New Year was in June

Sheafhayne Manor, June 2023 (photo credit: Lola II)

Many times, a group of my friends and their partners have gathered in some large house to celebrate the New Year. Up until now, this has always taken place in December and January, but this year we gathered in June and reaped the benefit of warmer weather and light levels that allowed walking beyond 3pm, not to mention the joy of eating dinner outside.

We returned to the house in Devon where we'd spent the last holiday at New Year (2021-22), but with fewer people: only eleven of us this time. I drove with Lola II and Mr M, stopping for lunch on the way and then doing a major supermarket shop for the group before arrival and the process of picking bedrooms - we all chose a different room from the one we'd had before.

Over the week we went on long walks and shorter walks, those who brought bikes went cycling, we cooked for one another and ate out at cafes and restaurants, visited National Trust houses and their gardens, played games and attempted a fiendish jigsaw which remained unfinished at the end of the week when it was time to go home. 

A Buddhist friend of mine who used to live in Stratford before she moved to Devon joined us for one walk. Two of our number revealed that the reason that they had to leave us for two days in the middle was because one of them was going to become Irish on Tuesday afternoon. They drove and sailed all the way back to Ireland, attended the citizenship ceremony and drove and sailed back, then cooked us a barbeque in the evening in a truly heroic fashion. So we were nine Brits, one Australian and one European when we arrived, and eight Brits, one Australian and two Europeans when we departed.

The Bursar and Lola II, Sidmouth promenade

Games played were Pitchstorm, Codenames and the Bucket Game; places visited included coastal towns Beer, Branscombe and Sidmouth; National Trust sites were Montacute House and Killerton, both of which were delightful and included interesting walks as well as interesting properties. Killerton was my favourite, due to the enthusiastic volunteers who were keen to share as much information as you were prepared to listen to, and encouraged interaction to the extent of actually being able to look at books in the library and to play their piano and organ. Luckily our party included a competent pianist (not me) who had been practising tunes for singing back at the Manor. So Killerton was treated to a rendition of Life on Mars on the organ, which was lovely.

Mr MXF was the most enthusiastic cyclist and rode off early every morning to bring back breakfast pastries. Both our Europeans and Lola II and Mr M all brought whisky and Lola II made her signature gulloeblobs consisting of stem ginger in chocolate. The weather was so good that we ate outside nearly every evening. It was a wonderful and relaxing holiday with people who are easy to get along with, and due to the Splitwise app we didn't even need to do the convoluted accounting to work out what everyone owed everyone else.

Sidmouth, June 2023 (photo credit: Lola II)

What I've been reading

The Rings of Saturn
by W. G. Sebald

"The Rings of Saturn begins as the record of a journey on foot through coastal East Anglia. From Lowestoft to Bungay, Sebald's own story becomes the conductor of evocations of people and cultures past and present: of Chateaubriand, Thomas Browne, Swinburne and Conrad, of fishing fleets, skulls and silkworms."

This book came from my classic list of fiction, but isn't fiction at all. It isn't an ordinary travelogue either, as he goes off in all sorts of directions with the narrative, prompted by some association with the place he's travelling through. I used to spend much more time on non-fiction, which has now been substituted by the Buddhist reading that I'm doing, but this has reminded me of the simple pleasure of looking at the real world through someone else's eyes, whether that is in a travel narrative like this or through writing about science.

Cod: A Biography of the Fish That Changed the World
by Mark Kurlansky

"Wars have been fought over it, revolutions have been triggered by it, national diets have been based on it, economies and livelihoods have depended on it. To the millions it has sustained, it has been a treasure more precious that gold."

This is a book off my shelves that I haven't read in a while, and is a fascinating walk through the history of cod fishing (and cooking) up to the date of publication at the end of the 1990's. I wonder how things have changed in the last 25 years, because it wasn't looking good back then.

Put Out More Flags
by Evelyn Waugh

narrated by Michael Maloney

"Upper-class scoundrel Basil Seal, mad, bad, and dangerous to know, creates havoc wherever he goes, much to the despair of the three women in his life-his sister, his mother, and his mistress. When Neville Chamberlain declares war on Germany, it seems the perfect opportunity for more action and adventure."

I hold up my hands for this one, I wasn't paying enough attention while I listened. Despite this, the bits that I absorbed were quite good in the Waugh sort of way, a precursor to Catch-22 in portraying the dishonesty and inefficiency of wartime management by self-serving officers looking out for their own interests. A more light-hearted and humorous take on similar views as the 'Ragged Trousered Philanthropists' (below), which was an altogether more downbeat narrative.

