Settling in to my new life

Jephson Memorial in Jephson Gardens, Leamington, June 2026

Alongside the search for a badminton club and a Buddhist group I started the hunt for a new Personal Trainer to replace Muscles (although I can't imagine anyone better). The nearest gym is a short walk away, so I dropped in to see if it would do, and have been put in touch with someone who takes as much time as I do to respond to text messages. Eventually I met him, he seems OK, and we've set up a few sessions to see if we get along.

I had to go back to Leamington because of a periodontist appointment that I couldn't move. I thought I might as well make best use of the day so I had a training session with Muscles as well as having a repeat blood test. I actually had a blood test before I moved away, but there was a 'lab error' so it's lucky I've had the opportunity for a repeat - if they mess it up this time I'll have to start again with a new local GP. I also tried to give mum's old VHS video player to Leamington's recycle warehouse, but there was a sign saying they couldn't take any more donations at the moment. I met Nameless Man for a cup of tea and mentioned the video player, and he took it for the Library of Things. Result!

Mum and I have started on the kitchen, weeding out all sorts of things that haven't seen the light of day for years, and hopefully putting more of the things she uses within her reach. There is so much that is no longer needed, both of mine and hers. Her friend came round and helpfully took away one or two things, and the family WhatsApp group means that some of the rest will find a new home, but I anticipate a new kitchen section in the local charity shop. I have promised mum that I will clear the boxes in the kitchen by the time I go away... because I have taken advantage of the certainty of having moved to book a whole lot of retreats and volunteering activity up to the end of the year. Then I will need to calm down and spend more time actually living here.

At various times this week we hosted Lola II, Mr M and Sister D who assisted with more unpacking and helpfully took various items away with them. The saga of the cooker continues - I think I wrote about the broken knob and the unsatisfactory replacements, but the next thing has been that the gas ignition spark failed, and mum thought that it needed a battery that is no longer available. I persuaded her to consider a new cooker, and went as far as investigating where we might get one second-hand (a brand new one seeming unnecessary). Then I actually looked at the battery (which was a standard size), took it out and put it in again and the spark is back. I still think a replacement would be an improvement to our quality of life, but that will have to wait until I have a bit more time to spend on it.

It's taken a couple of weeks but I've now applied for my 60+ Oyster card, which is the same as the Freedom Pass but funded by Transport for London rather than the London borough I live in. So I'll be getting free trains and buses (and trams etc) in London, which is the second big benefit I've attained simply by remaining alive, the first being my Senior Railcard. I went back to the library to make sure I understand how it works - the building is so small that they encourage you to reserve books you want to read rather than expecting to find them on the shelves. I also enquired about borrowing an OS map, which was promptly ordered for me, and then I made the classic error of not simply leaving the library without looking around. So I've borrowed two books, as if I didn't have loads already on my shelves waiting to be read.

This last weekend brought my first retreat with my new Buddhist Group, who started holding a Camping retreat when they couldn't meet any other way because of Covid. The tradition has continued, and there were nearly 30 of us in a field in Essex, meditating and chatting and generally doing Buddhism together, and it was very lovely and people were splendid. It's also been my only camping trip this year, which is very unusual.

What I've been reading

The Invisible Man
by H. G. Wells

narrated by B. J. Harrison

"A scientist theorizes that if a person's refractive index is changed to exactly that of air his body does not absorb or reflect light, then he will not be visible. He successfully carries out this procedure on himself, but cannot become visible again."

Obviously everybody knows about this story, but how many people actually know what's in it? I was completely unprepared for such a dark and violent tale, and have to conclude that this is the first time I have read it, which is very surprising indeed. Given the opportunities that invisibility might present, the author chooses to go nowhere near what I would have expected.

Sleep No More: Six Murderous Tales
by P. D. James

narrated by Daniel Weyman

"It's not always a question of "whodunit?" Sometimes there's more mystery in the why or how. And although we usually know the unhealthy fates of both victim and perpetrator, what of those clever few who plan and carry out the perfect crime?"

A perfect book of short stories of murder that manage to be utterly different from each other. Sometimes the murderer and/or the murdered are introduced right at the start, sometimes they pitch up towards the end of the tale, and sometimes they aren't who you think they are. I really enjoyed this book.

Spider's Web
by Agatha Christie

narrated by Hugh Fraser

"‘Supposing I were to come down one morning and find a dead body in the library, what should I do?’ she muses. Clarissa has her chance to find out when she discovers a body in her drawing-room. Desperate to dispose of the body before her husband comes home with an important foreign politician, Clarissa persuades her three house guests to become accessories and accomplices."

I was surprised to find this in the audio book library because I thought I knew a lot of Agatha Christie's work, but after I'd listened I found out it's an adaptation of a play she wrote. It's pretty good, and avoids many of the outdated tropes of her work, but that may be due to the work of the 'novelization'. Looking at the library again, there seem to be quite a number of her books that I haven't yet read...

Independence Day
by Richard Ford

"After the disintegration of his family, the ruin of his career and an affair with a much younger woman, Frank Bascombe decides that the surest route to a 'normal' American life is to become an estate agent in Haddam, New Jersey. Frank avoids engaging in life until the sudden, cataclysmic events of a Fourth-of-July weekend with his son jolt him back. "

For most of the book I really wasn't bothered. I didn't hate it, but wasn't engaged enough to care what happened next, which is why it's taken a long time to finish it. When I was about 90% of the way through it started to grow on me, and I've ended up thinking it's actually rather good. It won the Pulitzer Prize, and I'm starting to get a feel for what that is all about - literary excellence without necessarily being a page-turner.

The Eternal Legacy
by Sangharakshita

"An introduction to the vast range of Buddhist canonical literature. It covers all major sacred texts, summarizes their essential teachings and places them in their doctrinal and historical context."

This is an incredible resource that I couldn't have appreciated before now. Unlike Judaism, Christianity and Islam which only have a book or two of source material, Buddhism has a library of works describing the Buddha's life and teachings. Being originally an oral tradition and spreading throughout South East Asia, there are versions of the same books in Sanskrit, Pali, Tibetan, Chinese and Japanese so additions and losses can be tracked and some idea of authenticity is available. It is also an incredible scholarly achievement.

GRUHI in a heatwave

Adhisthana, May 2026

After the retreat I spent 10 days at Lola Towers, walking with and meeting and phoning friends and generally getting my head together over the situation with the house sale. Nothing else to report on that score until either the estate agent or the solicitor tells me I'm supposed to do something. 

Of course I continued with the GRUHI project at Lola Towers, paying particular attention to the loft and the garage this time, which resulted in another fruitful trip to the tip and a couple of donations to the Library of Things (a garden spade and a rake). I took a full car of Stuff to Maternal Manor, including bedding, winter clothes and a bedside cabinet that will stay there. 

