What I've been reading

The Way We Live Now
by Anthony Trollope

narrated by Timothy West

"The story concerns Augustus Melmotte, a French swindler and scoundrel, and his daughter, to whom Felix Carbury, adored son of the authoress Lady Carbury, is induced to propose marriage for the sake of securing a fortune."

I finished listening to this on the drive to my two-week retreat, and then indulged in an orgy of book-reading during the retreat (see below). Obviously I love Trollope, but two weeks is a long time before coming up with a 'review' so I can't write anything very profound except that he writes a cracking story with believable characters and generally the good guys come out on top. Like a version of Georgette Heyer that your English teacher would approve of.

The Odyssey
by Homer

"Odysseus' reliance on his wit and wiliness for survival in his encounters with divine and natural forces, during his ten-year voyage home to Ithaca after the Trojan War, is at once a timeless human story and an individual test of moral endurance."

Having read the Iliad first with some idea that one should read a series in order, this was the better story (and no long lists of which tribe came from where with how many ships and warriors). Structured as well as any modern book, starting with Odysseus's son and wife in the present, then switching back to the past through the device of Odysseus telling the story of his journey, before the two strands meet and the Suitors get their just deserts. It was a bit bloody at the end, but it is Ancient Greece after all. I really enjoyed it.

Sangharakshita: A New Voice in the Buddhist Tradition
by Subhuti

"Sangharakshita has established a successful Buddhist movement, pioneering a living Buddhism that seems well suited to our times. Here, one of his closest disciples offers a comprehensive account of Sangharakshita's evolution as a thinker and teacher."

This one took a while to get through, but it helps to put the thinking behind the Western Buddhism movement into context with other, more ancient, traditional and monastic communities. A very useful and timely perspective for me; not recommended for the casual reader.

The Empty Mirror: Experiences in a Japanese Zen Monastery
by Janwillem van de Wetering

"This book tells of the year and a half the author spent in Japan as the disciple of a Zen master in a Buddhist monastery, illustrating the struggles every Buddhist monk has to solve his koan - the mysterious and often illogical question which every Zen master asks his disciples, and to which they are irrevocably bound."

Lent to me by a Buddhist friend, this is a short book that sheds light on what actually went on in the monastery. Zen seems to be designed for hard-core Buddhists who need to feel pain in order to make progress - any tradition that insists I sit in the lotus position is not going to get its spiritual message across to me any day soon. But this guy had a good go at it, and wrote an interesting book.

Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness
by Sharon Salzberg

"The author draws on simple Buddhist teachings, wisdom stories from various traditions, guided meditation practices, and her own experience from twenty-five years of practice and teaching to illustrate how each one of us can cultivate love, compassion, joy, and equanimity—the four 'heavenly abodes' of traditional Buddhism."

This book was recommended to me by a friend in Birmingham because of the trouble I was having with one of the key meditation practices. It's been eight years since I was introduced to the 'Metta Bhavana' meditation and despite trying all sorts of different approaches, I've never quite been able to engage with the principle of developing 'lovingkindness', which is the untranslatable concept of metta. This book together with being on retreat has led to what I think may be a breakthrough. I'll give it some time and see whether it is a lasting effect, or just seemed that way because of being on retreat.

Atlas Shrugged
by Ayn Rand

"In an alternative recent past USA, the innovators, producers and creators have mysteriously disappeared. With the economy now faltering, businesswoman Dagny Taggart is struggling to get the transcontinental railroad up and running."

A truly immense book at over 1100 pages, recommended by another Buddhist because he felt he could draw some parallels with what he has been learning about Buddhism. I read it within the two weeks of the retreat along with finishing five of the other books in this blog post, which just shows what a lot of freedom there is to spend time reading while on retreat. I didn't discern anything relating to Buddhism and there is definitely no need for the book to be that long.  The author is famous for developing an approach to politics and society that is labelled 'Objectivism', and the essence of the story is pretty good if you take it just as a story, but I had to speed-read through the bloated sections where her views are expounded at great length by one or other of her characters.

The Essence of Chán: A Practical Guide to Life and Practice according to the Teachings of Bodhidharma
by Guo Gu

"Legend has it that more than a thousand years ago an Indian Buddhist monk named Bodhidharma arrived in China. He paved the way for a unique and illuminating approach to Buddhist teachings that would later spread across the whole of East Asia in the form of Chan—later to be known as Seon in Korean, Thien in Vietnamese, and Zen in Japanese."

Another loan from another friend, mercifully short and fairly impenetrable to me. I don't think there's much point me reading books about Buddhist teaching without someone to explain it all.

Volunteering in the office

Adhisthana, April 2024

I started my volunteering at Adhisthana, the retreat centre where I'm now based in the office on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday until mid-June. I'm staying there for the two nights rather than commuting back and forth, and I've been given a bedroom in the resident women's community so I don't have to worry about moving rooms. The usual occupant is on sabbatical in Australia, but has left most of her things in the room, which is a bit odd but not a problem. The main challenge is finding my place in the hierarchy of the community - having a room there is a tacit acknowledgement that I'm now accepted as someone worthy of living there, but not completely integrated as they still have a few community events that I'm not invited to. We eat meals together, but at least for the first week I retreated to my room in the evenings to get some of my own admin and work done.

When I arrived there was a mini-emergency as the most enormous food delivery had just been deposited outside the kitchen, so I helped to put that away. Then there was a serious shortage of labour in the kitchen with 100 retreatants expected that evening, so I eased myself back into the life of the volunteer with some vegetable chopping. But then I made a good start in the office, reminding myself of what I'd been shown and what was ahead of me.

