What I've been reading

The Way We Live Now
by Anthony Trollope

narrated by Timothy West

"The story concerns Augustus Melmotte, a French swindler and scoundrel, and his daughter, to whom Felix Carbury, adored son of the authoress Lady Carbury, is induced to propose marriage for the sake of securing a fortune."

I finished listening to this on the drive to my two-week retreat, and then indulged in an orgy of book-reading during the retreat (see below). Obviously I love Trollope, but two weeks is a long time before coming up with a 'review' so I can't write anything very profound except that he writes a cracking story with believable characters and generally the good guys come out on top. Like a version of Georgette Heyer that your English teacher would approve of.

The Odyssey
by Homer

"Odysseus' reliance on his wit and wiliness for survival in his encounters with divine and natural forces, during his ten-year voyage home to Ithaca after the Trojan War, is at once a timeless human story and an individual test of moral endurance."

Having read the Iliad first with some idea that one should read a series in order, this was the better story (and no long lists of which tribe came from where with how many ships and warriors). Structured as well as any modern book, starting with Odysseus's son and wife in the present, then switching back to the past through the device of Odysseus telling the story of his journey, before the two strands meet and the Suitors get their just deserts. It was a bit bloody at the end, but it is Ancient Greece after all. I really enjoyed it.

Sangharakshita: A New Voice in the Buddhist Tradition
by Subhuti

"Sangharakshita has established a successful Buddhist movement, pioneering a living Buddhism that seems well suited to our times. Here, one of his closest disciples offers a comprehensive account of Sangharakshita's evolution as a thinker and teacher."

This one took a while to get through, but it helps to put the thinking behind the Western Buddhism movement into context with other, more ancient, traditional and monastic communities. A very useful and timely perspective for me; not recommended for the casual reader.

The Empty Mirror: Experiences in a Japanese Zen Monastery
by Janwillem van de Wetering

"This book tells of the year and a half the author spent in Japan as the disciple of a Zen master in a Buddhist monastery, illustrating the struggles every Buddhist monk has to solve his koan - the mysterious and often illogical question which every Zen master asks his disciples, and to which they are irrevocably bound."

Lent to me by a Buddhist friend, this is a short book that sheds light on what actually went on in the monastery. Zen seems to be designed for hard-core Buddhists who need to feel pain in order to make progress - any tradition that insists I sit in the lotus position is not going to get its spiritual message across to me any day soon. But this guy had a good go at it, and wrote an interesting book.

Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness
by Sharon Salzberg

"The author draws on simple Buddhist teachings, wisdom stories from various traditions, guided meditation practices, and her own experience from twenty-five years of practice and teaching to illustrate how each one of us can cultivate love, compassion, joy, and equanimity—the four 'heavenly abodes' of traditional Buddhism."

This book was recommended to me by a friend in Birmingham because of the trouble I was having with one of the key meditation practices. It's been eight years since I was introduced to the 'Metta Bhavana' meditation and despite trying all sorts of different approaches, I've never quite been able to engage with the principle of developing 'lovingkindness', which is the untranslatable concept of metta. This book together with being on retreat has led to what I think may be a breakthrough. I'll give it some time and see whether it is a lasting effect, or just seemed that way because of being on retreat.

Atlas Shrugged
by Ayn Rand

"In an alternative recent past USA, the innovators, producers and creators have mysteriously disappeared. With the economy now faltering, businesswoman Dagny Taggart is struggling to get the transcontinental railroad up and running."

A truly immense book at over 1100 pages, recommended by another Buddhist because he felt he could draw some parallels with what he has been learning about Buddhism. I read it within the two weeks of the retreat along with finishing five of the other books in this blog post, which just shows what a lot of freedom there is to spend time reading while on retreat. I didn't discern anything relating to Buddhism and there is definitely no need for the book to be that long.  The author is famous for developing an approach to politics and society that is labelled 'Objectivism', and the essence of the story is pretty good if you take it just as a story, but I had to speed-read through the bloated sections where her views are expounded at great length by one or other of her characters.

The Essence of Chán: A Practical Guide to Life and Practice according to the Teachings of Bodhidharma
by Guo Gu

"Legend has it that more than a thousand years ago an Indian Buddhist monk named Bodhidharma arrived in China. He paved the way for a unique and illuminating approach to Buddhist teachings that would later spread across the whole of East Asia in the form of Chan—later to be known as Seon in Korean, Thien in Vietnamese, and Zen in Japanese."

Another loan from another friend, mercifully short and fairly impenetrable to me. I don't think there's much point me reading books about Buddhist teaching without someone to explain it all.

