Fiddling on the roof

Kyre Park Garden, October 2024

Before my solitary retreat I went on a weekend retreat with the Buddhists from Birmingham, for which I was designated Organiser. There wasn't a whole lot of organising to do, and as well as the scheduled sessions I had a chance to catch up with some of the people I'd got to know while I was volunteering at the retreat centre. I went straight from there to my week's solitary in an annexe to a cottage which had been designed for the purpose. The woman who owned it lived in the cottage, and we had a coffee and a lovely conversation at the end of the week.

I took off my watch when I arrived and didn't put it back on until the final morning, just keeping track of the days and letting everything else happen when it wanted to. I meditated, read a lot, wrote a little, went out for walks and did a lot of thinking. I took all my meals with me ready-prepared so I didn't have to do any shopping or cooking, and it was lovely. Next time I'll see if I can manage to extend it to ten days.

I returned to an empty house; UJ has gone back to Ukraine for a holiday. Next day I'd arranged for Hlf to come and do the pointing of the chimney stacks. Hlf's Sidekick and a young lad arrived quite late, and the Sidekick kept dashing off to look after other jobs, leaving the lad to do the work. I had a few conversations with him; he wasn't very happy - the roof was too steep to be safe and he was expected to work off ladders and sitting across the ridge. In the end he couldn't safely reach all the parts of the chimney that he was supposed to, and it was nearly dark by the time he'd finished what he could do.

The next day I went out to have a look, and wasn't happy with the half done job. I let Hlf know that I was concerned about the safety of his employee as well as the fact that I wasn't going to be paying the full amount because of the parts that hadn't been pointed. Then I looked online to see who might be able to get involved on the safety side of things - Trading Standards for Warwickshire direct you to the Citizen's Advice Bureau, so that's where I'm heading as soon as I get enough time to phone during office hours.

Next I was in London for two days thanks to a visit from Cousin M from Seattle. Mr M took us both on a tour of the area around the Barbican before handing us over to Lola II for afternoon tea at a Very Posh Hotel. It was very good, but the verdict was that the previous tea I'd had with Lola II had been slightly better. We went on to a performance of the musical Guys and Dolls which was slightly unusual because we took up the option of being part of the action. The stage was in the round and we stood alongside the actors and other members of the audience while different parts of the stage rose up so everyone could see what was going on. It was a terrific idea and was executed well, but standing up for the performance after walking around London for the day left me pretty tired.

I've filled my diary a little too much despite my resolution to try and leave space, but it's all been things I've enjoyed - visiting mum, going to the cinema (twice), my U3A walk, badminton, training with Muscles, cooking, and today I went to an event organised by LeamLETS, which is the trading system that works by its members offering services using a barter system. The event was mainly social and there were some lovely people there, but you could also bring things to trade. An opportunity for GRUHI! And what's more, people took some of my junk, and I talked to the woman who organises the trading table at the local Repair Café, so I'll be there next weekend in the hope of similar results.

What I've been reading

Herzog
by Saul Bellow

"His formidable wife Madeleine has left him for his best friend. His head buzzing with ideas, he writes frantic, unsent letters to friends and enemies, colleagues and famous people, the living and the dead, revealing the spectacular workings of his labyrinthine mind and the innermost secrets of his troubled heart."

A 'Modern Classic' with this idiosyncratic tic of including his interpolated letters and notes that simply irritated me, while the literary and historical references were lost on me. The last few chapters had less of this, and were much more satisfactory, even though it wasn't enough to redeem the book.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth
by Jules Verne

narrated by B. J. Harrison

"An adventurous geology professor chances upon a manuscript in which a 16th-century explorer claims to have found a route to the earth's core. Professor Lidenbrock can't resist the opportunity to investigate, and with his nephew Axel, he sets off across Iceland in the company of Hans Bjelke, a native guide."

I still think I remember aspects of the film that was an enjoyable Saturday afternoon classic on TV when I was growing up, but it may just be false memory. The book isn't bad, narration not bad either. Passed the time.