I have an adjustable standing desk! and thankfully no phone nor any expectation that I would need to answer a phone. I have access to the 'communications' email address so I had a look at that first, and all of the messages waiting just needed to be forwarded to the 'admin' person who deals with all the bookings and queries about bookings. There's an 'Out of Office' response on the comms email address saying that the usual person is away and giving alternative email options, so I don't feel too much pressure for that part of the job.

I won't write about other aspects of the role yet because there will be ten weeks ahead of me for which I will need to find some content, but some of the most interesting aspects of working in the office rather than the kitchen are glimpses behind the scenes. Although in theory there are about eight people in the 'Operations' team who do the practical work to support retreats, there are usually no more than three in the office at any one time, and most of the time I was there on my own this week (but with good access to people if I needed to ask questions). So I was on my own when the pest control man came to hand over his short report - good news on the whole.

On Friday I drove off to London to spend the weekend with Lola II and Mr M, but with one of the Adhisthana residents in the car because she was also spending the weekend in London but had missed her train! On Saturday Lola II had booked tickets for us both to go to a special exhibition about the Roman Legions at the British Museum. [When we arrived the entrance line was around the block, but with our tickets we could jump the queue.] Mr M joined us for lunch at a Burmese restaurant, and then left us again while we went to the cinema (Civil War - very good but with a lot of shooting and violence). The next day I was needed to help move furniture and all sort of other stuff in advance of carpet fitting this week - Lola II and Mr M both have shoulder problems and only have a couple of good arms between them. They rewarded me with Chinese food for lunch.

Now I have two days to catch up with everything at home, and go to my U3A board games afternoon, go to Monday badminton, take a call from the Homes for Ukraine scheme organisers to mark 18 months that UJ has been living here and check that all is well, prepare for Tuesday evening when I'm in charge of the local Buddhist group programme, and then it's off to Adhisthana again.

Back from the retreat

Tiratanaloka, March 2024

I was pretty apprehensive about the two-week retreat, because I didn't enjoy the last one (over Christmas and New Year) all that much. This time, however, it went very well. The topic was the ten precepts upon which Buddhist ethics is built - three about action, four about speech and three about the mind. The weather - well, it was Wales, but it didn't rain absolutely all of the time, and I managed a couple of long walks.

The main influence on whether I experience a good or bad retreat is the discussion group that I'm placed in. Last time there were only four of us, of whom one struggled to express herself in English (which is not her first language) and another just didn't seem to want to talk, leaving me and one other to carry the discussion, which was pretty tough. This time there were five of us, a very varied bunch, but everyone contributed in a constructive way. 

I came back from the retreat with a stinker of a migraine that put me in bed for the rest of the day. I'm convinced it was caffeine withdrawal, although during the retreat I always chose the teabags that were labelled decaff. This is the second time this has happened so in future I'll be avoiding doubt and taking my own certified decaff drinks.

When I got back it took a while to get through the accumulated messages that had piled up in all my different communication channels. I have visited mum and dad, mowed the lawn (but not trimmed the edges or done any weeding), went for a walk with a friend and his dog, went to Monday badminton, and had a lovely chat when I bumped into a previous landlord of the Pub Next Door. I also went to my monthly clarinet and saxophone group, and was reminded that the sax music is a lot more challenging this term for some reason, and I'm going to have to practise and perhaps even simplify some of it. 

UJ and I are not at home at the same time all that often when she is not working, but we started watching the new series of Taskmaster which is something we can do together. We also did a bit of coordination over our respective schedules for the next few months. UJ will be in charge of the bins and recycling for the next couple of months, because collections are on Thursdays and I will be away volunteering at Adhisthana (the retreat centre) from Wednesday to Friday for almost all of the next 10 weeks. 

I won't be in the kitchen this time, but in the office, trying my hand at marketing and publicity. The person who usually performs this role has gone to Spain for a three-month retreat, during which she will be ordained (accepted into the Triratna Buddhist Order and given a new name). Meanwhile, I will be doing my best not to make a mess of it all because I think I probably have the power to entirely destroy their website, and the access I've been given to their Facebook page and email account is quite frankly foolhardy.

Needing a break

June 2023

Since finishing my badminton volunteering I haven't been feeling like my usual enthusiastic motivated self. Not eating or sleeping well and just a bit reluctant to get started on three different bits tasks relating to the Buddhist group. It's a shame when Buddhism, which has become so important to me, feels like work.

UJ has gone back home to Kyiv for Easter and the house feels strangely quiet and empty without her. I agreed to play two badminton matches in one week which made me tired and I've been doing a lot of driving too - to mum and dad and to Adhisthana, the retreat centre where I previously volunteering in the kitchen but have offered to do some different work for three days a week for ten weeks. More details of this when it happens, but I needed to spend some time there learning about the role. I wake up at the usual time, so there is a cumulative weariness. 

Mr MXF won an award for something he did, and will be at a big exhibition in May. Despite having done some work around the product and the concept, I still have very little idea of exactly what it is, except that it involves metadata in broadcast media. I even managed to do some proofreading for him, which proves that you can proofread without really knowing what any of the words mean, and we had a quick chat about the exhibition and what role I might have there. Again, more will emerge about this if and when it happens.

I managed to schedule a day with nothing in it at all and quite a few walks and coffees and lunch with friends, so that helped a bit, and I'm about to check out for two weeks on a retreat. I look forward to more rest, more time for reading, walks, good food, and much less chocolate and Wotsits.

What I've been reading

What Just Happened?
by Marina Hyde

"Marvel at the sights, from Trumpian WTF-ery to celebrity twattery. And boggle at the cast of characters: Hollywood sex offenders, populists, sporting heroes (and villains), dastardly dukes, media barons, movie stars, reality TV monsters, billionaires, police officers, various princes and princesses, wicked advisers, philanthropists, fauxlanthropists, telly chefs, and (naturally) Gwyneth Paltrow."

