What I've been reading

The English Patient
by Michael Ondaatje

narrated by Jennifer Ehle

"The nurse Hana, exhausted by death, obsessively tends to her last surviving patient. Caravaggio, the thief, tries to reimagine who he is, now that his hands are hopelessly maimed. The Indian sapper Kip searches for hidden bombs in a landscape where nothing is safe but himself. And at the centre of his labyrinth lies the English patient, nameless and hideously burned."

It wasn't bad, I suppose, but seemed to meander on without any significant story line except the mysterious identity of the English patient. And when it was revealed I didn't quite understand the significance, but I think that was because of the audiobook format - in a print book I can flick back through the pages to check on some aspect of a character or plot. I seem to remember the film was very good, though.

Beloved
by Toni Morrison

"In the troubled years following the Civil War, the spirit of a murdered child haunts the Ohio home of a former slave. This angry, destructive ghost breaks mirrors, leaves its fingerprints in cake icing, and generally makes life difficult for Sethe and her family; nevertheless, the woman finds the haunting oddly comforting for the spirit is that of her own dead baby, never named, thought of only as Beloved."

I had many library books waiting to be started but found myself needing something to read while all my books were elsewhere. So I picked this off a shelf of second-hand books, and I'm so glad I did. It isn't an easy read; the subject is slavery after all, and brutal events are told but in a way that softens the impact and allows it to be understood, bit by bit so the pain doesn't impact all at once. I know there is more that could be understood on a second reading, so unlike most of my books I'll be keeping this one in case I'm brave enough to have another go.

Two Serious Ladies
by Jane Bowles

narrated by Laurence Bouvard

"Two serious ladies, nothing is natural for them and anything is possible. For Mrs Copperfield - a trip to Panama, where she abandons her husband for love of a local prostitute. For Miss Goering - a move to a squalid little house on an island and a series of sordid encounters with strangers. Both go to pieces - and both realise this is something they've wanted to do for years."

What a very peculiar book! Apparently, contemporaneous reviews were mostly 'uncomprehending', and that doesn't entirely surprise me. I was baffled at the start, but after I time I relaxed and let it carry me along to all the weird places where these two serious ladies went, entirely separately - they spend time together only at the start and the end. They met men and women, drank, slept and fought with them, and then usually left them for the next thrill to come their way. It's quite an achievement that the narrator made it all make sense.

The Buddha of Suburbia
by Hanif Kureishi

"Dreamy teenager Karim is desperate to escape suburban South London and experience the forbidden fruits which the 1970s seem to offer. When the unlikely opportunity of a life in the theatre announces itself, Karim starts to win the sort of attention he has been craving - albeit with some rude and raucous results."

I didn't really get the sense of a story, just an account of an immigrant family living in and around London, lots of sex, not much character development. I suppose it pushed the genre forward when it was written, and it didn't bore me, but I never really wanted to know what happened next.

What a Carve Up!
by Jonathan Coe

narrated by Richard Goulding

"It is the 1980s, and the Winshaw family are getting richer and crueller by the year. But once their hapless biographer, Michael Owen, starts investigating the family's trail of greed, corruption and immoral doings, the time is growing ripe for the Winshaws to receive their comeuppance."

I started listening to this in the car and a lot of characters were introduced, so I took the decision to start again, and I'm glad I did. It's a murder mystery dressed up as a family saga, and all the characters are wildly exaggerated, but I ended up enjoying it. I listened to most of it in the evenings while I was volunteering, because I was very much left to my own devices in the evenings, and it was perfect.

Where the Crawdads Sing
by Delia Owens

narrated by Cassandra Campbell

"For years, rumors of the 'Marsh Girl' have haunted Barkley Cove, a quiet town on the North Carolina coast. So in late 1969, when handsome Chase Andrews is found dead, the locals immediately suspect Kya Clark, the so-called Marsh Girl. Sensitive and intelligent, she has survived for years alone in the marsh that she calls home, finding friends in the gulls and lessons in the sand."