We had booked a council Bulky Waste collection for Wednesday, and the large sofa, sofabed and dismantled wardrobe had to be out on the drive by Tuesday evening. Mum had made arrangements with a neighbour to help, but we were scratching our heads about how to manoeuvre the large sofa through the hall and out of the front door when our handyman JC arrived with his sidekick to look at the trench in the kitchen floor. The two of them easily managed what the neighbour and I had failed to achieve.

JC the handyman had come to finalise the plan for filling in the trench in the kitchen floor, but we took advantage of the fact that the neighbour was also there to discuss arrangement for fixing the broken garden fence. Then JC and I talked about how to complete the refurbishment of the kitchen floor once the trench was filled, and this required me to visit various tiling establishments where I discovered that 330mm square tiles are not actually very common. It won't be possible to match the colour so we went for contrast instead. 

Lola II came and joined in the work for an evening, and helpfully took away some more Stuff. I ferried mum out on trips for shopping and to the optician. We marked two years since dad's death by getting stuck into the many accumulated storage containers that remained on the garage shelves, separating the contents into metal and non-metal ahead of a trip to the tip. Mum was particularly taken aback by the amount there was; I am no longer surprised by what dad 'collected'. This clearing of the garage shelves continued over several days and we got rid of quite a lot.

My efforts to find a suitable badminton club continue. I don't intend to return to the one I went to last time, but found another club on a Monday. The organisation is again complicated, made worse by the poor directions which meant I couldn't find them within the Sports Centre. Once I finally arrived they were quite friendly and the standard nearer mine, but while asking directions I had come across a set of oldsters who have been playing together for ages and are now suffering from depleted numbers due to age. Next week I'll have a go with them.

I went to one of the Buddhist centres I'm trying out while I'm at Maternal Manor, and they had air conditioning and were lovely (this is the centre that I'm favouring at the moment). In contrast, I went to Lola II's concert, or at least I tried, and in the time it took me to get to Paddington by tube and train I could have driven to Leamington. At that point no more trains were travelling west, so I gave up and came back. I claimed points for trying, though, which were awarded with good grace, and we all know what points mean.*

In between all of this, during the third heatwave of the year, I was liaising with J+J over our 2027 ski trip. Having been to the same place in France for many years we were attempting to find somewhere else to go that we might conceivably reach by train, that has a high probability of having snow cover and plenty of intermediate slopes, and the right sort of accommodation. It looks as though a couple of resorts in Austria might fit the bill.

* Prizes.

A week in London

Natural History Museum, London, November 2025

Some time ago I decided that Lola Towers is too big for me. I've lived there for nearly 24 years, and although it's just the way I want it now and it's also in the perfect location, I'm tired of the responsibility of maintaining both it and the garden it comes with. I've kept it in good condition (at least since Mr A departed) but still there's the roof, the boiler, the shower, the paintwork, and everything else that demands attention, let alone the bills for heating a large Victorian house.

Following a logical train of thought with many considerations both of lifestyle and of finance, I talked to mum about the possibility of moving in with her. She seemed to like the idea, so this has been the additional motivation for GRUHI, for giving notice to UJ, and now for an experimental week's stay with mum. Lola Towers bid me farewell during Storm Claudia by letting water into the kitchen through a different part of the ceiling. I put down a towel, left a message for UJ, and set off anyway. It can wait until I get back.

While in London I shopped around for Buddhist communities. The nearest is actually the largest Centre in the UK, the London Buddhist Centre in Bethnal Green. Coming from one of the smallest groups to the largest might not be my best option in terms of getting to know people, so during the week I attended the Saturday morning group at the North London Centre, the Tuesday evening group in Hertford, and the Wednesday evening group in Chelmsford (as well as the Thursday evening meeting at the LBC). None stood out as the perfect venue so I'll keep my options open for the time being, and visit them all again another time.

Apart from Buddhist activity I've obviously spent some quality time with mum - we have cooked (she has been very complementary about the results) and watched a bit of TV together, and I taught her a new card game (after about three rounds she was already beating me). There are also all the jobs that need doing, including sorting out confusing emails, the change in mobile phone contract that Tesco unilaterally imposed, getting rid of a lot more of the paperwork accumulated by dad and generally making myself useful.

On Monday morning I took myself off to the British Museum. I feel such a philistine when I say that it no longer appeals the way it once did. I visited the exhibition about China from prehistory to modern day, and then I looked at the Egyptian mummies, and even though it was OK and mildly interesting, my pleasure was frequently interrupted by the thought that most of the contents of the cases were acquired from indigenous people without their permission, let's say.

In the afternoon I met Lola II and in the evening we met up with Mr M for my last 60th birthday meal (of three), this time at a Venezuelan restaurant. It took me four months to book the first one, and this one took place just ten days short of a year after that. I like to make birthdays last.

On Wednesday we had two notable events. First, a plumber arrived to help us trace a water leak, and by the way fixed the upstairs toilet flush (hooray). The water leak still needs more investigation, unfortunately. Second, two buyers visited to assess the huge collection of books that dad amassed, offered a frankly pitiful amount of money and took them all away. After cleaning the shelves we moved photo albums, cards and ornaments from the dining room to make the room look less bereft, and on my next visit I brought over some books from Lola Towers that I mean to keep.

On Thursday I planned a day out at the Natural History Museum, mainly because Mr MXF and BL2 suggested meeting there for lunch. I've been going there since I was a child, and while some of the exhibits are carefully curated and looked after (a corridor of minerals, endangered birds, the museum's 'Treasures'), the whole experience gave the impression of being just a little bit tired, with missing light bulbs, thick layers of dust and touch screens not working. 

The dinosaur exhibit might once have been cutting edge, but they have filled a gloriously decorated Victorian room with girders and spotlights and made the actual exhibits quite hard to see and the labelling hard to read - one case had white text on an orange background with no lighting and I have no idea what was there. The café staff were probably doing their best, but apparently when an order for decaf tea is taken at the till it isn't passed on (they had to take my receipt away to fulfil my order).

Mr MXF and BL2 were on good form - Mr MXF has succumbed to his genetic heritage and had a mild heart attack, so now he has a stent and a cupboard full of pills but is in good health otherwise. BL2 is enjoying retirement and has discovered U3A. I hope to see more of them next year.

And the saga of UJ as a lodger is at an end - she has finally moved out, although she missed the first flight she had booked, she was hoovering at 1 a.m. and her belongings took a little longer to leave the house, the last few boxes being picked up the following day. I am looking after a few lamps, vases and plants until she returns to collect them. She has returned to Ukraine for Christmas and New Year and intends to come back to the UK next year and find her own place. 