The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists
by Robert Tressell

"The story of a group of working men who are joined one day by Owen, a journeyman-prophet with a vision of a just society. Owen's spirited attacks on the greed and dishonesty of the capitalist system rouse his fellow men from their political quietism."

This was one of the most dispiriting books I've read. It's a Socialist polemic in the form of a novel that describes the poverty and destitution of the working classes before the establishment of the welfare state and the NHS, and made me feel even worse than when I read Orwell's 'The Road to Wigan Pier'. The employers and idle rich are portrayed as crooks (with the exception of just two men), and the majority of the workers aren't prepared to see that there is any alternative to their fate. Women don't feature other than as wives reliant on their husbands without any other influence. It certainly makes a strong case for socialism, but spoils it somewhat by describing an unrealistic socialist utopia where all have their choice of occupation and are paid equally. I'm glad I finished it, but it was a worthy rather than enjoyable read.

Good Behaviour
by Molly Keane

"Behind the gates of Temple Alice the aristocratic Anglo-Irish St Charles family sinks into a state of decaying grace. To Aroon St Charles, large and unlovely daughter of the house, the fierce forces of sex, money, jealousy and love seem locked out by the ritual patterns of good behaviour."

An interesting book set in Ireland in what feels like the 19th century, I wouldn't say it's gripping but good enough to keep me reading. I don't think she really gave a good account of each character - we were almost kept at a distance from them, and her portrayal of the aftermath of a death was strange. She did use some lovely adjectives, though.

The Dodgy Chicken Sandwich

Vajraloka, May 2022

Two friends and a dog visited at the weekend, for the main purpose of attending a Blues gig (Nine Below Zero) at my favourite venue in Leamington (yes, Temperance again). There had been heatwave, thunderstorm, heatwave, thunderstorm in the days leading up to their visit so the weather wasn't anything to rely on, but it was beautifully warm if you weren't moving (a bit hot and sticky if you were). They arrived mid-afternoon, we had a lovely chat, a walk and an ice cream, more chat, out to Kayal for dinner (the second time in a week for me after going there with the Buddhists on Tuesday as well), then on to the gig.

It had been advertised as 7 to 11pm and I had estimated that they'd actually start playing at about 8, but no, when we arrived it was nearly the end of the first half. I forget that most of the audience at Temperance is as old as us and wants to be home for Midlands Today. It was good music though, well worth the trip.

Arriving back home, one of my friends started to feel odd, then worse, then sat outside with a bowl, then sat inside with 'trouble at both ends'. Poor man, bad enough to be that ill, but in someone else's house too. We pondered what it could be, since we'd all three had exactly the same food and drink except he'd had a coffee and a cake at Temperance. Next day he was feeling a lot better, and we discovered that he'd had a petrol station chicken sandwich on the way to my place that was a little crusty around the edges.

The Buddhists had scheduled a walk for Sunday afternoon, but fate had scheduled a classic car show in the Pump Room Gardens, plus my recovering visitor wasn't really feeling up to walking too much in the heat. So car show it was, then another ice cream (easy on the stomach...) before my healthy visitor left. The invalid dozed to catch up after the difficult night that he'd had and to spare the dog from the heat of the afternoon in the back of the car, before setting off to an extended journey home with delays for two accidents on the M1. Poor chap.

An ordinary week

Aquilegia in back garden, May 2022

Lots going on as usual, but with gorgeous weather that takes my mind off the fact that Lola II and Mr M have been unavailable to share the joys and the horrors of my life due to being on holiday abroad. Mr M is back now but Lola II continues to taunt us with accounts of her adventures.

Meanwhile, I was visiting mum and dad when a paramedic sent by the GP surgery came to assess dad, who has been atypically active in writing at the computer for a few weeks. All is as well as can be expected. There's been the usual badminton - twice this week because my Monday study group didn't meet. Our concert took place and went quite well, we came third in the pub quiz, I've been to the tip with all the garden prunings and lawn trimmings, and had a meal out with the Buddhists as well as various Zoom meetings for team business. There really isn't much more to say, so here's an extra picture to be getting on with.

Kew Gardens, October 2022

Jurassic Coast weekend

Jurassic Coast, May 2023 (photo credit: UJ)

It was a sunny half term Bank Holiday at the end of June, so the whole world was going to be heading for the coast. But UJ asked ages ago if I would join her for a weekend on the Jurassic Coast, and I'd said yes, and this was the weekend that was available so we joined the whole world and headed south rather slowly.