Another cracking book. I'm spending much too much time sitting listening to books in the evenings when I should be doing some more pressing tasks, but with this one I just needed to know what happens next. I've even seen the film of the book, which follows the story pretty closely, so I already knew what happens next. For a change, I think the film is as good as the book and I wouldn't have bothered reading it if it were not for a strong recommendation from a friend. The narration was absolutely outstanding too.

Volunteering (part 2)

St Mary's Church, Kempley, September 2023

Still working (volunteering) at the retreat centre, and my first day off saw the end of the heatwave and pouring rain. As it happens, Former Landrover Man and Former Bee Lady live quite nearby, and I'd arranged to meet them for for a walk and a pub lunch. First they showed me the progress they had made in the garden, and I wish I'd taken a photo of the flowering beds because they were stunning, and the new pergola glistened with raindrops like strings of lights. The rain was easing off so we went ahead with the walk, but there were still heavy showers on and off. 

Along the way we dropped into a Norman church which has 'the oldest timber roof of any building in England.' There are also magnificent 12th century wall paintings, uncovered in the 19th century - such a treasure in an ordinary little church in the English countryside. We do have some wonderful heritage. And pubs. Cheese! and chocolate cake! I went home for a day and as well as getting through a lot of the boring admin that was waiting for me, I consumed my body weight in chocolate and cheesy Wotsits.

Back in the retreat centre kitchen: catering for large numbers is difficult, especially when it is all vegan and there are people with a wide range of food intolerances. Thankfully no nut allergies, but one coeliac and four gluten-free as well as 'usual' intolerances: soya, onion, garlic and peppers, and also legumes, brassicas, spinach and chilli. The people who have been here the longest have started to object to other things - cooked tomato, too much broccoli. I need to practise cooking quinoa after my attempt ended up like wallpaper paste. I don't bother with quinoa at home, but one of the cooks here made a delicious version - unfortunately it involved rinsing, steaming and roasting so I probably won't bother.

There are a couple of things I might try at home, though. Vegan parmesan made of nutritional yeast, finely ground almonds and salt was very easy. Polenta chips less easy but very good. But the day that the college-trained cook decided to do fajitas using seitan for 'meat' and other components like peppers, guacamole and refried beans took me to the brink. There were 11 non-standard plates needing alternative components and by the time it came to serving up my brain had melted.

On Sunday I was taken off kitchen duty (there were two other people who wanted to cook together) and reported for duty to the laundry room, where the housekeeper hadn't been told I was coming. She was delighted, because a) she had a huge cloth she wanted to fold up and b) there was more Spanish translation, printing and laminating to be done and she really wasn't keen. In the afternoon the work was more physically demanding, including dismantling and cleaning extractor fans and moving furniture to hoover skirting.

Another interesting thing about Sunday was this rally which went right past the end of the access road to the retreat centre. This meant that we weren't allowed in or out for most of the day (not a problem) but there was also significant loud noise several times during the day. Along with some other residents I went to have a look...

Volunteering (part 1)

Biddulph Grange, August 2022

Since I last posted I've been volunteering at a Buddhist retreat centre. I offered them dates in September, October or November and they took me up on the September ones straight away, which was a bit sooner than I expected. After a busy weekend keeping well away from the plague-ridden UJ I arrived ready for the heatwave that was forecast.

When I arrived on Monday a retreat for Order Members that had started on Friday was in a phase of silence. Those of us working and not on the retreat were asked not to chat in public places around them, so it was a very quiet time until talking started again on Thursday afternoon. Three people I know very well were here on the retreat, including VG (whose retreat I'd supported in July), so it was lovely to see him again and catch up once the silence had ended.

I met the person in charge of volunteering, who promptly gave me two days off before I had to start work, so I wandered about feeling slight twinges of guilt when rocking up for my delicious meals after having walked about aimlessly and sat in the sunshine reading all day. My room has windows facing south-east and south-west, which I would normally welcome, but during a heatwave with little breeze it was uninhabitable between 11am and 6pm. Once I started working, however, I had very little time for sitting in my room between 11am and 6pm.