Fungus, food, foray, films

Collegiate Church of St Mary, Warwick, October 2025

Merlin Sheldrake is a mycologist who has written a brilliant book on fungus called Entangled Life. I read it when I picked it off the shelves at my last solitary retreat, and enjoyed the book so much that I bought a copy to give to someone. Then I discovered that he is on a speaking tour around the country, and as none of the tour dates and locations were convenient, I bought a ticket instead to an event that would be broadcast online. He wasn't quite as much of a showman as he needed to be to pull off a world-class event, but the time-lapse images of growing fungi were astonishingly beautiful.

My Buddhist group has celebrated the return of one of our members who has been accepted into the Triratna Buddhist Order. This is a big deal for us - this is the first person in this group (which has been running for more than 20 years) to be ordained. For the celebration I baked vegan walnut brownies using gluten free flour, then went and put oat milk in them so they weren't gluten free, and they ended up with no structural integrity which resulted in nothing but (delicious) brownie crumbs. So then I used the rest of the gluten free flour to make sultana cookies, and they were fine coming out of the oven but then set as hard as rock. Everyone brought all sorts of cakes and biscuits that were much better than mine.

I generally look after the tea box between our weekly meetings and I really don't need a whole box of sweet treats plus cookies and chocolate walnut brownie crumbs lying around the house, calling out my name as I walk past them. The cookies went in the bin, I gave the brownie crumbs to Muscles, and I've actually put the rest in the loft - an extreme step, but necessary. I can bring them down for the group next week.

I went for another day trip to Warwick to see the sights I couldn't fit in the last time, starting with St Mary's church. It was a grey rainy day so the tower was closed but there was quite a lot of other stuff to see, including a great deal about various Warwickshire regiments, one of which was commanded by Field Marshall Montgomery. The banner representing the honour of his Order of the Garter is hanging in the church. There's also a crypt that contains the business part of a ducking stool. And all the wooden pews in the choir have carvings of musicians and animals.

I went on to Hill Close Gardens but it was closed for a private event, so that means another trip to Warwick will be needed. Instead, I returned to the Lord Leycester Hospital to look at everything I missed on the last tour, and then back to the museum which was advertising an exhibit about British Blind Sport, which has its headquarters in Leamington and is celebrating its 50th year. It was a very small exhibit, and the most interesting part for me was a couple of short videos about Goalball (a bit like bowling but with goals and goalkeepers) and Showdown (a bit like air hockey and table tennis combined).

Apart from Buddhism and local tourism I've watched the usual collection of films, many of which have been above average. I would recommend Kitchen Brigade (French), Sing Sing (set in the New York prison), Signs of Life (a non-speaking woman goes on holiday), Better Man (avoid if you don't like Robbie Williams, but recommended if you do), and Better Days (another French one). The Royal Spa Centre continues to show films that I want to see.

It's been a good week

August 2025

I've taken over the task of ordering dad's gravestone in exchange for Lola II following up his brain donation pathology report with Parkinson's UK. The style of the stone has to be a particular type because of the rules of the Woodland cemetery, but there are still choices of material and wording and lettering. Lola II started the process and I phoned two companies for further clarification and asked each of them to come up with prices. I never knew how many choices there needed to be, but we're within a hair's breadth of placing the order.

Sister D and I went to an exhibition at the British Museum about Jain, Buddhist and Hindu art in early India. We agreed it was good but not outstanding. In local news, I went to a 'bring-your-own-curry-to-share' event with the local trading group, and as well as having conversations with interesting people I traded a digital radio to a couple, following which we had a discussion about how they might actually want to buy my house. It will be a good story if it comes off.

The U3A walking group is flourishing with 15 walkers of whom 12 stayed for lunch last week - too many, most agreed, because of the time it now takes to get us all over stiles, let alone the implications on food service in the pub at the end. One of the group who is a surgeon is going out to the West Bank to volunteer via a medical charity that supports the cause of the Palestinians. Another chap had routine blood tests and was given very bad dietary advice by a nurse about his borderline high cholesterol. Another person used to be a palliative care nurse who I asked about her views of the Assisted Dying Bill. More interesting conversations ensued. One person asked me what I thought about Prince Andrew and I was very glad to tell him that I had no view whatever due to my news blackout. This is not quite true; I have been listening to The News Quiz and watching Have I Got News For You, but really? Prince Andrew? On a lovely walk in the country?

UJ has been staying with me for three years now, and will be leaving me soon (at my request). As is her habit, everything is very last minute and nothing much seems to have left the building yet. The evening before the day we had agreed she would move out she admitted that she couldn't do it in time, and we have agreed a further extension. 

Because of this last minute approach she has been paying over the odds for train travel when she has to go to the London office. Recently she discovered that there was a coach direct from Leamington to Victoria once a day, costing less than a tenner, so she gave it a try. It leaves Leamington at 2.50 a.m. and arrives in London at 5.20 a.m. and I don't think she found the cost saving outweighed the sleep deprivation. On the other hand, the direct coach in the other direction leaves London at midnight and arrives in Leamington at 2.30 a.m. which is exactly what she needs after she's missed the last train. 

She told me the story of what happened the last time she needed to get to the office early for a meeting. She got to the bus stop in Leamington but the coach had already left, five minutes early. So she phoned the company who apologised and agreed to get her a taxi to catch up at its next stop, asking only for her booking reference, at which point she realised she'd actually booked the ticket for the next day. So then when her workplace opened she phoned the people who'd organised the meeting to apologise for her absence, only to find the meeting wasn't until next month.

Retreating

Above the clouds in a Welsh valley, September 2025

The retreat went very well, thank you for asking. It was a 'serious' type of retreat and is linked with my path towards future membership of the Triratna Buddhist Order. In the past I have found the pressure cooker atmosphere within this retreat centre, which is a little bit too small for the number of people there, quite hard to deal with, and was not entirely looking forward to the experience.

This time I coped much better despite there being even more retreatants than usual (there were three in my bedroom including one person in an upper bunk bed). I believe it's a combination of factors - I have become a lot more patient and tolerant  of other people in the last few years; the topic is not for beginners, so everyone has some years of practice under their belt; and there was a lot of intellectual effort required and not too much demand for spirituality, which suits me. And the weather was very uncharacteristically dry for Wales, so I could get out and do some long walks, which happened to include some of the best fungus ever. The longest walk is one that I try to include each time I'm there, and last time I did it I remember feeling my strength running out for the last stretch. This time, having been seeing Muscles for a year, I did the walk in less time and extended it even further.

We were studying a very hefty work of theology and philosophy ('A Survey of Buddhism') which is written in a literary style that requires a dictionary. I felt for those whose first language is not English. But alongside the impenetrable text was the additional challenge that a couple of people brought coughs and colds with them and generously spread them around, then there was a minor outbreak of diarrhoea and vomiting followed by confirmation of at least two people with Covid. Somehow I dodged all the bullets and came home well.