Another library book, this time from an author whose politics sketch column I enjoy in the Guardian newspaper. But it's a whole other thing to put all those columns together in book form, and there were a few times when I really thought I couldn't bear to read any more about political corruption and incompetence, even while she was satirising it all. The answer was to read very short amounts at a time, because the writing is good and worth reading, and in the end I did finish it.

Moonfleet
by J. Meade Falkner

"A thrilling Victorian adventure story of smuggling, cursed treasure, code-cracking, injustice, revenge, and friendship. Beginning as a mystery and an adventure story, this tale of smuggling is set among the cliffs, caves, and downs of Dorset."

Borrowed from Lola II when I ran out of reading material at the end of the skiing holiday - I remember the book on the shelf when I was growing up and somehow I don't think I ever read it. It was published in 1898 but set in 1757, which is interesting in itself, comparable to writing a story today set in 1883. Easy to read and follow, it kept me interested from start to finish and that's not been all that common with my book choices recently.

Clouds of Witness
by Dorothy L. Sayers

narrated by B. J. Harrison

"The Duke of Denver, accused of murder, stands trial for his life in the House of Lords. Naturally, his brother Lord Peter Wimsey is investigating the crime - this is a family affair. The murder took place at the duke's shooting lodge and Lord Peter's sister was engaged to marry the dead man. But why does the duke refuse to co-operate with the investigation?"

Apparently this was her second book featuring Lord Peter Wimsey and I was surprised not to have read it before - I thought I'd read all of them. There are a whole array of stereotypical characters: apart from the posh set there was a bounder, an aggressive farmer and his abused wife. It was OK, not one of her best in my opinion.

The Event Control Room

Event Control Room, March 2024

When Badminton England accepted me as a volunteer at the Yonex All-England Open badminton tournament in the Event Control Room, very little further information was given about what the role would entail. I think the application process made it sound a bit like my role in the Radio Room at the Warwick Folk Festival, and that's pretty much what it turned out to be.

The event was on about the same scale as the Folk Festival but lasted a week instead of just a weekend. There were similar volunteer teams overseeing liaison, comms, transport, stewarding and management, but with elite athletes from around the world and their managers looked after by the Field of Play and Team Liaison team rather than musicians and their instruments looked after by Artist Reception and Venue Management. The event is celebrating its 125th year and more than thirty years with the same sponsor in the same venue, and at the induction meeting on Monday evening it transpired that there are people who have been volunteering at this event for fifty years. Fifty years! It's a good sign that they want to keep coming back.

It turned out to be a delightful experience. As expected, the Event Control Room (ECR) was deep in the bowels of what used to be the National Indoor Arena in Birmingham, subsequently known as the Birmingham O2, Barclaycard Arena and now the Utilita Arena. The arena usually hosts large concerts, and in fact I went to see a band playing there a few years ago. 

At the induction meeting before the tournament started I met the team leader, who gave me a backstage tour of all the key areas it would be useful to know about. I have a terrible sense of direction but a very good memory, so I ended up knowing about all sorts of interesting locations but not having a clue how to get to them. It was quite a triumph to actually locate the ECR when I came back the next day for my first shift.

There were just four of us on the ECR roster to cover the whole thing, and then one dropped out. I was a little concerned that this didn't seem to be very many for such a big event, but in fact it would be possible to run with just two people if we had to. Our job entails listening in to all the radio traffic and acting on some of it, mainly in passing messages between the event team managing the badminton and the venue team managing the arena. We check whether everyone is ready for the doors to be opened, and field queries from any team, from finding where a delivery of flowers needs to go to checking how many rows of seats need to be reserved for the royal visit. For there was a royal visit - the Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh (Edward and Sophie, for those like me who are somewhat behind with all the current titles). Apparently they are 'badminton people', according to the Badminton England team, and they stayed for a good chunk of the day.

Most of the time it is quiet in the ECR, and the IT guys set up a couple of screens so we could watch the on-court play and the practice areas downstairs - there are seven practice courts in the basement as well as lots of facilities for the players (gym, lounge, physio areas etc.), and two courts for final warm up on the same level as the show courts. 

When it is not quiet in the ECR it can be a little frenetic, especially when more than one call comes in at a time or when someone with sub-optimal radio skills and a particularly difficult accent is trying to pass on a message or ask a question. It became very tense on Saturday when there was a morning and an afternoon session scheduled, separately ticketed, and the arena was supposed to be emptied in between. The games in the first session ran on so long that by the time everyone was supposed to be outside there was still one more game to be played. What made it particularly stressful is that broadcast schedules are notoriously inflexible, and it was looking as though the last game would still be on court when the first game of the afternoon session was due to start. People for the afternoon session had started to arrive with the expectation that doors would be open, but because the morning session hadn't yet finished they were kept waiting outside. It was all right in the end, but it was probably the most difficult situation that arose all week.

It's really interesting to see how this type of event runs, and we tend to get all sorts of visitors - the CEO and directors of Badminton England and the tournament itself, the head Referee, the Logistics team, the Stewards, the Volunteer Manager, all of whom come with interesting stories to tell. We had some lengthy discussions about how the Prayer area (created for those celebrating Ramadan) could be kept as quiet as possible in a very noisy venue. One of the most interesting visitors to the ECR was one of the Referees, who described some particularly difficult incidents to do with umpiring, interspersed with some of his personal views on the players. 