I exist in a state of limbo between the people visiting to attend a retreat and the people who live here. Both these groups have evening activities, but I am left to my own devices. On Monday evening I found my way to the local group that happens to meet in the retreat centre, and on Wednesday I joined the first session of an 'outreach' course for newcomers being held in Malvern. Otherwise I've been happy to spend time on my own in the evenings, reading and listening to books and generally recovering from the ordeal of working all day - something I'm not used to any more. I've also managed to do a bit more work for Mr MXF. It reminds me a little of my time on the kibbutz in the 1980's - the heat, and the lack of responsibility for anything except turning up for work - but with much less alcohol.

When I first asked if there was any scope for volunteering here I was asked what sort of work I might do, and I suggested office admin or kitchen, gardening if that was all there was, and please no cleaning or housekeeping. They picked the kitchen, and I was offered the option of being responsible for meals for people with food intolerances or allergies. That isn't how it has turned out, because the kitchen is operating without a permanent manager at the moment, so a variety of people are covering a few days each - there have been three different people in my first week, and each has their own approach to the job.

The first volunteer cook I worked with lives in Norfolk, is self-taught, and worked without written recipes or pre-planning (or tidying up). This was a challenge for me, being new to the kitchen and large-scale catering . He didn't know what he would be cooking until he'd had a think, didn't use recipes so couldn't be sure how much needed preparation, and without any record of what ingredients he had used it was pretty difficult to make sure that nobody ate something they weren't supposed to. I spent a lot of my time just clearing up after him.

The second cook is one of the live-in community here, went to catering college, and again didn't use printed recipes. She was much easier to work with because at least she had an idea ahead of time of what needed to be done, and made some effort to accommodate allergies and intolerances at the planning stage. The third cook also lives and works here but not usually in the kitchen, and within minutes I could relax. He put everything back in its proper place - at last I know where to find ladles and strainers and oven gloves! There were printed recipes, we decided together what people with restricted diets could and couldn't have and what I would cook for them.

Meanwhile, the Order Member retreat had ended and in its place two retreats had started - one just for the weekend for fathers, and the other for South American Spanish-speaking women, which would include five of them being ordained here. The person in charge of housekeeping realised that it would be helpful if the information provided about how to clean the kitchen after meals were provided in Spanish. However, for reasons known only to herself, she only translated some of the information, so some jobs like cleaning the hob and emptying the bins weren't done. I talked to her about it, and got no commitment from her to do anything more.

This sort of situation has always challenged me. Someone has done a bad job which affects me - what should I do? Should I accept the situation and do the jobs myself? Should I take it up with her again, or the person she reports to? Working within this context gave me an opportunity to reflect, to consult other more experienced Buddhists, and the option of trying out new ways of responding. What I actually did was to re-write the cleaning information and introduce it to the cleaning team myself, with the help of Google Translate and a bilingual retreatant. A small incident, but indicative of the ways that life can be different when working in a collaborative and supportive setting.

London, Manchester and York

York Minster, August 2023

Lola II's Belated Birthday events continue, and I invited myself to a long and fancy lunch in London with her and Mr M and also Mr MXF and his daughter. The timing was good because I was due for another orthodontics appointment beforehand, but the aligners they ordered had not arrived. So I enjoyed the lunch before getting fitted with new aligners along with what they call 'buttons' but I call 'cheek gougers'. 

Small, sharp metal nubbins have been welded on to my lower back teeth in order to attach little elastic bands during the night so that vertical pressure can be applied. Immediately after the orthodontics appointment I was due to catch a train, so I arrived in Manchester knowing that I was going to need an immediate remedy (dental wax) to avoid the 'buttons' slicing their way through to the outside of my cheek. Now, a week later, things are settling down.

I enjoyed my brief time in Manchester, during which I happened to revisit some of the haunts of 30 years ago. Much has changed - there are more student flats that I could ever have imagined, the tram system is excellent, and people are just as likely to talk to a stranger as they were back then. I spent a morning at the Manchester Buddhist Centre. watched a very short part of the Pride parade, visited the Museum of Science and Industry (which was much smaller than I remember) and went to see a film as well as a comedy show.