While at this retreat centre several years ago, I came upon a 'community library' of second hand books on one of my walks, housed inside a bus stop. I couldn't resist taking a book, but had no book to leave behind on that occasion. It remained on my mind, and on this retreat I returned to the bus stop library and gave it back a book. Unfortunately I stayed to browse, and found another book I wanted to read so I still owed the library a book. This carried on when I took another one but put two back and at the end of the day I think we're square. And I had lots of books to read on the retreat.

Coming home to the hundreds of emails and other messages took a full two days to get through. Life on retreat weighs so little - the only responsibility being to turn up for things and to do the small jobs you sign up for - chopping veg or washing up or cleaning, maybe an hour each day. My responsibilities at home take up so much more time - the boiler needs more work, there were messages from the orthodontist and the optician, I need to contact a roofer, I have to shop, and cook, and do the laundry, and book trains, and attend to things to do with UJ's visa extension, and check my gas and electricity contract and mum's, to see if it needs to change to a cheaper one. Being on retreat is quite attractive, as long as the people are nice, the subject is accessible and I don't get ill.

Trying to be idle

Worcestershire, March 2025

I am consciously trying to fit less into my days, but it isn't easy. I've just spent a happy hour browsing the different live venues in my area for films, shows, theatre and live music, and booked two events, one for later this month and the other in October. On the other hand, on Thursday evening I am considering neither going to badminton nor supporting our introductory course to meditation and Buddhism. But I have agreed to lead the Buddhist group on Tuesday, because nobody else is available, so how could I refuse? (Update - the person who was supposed to send out the email about the Tuesday evening meeting failed to do so, so only three people came and one of them was an hour late. So I'm saving my idea for next time I'm asked to lead.)

I am no nearer to solving this puzzle of how to spend my time. Everything is flexible given that I don't have a paid job, but there is quite a bit that needs to get done - things like insurance renewal, house maintenance, keeping the garden in check - so I find it difficult to be at home doing nothing. For a while I tried to abandon the lists that keep track of the jobs that are waiting, because I thought it might make it easier to do nothing, but instead I was always on edge worrying that I would miss a commitment or a deadline. There is a good deal of satisfaction in crossing jobs off the list, but the list never gets any shorter. I don't know what the answer is.

One of the jobs on the list relates to my progress towards ordination. I'm meeting three good friends who have agreed to support me in this, and to get the most out of the meeting it's been suggested that I write a kind of report. There's a framework for this in eight sections, but I'm finding it extremely tedious - in fact, I'm writing this as a distraction before going back to carry on with section five. It will be easier next time.

Given that I am determinedly trying to do less, there's not much more to say here. I've been to see mum and we had a lovely trip to Lidl, I've been working in the garden, watching some tennis, some films and reading, board games, badminton and volunteering. It's interesting that this is what I've been up to when I'm trying not to do too much.

Cooking

March 2025

I'm going through a particularly busy period at the moment, again (when will I ever learn?) One of the things I've been doing is a whole lot of cooking for people - there have been many recent cooking events, two of which included someone whose dietary requirements are the most restrictive I've had to deal with. 

The first meal was at the Birmingham Buddhist Centre, where I'm going to be volunteering on Tuesdays when I'm not doing something previously arranged (like volunteering elsewhere, staying with friends, and retreats). This is to cover for someone who's gone off to be ordained, so it's going to continue until mid July. The people who work there (including the one with the severely restricted diet) have a team lunch (which I will attend) followed by a team meeting (which I won't) and they take turns to cook. I'm only doing the cooking on alternate occasions that I'm there, along with jobs like testing the fire alarm, a bit of cleaning, and replacing consumables like toilet rolls, washing up liquid and hand soap. Having done a quick stock take, next time I'm there I'm going to go through the store cupboard to release some of the older jars back into the wild.

At the end of the day of that meal, for our regular weekly Buddhist meeting I'd offered supper to our visiting speaker who was coming from Milton Keynes. He got caught up in the terrible traffic mess nearby that has been caused by a large bridge installation for HS2, so it took him twice as long as it should. As well as inviting the team, I also invited someone who hasn't been to Lola Towers before, and he got completely lost, gave up, went to our meeting venue and missed supper altogether. He was leading the meeting the following week, so I gave him another chance.

The third cooking event was as a result of a fundraising auction, which I don't seem to have mentioned before. The Birmingham Buddhist Centre is in dire need of renovation, and one of the fundraising ideas was an auction of activities - things that people like to do that others could pay for. There were offers of lessons in paddleboarding, sourdough cooking, poetry, swimming, snooker, and crochet; there were guided walks in and around Birmingham; there were home-made items including clothing, jewellery, art and toys; there were press night tickets at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre; there were meals at a local cafe. I won a guided walk around Worcester, and I offered a three-course vegetarian or vegan meal for six, which went for £90 to one of the Buddhist communities in Birmingham, where six people live together in a shared house.

They wanted vegan food, and although the person with the dietary restrictions said she was fine to do some of it herself, I felt as a matter of principle that I should include her. So I created a soup out of all the vegetables that were on the list, then a deconstructed pasta dish that included gluten-free lasagne sheets and buckwheat, and a lemon tart made with gluten-free flour. Lola II had told me to remember to take pictures, which I remembered just as the last mouthful of the lemon tart was being savoured (it really was a good one). So it went entirely unrecorded for posterity.

The next cooking event was for the chap who hadn't managed to find Lola Towers the previous week and involved another three people too, and then the following evening I offered supper to another friend. And this weekend I've been away with two other friends, and we were cooking for one another again. Now I'm ready for a break from cooking.

Positive news

Worcestershire, October 2024

I hardly need report that I've been away on retreat again, this time just for a long weekend during Easter. Four of us from the Warwick group went together, including someone who hadn't been on one of our retreats before. It turned out that he had plenty of experience of meditation and Buddhism and retreats within other Buddhist traditions, and he meditates a great deal more than I do. It was very interesting getting to know him anyway, and he wasn't put off by any of it, which is a bonus.

Another way that I've been stretching myself involves something called a 'kula'. This is a group of people who are both Order Members and my friends, and who commit themselves to meeting occasionally in order to support me in my journey towards ordination. It's by no means compulsory to have a kula, and not necessary at the start of the journey, but I've been steeling myself because I find the idea quite challenging. I've now got as far as asking three people, who thankfully have all said yes, so that's done for now. Now I just have to find a way to get them to meet, which is likely to be a considerable challenge.