Adventures in Human Being
by Gavin Francis

"We have a lifetime's association with our bodies, but for many of us they remain uncharted territory. The reader is led on a journey through health and illness, offering insights on everything from the ribbed surface of the brain to the secret workings of the heart and the womb; from the pulse of life at the wrist to the unique engineering of the foot."

A mixture of medical, surgical and anecdotal material relating to different parts of the body. Nothing particularly memorable or outstanding but it was interesting enough, and I intend to pass it on to the woman who has been giving me fantastic deep tissue shoulder massage recently.

Creative Symbols of Tantric Buddhism
by Sangharakshita

"The aim of Tantric Buddhism is to help us realize our potential for profound wisdom and unbounded compassion by transforming the energy locked in by old habits, fears, and narrow views. This experience cannot be mediated by concepts; it is beyond words and thought, but it can be evoked with the help of symbols."

This was the textbook for the last module with the group of women that I've studied with for nearly five years. The material is full of mysticism and symbolism and everything is metaphorical - colour, sound, shape and form. Not the easiest subject, but I did learn a bit about the historical context as well as trying to let go of some of my more stubborn habits of mind.

The Tao of Pooh
by Benjamin Hoff

"In which it is revealed that one of the world's great Taoist masters isn't Chinese - or a venerable philosopher - but is in fact none other than that effortlessly calm, still, reflective bear, Winnie-the-Pooh. While Eeyore frets, and Piglet hesitates, and Rabbit calculates, and Owl pontificates, Pooh just is."

So I've been on a solitary retreat, which gives me a lot of space and time to do things that I like, which includes reading. A lot of reading. This was on the shelves there, and I remember when it was first published in 1982 because of earnest friends seeking Eastern wisdom. I wasn't much interested then, but obviously time has brought change. I'm still not sure I understand the difference between Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism, but it doesn't really matter.

An Evil Cradling
by Brian Keenan

"When Brian Keenan went to Beirut in 1980 for a change from his native Belfast, he was kidnapped by fundamentalist Shi'ite militiamen and held in the suburb of Beirut for the next four and a half years. For much of that time he was shut off from all news and contact with anyone other than his jailers and, later, his fellow hostages. "

This is a book that has long appeared on my list of 'Books I'd like to read', perhaps ever since it was published in 1992. Telling the story of his imprisonment in Lebanon as a hostage alongside three Americans and Englishman and journalist John McCarthy, it was not perhaps the best choice of reading for a solitary retreat. But being thrown upon one's own resources provides insight into the nature of mind, strength and personality. Clearly a cottage in Worcestershire is not the same as a dungeon in Beirut, but his story provided much to admire and emulate from my comfortable room. John McCarthy's book was also on the shelves, but I decided it wasn't sensible to continue this sort of reading at this time.

The Heart: The Art of Meditation
by Vessantara

"Cultivating more warmth, more kindness and more happiness is possible for all of us. Through the lovingkindness meditation, the gentle and encouraging approach of experienced meditator Vessantara helps us to discover the positive wonder of what is already in our hearts."

This small book focusses on the meditation that I was concentrating on during my solitary retreat - it's a beginner's primer, but with lots of useful hints and tips, and one of those books that contains exercises that you can do but I always skip. Well, on retreat there's nothing else that needs to be done, so I didn't skip the exercises (except the one that involved being in a crowded place), and it was really interesting to watch my mind doing its thing.

A Slip of the Keyboard
by Terry Pratchett

"With all the humour and humanity that have made his novels so enduringly popular, this collection brings Pratchett out from behind the scenes of the Discworld to speak for himself – man and boy, bibliophile and computer geek, champion of hats, orang-utans and Dignity in Dying."

Essentially this is a book of Terry Pratchett's essays written throughout his life as articles in the paper, forewords to books, speeches at Science Fiction conventions and so on. I discovered that he started his career as a journalist for a local paper, became a press officer within the nuclear power industry before the joy of his words and imagination made him a millionaire and a national treasure.