Manchester was a stopover on the way to the main event, which was a couple of days with one of my Buddhist friends who moved from Birmingham to York earlier this year. Coincidentally I had met someone from the York Buddhist community at a recent retreat, and she was able to open the Centre so I could have a look. My friend was keen to show me the wonders of York, and we spent some quality time putting the world to rights.

I came home via Manchester again, enabling me to pay a visit to H+B and the cats. The whole journey was carried out by train, with hardly a hitch despite the train strike on the Saturday (when I wasn't travelling). I found this quite surprising - when I used to be a regular train commuter my recollection is that the majority of trains were cancelled or late on my daily journeys, probably because the ones that were on time didn't make any sort of impression.

UJ was away at the same time as me. She had flown to Spain to visit friends, but had a pretty miserable time - they weren't feeling well when she arrived, so she not only spent her whole holiday with people who weren't up for doing much but she also caught Covid and brought it home with her. We had three days together in the house before I went away again, and during that time her challenge was not to pass it on to me, and mine was not to catch it.

I found a spare kettle and toaster for her room, and made two meals a day for her, and she didn't mind her incarceration too much because she was feeling rough and sleeping a lot of the time. But we made it; my Covid test was negative before I left for my latest adventure - a month of volunteering at Adhisthana, a Buddhist retreat centre, of which no doubt I will write more later.

What I've been reading

The Guns of Navarone
by Alistair MacLean

narrated by Jonathan Oliver

"Twelve hundred British soldiers isolated on the small island of Kheros off the Turkish coast, lives that could be saved if only the guns could be silenced. To Captain Keith Mallory, skllled saboteur and mountaineer, fell the task of leading the small party detailed to scale the vast, impossible precipice of Navarone and to blow up the guns. "

A cracking story written well, and clearly destined for the movie it became with the dour Brit, drawling American and thoughtful New Zealander.

The Sound of One Hand
by Satyadasa

"For Satyadasa the Buddhist path has been fulfilling and often joyous, but also full of doubts and obstacles. What does it mean to be a Buddhist in the West in the twenty-first century? And is being born with one hand a curse – or a blessing?"

At last, the memoir of a Buddhist who can actually write, so an enjoyable and informative read. He writes about tackling the same issues as I do: about how uncomfortable change can be in a non-spiritual society, and about grappling with the personality of Sangharakshita, the founder of the Triratna community, whom he met a few times. So the right book at the right time for me.

An Accidental Man
by Iris Murdoch

"Austin is one of those people who needs to survive through the destruction of others. The others, in Austin's case, include his successful elder brother, Matthew, and the women who, one after the other, are so touchingly convinced that they can 'save' him."

For someone feted as a great author, I don't much like Iris Murdoch's books. I imagine she was probably writing about people and types that she was familiar with, but I have never met anyone like any of the people in this book, and there are loads of people in this book, all of whom seem to be related or know each other, but who behave in inexplicable ways. And there are deaths, many deaths - one child is run over by a car driven by one of the characters who may or may not have killed his first wife, then he almost kills the stepfather of the child whom he killed by running her over, and his second wife electrocutes herself in a bath, and then another child dies when she falls off some scaffolding, which is mentioned at the end just incidentally, and at least two people try to kill themselves by overdose... I just don't recognise any of them. I don't think I'll bother with Iris any more.

Madame Bovary
by Gustave Flaubert

narrated by Juliet Stevenson

"A deeply felt and sympathetic portrait of a woman who, having married a country doctor and found herself unhappy with a rural, genteel existence, longs for love and excitement. However, her aspirations and her desires to escape only bring her further disappointment and eventually lead to unexpected, painful consequences. "

Another classic that I think most people would have heard of. A bored wife has two major adulterous love affairs and ends up owing a load of money to support her profligate habits, and her husband continues to have no idea. Verdict: annoying.

East West Street
by Philippe Sands

"When he receives an invitation to deliver a lecture in the Ukrainian city of Lviv, international lawyer Philippe Sands begins a journey on the trail of his family's secret history. In doing so, he uncovers an astonishing series of coincidences that lead him halfway across the world, to the origins of international law at the Nuremberg trial."