Our Warwick group is going from strength to strength, and we have started to find ourselves supported by two regular Order Members, one from Birmingham and the other from Milton Keynes. I've been trying to arrange a team meeting between five of us, and out of 60 different time slots there were only two that were suitable and even then only four out of five of us could make it.

I spent a day with mum taking her to the local hospital to have a lump on her leg cut out. I actually found it quite enjoyable spending time with her, although it probably wasn't her idea of a great day out with her daughter. It was almost impossible to park at the hospital - I left the car in a slightly illegal place in the renal unit with her Blue Badge displayed and got away with it; they also double booked the appointment slot before ours so we got into the clinic room at 4.30pm for an appointment that was scheduled at 2.45pm. Once inside the procedure seemed very straightforward and hopefully her recovery will also run smoothly.

My news blackout continues and I'm getting quite used to not knowing much about what's going on. Have I Got News For You informed me about some female celebrities who went up in a rocket, squealed a lot, talked a lot of rubbish about love, sang a song and imagined they were astronauts - you might as well say that turning a light switch on and off makes you an electrician. And the Pope has died and everyone is watching the film Conclave again. I have to say that even this level of news seems wholly unnecessary.

I am managing various financial admin projects on mum's behalf associated with dad's estate and other investments, and for a change things seem to be moving in the right direction. There's also been admin in respect of UJ and the Homes for Ukraine scheme, also going well, and I tried to give blood but they turned me away because of my imminent periodontal work and the risk of levels of infection in the blood. Swings and roundabouts, people, swings and roundabouts.

A very ordinary week

Dovecote, Kyre Hall Park, October 2024

There's been nothing special to report for the whole week, in which I did all the things that I regularly do, and a few optional extras, and it was all fine.

• the weekly shop
• the U3A board games group
• a candlelit vigil in town to commemorate three years of the war in Ukraine
• Monday evening badminton
• a GRUHI trip to the tip and to Action 21 with all the electrical junk
• watched a film at home
• Tuesday evening Buddhists
• visit to mum
• a session with Muscles (my personal trainer)
• a bonus massage (because I'm worth it)
• Thursday evening badminton
• the U3A ramble
• a Buddhist team meeting via Zoom
• the Repair Café LETS trading table to try and get rid of more stuff (nobody wanted anything)
• my music group (I have been given a big solo this term)
• watched another film at home
• did nearly all the necessary routine admin
• a film at the cinema to end the week.

I do try to find interesting content for this blog, but there really isn't any this week. I'm looking forward to warmer weather - I find February the cruellest month. Daffodils are appearing in the garden and the paving is invisible under its blanket of weeds. So, much the same as every year.

Buddhism update

October 2024

Our little local Buddhist group is an offshoot of the nearest Buddhist Centre in Birmingham, but we are supported by a collection of individuals known as 'Groups & Pioneers' run by the Triratna Development Team. Groups & Pioneers comprises people in a similar position to us, i.e. supporting a small local group, or trying to start one. The Development Team arranges an annual retreat, which I have just attended, and as usual it was thought-provoking and inspiring. I came home with fewer ideas than normal because a) we are now doing pretty much all we can, and b) I have adjusted my ambition for the Warwick group down from 'Grow to a Centre' to 'Continue to Thrive'.

On the way there I collected a friend who was flying in from Dublin, and then discovered that his flight home wasn't until the day after the end of the retreat. He was happy to accept the invitation to stay with me for the extra day, and rewarded me with a meal out and home-made pizza for me and UJ (and enough for about four other people).

He and his wife rent out a room in their house, and less than a year ago the Red Cross in Ireland placed a Ukrainian refugee and her traumatised 5-year-old son with them. It has not been a success, and while he was away the relationship deteriorated to the extent that he has had to ask the Red Cross to remove and rehouse them. So I was pleased that he had the chance to chat to UJ and find some reassurance that they were just unlucky with their guest. And I have been very lucky.

While I was at the retreat centre I also found out that the main cook, who has been there nearly a year, is off sick and unlikely to be back for a while. This puts quite a strain on the team even though they now have a deputy chef, and I love working there in the kitchen, so I suggested I might find some time to volunteer. But looking at the state of my diary, and trying to avoid my habitual tendency to over-commit, I have pulled back from offering any dates until April. I am proud of myself for doing less!

In a very unusual week I had five different meetings with different Buddhists over the last weekend as well as four more during the week in person and via Zoom. In between these I continue to have a great time doing all sorts of varied and constructive activities as well as keeping on top of the (much less enjoyable) admin. So I have no complaints, and life is feeling particularly pleasant at the moment, as long as I spend no more than ten minutes listening to the news.

Meetings

East Sussex, July 2024

There have been many meetings in my life recently, some of them containing more business than just coffee at a local place. The Buddhist team for the local group had an online meeting, so did my group of Buddhist women that I see regularly, and my study group is meeting in person until the end of the year. Continuing the Buddhist theme, we had a social event in my new favourite restaurant in Leamington (an-all vegetarian version of my previous favourite restaurant), and I've been to a couple of Buddhist events in Birmingham.

Aside from the Buddhists I attended the Folk Festival Venue Managers' meeting. It turns out that I am a Deputy Venue Manager (Communications team) along with another chap, and given that the actual Venue Manager is retiring, we are in charge next time. I am trying hard to be supportive without actually taking any responsibility, and it seems to be working so far. I won't be able to attend the next meeting in May, which will help with this plan.

I continue to fill my days with regular stuff other than the Buddhism - walks, board games, badminton, personal training and now more film than before. One of the U3A people I met through board games - the one who came to the film festival, and will probably have to be given a pseudonym before long - is interested in films, so I've been going to the Spa Centre where the afternoon performance is only £4.50 if you're 60, and a loyalty card gives you the seventh visit for free. It's probably the first loyalty card I've actually been loyal to. [Latest update - sadly my new U3A and film friend has fallen off his bike and broken his hip, so I'm on my own again for the time being.]

UJ has returned from her trip back home to Kyiv, and as has happened each time she's returned after going home, her English has deteriorated to the point that I have to make her repeat what she's saying several times e.g. to work out that she's saying 'faucet' instead of 'tap'. She will watch films at home with me, and we have several episodes of Taskmaster to catch up on. She sometimes invites me to go to the cinema with her, and often I accept, but usually regret it - the cinema is generally crowded because she can't go on a weekday afternoon, and she likes films that aren't always to my taste.

Inter-Faith panel

Adhisthana cats, June 2024

My trading table at the Leamington Repair café resulted in minimal GRUHI but was a very social affair, and I'm tempted to do it again just for the chat. Meanwhile my complaint about the safety of the roofing job went to the HSE, I received a couple of follow up emails asking for more information, and nothing since then.