Our team leader was also the Health and Safety contractor, and he knew the event well and could probably have done the ECR job alone if everything had gone very wrong. Of the other two volunteers, one had been around badminton for many years, as an umpire and line judge when he travelled internationally, and then in many volunteer roles at this event and others. Some of his anecdotes were well worth listening to. The other volunteer was a medical student who has had to have a break from her studies, and previously was a promising player in the English national juniors before a knee injury took her out of competition. She knew quite a few of the current squad and also had juicy stories to tell.

But all the visitors to the ECR have been universally lovely, whether employed by Badminton England or a contractor or a volunteer. I had learned enough about the job by day 4 to be left on my own at a quiet time while the team leader was at a meeting; luckily I had nothing to deal with beyond a hotel key card being found in one of the practice areas. I was also treated very kindly by the head of Hospitality (quite a senior personage) when it turned out that the pair of free tickets I had been given in return for my volunteering were in a position where the view of play was completely obscured. For my own part I could have found somewhere else, but I had two different friends from my two badminton clubs using the tickets and I thought they deserved a better experience - the head of Hospitality agreed and went to some lengths to find better seats for me.

It was a very time-consuming job, and lots of my jobs at home were neglected for a week, but I enjoyed it immensely and would definitely do it again next year (if they'll have me).

More volunteering

Adhisthana, March 2024

I know you are due a blog, but I've been busy. I have experienced several sorts of busy since leaving formal employment, and I think I have mostly found the right balance. With too much to do I become tetchy and uncooperative, and with too little to do I become lethargic and antisocial. At the moment, I have about the right amount of busy-ness, but also I have temporarily found the right mental attitude to try and avoid the tetchiness and lethargy. I hope it lasts.

I did some more volunteering at Adhisthana, the retreat centre, where I happened to catch some snow - the only snow of my winter this year. I do like snow. Anyway, they wanted help in the kitchen for a large event over a weekend, and part of my my role is to focus on the restricted diets. Most people are allergic to or intolerant of just one thing - gluten or wheat, soy or nuts - but a few have a whole list. This weekend had been planned without any gluten or wheat, and the main things I had to think about were alliums and tomatoes, but two people had a whole string of intolerances to so many ordinary foods, like cauliflower, mushroom and courgette. They got a lot of carrot, sweet potato and squash and probably went home tinged with orange. And somehow I managed to get something wrong every time and had to scrape something off a plate and apologise, or ask someone to pick out the seeds please.

Despite this, the team there are very welcoming and have taken me up on my offer of volunteering for three days a week during April, May and June while someone in the office is away getting ordained. I stayed on to shadow her for a day and learn a bit about what she does for publicity and marketing. It's not as comfortable as kitchen work but I'll do my best, and what's the worst that could happen? At least it's not anaphylaxis.

Because my study group has moved to Wednesdays online, I've been able to go back to Monday badminton, and the folks there are lovely despite me generally being the only female. Because of the Adhisthana volunteering I'll be taking a break from the Thursday badminton, so it's nice to have Mondays back.

We had a Lola day when Lola II invited me and Sister D to a secret event, which is still secret because once we'd settled on a date we could all meet there weren't any tickets left for whatever it was. So we met in Clapham and watched a film instead, about the gardens owned by impressionist painters, like Monet's lily pond. It was nice but a bit long, and I think all three of us had a small nap at some point. Lunch was at a Georgian restaurant (Asian not American Georgia) where the cheese-stuffed bread was a huge hit.

With mum and dad all is as well as can be. The work extending and renovating the downstairs bathroom is finished and it all looks good; mum has got me to list various items on Freecycle and I'm happy to oblige as long as it's only one at a time. We've also met the manager of a new care agency, so we're hoping they'll be able to replace the lunchtime carer who has moved away.

After my regular U3A Friday walk I drove on up for a weekend in Nottingham with friends, where we walked the dog and set the world to rights and had a generally laid back and relaxing time. This week is set to be much more exciting, because my next volunteering opportunity is taking place - I'll be at the Yonex international badminton tournament in Birmingham. I have no idea yet what my role in the Event Control Room entails, but I shall find out soon enough, and hope that it isn't too stressful.

Two years

24 February 2024, Lillington church

Saturday marked the two year anniversary of the invasion of Ukraine, and a service was held in a local church. The tone was broadly Christian, and a few people contributed their thoughts, poems, songs and dance. UJ was one of the people who spoke for a few minutes about her experience, and read a poem. I'm glad that I went but it wasn't all that pleasant, partly because the row in front of me contained about six children who didn't stop fidgeting and talking the whole time. Also, there was a bit too much about God, who clearly doesn't have much interest in Ukraine, nor other parts of the world for that matter. Or perhaps, like Brexit, without God's involvement it would be worse.

The local woman who has been organising in Warwick District on behalf of the Ukrainian population from the start - helping them learn English, find schools for their children, apply for housing and lots more - is still working hard in that capacity. Most refugees have now left their hosts to live independently; UJ is the exception in that respect, but I'm happy to have her and I think she's also content to stay. The local organiser had a hand in arranging the service, and invited ITV to come and film. After the main service the cameraman arranged a repeat of a couple of the performances: a man accompanying his daughters on his guitar, a child reciting a poem and another child singing and dancing. He also interviewed UJ and another woman, and some of all this was broadcast on ITV news in the evening.

From this event, and from a subsequent Buddhist meeting, it is clear that UJ is sparing me much of the trauma that she is experiencing - being separated from her family and friends, some of whom have been conscripted into the Ukrainian army, and no doubt others who are wounded or have even been killed. She is, understandably, angry and filled with hate. I am glad that despite this she seems to manage to enjoy life in the UK. For example, last Sunday when her train was cancelled so she couldn't join other Ukrainians for a hike, she went to the British Museum. This weekend I am away, but my neighbour has invited her to join her for a few things.