This was good, but more of a history book than an easy read. There are a few coincidences about the origins of the people described thereafter, and it is a reminder (if one were needed) about the horrors of the holocaust and the fate of most families. Also, interesting to find out more about the origins of the terms 'genocide' and 'crimes against humanity'. As well as being well written it's well edited too, which it needs to be given the number of names and dates to remember.

Kentwell House

Kentwell Hall, August 2023

Lola II's significant birthday was in 2020, and she had planned all sorts of excitement with friends. Then it all had to be cancelled, but this year she has returned to the Belated Birthday Event list with a vengeance. I've already attended a concert at the Regent Park Bandstand, watched the rowing on the lake, enjoyed an ice cream sundae Sunday, and last weekend included camping (fourth time this year for me, first time for Lola II and Mr M) and a visit to Kentwell Hall.

The Kentwell manor is recorded in the Domesday Book and dates from about 1040. The full history of the property (mostly completed in 1530) can be found on the website, but in 1971 it was bought and the new owner restored it and now facilitates the historical re-enactments that take place there. When we visited it was 1564, and there were about 200 volunteers on site dressed for that period and fully inhabiting their roles. Inside the house were the gentry, their stewards and their servants, and throughout the grounds we found all sorts of different workers. Woodcutters, glassblowers, potters, victuallers, the woolshed, dyers, felt- and hat-makers, bakers, the forge, the foundry, alchemists, embroiderers, apothecaries, cheesemakers, cobblers, the brewery, woodworkers, mummers, the alehouse and more - we arrived not long after opening time, and closing time came before we'd seen everything.

The volunteers playing all the roles stayed firmly within the 16th century with their speech and knowledge - nobody admitted to knowing what a potato was, for example, nor how a volunteer could possibly support their family. There were children as well as adults - one notable young boy gave us a brief performance as one of the mummers playing the Devil. It was fascinating and fun and educational, and I'd go back again.

Alongside this visit we camped together with another couple of Lola II's friends who joined us for the weekend, visited a country park for a walk, played games and ate far too well. We had a lovely camping spot facing out into a field of what I thought was spinach, but turned out to be sugar beet. (My reputation for plant identification was never strong but is now in tatters.) The campsite even laid on an ice cream van which arrived around 8pm and attracted many customers. This resulted in one of the highlights of the weekend - as Mr M walked away from the van with a large twin cornet 99 with three flakes, there was an audible gasp and then actual applause from the people still waiting in line.

A fine day out

August 2023

Lola II and Mr M live in London, and unlike many Londoners they make use of the city, going to see performances, galleries and many other interesting events and attractions. Recently they visited a place they thought others might also enjoy, so Lola II invited me and Sister D without telling us where we would be going. She loves surprises.

We started with lunch at a delicious Sri Lankan/South Indian establishment that provided the photo opportunity above. Then Lola II took us to the Fitzrovia Chapel, which used to be part of Middlesex Hospital. The hospital was founded in the 18th century and the chapel was built in 1891. In 2005 the hospital moved to the newly built University College Hospital, and the site was sold for housing development. Somehow the chapel survived - the photo shows just how lucky that was - and was restored between 2013 and 2015. It is peaceful and beautiful, with mosaics on floor and ceiling and 17 types of marble in the decoration. Recommended for a visit.

Fitzrovia Chapel standing alone at the centre of a flattened building site

I'd also like to include a plug for Chiltern Railways. With many train companies coming in for criticism about their reliability and facilities, I find travelling with Chiltern quite enjoyable! On the trip to London the train arrived a minute ahead of schedule and during the journey there were no unnecessary announcements (there are far too many loud and unnecessary announcements on the Virgin West Coast service to Birmingham) and everyone in my vicinity was behaving just as one would want. On the way back I sat next to a very lovely woman from New Zealand, living in Leamington and planning to move to Wales because there are more hills. Of course Chiltern aren't responsible for their customers, but it somehow reflects well on them.

I've been doing quite a bit outside in the garden, and inside working for Mr MXF. The latest job he's given me involves repeated viewing of short films (less than 10 minutes) to record various time points within them. I've done the first and am now waiting for feedback before starting on the second. And still playing badminton, and being a Buddhist, and all the other household things that keep one busy.