Truckers
by Terry Pratchett

"To the thousands of the tiny nomes who live under the floorboards of a large department store, there is no Outside. Things like Day and Night, Sun and Rain are just daft old legends. Then a devastating piece of news shatters their existence: the Store - their whole world - is to be demolished."

Because the cottage contained every Terry Pratchett book (I think) - and in chronological order on the shelves, it's been interesting to follow up little nuggets  from the book of essays. This is why I started reading Truckers with only one day before I'd have to leave - it's less complicated than the Discworld so I thought I'd have a chance of finishing it, which I did. As it's written for younger readers there's not so much of the clever wit that I love, but it's a neat idea taken more seriously than, say, the Borrowers.

 

Living with Kindness
by Sangharakshita

"Kindness is one of the most basic qualities we can possess, and one of the most powerful. Living with Kindness shows us how to cultivate many of the facets of kindness in ordinary, everyday life through the Buddha's teaching of metta in the Karaniya Metta Sutta."

This book was lent to me for the retreat, and has two themes. One is the meditation that I was working on during the retreat, and the other is the translation and analysis of the ancient text that led to the practice. The former is covered no better or worse than in two of the other books I brought with me, but the translation is fascinating. I'm tempted by the Sanskrit summer school that's available, but really I have enough already on my plate without adding another spoonful.

Meditation: The Buddhist Way of Tranquility and Insight
by Kamalashila

"A complete handbook and a comprehensive guide to the theory, methods, and practice of Buddhist meditation. Providing an introduction to the basic techniques for beginners, Kamalashila also offers detailed advice and reference material for those more experienced."

A very comprehensive manual starting at the very beginning but also including some pretty advanced meditation practices and techniques, which it has become clear I don't come close to mastering. A training day I attended recently included an interesting discussion about the purpose of meditation - is it to foster higher levels of consciousness, or to enable better awareness of self and other, both on and off the cushion? This book is heavily invested in the former, but all my efforts will have to remain centred on the latter.

Doing well

Helidon church, March 2024

Looking back, it's exactly three years since Glf the builder did such a good job of restoring and pointing my wall on the pub side. The reason for looking back is that the roofer pictured in the last blog post (newly named Hlf) highlighted that my two chimney stacks badly need pointing. I'm pretty sure that this was mentioned in the survey that was done when I bought the house more than twenty years ago, which just reminds me how far I've come since the time when I'm pretty sure I didn't know what pointing was.

Hlf discussed the options with me, decided that he could do the job without needing scaffolding, and has provided a quotation on that basis (and I only had to chase him twice). I asked Glf to come and have a look too but he wasn't prepared to take it on without scaffolding, and his quote (only one gentle reminder needed) is obviously twice as much as Hlf's. I'll offer it to Hlf, but being accustomed to the ways of the workmen I am very much prepared for him not to follow through, and then I'll fall back on Glf (who can't schedule the job until spring anyway).

Being able to take on workmen and get back to the LTRP has demonstrated that at the moment I am in pretty good shape, physically and mentally. This hasn't been the case for much of this year. Nothing dreadful, nothing specific, but I'd fallen into unhealthy and unhelpful habits which were proving tough to break. Several things have helped: the support of friends and family (often without them knowing about their part in my welfare), but also pulling myself together through meditation and reflection. The retreat in July gave me a really good opportunity to come up with a plan, which was slightly derailed by a couple of things, but is now working quite well. Apart from cutting out the chocolate and Wotsits, I have been seeing a Personal Trainer. Let's call him Muscles.

Muscles is young and fit (obviously) and has been leading me through some fairly gentle preliminary exercises involving what the experts describe as my 'core' muscles - pelvis, bum and abdomen mostly. Having been fairly fit in the past, I now recognise that I had really let myself go, despite playing badminton twice a week. I also recognise that while Muscles is quite an expensive option in comparison to classes at the local leisure centre, it is unlikely that I would achieve the same results under my own initiative.