Two Buddhist things of note this week. Since the pandemic times there have been retreats offered for online participation. I tend to avoid them because going online at home makes it difficult to create conditions that allow me to get the best out of the retreat. I get distracted by phone and email and housework and my long list of projects. But for a retreat that took place last weekend I got together with three other friends and we rented an Airbnb cottage (more like a mansion actually) and did the retreat there, which was absolutely wonderful.

The other Buddhist thing: for several years my group has been invited to send someone to the local girls prep school for an Inter-Faith panel. Normally we can't find anyone to take part and we have to turn them down, but this year I went and represented Buddhism alongside people who were Sikh, Hindu, Muslim, Christian and 'no faith/utilitarian'. It was quite a step for me personally, and raised all sorts of confusing questions about who exactly I am nowadays, but apart from that it went quite well. The pupils submitted a load of questions, mostly ethically orientated (does your faith allow abortion, do you welcome LGBTQ people etc.) but also the question "What's your favourite thing about your religion?"

Most of the answers were unsurprising, except for the Muslim woman who represented Islam as being the best religion for women because men were restricted to just four wives ("previously they had had hundreds"), but only if the first can't bear children or for some reason can't 'satisfy his needs' or he just falls for someone else. And this was her favourite thing about Islam, along with not having to pray if you're menstruating. I was not impressed. And a little bit shocked, if I'm honest.

To end with a very minor conundrum - I've been enjoying the board games group a great deal. We tend to play two games over the afternoon, or sometimes the same game twice, but for the last few times I've attended, I've won both times. Everyone is very nice and I don't think anyone minds, but I'm starting to think I need to try less hard and give someone else a chance. That's going to be quite a challenge!

What I've been reading

Herzog
by Saul Bellow

"His formidable wife Madeleine has left him for his best friend. His head buzzing with ideas, he writes frantic, unsent letters to friends and enemies, colleagues and famous people, the living and the dead, revealing the spectacular workings of his labyrinthine mind and the innermost secrets of his troubled heart."

A 'Modern Classic' with this idiosyncratic tic of including his interpolated letters and notes that simply irritated me, while the literary and historical references were lost on me. The last few chapters had less of this, and were much more satisfactory, even though it wasn't enough to redeem the book.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth
by Jules Verne

narrated by B. J. Harrison

"An adventurous geology professor chances upon a manuscript in which a 16th-century explorer claims to have found a route to the earth's core. Professor Lidenbrock can't resist the opportunity to investigate, and with his nephew Axel, he sets off across Iceland in the company of Hans Bjelke, a native guide."

I still think I remember aspects of the film that was an enjoyable Saturday afternoon classic on TV when I was growing up, but it may just be false memory. The book isn't bad, narration not bad either. Passed the time.

Adventures in Human Being
by Gavin Francis

"We have a lifetime's association with our bodies, but for many of us they remain uncharted territory. The reader is led on a journey through health and illness, offering insights on everything from the ribbed surface of the brain to the secret workings of the heart and the womb; from the pulse of life at the wrist to the unique engineering of the foot."

A mixture of medical, surgical and anecdotal material relating to different parts of the body. Nothing particularly memorable or outstanding but it was interesting enough, and I intend to pass it on to the woman who has been giving me fantastic deep tissue shoulder massage recently.

Creative Symbols of Tantric Buddhism
by Sangharakshita

"The aim of Tantric Buddhism is to help us realize our potential for profound wisdom and unbounded compassion by transforming the energy locked in by old habits, fears, and narrow views. This experience cannot be mediated by concepts; it is beyond words and thought, but it can be evoked with the help of symbols."

This was the textbook for the last module with the group of women that I've studied with for nearly five years. The material is full of mysticism and symbolism and everything is metaphorical - colour, sound, shape and form. Not the easiest subject, but I did learn a bit about the historical context as well as trying to let go of some of my more stubborn habits of mind.

The Tao of Pooh
by Benjamin Hoff

"In which it is revealed that one of the world's great Taoist masters isn't Chinese - or a venerable philosopher - but is in fact none other than that effortlessly calm, still, reflective bear, Winnie-the-Pooh. While Eeyore frets, and Piglet hesitates, and Rabbit calculates, and Owl pontificates, Pooh just is."

So I've been on a solitary retreat, which gives me a lot of space and time to do things that I like, which includes reading. A lot of reading. This was on the shelves there, and I remember when it was first published in 1982 because of earnest friends seeking Eastern wisdom. I wasn't much interested then, but obviously time has brought change. I'm still not sure I understand the difference between Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism, but it doesn't really matter.

An Evil Cradling
by Brian Keenan

"When Brian Keenan went to Beirut in 1980 for a change from his native Belfast, he was kidnapped by fundamentalist Shi'ite militiamen and held in the suburb of Beirut for the next four and a half years. For much of that time he was shut off from all news and contact with anyone other than his jailers and, later, his fellow hostages. "

This is a book that has long appeared on my list of 'Books I'd like to read', perhaps ever since it was published in 1992. Telling the story of his imprisonment in Lebanon as a hostage alongside three Americans and Englishman and journalist John McCarthy, it was not perhaps the best choice of reading for a solitary retreat. But being thrown upon one's own resources provides insight into the nature of mind, strength and personality. Clearly a cottage in Worcestershire is not the same as a dungeon in Beirut, but his story provided much to admire and emulate from my comfortable room. John McCarthy's book was also on the shelves, but I decided it wasn't sensible to continue this sort of reading at this time.

The Heart: The Art of Meditation
by Vessantara

"Cultivating more warmth, more kindness and more happiness is possible for all of us. Through the lovingkindness meditation, the gentle and encouraging approach of experienced meditator Vessantara helps us to discover the positive wonder of what is already in our hearts."

This small book focusses on the meditation that I was concentrating on during my solitary retreat - it's a beginner's primer, but with lots of useful hints and tips, and one of those books that contains exercises that you can do but I always skip. Well, on retreat there's nothing else that needs to be done, so I didn't skip the exercises (except the one that involved being in a crowded place), and it was really interesting to watch my mind doing its thing.

A Slip of the Keyboard
by Terry Pratchett

"With all the humour and humanity that have made his novels so enduringly popular, this collection brings Pratchett out from behind the scenes of the Discworld to speak for himself – man and boy, bibliophile and computer geek, champion of hats, orang-utans and Dignity in Dying."

Essentially this is a book of Terry Pratchett's essays written throughout his life as articles in the paper, forewords to books, speeches at Science Fiction conventions and so on. I discovered that he started his career as a journalist for a local paper, became a press officer within the nuclear power industry before the joy of his words and imagination made him a millionaire and a national treasure.

Truckers
by Terry Pratchett

"To the thousands of the tiny nomes who live under the floorboards of a large department store, there is no Outside. Things like Day and Night, Sun and Rain are just daft old legends. Then a devastating piece of news shatters their existence: the Store - their whole world - is to be demolished."