There seems no end in sight to this or to other conflicts and wars, and the human suffering inflicted is more than I can contemplate. So I don't contemplate it, not until it is brought to my attention in this personal way. I can do no more than try to embody love and compassion, because immersing myself in the reality of war and politics will help nobody and will destroy me.

So far in February

Adhisthana, May 2023

Lots of stuff since I last wrote, but none of it worthy of more meaningful consideration than a series of bullet points (except perhaps the last, but that's all it's getting).

• I visited my regular dental hygienist on her last day of work at the practice, and was happy to show her the good results of all the treatment I've been having. She was genuinely delighted and offered me a hug. I've never been hugged at the dentist before, so that's a first.
• A call to renew acquaintance with Mr MXF and a new job that involves testing some training materials he's developed. I broke the system within seven minutes simply by uploading a picture of a cake, and he thanked me for finding a weakness he'd never have thought of.
• Film recommendation: All Of Us Strangers, which I went to with UJ. She can cope well when there are subtitles but not so much in the cinema or with accents, so she missed one of the key plot points. I loved this film even more than Poor Things which I also saw with her and which was more of a spectacle and less nuanced. She preferred Poor Things, maybe because it was easier to understand despite being Mad.
• Buddhism: a morning at the Birmingham Centre as well as the usual Tuesday evenings, where we welcomed a visitor from Adhisthana (aka Triratna HQ, the retreat centre where I have been volunteering) and I realised how much I miss having an Order Member here so I can ask those tricky questions. I'm delighted that he'll be coming for two more weeks.
• The music group has started again with a few good arrangements as well as a couple of tedious pop songs. Each month I sigh at having committed to this before setting off anyway, and return with a spring in my step having thoroughly enjoyed myself and wondering how I might fit in some more clarinet and sax playing, and conclude that I'd definitely have to give up something else.
• Shrove Tuesday pancake mask competition - last year was my first attempt at this, but this year the theme was a more difficult one. I managed to put in an entry though. Judging is on 2nd March.
• U3A walking group - I'm enjoying this a great deal, despite Friday's walk being a lot more muddy than expected which made the going a bit tough. The leader slipped over and cut his hand quite badly on barbed wire, another person complained a little too often about the mud, and I accidentally opened a conversation about Brexit that perhaps wasn't appropriate, but we all survived. The U3A board games group is good too.
• Badminton - a match on Thursday left me a bit achy and tired before the difficult walk on Friday. I always end up trying harder and stretching more for a match compared with a club night, and I'm definitely not as young as I was. A couple of times I've left before the club night has ended, which my younger self would have found inconceivable. Still, I'll carry on playing until I can't play any more because walking is good exercise but nowhere near as much fun as swatting a shuttlecock in a big room.
• Visiting parents - the downstairs shower room conversion is going well and looks very nice, although the basin has accidentally been installed about 10cm higher than it should have. What with everyone in the family being short and  in some cases getting shorter this needs to be remedied. Mum and I picked out a new bathroom cabinet, and I put a couple of things no longer needed onto Freecycle.
• The tenth Random Chairs in a Darkened Room Film Festival hosted by Mr M and Lola II took place at the weekend, with six of the eight films being chosen by myself and another friend. Best film (in my opinion): Calvary (2014). It was the usual splendid event with many visitors, lots of food, ice creams and popcorn, wonderful trailers and shorts before the main screening, and I was given a shiny badge to wear designating my status as Guest Curator.

What I've been reading

Seeing Voices
by Oliver Sacks

"This book begins with the history of deaf people in the 18th century, the often outrageous ways in which they have been treated in the past, and their continuing struggle for acceptance in a hearing world. And it examines the visual language of the deaf - Sign - which has only recently been recognized fully as a language linguistically complete, rich, and as expressive as any spoken language."

Not as much fun as I hoped - his books on his neurological patients and their conditions are much more accessible than this and, dare I say it, more entertaining. This is academic with the entertaining stuff only in the footnotes. It does make me want to learn more about Sign language though.

Politics on the Edge
by Rory Stewart

narrated by the Author

"Over the course of a decade from 2010, Rory Stewart went from being a political outsider to standing for prime minister, before being sacked from a Conservative Party that he had come to barely recognise. Stewart emerged battered but with a profound affection for his constituency of Penrith and the Border, and a deep direct insight into the era of populism and global conflict."

I chose this because I've become a keen follower of the podcast where Rory Stewart (ex-Conservative) and Alastair Campbell (ex-Labour) have the kind of conversations about current affairs that I wish were the norm throughout politics. In the final section of the book he describes his part in the debate preceding Boris Johnson becoming Prime Minister. I wouldn't have watched that debate, and his description horrifies me. The contemptible behaviour of politicians continues as they declare, unchallenged, that black is white just because they say so, and integrity and intelligence go unrewarded while corruption and incompetence are honoured with a place in the House of Lords. I despair.

The Reader
by Bernhard Schlink

translated by Carol Brown Janeway

"For 15-year-old Michael Berg, a chance meeting with an older woman leads to far more than he ever imagined. The woman in question is Hanna, and before long they embark on a passionate, clandestine love affair which leaves Michael both euphoric and confused."

A short book, easy to read, which was made into a memorable film. I had forgotten the twist that comes half way through, and thought it was pretty good and written in a very understated and real way that made it seem true despite being fictional.

The Code Book
by Simon Singh

"From Mary, Queen of Scots, trapped by her own code, to the Navajo Code Talkers who helped the Allies win World War II, to the incredible (and incredibly simple) logistical breakthrough that made Internet commerce secure, The Code Book tells the story of the most powerful intellectual weapon ever known: secrecy."