I feel comfortable paying for Muscles because the payments ended for my orthodontic treatment a while ago, and now the alignment work is complete. It feels very strange to be without the aligners and I now seem to have developed the habit of unconsciously chewing my lips and the inside of my mouth which is very annoying. I have a night-time retainer to wear, and a visit to my new and slightly annoying dental hygienist has resulted in a further plea for additional attention to my night-time brushing routine.

As usual I've been cramming an enormous amount into my days, including the U3A walking and board games groups, a trip to the local Repair Café, my several Buddhist groups (in person and online), and my monthly music group. Leading up to each of the music sessions I inwardly groan about loading all the gear into the car and spending a whole afternoon with the group, but afterwards I'm always on a high for a day or two and ponder whether I've got time to squeeze more music into my life. This term the pieces that have been chosen are really good fun to play but also really hard, particularly for the baritone saxophone, which demands a lot of physical effort to play.

I also went to a comedy night featuring comedian Mark Watson. I was vaguely aware that he attended the same college as I did (many years after my time), but what I didn't know was that Suella Braverman, former Home Secretary and current Evil Gnome, was also there at the same time as him. I rather lost concentration on the comedy material for a few minutes when this became clear.

I'm going to have a bit of time off, with a weekend retreat leading into a week's solitary time. Now it's time to pack.

Mostly difficult stuff going on

Hlf, September 2024

Recently I visited mum and realised that I'd left one job so long that her email client (Outlook 2007) was going to stop working in less than a week - Microsoft no longer consider it secure because it's so old, and will prevent it from accessing her emails. So I swapped it for an alternative client, and the best part was that I also managed to upload her stored history of emails and her address book, which took a very long time but made me very happy to have achieved it. Then on the next visit I discovered that the new client was also blocked, and I managed to wrestle it to the ground and unblock it, but at the cost of losing all the emails that had arrived within a period of five days. Initially I thought I'd lost the whole Inbox and all the Sent items too, so losing just five days felt like a win.

I managed to go to the RSC to see The Merry Wives of Windsor. Whenever I go there, which is very seldom, I always vow I should go more. It's top quality theatre on my doorstep, so I don't know why I don't. And the roofers and my new glasses arrived on consecutive days in an expensive week. While the roofers were working I did a session of pruning in the garden - only three bags full, much more is needed.

Another thing that's been going on is renewing my car insurance. Over the years I have chosen to use a local broker for many of my policies - car, household, landlord insurance - but it has been well publicised that prices for insurance are rising. Generally what happens is that the broker gives me a quote, I go online and find the same cover at a lower price, and up to now they have managed to reduce their quote to something more acceptable. This time the renewal quote was £200 more than last year and when I went online the lowest quote was £170 less than this. I don't always choose the lowest quote, but the most common amount was still about £150 less than the broker, and they couldn't or wouldn't go anywhere near matching it. I don't quite see how they are going to survive on the High Street.

I've also been on retreat, which went very well - it was aimed at people who don't necessarily know anything about meditation or Buddhism, and so a) was much shorter than the heavy-duty retreats I've been attending and b) was at an introductory level in terms of teaching. But I chose it because it focussed on a topic that I've always found difficult, so I thought that starting from the beginning again might be useful. It was, but not in the way I expected. It was lovely to see people finding something they'd been looking for without knowing it, and to remember what I was like when I went on my first retreat at this centre when I didn't know who I was or what I wanted either. I've come a long way and all for the better.

I was going to carry on northwards for a weekend in York so arranged to drop in on H+B on the way. The York weekend had to be cancelled, but I went to H+B anyway, and talked about dismal things like the Office of the Public Guardian, Enduring Powers of Attorney, Executorship and Probate. But we wandered round the garden too, and admired the brickwork and freshly painted frontage of the house, and marvelled at the flat upstairs which is up for let at an eye-watering monthly sum. H is well, looks good, but is feeling his age (aren't we all). We agreed that the main thing for the avoidance of excruciating administrative entanglement is for H to remain alive for the time being, which thankfully he seems happy to do.