Working and playing

Kew Gardens, July 2022

The Warwick Folk Festival has happened, and a whole lot more. I've got a bit of time today so I hope to get it all covered before everything starts up again.

I enjoyed my volunteering at the Festival in the Radio Comms Room again, where we issue and receive all the walky-talkies and assist with communications between all the teams: traffic, gates, litter-picking and toilets, security, music venues, transport, maintenance and more. There wasn't much to do most of the time; everyone seemed to know what they were doing and not much went wrong. 

We were short-staffed in the Radio Room this year as the deputy team leader had to withdraw through illness, and the team leader has health issues and really wants to step away. They are desperate enough to suggest I might take on the team leader job, and after I'd seen a description of the (volunteer) role I thought about it and decided to decline this opportunity. I'm happy to be an ordinary team member and don't want the extra responsibility or the time it would take up.

Radio Man was there, supplying all the comms gear, and was pleasant company throughout the event. All the other team members are extremely talkative and love to relate a long story about some event in their life, or indeed their whole life story, in detail and omitting nothing, as I wrote last year. Radio Man and I would occasionally suggest that they really could do with a nap, or a beer, or a chat with some friend, and we could manage perfectly well so why didn't they take a break and leave us to it? Despite this, all the volunteers are very friendly and generous, and I enjoyed my time with them even though I completely misjudged my shifts and missed most of the music. Various other local friends were also volunteering in other roles and it was nice to catch up with a couple of them.

After a day or two to catch my breath I was off to see mum and dad, who continue to soldier on with all the appointments with the various health professionals. While I was there we went to the dental surgery to pick up a form so that a home visit can be requested, we had a finance meeting via Zoom, and we were visited in person by a District Nurse and a more senior Occupational Therapist than before, who assessed the front step for a ramp and measured up the shower room to see what adaptations might be possible for better access. She is planning to bring some equipment that might help dad to move between bed and chair. Mum and I also made some major improvements to mum's filing systems, producing a sack of paper for recycling in the process. It was a longer visit than usual and very productive.

My birthday has been and gone, so I have now entered my 60th year of life, which is a little hard to believe. Anyway, UJ wanted to treat me to a night out - she recently attended a performance by the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford and was so impressed that I think she just wanted to repeat the experience. I chose very differently. On Saturday we went for a very good guided walk in Birmingham, then to see the film 'Barbie', then off to Chinatown to eat and finally a comedy club. It was a really good day with only two disappointments - the weather (it was cold and rained constantly throughout), and my favourite Café Soya was closed for refurbishment (although a nearby substitute wasn't bad). UJ and I continue to discuss British accents and colloquialisms, most recently the use of the term of endearment 'cock' in Manchester, which is all very confusing for her.

What I've been reading

Flowers for Algernon
by Daniel Keyes

narrated by Adam Sims

"Charlie Gordon, a floor sweeper born with an unusually low IQ, has been chosen as the perfect subject for an experimental surgery that doctors hope will increase his intelligence - a procedure that has been highly successful when tested on a lab mouse named Algernon."

An unexpected gem from the Classics list, which I enjoyed even though it was a 20th century novel (I don't usually get on with modern fiction). At the start and possibly at the end I think that the printed book would have conveyed something more than the audio book through the spelling, given that it was written as a series of diary entries by the experimental subject, but the narration helped.

Nice Work
by David Lodge

"When Vic Wilcox (MD of Pringle's engineering works) meets English lecturer Dr Robyn Penrose, sparks fly as their lifestyles and ideologies collide head on. What, after all, are they supposed to learn from each other? But in time both parties make some surprising discoveries about each other's worlds - and about themselves."

A traditional sort of novel, with a story that introduces real people that I could believe existed who didn't follow some fairy tale narrative. It had a beginning, middle and end and I didn't know at any point what would happen next. In fact the author suspected when I would start guessing, and anticipated this by starting a couple of the chapters with a paragraph telling me what would happen next before it happened, which took away all the 'will they, won't they' and allowed me to just enjoy how things went. Not thrilling, not exciting, rather ordinary, but I really liked it quite a lot.