Another book I had read before that didn't disappoint. Interesting to be reminded of the state of play twenty years ago, and the predictions for Internet traffic, e-commerce and online activity that have become reality.

Remembering Babylon
by David Malouf

narrated by Paul English

"In the mid-1840s a thirteen-year-old British cabin boy, Gemmy Fairley, is cast ashore in the far north of Australia and taken in by aborigines. Sixteen years later he moves back into the world of Europeans, among hopeful yet terrified settlers who are staking out their small patch of home in an alien place."

I'm not really sure what the point of this book is. The story seemed quite flat, I didn't understand any of the nuance (if there was any), and maybe it was because of the audio format? So there was no satisfaction in reading, no understanding, no comedy or tragedy, nor any emotion at all. Strange, because the description above holds so much promise, but none is realised.

Skiing and skydiving

Les Arcs 2000, January 2024

I'm still a bit childishly overexcited with all that's gone on since the last blog post, but let's start at the beginning. The first thing was a weekend Buddhist retreat for people who are part of small groups like ours. I always come away with new ideas and enthusiasm and this time was no exception, with the added complication that I'm pretty sure the decaffeinated tea was mislabelled. So: extra energy during the retreat, and a stonking caffeine withdrawal migraine on Tuesday.

I've been to see the parents two or three times, and the shower conversion has been started by very pleasant workmen. Mum had a nasty experience with pain followed by a trip to A&E - she rates paramedics very highly, A&E doctors not so much. But when I saw her this week she was dosed up and pain-free. We have the usual long list of jobs to be done - liaison with neighbours over garden fences, reliable carers to be found, a wound that needs to be reviewed by the GP... I was impressed by her stamina given that I can only be there for a few hours and we work pretty hard.

Then there was a week skiing in France with JW and JD and their son and his friends and our friends - we were a group of 9 altogether, and split up during the day mostly according to skiing ability and during the evening mostly according to age. We travelled by train - Eurostar and TGV - and funicular and bus, and the weather was sunny and dry except for one afternoon. The resort could do with a bit of fresh snow, but on the whole it was wonderful. I used my new hat with attached crocheted beard (thank you Lola II) and got no reaction from anyone. Perhaps it looked a bit too realistic.

On the day we came back there were UK rail strikes, so those trying to get back to Cambridge had a bit of trouble - two managed to find a train and a bus replacement service, two decided to stay in London for an extra night. Luckily I only had to go back to Lola II and Mr M's house, because the next day we had arranged to do Indoor Skydiving as part of Lola II's Belated Birthday Events, postponed from her actual birthday in 2020 due to Circumstances.

Indoor Skydiving is done in a large tube with a huge fan at the bottom blowing air upwards. We watched a very entertaining training video and signed a waiver beforehand, but any shoulder injury is enough to rule you out, so sadly Mr M with his frozen shoulder couldn't take part. Luckily he agreed to take pictures and video, so we have a wonderful record of what happened. There were six of us, and we were kitted out with helmet, goggles, flying suit and (optional) earplugs. Our instructor Ellie checked that we knew all the hand signals for straightening and bending our legs, keeping our chin up, and relaxing. Then we filed into the tube.

It was one of the most exciting and wonderful things I've ever done. Up to that point the closest thing to flying that I've done has been skiing, and we know that I have always wanted to fly - like a bird, not in a plane. Each of our two 'flights' were only one minute long, and some people had a bit of trouble getting their balance and needed a lot of support from the instructor, but watching the video back both Lola II and I were among the best. We both took the option of being taken up higher in the tube for the second flight, which seemingly had to be done by a different instructor.

As I'm writing this it's two days later and I'm still grinning from ear to ear whenever I think about it, and I've watched the video many times. Our nephew and his wife even signed up on the spot for a future flight, but I've had a look and there isn't a convenient option that's local to me. If Mr M's shoulder recovers and he wants to try it, Lola II and I will definitely join him, especially as they are very good at finding discounts to make it more affordable. 

Music and words

Madeira Botanical Garden, Funchal, November 2022

I've been grappling with decisions about playing music and podcasts and audiobooks. I listen to a lot of these, pretty much all the time, and the ways I've done it have changed with the times. If this doesn't interest you (and why should it?) I suggest you skip this post. It will be very boring.

Once upon a time I just had a HiFi system that played terrestrial radio stations, vinyl records, CDs and cassette tapes, and I borrowed books on tape. There was a radio in the kitchen, and a radio, CD player and cassette player in the car. All lovely and analogue (or what I'll call 'old-fashioned' digital in the case of CDs).

Next came iTunes and the iPod, which moved music onto the computer and made it more portable. I acquired a cassette-shaped gadget that let me play the iPod through the car radio, and a base station with a speaker in the kitchen. I loaded all my music CDs into iTunes, and Audible let me put my audiobooks on there too, so I could listen to music and books in the car, in the kitchen and on headphones. using just the iPod.

Things changed in the living room with the advent of universal WiFi. I fell heavily for Spotify and Google Chromecast, which fed WiFi into the back of the old amp in the living room so I could stream music as well as play the old records and CDs (the cassette player having long since given up the ghost). And the new networked television with sound bar has a Spotify app built in.

Then the amp started to fail - it was 40 years old, so I can't blame it. I replaced it with a super wireless-enabled amp that connects and coordinates new speakers in the kitchen and upstairs as well as the old speakers in the living room. I can still play CDs but the turntable and tuner aren't connected any more. At some point I'd really like to digitise a few special albums that aren't available elsewhere, but I am starting to accept the fact that it may never happen.

Things continue to change. Audible stopped being available for Windows so I couldn't load books onto my iPod any more. Then the ancient iPod started to get a little bit flaky in terms of battery life, and I had to find a new way of playing music and podcasts and books in the house and on the move, and I was forced to consider the phone replacing the iPod.