But that was Saturday. The director/conductor of my music group had sent round a notice that he and the Jukebox Rhythm Orchestra would be playing on Friday night in central Coventry, and it looked like it would be quite fun, and UJ was up for it, so off we went. It was indeed quite fun, and right next to Coventry Cathedral. The site of the bombed-out Cathedral is open freely to the public, so we even had a look round there, although it was after the concert so quite dark.

The Saturday morning journey took four hours, but we arrived in time for lunch at a pub overlooking Corfe Castle that Lola II and I had visited in 2008. Then we visited Corfe Castle itself, which was better than I expected. After the obligatory ice cream we continued on to the Airbnb we'd booked, which consisted of an 'EcoPod' for each of us which looked great on the listing. They turned out to be attached to a pub garden and stiflingly hot in the sunshine. Also in the pub garden was a marquee with a live reggae band just getting started, at a volume loud enough to make the floor vibrate.

So we decided that we would walk to Wantage, about half an hour away, and as we walked up the high street we heard some live music coming from a pub. Folk rather than reggae, delightful, and at a much more suitable volume. When we got back to the EcoPods, thankfully the reggae had finished. I tried to contact the Airbnb host but she wasn't available, and my negative review of the venue is unlikely to be published.

Sunday's breakfast was in a lovely garden centre on the way to Lulworth Cove, where we had planned a walk to Durdle Door. The sun was still shining, it was still a half term Bank Holiday weekend, and there were crowds of people with the same idea. Luckily there was still room in the overflow car park, and it was difficult to complain about the weather... UJ loves to swim and I sat meditating in the shade, tuning out the noise of the crowds, and had quite a relaxing time. After more ice cream we climbed to Stair Hole, then down to the Cove for another swim/rest.

We got lucky with dinner that evening. There was an unprepossessing Indian/Nepali restaurant very near to our accommodation, very convenient, so we thought we'd give it a try, and it was one of the best meals I've had for a long time. Recommended.

Monday half term Bank Holiday was still sunny, so off we went to Durlston Country Park for breakfast and a walk. It wasn't all that busy there, and a helpful volunteer told us a lot about the bird and plant life and a bit about the history of the place. Heading back home the recommended route took us via the chain ferry to Studland and Bournemouth, which wasn't the ideal choice in terms of waiting time, although it was very scenic. Another four-hour journey home.

Despite my reservations, and despite the crowds and the traffic, it was a fine weekend.

Spring in the air

Adhisthana, May 2023

Back from my retreat now, which was the usual mix of bliss and hard reality. I learned quite a bit about the subjects under discussion, but learned more about myself and my creative potential. Intrigued? Just give me a call. And back home I led my local group in our regular evening meeting, which went well but confirmed my preference for running social events rather than 'teaching'.

Meanwhile there have been fun and games at the parents' house with a mysterious glitch that keeps tripping the electricity fuse for the kitchen/garage circuit. Various options are under investigation, so far without a conclusion.

Badminton news - our AGM went without a hitch and I managed to escape without accepting any responsibilities. Our post-pandemic change of management has been excellent, with a new website and much improved communication at no extra cost.

It is time to admit that with the help of a counsellor/therapist, I have for some time been addressing some of my deep-seated insecurities. This has resulted in immense progress towards restoring my confidence in human relationships, to the extent that I managed to create an online dating profile, then actually communicated with others via the dating app, and even went as far as to meet someone in person. I was very apprehensive about this, with all sorts of fearful scenarios presenting themselves, but in the end none of my concerns were justified because he turned out to be such an inappropriate date that it was quite easy to go on a lovely walk and then call it a day. I'm not actually all that interested in starting a relationship (I don't have enough time!) but this has been a big step forward for me.

Before the retreat I managed to visit Former Landrover Man and Former Bee Lady at their country residence, made all the more beautiful by their presence, their hard work on the garden, and the glorious weather. Sunshine persisted through the retreat and into this week, and I have welcomed back Irvin (who made a brief appearance back in February). He's much more well-behaved now, and a delightful character.

Irvin, May 2023

What I've been reading

Play Power
by Richard Neville

"The politics of play. The strategy which converts the Underground to a brotherhood of clowns; the lifestyle which unites a generation in love and laughter. In Chicago, its Pigasus the pig for President and Abbie Hoffman throwing kisses to a bewildered jury."

I bought this in the early 1980's without the faintest idea about who the author was - the editor of the counter-cultural magazine Oz who was prosecuted for obscenity (twice). On revisiting the book after 40 years it's fascinating but obviously very dated. I finished it just before the visit of the friend that I wanted to give it to.

The Diary of a Nobody
by George and Weedon Grossmith

"The details of English suburban life are presented through the anxious and accident-prone character of Charles Pooter. His diary chronicles his daily routine, which includes small parties, minor embarrassments, home improvements, and his relationship with a troublesome son."