The Bodhisattva Ideal: Wisdom and Compassion in Buddhism
by Sangharakshita

"The image of the Bodhisattva, one who wishes to gain Enlightenment for the sake of all beings, lies at the heart of much of Indian, Tibetan and Chinese Buddhism. Sustained by a deep understanding gained through meditation and reflection, the Bodhisattva is able to work tirelessly for the benefit of all."

This is what we've been studying in my group on Mondays, and as for so many of the course books it's based on talks, in this case delivered in 1969 and 1984. The fact that I got through it is testament to the distance that I've covered since starting this Buddhist lark, and the help I've received from others in the study group. Philosophy and the science of the mind do not fall comfortably within the scope of my particular intellectual talents. But I've come so far that parts of the book explained things I hadn't realised I was confused about, such as the timeline of Buddhist 'sects' from Theravada to Mahayana to Vajrayana and Tantra. That knowledge isn't going to change my world, but I often compare Buddhism to a huge jigsaw where I have assembled a few clusters, and this adds a few pieces around the edges.

Riders of the Purple Sage
by Zane Grey

narrated by B. J. Harrison

"The story of Lassiter, a gunslinging avenger in black, who shows up in a remote Utah town just in time to save the young and beautiful rancher Jane Withersteen from having to marry a Mormon elder against her will."

This was an unexpected gem, read particularly well by my regular audio book narrator probably because it's set in Utah, which I think is where he lives. He's less successful when reading books set in 18th century England or France, for example, but we will insist on giving names to our aristocrats and towns that aren't pronounced as they are spelled. The Mormons don't come out well from the book but everyone else is brave and honourable and generous and it has a happy ending, so that's good.

The Wide Sargasso Sea
by Jean Rhys

"Born into an oppressive colonialist society, Creole heiress Antoinette Cosway meets a young Englishman who is drawn to her innocent sensuality and beauty. After their marriage, disturbing rumours begin to circulate, poisoning her husband against her. Caught between his demands and her own precarious sense of belonging, Antoinette is driven towards madness."

I've been looking out for this book for ages because I was aware it was written as a prequel to our beloved Jane Eyre, which I haven't read for ages and don't seem to have on my bookshelves, so I may borrow a copy from the library to remind myself how good it is (or isn't). I think that I was expecting this one to be as good as JE, but of course it wasn't. It gave me a tiny bit of insight into emancipation in the West Indies, which I admit to knowing nothing about before reading the book.

The History of my Going for Refuge
by Snagharakshita

"Sangharakshita's autobiographical account of how his radical understanding that the monastic life-style and the spiritual life are not identical deepened through his encounters with Burmese monks, Tibetan lamas, and the new Buddhists of India."

An esoteric work that interests me because of my study of the founder of the Buddhist movement that I'm involved with. As ever, it's a (barely) edited transcript of a talk that he gave in 1988 on the 20th anniversary of the movement's existence, and fleshed out a few helpful aspects of his thinking for me.

The Driver's Seat
by Muriel Spark

"Lise is thin, neither good-looking nor bad-looking. One day she walks out of her office, acquires a gaudy new outfit, adopts a girlier tone of voice, and heads to the airport to fly south. So begins an unnerving journey into the darker recesses of human nature."

A short novel describing about 2 days of this woman's life, and unnerving doesn't start to describe it. The character has crossed over into insanity, and I can't imagine why the author chose to write the story or what she meant by it. I suppose stories don't have to have a reason, and maybe what she describes is true to life, but I have no experience of this kind of madness and I couldn't relate to anybody she described.

On Beauty
by Zadie Smith

"Howard Belsey, a Rembrandt scholar who doesn't like Rembrandt, is an Englishman abroad and a long-suffering professor at Wellington, a liberal New England arts college. He has been married for thirty years to Kiki, an American woman who no longer resembles the sexy activist she once was."

I wasn't expecting to, but I liked this book quite a lot. It made me understand just a little more about race and class, and what that can mean in America and England. I was reading it during my recent retreat when one of the participants told me how she felt as a mixed race person who had been the subject of a physical racial attack when she was 16, and shed some light on the difference it can make to have a brown face. I can't really experience what that's like, but I can be aware that it's there, all the time, in her life and in the lives of many others.