Volunteering in the office

Adhisthana, April 2024

I started my volunteering at Adhisthana, the retreat centre where I'm now based in the office on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday until mid-June. I'm staying there for the two nights rather than commuting back and forth, and I've been given a bedroom in the resident women's community so I don't have to worry about moving rooms. The usual occupant is on sabbatical in Australia, but has left most of her things in the room, which is a bit odd but not a problem. The main challenge is finding my place in the hierarchy of the community - having a room there is a tacit acknowledgement that I'm now accepted as someone worthy of living there, but not completely integrated as they still have a few community events that I'm not invited to. We eat meals together, but at least for the first week I retreated to my room in the evenings to get some of my own admin and work done.

When I arrived there was a mini-emergency as the most enormous food delivery had just been deposited outside the kitchen, so I helped to put that away. Then there was a serious shortage of labour in the kitchen with 100 retreatants expected that evening, so I eased myself back into the life of the volunteer with some vegetable chopping. But then I made a good start in the office, reminding myself of what I'd been shown and what was ahead of me.

I have an adjustable standing desk! and thankfully no phone nor any expectation that I would need to answer a phone. I have access to the 'communications' email address so I had a look at that first, and all of the messages waiting just needed to be forwarded to the 'admin' person who deals with all the bookings and queries about bookings. There's an 'Out of Office' response on the comms email address saying that the usual person is away and giving alternative email options, so I don't feel too much pressure for that part of the job.

I won't write about other aspects of the role yet because there will be ten weeks ahead of me for which I will need to find some content, but some of the most interesting aspects of working in the office rather than the kitchen are glimpses behind the scenes. Although in theory there are about eight people in the 'Operations' team who do the practical work to support retreats, there are usually no more than three in the office at any one time, and most of the time I was there on my own this week (but with good access to people if I needed to ask questions). So I was on my own when the pest control man came to hand over his short report - good news on the whole.

On Friday I drove off to London to spend the weekend with Lola II and Mr M, but with one of the Adhisthana residents in the car because she was also spending the weekend in London but had missed her train! On Saturday Lola II had booked tickets for us both to go to a special exhibition about the Roman Legions at the British Museum. [When we arrived the entrance line was around the block, but with our tickets we could jump the queue.] Mr M joined us for lunch at a Burmese restaurant, and then left us again while we went to the cinema (Civil War - very good but with a lot of shooting and violence). The next day I was needed to help move furniture and all sort of other stuff in advance of carpet fitting this week - Lola II and Mr M both have shoulder problems and only have a couple of good arms between them. They rewarded me with Chinese food for lunch.

Now I have two days to catch up with everything at home, and go to my U3A board games afternoon, go to Monday badminton, take a call from the Homes for Ukraine scheme organisers to mark 18 months that UJ has been living here and check that all is well, prepare for Tuesday evening when I'm in charge of the local Buddhist group programme, and then it's off to Adhisthana again.

Back from the retreat

Tiratanaloka, March 2024

I was pretty apprehensive about the two-week retreat, because I didn't enjoy the last one (over Christmas and New Year) all that much. This time, however, it went very well. The topic was the ten precepts upon which Buddhist ethics is built - three about action, four about speech and three about the mind. The weather - well, it was Wales, but it didn't rain absolutely all of the time, and I managed a couple of long walks.

The main influence on whether I experience a good or bad retreat is the discussion group that I'm placed in. Last time there were only four of us, of whom one struggled to express herself in English (which is not her first language) and another just didn't seem to want to talk, leaving me and one other to carry the discussion, which was pretty tough. This time there were five of us, a very varied bunch, but everyone contributed in a constructive way. 

I came back from the retreat with a stinker of a migraine that put me in bed for the rest of the day. I'm convinced it was caffeine withdrawal, although during the retreat I always chose the teabags that were labelled decaff. This is the second time this has happened so in future I'll be avoiding doubt and taking my own certified decaff drinks.

When I got back it took a while to get through the accumulated messages that had piled up in all my different communication channels. I have visited mum and dad, mowed the lawn (but not trimmed the edges or done any weeding), went for a walk with a friend and his dog, went to Monday badminton, and had a lovely chat when I bumped into a previous landlord of the Pub Next Door. I also went to my monthly clarinet and saxophone group, and was reminded that the sax music is a lot more challenging this term for some reason, and I'm going to have to practise and perhaps even simplify some of it. 

UJ and I are not at home at the same time all that often when she is not working, but we started watching the new series of Taskmaster which is something we can do together. We also did a bit of coordination over our respective schedules for the next few months. UJ will be in charge of the bins and recycling for the next couple of months, because collections are on Thursdays and I will be away volunteering at Adhisthana (the retreat centre) from Wednesday to Friday for almost all of the next 10 weeks. 

I won't be in the kitchen this time, but in the office, trying my hand at marketing and publicity. The person who usually performs this role has gone to Spain for a three-month retreat, during which she will be ordained (accepted into the Triratna Buddhist Order and given a new name). Meanwhile, I will be doing my best not to make a mess of it all because I think I probably have the power to entirely destroy their website, and the access I've been given to their Facebook page and email account is quite frankly foolhardy.