Lovely little book deserving of its success, with funny little endnotes explaining, presumably to a non-English reader, all sorts of words, names and phrases, like chimney-glass (a mirror over the mantelpiece) and a dandy horse (an early form of bicycle).

A Lost Lady
by Willa Cather

narrated by Kitty Hendrix

"The story of Captain Daniel Forrester and his wife Marian, who live in the western town of Sweet Water, along the Transcontinental Railroad in the 1920s. Neil Herbert, a boy who grows up in Sweet Water, admires the Captain and his beautiful, vivacious wife, who have the genteel lifestyle of small-town aristocrats and entertain powerful men."

It was pleasant enough, but not as good as the previous book I read by the same author (My Ántonia); there just wasn't quite enough story.

Not in gainful employment

Vajraloka, May 2022

Time rushes past as though it's got somewhere to go, and it's already May. No momentous announcements, but a succession of interesting activities:

• My 50th blood donation. I got a special thank-you email, and apparently will also get a certificate and a gold donor card through the post. It's probably more than 50, actually, because I've got a few of the blue cardboard wallets with a certificate or two that they used in the Olden Days and maybe didn't make it into the System. Donation has changed quite a lot since then - we are expected to drink a whole lot more water or squash before and after donating, we are encouraged to use our lower body muscles during the process (moving legs and feet, tensing and releasing buttocks), the chairs are reclined for donation and then raised again afterwards, timers are used for everything (how long to disinfect the elbow, how long to wait afterwards before raising the seat), the consent form is much more sensible, we don't get any hot drinks at the end any more, but there are much better snack options.
• Teeth report: the dental hygienist says the state of my gums continues to deteriorate slowly, but at least it's from a much improved level after the horrific surgery. I'm on the 15th set of aligners out of 37 with noticeably straighter teeth, more even interdental space and a much improved bite. So that's good; let's hope it results in no further loss of teeth.
• Music group continues; as usual I'm missing a couple of rehearsals but have forgone a weekend retreat in order to be available for the concert.
• A Buddhist Consultant came to talk to the team supporting our local group, in order to suggest ways to move forward based on what everyone's stated position is. He stayed with me for two days and nights and although he did all the consultancy work I was exhausted by the end of it. Apart from all the visitors we had a big supper, and it was all very nice and now we have to wait for the report. He gave me a couple of ideas of what might be in it and it sounds very promising.
• Lots more contact with Buddhists, including going for a walk, Monday evening study group, Tuesday evening meeting, and a special this week - I got to attend an ordination. These usually take place during a three-month retreat, often in Spain, but this one was in the Birmingham Centre. If I'm honest, it was a bit long and I didn't find it as moving as I'd expected to, but it was at the end of a long day and I was tired. Tomorrow I'm going to the celebration of Buddha Day at the Centre.
• I went to a classical music concert at the local big church with a symphony orchestra playing Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninov and a saxophone concerto, so all very dramatic with lots of sweeping strings. It's been a long time since I listened to live classic music and it was great.
• During all the Buddhist consultancy and long Mayday weekend UJ was absent, firstly on a trip to her workplace in London and then on a trip to Scotland to visit Edinburgh. She also went on a coach tour to see Loch Ness and a few other sites and had a pretty good time, although she hadn't realised how big Scotland is and how much driving there would be.
• Dad had his 90th birthday, and Sister D, Lola II and I were there to celebrate along with him and mum. I cooked a milk-free sugar-free allium-free meat-and-fish-free chilli; Sister D and Lola II brought more personal presents for him. When we told him we had come for his birthday he asked us what year it was, and confirmed that yes, he was going to be 90.

Them's the highlights, and have you noticed that there's very little going on with Mr MXF? When I see there's a gap in my diary I plan to do something for him but then I end up filling the gap with something else. I think I may have to admit to myself and to him that I should be sacked.

Salford, Manchester and Altrincham

Self-portrait, 2023 and 1970

Lola II and I like to go away once a year - it used to be around her birthday, but now it's pretty much whenever we can both fit it in. Although we both used to live in South Manchester (me longer than her), neither of us knew Salford very well, so that's what we chose this time. And as it turned out, Greater Manchester has changed quite a bit in the 23 years since I lived there.

Before our trip I booked Lola II the acting prison guard to help me do a bit of admin. While I manage most of my everyday admin without help, there are some unattractive types of admin where I need someone who doesn't let me wander off at a tangent into something I'd prefer to do. Lola II came up a day early to supervise, and even put a couple of items out on Freegle for me (both of which have now been taken). My aim is to rid my house of every knick-knack and unwanted item while also avoiding contributing directly to landfill. There's still quite a long way to go, but I'm trying.