Because the cottage contained every Terry Pratchett book (I think) - and in chronological order on the shelves, it's been interesting to follow up little nuggets  from the book of essays. This is why I started reading Truckers with only one day before I'd have to leave - it's less complicated than the Discworld so I thought I'd have a chance of finishing it, which I did. As it's written for younger readers there's not so much of the clever wit that I love, but it's a neat idea taken more seriously than, say, the Borrowers.

 

Living with Kindness
by Sangharakshita

"Kindness is one of the most basic qualities we can possess, and one of the most powerful. Living with Kindness shows us how to cultivate many of the facets of kindness in ordinary, everyday life through the Buddha's teaching of metta in the Karaniya Metta Sutta."

This book was lent to me for the retreat, and has two themes. One is the meditation that I was working on during the retreat, and the other is the translation and analysis of the ancient text that led to the practice. The former is covered no better or worse than in two of the other books I brought with me, but the translation is fascinating. I'm tempted by the Sanskrit summer school that's available, but really I have enough already on my plate without adding another spoonful.

Meditation: The Buddhist Way of Tranquility and Insight
by Kamalashila

"A complete handbook and a comprehensive guide to the theory, methods, and practice of Buddhist meditation. Providing an introduction to the basic techniques for beginners, Kamalashila also offers detailed advice and reference material for those more experienced."

A very comprehensive manual starting at the very beginning but also including some pretty advanced meditation practices and techniques, which it has become clear I don't come close to mastering. A training day I attended recently included an interesting discussion about the purpose of meditation - is it to foster higher levels of consciousness, or to enable better awareness of self and other, both on and off the cushion? This book is heavily invested in the former, but all my efforts will have to remain centred on the latter.

Mostly difficult stuff going on

Hlf, September 2024

Recently I visited mum and realised that I'd left one job so long that her email client (Outlook 2007) was going to stop working in less than a week - Microsoft no longer consider it secure because it's so old, and will prevent it from accessing her emails. So I swapped it for an alternative client, and the best part was that I also managed to upload her stored history of emails and her address book, which took a very long time but made me very happy to have achieved it. Then on the next visit I discovered that the new client was also blocked, and I managed to wrestle it to the ground and unblock it, but at the cost of losing all the emails that had arrived within a period of five days. Initially I thought I'd lost the whole Inbox and all the Sent items too, so losing just five days felt like a win.

I managed to go to the RSC to see The Merry Wives of Windsor. Whenever I go there, which is very seldom, I always vow I should go more. It's top quality theatre on my doorstep, so I don't know why I don't. And the roofers and my new glasses arrived on consecutive days in an expensive week. While the roofers were working I did a session of pruning in the garden - only three bags full, much more is needed.

Another thing that's been going on is renewing my car insurance. Over the years I have chosen to use a local broker for many of my policies - car, household, landlord insurance - but it has been well publicised that prices for insurance are rising. Generally what happens is that the broker gives me a quote, I go online and find the same cover at a lower price, and up to now they have managed to reduce their quote to something more acceptable. This time the renewal quote was £200 more than last year and when I went online the lowest quote was £170 less than this. I don't always choose the lowest quote, but the most common amount was still about £150 less than the broker, and they couldn't or wouldn't go anywhere near matching it. I don't quite see how they are going to survive on the High Street.

I've also been on retreat, which went very well - it was aimed at people who don't necessarily know anything about meditation or Buddhism, and so a) was much shorter than the heavy-duty retreats I've been attending and b) was at an introductory level in terms of teaching. But I chose it because it focussed on a topic that I've always found difficult, so I thought that starting from the beginning again might be useful. It was, but not in the way I expected. It was lovely to see people finding something they'd been looking for without knowing it, and to remember what I was like when I went on my first retreat at this centre when I didn't know who I was or what I wanted either. I've come a long way and all for the better.

I was going to carry on northwards for a weekend in York so arranged to drop in on H+B on the way. The York weekend had to be cancelled, but I went to H+B anyway, and talked about dismal things like the Office of the Public Guardian, Enduring Powers of Attorney, Executorship and Probate. But we wandered round the garden too, and admired the brickwork and freshly painted frontage of the house, and marvelled at the flat upstairs which is up for let at an eye-watering monthly sum. H is well, looks good, but is feeling his age (aren't we all). We agreed that the main thing for the avoidance of excruciating administrative entanglement is for H to remain alive for the time being, which thankfully he seems happy to do.

A big event is tiring

Adhisthana, August 2024

I love writing this blog, but I also have a very full life which I enjoy, so I'm not exactly complaining about the lack of time to sit down and write. But I've been meaning to write this for ages - the details may have escaped but impressions remain.

I was a bit less than halfway through my volunteering at Adhisthana when I had the weekend off and went home. After that, I did have another half day off when I visited Former Land Rover Man and Former Bee Lady who live quite nearby - this trip only interrupted by the fact that my car battery was completely dead. Luckily the retreat centre has all sorts of useful gadgets, including a special jump starter for car batteries which was impressively effective. FLRM and FBL were on good form despite FBL's broken wrist. I brought a cake for us all, which was kindly declined because a walk was planned to a place where I was promised cake, only to discover that cake was completely sold out. So we happily ate some of the one I brought.

Apart from that little excursion I worked solidly for eight long days, and sadly only a couple of hours of that were in the kitchen, because they have now recruited more permanent kitchen help. Setting up the barn for meals and drinks involved a lot of moving furniture, food and equipment; setting up rooms as dormitories meant carrying about mattresses, duvets and pillows, and there was lots of preparatory cleaning. 

I found out about all sorts of secret cupboards and storage spaces within the grounds including 'the silos' and 'the swimming pool' (which actually is a swimming pool). Every room was occupied, sometimes in excess of what they normally held - for example, the yoga studio was set up with 14 beds - so I was moved out to one of the cabins used for solitary retreats. It was a beautiful spot with the added bonus that I didn't have to get in line for the showers. 

Then as people started to arrive I was put on reception together with four other people, which I enjoyed a great deal. But my main job throughout the weekend was at the drinks and toast station in the barn - toast at breakfast time and drinks at morning and afternoon tea breaks. This wasn't very tiring work in itself, but the standing up and the long hours and the cumulative effect of working so hard meant that I became more and more weary as the week went on. 

Obviously there was a big team working behind the scenes to stage this event, and we were all wheeled out in front of the masses at the end so that we could be properly thanked. Then, as usual, when it was time for me to go everybody on the team gets to tell me how lovely they think I am, which as ever was pleasing but difficult to sit through. The nicest comment was that it felt as though I'm someone who lives and works there but gets to go away for long periods.