Audible has a phone app for the books, and then Spotify started to include podcasts and books as well as music within my subscription. So CDs and Spotify supply my music and podcast needs in the home, except for a couple of BBC podcasts that have to go through BBC Sounds. 

I was on an incredibly cheap but very stingy data plan for the phone, so I wasn't able to use Spotify in the car. I found a free podcast player (Player FM) that auto-downloads my unplayed episodes, but as a result of joining the U3A walkers I've been drawn into updating my phone data plan so I can use a phone-based satnav. The next stage might be to ditch Player FM and simplify things to just Spotify and the Audible phone app. I might need a new phone.

It's time to sell the iPod Classic. The end of an era.

Out and about again

Madeira Botanical Garden, Funchal, November 2022

It took me about two and a half days to get through the email and WhatsApp traffic that had piled up while I was away for two weeks on retreat, and I'm still catching up on podcasts. I did three loads of washing and there's more to come, but this did include a whole load that I didn't manage to do before I went. The weekend disappeared very rapidly but at least I managed to retain some of the equanimity that a retreat brings, and if I can keep it going it will stand me in good stead for the rest of January and February, which are a bit busy.

The U3A board games and walking groups are turning out very well. I thought the board games group would meet in a Games café - there are two in Leamington - but it turns out that the group organiser has a house full of board games, which I was invited to view while his wife rolled her eyes at the foolishness of it all. Attendance is low at the moment, but maybe because of Christmas and cold weather and the advanced age of the group members. The walking group has been good too, with circular walks ending at a pub for lunch and interesting people to walk with and get to know. I'm definitely the youngster at both these groups. I'm not planning to join any more for the time being.

I was invited to spend a day in London with one of the people I go for walks with. It was strange spending time with him without the dog - for example, one of us didn't have to wait at the table while the other went to the counter to order tea. We went to an exhibition at the British Museum and then another at the Royal Academy, and both were interesting. The BM exhibition was about Myanmar/Burma, and one of the first things I learned was why there are two names - 'Myanmar' relates to one of the kingdoms that was drawn together to make what the British colonisers called 'Burma'. The RA exhibition was of drawings done by impressionists (Degas to Toulouse-Lautrec), of which my favourite was a simple watercolour of flowerpots by Paul Cézanne.

Then I went to York for the weekend to visit my Buddhist friend who moved from Birmingham, and to deliver a camp bed and curtains for her flat, which also meant I was more comfortable at night. York is a lovely city, and there's plenty of scope for exploring in future. I returned via Manchester and H+B's place, where H had arranged someone to sit with B so we could go out to a lovely local place for soup (me) and croque (him) and ponder on the suffering in the world and our imminent deaths. And some cheerier subjects too.

Excitement lined up for the future includes my next new volunteering opportunity. I have been accepted as Event Control Room Team Member at the international badminton competition in Birmingham in March. Not a lot of effort went into my application - I just wrote that I'd been in the radio room at Warwick Folk Festival twice, which suggests that perhaps they are short of volunteers for the role.

And lastly, more teeth news: the last person I saw thought my treatment might be coming to an end, but she asked the senior orthodontist who thinks there is a bit more that can be done. So they gave me 13 more retainers, so that's about four more months.

What I've been reading

The Hearing Trumpet
by Leonora Carrington

narrated by Siân Phillips

"An apocalyptic fairy tale quest about an occult old ladies' home and the spry nonagenarian who ends up there. After coming into possession of a hearing trumpet, 92-year-old Marian Leatherby discovers her son's plans to send her to a nursing home."

This was a wild ride! The first half is a bit like the Cinderella story but about a 92-year-old woman being mistreated by her younger family. The middle section is about her time in the craziest nursing home you'll ever find, and then it goes completely off the rails when she survives a global apocalypse and another woman marries a wolf. It's books like this that I was hoping for with the Classics list I've been using, but they don't often materialise.

Other Minds: The Octopus and the Evolution of Intelligent Life
by Peter Godfrey-Smith

"In captivity, octopuses have been known to identify individual human keepers, raid neighbouring tanks for food, turn off lightbulbs by spouting jets of water, plug drains, and make daring escapes. How is it that a creature with such gifts evolved through an evolutionary lineage so radically distant from our own?"

The most interesting things that I didn't know before are that the lifespan of most octopus species is only one or two years, and about the mechanism for displaying a whole spectrum of skin colours despite octopuses having little or no colour perception. Having said that, the book wasn't quite as good as I was expecting, given that octopuses are really amazing creatures and the author has studied them a lot. It has some colour pictures in the middle! but they aren't all that exciting. Given the title, perhaps I should have expected to read about the rather academic description of the evolution of the nervous system rather than all the wondrous things that octopuses have been seen to do. 

The Intrusion of Jimmy
by P. G. Wodehouse

narrated by B. J. Harrison

"Having fallen in love on a transatlantic liner, Jimmy Pitt befriends a small-time burglar and breaks into a police captain's house as a result of a bet. The cast of characters head to England and the stately Dreever Castle, overflowing with impostors, detectives, crooks, scheming lovers and conniving aunts."

This is a standalone Wodehouse story written before Jeeves and Wooster were conceived, and I would say is actually better in that it relies less on the contrived coincidences and asinine character of that series of stories. I could almost say that it is more plausible, but that would be ridiculous as it is not plausible at all, it just feels like that. I enjoyed it.

Unruly: The Ridiculous History of England's Kings and Queens
by David Mitchell

narrated by the Author

"England's monarchs, while acting as feared rulers firmly guiding their subjects' destinies, were in reality a bunch of lucky sods who were mostly as silly and weird in real life as they appear today in their portraits. Taking us right back to King Arthur (spoiler: he didn't exist), David tells the founding story of post-Roman England right up to the reign of Elizabeth I (spoiler: she dies)."

