizontal barrier was constructed. I regret not taking pictures (I was too busy and kept forgetting), but as well as the orange-and-grey-clad volunteers there were stewards and security in hi-vis, Army chaps in camouflage, ordinary uniformed coppers and policemen WITH GUNS, all milling about at the end of the road as visitors arrived with their tickets for the bowling and residents wandered through with pushchairs and shopping bags and dogs.

My first guests (JW+JD) arrived by car as they were stopping on the way to their holiday in Cornwall, and I made sure to be at the barrier brandishing my resident's credentials otherwise they would have been turned away by a ruthless official in hi-vis jacket. Later in the week I received one of my frequent incorrect delivery attempts (intended for a house in the Road instead of the Street) from an Asda delivery man, wearing an Asda shirt and carrying heavy trays of Asda groceries whose Asda van had not been allowed past the barrier so had to deliver it all by hand.

The evening that the first guests arrived was also the evening that dad was taken to hospital with sepsis. Lola II just happened to be visiting at the time, so she was able to go with him and make sure all was well. He was in hospital for nearly two weeks, but home now.

JW+JD had tickets for the Rugby Sevens, Squash, Badminton, Cricket and Athletics; the next guests to arrive were Lola II and Cousin Y who had tickets for Hockey and were accompanied by Mr M who didn't have tickets for anything. I took up the residents' offer of free tickets for Lawn Bowls so he went to that. JW+JD headed off for Cornwall, Cousin Y went back to London, Lola II and Mr M had an extra night before they went home and then Mr MXF and BL2 arrived ready for Cycling, Diving, Athletics and Lawn Bowls courtesy of another pair of free tickets. By the time they all went home the house seemed very quiet.

While all this was going on, I was also in communication with Ukraine Jane 2, who is from Kherson but taking refuge in Poland. We introduced ourselves to one another, had a short conversation via WhatsApp, applied for the visa, the visa was granted and we worked out when and how she would get here, all within the space of just 8 days. Then two days later she announced she wasn't coming here after all but going to Slovakia for family reasons. And then, the very next day, the first UJ (the one with the cat) got back in touch to ask if the room was still available. I'll be speaking to her soon to find out her current situation.

The only other event of note was the visit to Lockwoods where Lola II wanted to buy some proper waterproof walking boots. Not only did we confuse the shop assistant by both of us being called Lola, but aside from the boot purchase the most notable aspect of the visit was that despite being over 50 years old, Lola II and I learned how to tie our shoelaces in a useful new way.

Happy New Year holiday

Yarcombe, January 2022 (Photo credit: L from family JJL&J)

Happy New Year to my very few but dedicated readers. There's been a break in transmission, not so much because of the holidays but because of a rare interlude when I just haven't felt like sitting down and writing.

One of the reasons may be that some time ago I developed a low-key but significant pain in my left arm (intermittently from forearm to neck), which in the last few days has prevented me from lying down comfortably in almost any position. After ignoring it for as long as possible, it has now become important to work out what is going on, and with only a moment's consideration, I feel fairly sure it's because of how I've been sitting at the computer. Today I switched the mouse to the other side, and more importantly I replaced the exercise ball I've been sitting on with my proper computer chair. My new posture feels much better, so fingers crossed that this is reflected in a less hurty arm.

Christmas with friends in Nottingham was lovely, and I have become a convert to the strange yet delicious combination of champagne and advocaat for Christmas morning, which effectively softens the focus for much of the rest of the day. I'm not a fan of either champagne or advocaat on their own, so it was quite a surprise to find that they taste rather good together. A lot of cheese was given and received, Christmas dinner was at a local curry house, and there's really no more to say about that holiday.

There was uncertainty over whether we could get together for New Year in Devon until the very last minute. Thankfully we went ahead - we were a party of 15 housed in a majestic Grade II listed manor house said to have been owned by Sir Francis Drake. It has been updated since the 16th century and was generally warm with plenty of baths, toilets, showers and hot water, which are the essentials of a comfortable holiday in mid-winter. 

Sheafhayne Manor (Photo credit Mr M)

It was also enormous - 11 bedrooms, 4 staircases, a large lounge, a small lounge and a games room with full size snooker table as well as a huge dining room (with piano), kitchen and many pantries and store cupboards and utility rooms and outbuildings... There was also enough crockery and cutlery for about 100 people, and two working dishwashers. We even discovered a huge 'ballroom' at a lower level containing further delights which we didn't really make use of, what with having plenty of space and things to do in the main house. If I were forced to criticise anything it was that the lighting was a little underpowered for my elderly requirements. Some might complain that the internet access didn't extend beyond the lounge, but that was fine with me. 

In the olden days on holiday with this group of friends there was usually some discussion in the evening about the next day's walk, and a time to set off was determined which might be as early as 9 a.m. ahead of an all-day walk, sometimes requiring a packed lunch and returning home as it was getting dark. Perhaps because we are older, lazier or just simply enjoying a relaxing holiday together two and a half years after having booked it, we tended to get out at around 10.30 a.m. and the walks relied quite heavily on a lunch stop at a pub. 

Disappointingly, on nearly every day where a pub was involved, there was a problem - food was being served only to those who had booked ahead, there was no food at all, the pub was closed. Outside the tourist season it seems that one has to be more organised if one wants to eat, and organisation was not something that bothered us much that week. The weather was also rather warm and quite wet, and therefore extremely muddy until the final day. Views were hindered by mist, and we were definitely not as fit as we used to be. But walking with friends is something that warms my heart, so I enjoyed it all.

Cooking has also changed slightly over the years. We still divide up the evening meals so everyone is responsible for one day, but in the past each team has focussed solely on their day's cooking, and mountains of leftovers accumulate throughout the week. This led to me taking on the task on the last evening to combine everything remaining into a mammoth soup alongside leftovers that couldn't be included (e.g. cheese and biscuits). This time each successive cooking team not only took account of what remained in the fridge, but also made much more appropriate quantities, so I nearly had to buy more provisions to make sure we had enough for soup at the end.

Photo credit: Mr M

Highlights: spending quality time with my lovely friends, the Bucket Game we played after dinner on New Year's Eve which successfully kept us all awake until midnight, and the Key Lime Pie made by Bee Lady 2 (yes, Mr MXF and BL2 were among the company). BL2 estimated the quantity required based on four times the amount she would make for her family of four. Fifteen of us managed to eat just half the amount she had made. I was very impressed to see family JJL&J's daughter (L) eating some of it for breakfast. I thought that was something that only a Lola would do.

Lola II and Mr M very much enjoyed the entertainment provided by more talented company playing their favourite tunes on the piano. I participated in the joint jigsaw puzzles, the first being relatively straightforward and the second being the most fiendishly difficult puzzle I have ever encountered - Starry Night by Van Gogh with every one of the thousand pieces a different and non-traditional shape. I was presented with it to take home, but most of the completed sections disintegrated on the journey and it's taken me over a week just to get back to where we were, about two thirds complete.

I've done a lot of catching up since coming home and nothing of significance except supporting mum to help dad through a nasty bout of illness (not Covid). There's been quite a lot of Buddhist stuff, badminton, walking, jigsaw puzzling and generally enjoying the life of leisure. Next week I'll definitely get back in the saddle with Mr MXF, especially as working at the computer is so much more comfortable now.

Lyme Regis (Photo credit Mr M)