My car wouldn't start again when I was ready to go home, but it was booked in for a routine service anyway the next day. After some thought I decided to drop it at the garage rather than take it home, and it was a good thing I did because it didn't start for them next morning. A new battery, and everything's fine again.

Lola II tempted me to meet her in Banbury the next evening, and we talked non-stop for about five hours and sorted out a lot of admin for an upcoming event (of which more later no doubt). Unfortunately we didn't keep an eye on the time, and while I was only 15 minutes away by train, Lola II's journey home turned into a bit of a marathon. The next day I was off to see mum, and we had a very successful time sorting out all the business that has arisen. 

Since then I've been on a walk with a friend, then another friend came to stay for Saturday night and a really interesting musical event in a local community wood,  I've donated blood, had my boiler serviced, had a first consultation with a Personal Trainer, been to the optician (new glasses are truly eye-wateringly expensive), attended two of my online study groups, played board games, played badminton, and attended Buddhist groups in person (twice). In between all of this I was catching up with all the stuff that had been left unattended while I was volunteering. I think I've nearly caught up, but it feels as though I might easily have missed something.

What I've been reading

The Accidental Tourist
by Anne Tyler

narrated by Joe Barrett

"After the loss of his son and the departure of his wife, Macon neatly folds his anguish back into place and adapts the household on to more efficient lines. But with the arrival of Muriel, an eccentric and vulnerable dog trainer from the Meow-Bow dog clinic, his attempts at ordinary life are tragically and comically undone."

The sort of book I have been looking for on the Classics list - not 'clever', not 'original', but with a story that has some pace, characters that can be distinguished from one another, and a structure to the book that makes sense. In that regard I was very pleased to have read it; the only problem was that I didn't find the dilemma at the heart of the story plausible. Should he return to the wife who had left him or stay with the woman who had taken her place? I didn't warm to either of them so his eventual choice became arbitrary.

Nights at the Circus
by Angela Carter

"Fevvers is an aerialiste extraordinaire and star of Colonel Kearney's circus. She is also part woman, part swan. Dazzled by his love for her, and desperate for the scoop of a lifetime, journalist Jack Walser has no choice but to join the circus on its magical tour through turn-of-the-nineteenth-century London, St Petersburg and Siberia."

What a ride this book took me on, alongside a menagerie of exotic and flamboyant characters led by the earthy Fevvers. When I was at university someone recommended reading Angela Carter's stories based on fairy tales, and I did, but didn't really understand the appeal back then. This book and the fact that I still remember the other one forty years later is tempting me to try reading that other book again, with forty years of life experience and love and loss and pain and joy. That's what this story has done, and it was a wild and wonderful ride.

Pachinko
by Min Jin Lee

"A club-footed, cleft-lipped man marries a fifteen-year-old girl. The couple have one child, their beloved daughter Sunja. When Sunja falls pregnant by a married yakuza, the family face ruin. But then a Christian minister offers a chance of salvation: a new life in Japan as his wife."

I do like a family saga, and this was particularly interesting because of the setting in Korea and Japan from the first world war onwards. I didn't have any prior knowledge of the relationship between these two nations, and learned a little alongside the main story of the family's fortunes over this period. A good read, but not outstanding.

Buddhism Without Beliefs: A Contemporary Guide to Awakening
by Stephen Batchelor

"What the Buddha taught was not something to believe in, but something to do. The book demystifies Buddhism by explaining, without jargon or obscure terminology, what awakening is and how to practise it. "

My enjoyment of this book was significantly diminished because the previous owner had added their own extensive notes to every page and almost every paragraph. I had no interest in their views, and it's hard to focus on the printed words with such distracting annotations. It's probably worth another look at a clean copy because the author had some useful things to say.

The Good Husband of Zebra Drive
by Alexander McCall Smith

"As winter turns to spring across Botswana's red earth and slow green rivers, all is not well on Zebra Drive. Mma Ramotswe has plenty of work, ranging from thefts at the printing works to suspicious deaths at the Mochudi hospital. But when Mr J.L.B. Matekoni - trying to prove himself as a worthy husband - has to go at a little detective work, disaster looms."

I picked this up from a train station book swap shelf because I'd run out of my own reading material, otherwise I wouldn't have chosen to add another to my collection of Ladies Detective Agency books. It's OK though - you know what you're going to get, and he evokes the atmosphere of Botswana so well.

Four Thousand Weeks: Time and How to Use it

by Oliver Burkeman

"We're obsessed with our lengthening to-do lists, our overfilled inboxes, the struggle against distraction, and the sense that our attention spans are shrivelling. Still, we rarely make the connection between our daily struggles with time and the ultimate time management problem: the question of how best to use our ridiculously brief time on the planet, which amounts on average to about four thousand weeks."

This book was given to me by the leader of the retreat I went on in July. He gave each of the team members a different book so some thought went into the choice. I am a perfect match for this book because it turns out (according to the author) that I, like him, am a 'productivity geek'. And during this very retreat, I had come to the same conclusion that the author proposes: it isn't helpful to imagine that everything one wishes to do can be done, and acknowledging this fact makes life much easier.

The Minnipins
by Carol Kendall

narrated by Lola II

"In an isolated valley, the Minnipins minded their jobs, dressed simply, and never questioned the leading family. Then five rebels are exiled to the mountains and find that the deadly Mushroom tribe is coming to attack their countrymen."

A children's book written in 1959, this has been my bedtime story whenever Lola II and I have been in the same place with the book and we haven't been too tired. So it's taken a considerable length of time (probably more than a year?) compounded by the fact that the early chapters contain a lot of detail and many names so at one point we had to start again because I'd forgotten who was who. After all that, I hate to have to say that I don't think it's a particularly good story, and character development is particularly poor. Of course the Minnipins survive, rifts are healed and there's a happy ending, but at the expense of too much violence - not fairy tale violence, but heaps of dead bodies of the Mushroom people graphically killed by the sword-wielding Minnipins.

The Ten Pillars of Buddhism
by Sangharakshita

"In a world marked by rapid changes, shifting lifestyles and values, how can we be sure that we are making the best choices for ourselves, others and the world? This small book explores ten basic Buddhist ethical principles and the liberating view of ourselves contained within them."

Lectures given in 1984 have been transcribed and edited into this book, which I've been going through with my Buddhist friends who have also asked for ordination. We've looked at one principle at a time so it's taken a while. As an 'ordinary' Buddhist there are five guiding precepts, and this adds an extra five which are mostly around communication, building on the idea of truthful speech and advocating the avoidance of harsh, frivolous and slanderous speech and the cultivation of tranquillity and compassion as well as wisdom. Of course there's much more to it than these headlines or the lectures or the book can convey, but it gives a flavour that we've been discussing very fruitfully.