Given that David Mitchell is one of my favourite comedians, I would have been very disappointed had I not enjoyed this, with the extra bonus that he narrates it too. And it was free with my Spotify subscriptions, and I could even download it to listen in the car. And it was a right good listen too.

Les Misérables
by Victor Hugo

translated by Isabel F. Hapgood

"Set in the Parisian underworld, Les Misérables follows Jean Valjean, originally an honest peasant, who has been imprisoned for 19 years for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his sister's starving family. A hardened criminal upon his release, he eventually reforms, becoming a successful industrialist and town mayor. Despite this, he is haunted by an impulsive former crime and is pursued relentlessly by the police inspector Javert."

This is a ridiculous book, not least because it has more than 1300 pages. The story itself probably occupies less than half of these pages, and the rest includes (among other digressions) long sections describing the Battle of Waterloo, the history of a pub, (French) slang, and the Paris sewers - how and when they were built and what form they take, following which Parisian roads. But I kept ploughing through, helped by the fact that I was on retreat for the second half so had lots of unallocated time. I got it from the library, and had to renew it so many times that I ran out of online options and had to physically take it back to the library, return it and borrow it again. If you're interested then read an abridged version (and I can't imagine that I've ever recommended doing that before), or even better, take in the musical which is pretty true to the story and vastly more entertaining.

Hare House
by Sally Hinchliffe

"In the first brisk days of autumn, a woman arrives in Scotland. Moving into a cottage on the remote estate of Hare House, she begins to explore her new home – a patchwork of hills, moorland and forest. But among the tiny roads, dykes and scattered houses, something more sinister lurks: local tales of witchcraft, clay figures and young men sent mad."

I saw this in the library as I was re-borrowing Les Mis, and it's written by someone whose blog I regularly read. I really enjoyed her writing and the well-rounded characters she introduced, but something about the ending weakened it. I found myself musing on how I might have changed the plot entirely to make it hang together better.

Inconceivable Emancipation: Themes from the Vimalakirti-Nirdesa
by Sangharakshita

"Mahayana Buddhism emphasizes the ideal of the Bodhisattva, one who seeks to become Enlightened out of a compassionate desire to help all living beings. In the Vimalakirti-Nirdesa we meet the Bodhisattva Vimalakirti, a worker of wonders, a formidable debator and skilful teacher."

"Next term is going to be a bit challenging," our teacher said. Mahayana Buddhism is a bit flowery, metaphorical, paradoxical, stretching the limits of reality with one hundred thousand million worlds and a parasol big enough to encompass all of them. So I was duly warned, and picked up the textbook with some apprehension, but in fact it reminded me of a popular science book I'd read on the topic of (mathematical) infinity. I didn't quite understand the text, but was fairly certain that just beyond the scope of my imagination there was probably quite a satisfying truth. We start the class that relates to the book next week, so maybe I'll change my mind when that happens.

Impossible Things Before Breakfast
by Rebecca Front

"A collection of true stories about surprising turns of events, bizarre misunderstandings and improbable life lessons. We learn, among other things, how gazing at the stars can help you communicate with teenagers, how a mushroom can undermine an ancient ritual, and why everyone should wear a cape."

This is another book I happened to see at the library while I was looking for something else, and one of the reasons that I picked it up is because for a few weeks, Rebecca was in my class at secondary school, before she had some kind of crisis and switched to a different school. Every time I see or hear her on TV or radio I think, "She was in my class," and reflect on how well she has done, and what a nice person she seems to be, and try not to compare her career trajectory with mine. Not that I could ever have become an actor and writer, and she is rather good at both of these - her book is great, by the way, and by the way, did you know she was in my class at school? Briefly, anyway.

Retreat

Madeira, November 2022

I've been away, but there are people who literally put the phone down on callers when there's a blog post so I feel a responsibility to get started straight away.

I was on a two-week retreat that started before Christmas and ended after the New Year was well under way. This has left me slightly out of step with the populace who have endured all that the holiday period has to offer. I had to be reminded that a 'Happy New Year' wish is appropriate for messages sent within the first week of January, or sometimes even later.

There's very little I can say about the retreat except that it was in Wales and the rain was torrential. Someone even described it as 'biblical'. Apparently there was a storm, but without TV, radio, Internet or any other way of connecting with the outside world we all just endured wind and water battering the roof and windows day after day, and wondered if it would ever stop? The retreat centre stood up to the onslaught admirably and remained warm, so all survived except the one woman who tested positive for Covid on the first morning but luckily departed without infecting anyone else.

The retreat was all about the Triratna Buddhist Order, which those present (including me) have requested to join. It was all rather serious - there was meditation, talks, groups, reading material, prostration practice (don't ask), ritual, and a DVD (on the Order rather than anything more entertaining). There were women from Ireland, Finland, Germany, Netherlands, Hungary, Greece, France and Spain as well as the UK. 

I did a couple of long walks during the retreat, partly because I like walks and partly to get away from everyone for a bit. Because of the rain I discovered the particular defects in my old jacket and was soaked down to the underwear on one walk, but luckily my feet and my head stayed warm and dry. For the other walk I was lucky and it only started to rain seriously at the very end.

At the end of the retreat someone asked for a lift to Adhisthana, the retreat centre where I'd volunteered earlier in the year, and it wasn't out of my way so I offered. It was a delightful treat to be welcomed by the people I'd got to know there, and be reminded that it isn't all about deep reflection and personal transformation, it can just be chatting to someone over a chopping board.