Then on Friday we headed north, arriving for brunch very close to the flat where I used to live. One reason for this was because there are lots of interesting cafes offering brunch in that area, but another reason was that somehow I had accumulated a box of documents relating to my flat and I wanted to hand it over to the current residents. Being a Friday lunchtime there was nobody home, but I left it in the hallway in the hope that somebody would investigate.

Then we headed off to our Salford hotel, which was in walking distance of the Lowry arts centre. Lola II was in dire need of caffeine and we found a supplier in the main entrance area which was painted the exact same colour of purple as my coat, with details in a burgundy very similar to my hair.

Spot the Lola

After coffee for one, we proceeded to wander round the galleries of Lowry paintings - he did a lot more than just matchstick men. We'd booked tickets for a theatre performance in the evening, so we tried to find some dinner in the vicinity, but the only decent option was within the Lowry centre itself, and it was fine. The play was 'The Beekeeper of Aleppo', which was moving and sad.

We had to plan the next day around the afternoon activity we'd booked, and ended up taking the tram around town. The tram network reaches much further than in my day and turned out to be an excellent way to get around. We started with another brunch, this time in the centre of Manchester, before returning to Salford to visit the Imperial War Museum North. I would have liked to spend more time there, but we had to get back to Manchester city centre for our Silent Adventure.

We were part of a large crowd of about a hundred women and three men, and we were all given wireless headphones by the three leaders of the pack. They started by showing us a few dance moves and then proceeded to lead us around the streets of the city centre, singing and dancing as we went. We were viewed with some surprise and (I like to think) admiration by the inhabitants trying to go about their business. It was great fun, especially the mass singing of 'Wonderwall' from a raised area above people sitting outside a pub, who soon joined in. It was also good exercise - Lola II was warm enough to actually unzip three out of five of her outer layers of clothing.

A cup of tea and a sit down was called for at this point. Then another tram to Greens, which is a vegetarian restaurant where we used to go on special occasions and is round the corner from my ex-flat. I enjoyed being able to choose from the whole menu, and there were even a couple of allium-free options for Lola II. And then, another tram back to Salford and the hotel.

Next day, after the obligatory brunch, we visited H+B in Altrincham. I delivered a gift from mum, we politely refused gifts of plants in return (we both have a dire success rate with plant gifts), accepted gifts of electrical trailing sockets, and through an agonising IT process managed to buy lunch for us all. H insisted that despite all evidence to the contrary he hasn't managed to clear his basement much (he definitely has).

It was a very fine weekend and we only scratched the surface of Salford and Manchester's offerings. I'd like to go back for more, and Lola II and perhaps Mr M might be able to come too, if we can find a time when we're all free...

Manchester, April 2023

It's starting to feel like spring

Mac, April 2023

Mac the dog came to stay, just for one night. I found out afterwards that this was his first time away from his regular hosts, which may explain some of his behaviour, and I was warned in advance of a couple of things - his dislike of getting into cars, and his chewing on blankets. Sure enough it took four of us twenty minutes to tempt him into my car to get him home. When it was time to go back to the Centre I didn't bother trying to get him into the car but walked him back instead - luckily it isn't very far. He seemed very stressed and anxious most of the time, and wouldn't even come in the front door of the house without a good deal of persuasion. I was thankful for his sake as well as mine that the stay was only one night.

I am pleased to say that mum is much better now and we have started a new project to try and get a wheelchair ramp installed so dad stands a chance of getting in and out of the house. Not that he wants to... I have been on two retreats, my study group and our weekly meetings continue, as does badminton and the fortnightly pub quiz. 

UJ and I had our second welfare visit to check that everything is still OK - it's been six months since she arrived, although she's been back home in Kyiv for a significant part of that. Now that she has a job (and it took two of us to construct the office chair that her employer provided) she will probably be in the UK more of the time, since there are in-person meetings she has to attend in London. During my first retreat over the Easter Bank Holiday UJ went to see a friend in Amsterdam, and when I came back from the second weekend retreat she reported that she had met up with other Ukrainians locally, celebrated Easter with traditional cake and other foods, and been to a gig. So I'm happy that she doesn't rely on me for all her social activity, which previously was a slight concern.

And I fixed my printer (sort of)! It was reporting a paper jam when there wasn't one, and the Internet showed me what the problem was likely to be, and now it is (intermittently) fixed. I don't print very much, but it is very annoying not to be able to. I don't know how long my fix will last, but the three pages that I wanted are done.