Light Years
by James Salter

narrated by Mark Boyett

"The story of Nedra and Viri, whose favored life is centered around dinners, ingenious games with their children, enviable friends, and near-perfect days passed skating on a frozen river or sunning on the beach. But fine cracks that are spreading through their marriage, flaws that will eventually mar the lovely picture beyond repair."

I kept expecting something dramatic to happen, something that would elevate this story to match its 'Classic' status, but nothing ever did. I learned about the two people, their children, their friends, their lovers, their divorce and subsequent marriange and death. But there was nothing to relate to and no arc to follow; they are described but I never cared about either of them or what might happen.

Back with a bang

Rivendell, July 2023

Back from my latest retreat and it's taken a while to get around to blogging, although I managed to dry the tent before a week had gone by. Part of the reason is that I went back to Mr MXF asking for a different task - the previous one was too complex for me to fit in between all the other things I'm doing, so it took me an hour or two to remember what I was supposed to be doing and then I had to stop to do something else, and then had to go through the learning curve again. So he's now given me something much easier that's rather fun to do, and so I spent quite a bit of time doing it last week.

But back to the retreat. It was in Sussex so I made a few stops along the way: staying with Sister D, a delicious Ethiopian lunch in Shepherd's Bush with her and Lola II, and then staying with my friend from primary school who lives in Worthing. Arriving at the retreat I set up my tent and reported for the briefing about what my responsibilities were. The main jobs were at the start (welcoming people), and at the end (organising the clearing up). Two team members did all the cooking and another was the creative inspiration for the team - she used me to fetch things and hold other things while she made beautiful objects for the shrine.

There wasn't all that much for me to do in the way of organising because there weren't any complaints about sleeping arrangements or snoring, nobody had forgotten to bring anything essential, and everyone seemed to be getting on pretty well. I was just thinking that this was quite an easy job when the news came in from the team that manage the property that a local water main had burst and there would be no running water for an indeterminate period. That certainly gave me a few things to do, with their help - they supplied bottled water, hand sanitiser and wet wipes, and we organised buckets of water from the pond for flushing the two outside toilets. Within the team we decided that if it continued beyond one night we would have to send everyone home. Thankfully the water was back after 24 hours and everyone survived.

The programme for the retreat was similar to last year. On the last full day we were all given a packed lunch and sent off to spend the day outside. I had some organising to do in advance of the clearing up task, and when I finally got out I decided to do something that was not entirely within the spirit of the retreat, which was to head for the local tea room for tea and cake. It was a lovely walk, and very fine tea and cake, but my rule-bending backfired on me when the caffeine withdrawal headache appeared the next day, and I suspect the tea was not as decaffeinated as it should have been. 

My misfortune continued on the drive home with heavy rain and horrible traffic on the M25, and then there was a loud bang from the nearside front of the car while I was south of Bicester on the M40. In the pouring rain, with a headache, I determined that steering, suspension and brakes were still performing as they should but I came off the motorway to finish the journey just in case. So it took ages. My wonderful garage was still open when I arrived and diagnosed a broken coil spring (now repaired).

UJ wasn't at home when I arrived - she was back in Ukraine for her father's birthday. I thought I'd go to the Buddhist Centre the next day for their regular monthly women's morning, but the activity was too raucous for my post-retreat sensitivities so I ended up sitting quietly in a corner. Then Sunday and Monday were set aside for meeting my cousin and her son who were visiting from Seattle, first in Regent's Park and then at mum and dad's, and then UJ returned next day. Not the recommended approach to easing oneself back into everyday life after the peace and calm of a retreat.

Today I've had two lots of dental experiences. The orthodontist is going to order a whole new series of aligners to replace the ones previously supplied, presumably because my wayward teeth aren't aligning themselves as they are supposed to. Then I experienced a new hygienist who sprayed my face liberally with water while her assistant sucked my tongue and cheek into her poorly-wielded suction tube, and then gave me even more work to do when brushing my teeth. I am not impressed, but feel that I should at least give it a try.

Also not impressed, April 2023