December films

Birmingham, March 2024

I've discovered the drawback to audiobooks via Spotify - I'm only entitled to 15 hours listening a month, so my latest Spotify book will take three months unless I buy extra listening time, which I'm not going to do. On the other hand, this spurred me on to explore BorrowBox, which is a free audiobook lending service provided by the local library. The range of books isn't as wide as Audible or Spotify and if a book's on loan then you have to wait, but you can reserve them.

Aside from spending time reading print and audio books I've seen a LOT of great films in December. I had a fair amount of free time over Christmas, and signed up for a free trial of Apple TV for a week. It turned out that very few of the films I was expecting to find were available there for free, but I started watching Ted Lasso (a TV series rather than a film) and loved it! UJ subscribes to Netflix and Prime, I get Disney+ as a perk of a Lloyds bank account, iPlayer and YouTube are free, and my DVD-by-post fills in the gaps. And I really did watch all these films in December.

Beatles '64 (Documentary, 2024, Disney+)

It was a bit of a risk watching this given how I'd fallen apart slightly last time I watched a film about the Beatles in 1969. But this was five years earlier, and the film followed their first foray into America which included that famous Ed Sullivan show and all the screaming fans. I enjoyed it.

Despicable Me 4 (Children/Family, 2024, DVD)

Not the best in the series (that's probably DM2) but doesn't disappoint. Villains are suitably villainous, the good guys come through in the end, and there's enough minion slapstick to please anyone.

Beautiful Boy (Drama, 2018, DVD)

I'm not sure how this got into my list because I've seen it before. Steve Carell and Timothée Chalamet do a great job as concerned father and addict son.

Bird (Drama, 2024, Cinema)

This was a bit of a gamble because my film review podcaster gurus were a little ambivalent, but it turned out to be wonderful. A young girl is trying to deal with her chaotic father re-marrying and her mother's abusive boyfriend putting her siblings in danger when she meets an interesting stranger called Bird.

Women Talking (Drama, 2022, iPlayer)

Another fantastic film, about an isolated religious community where it has been discovered that the men have been drugging and abusing the women and children. A few of the women get together to decide what to do:- nothing, forgive, fight and stay, or leave. Made particularly special by some wonderful actors.

Conclave (Thriller, 2024, Cinema)

I collected my friend with the new hip and drove him to the cinema to see this - it didn't disappoint. The Pope has died and the Cardinals are assembling into the Conclave where a new Pope is elected. It's based on a book by Robert Harris so many twists and turns follow, some more obvious than others. The background music is particularly effective.

Snow Cake (Drama, 2006, DVD)

This was my eventual choice for Buddhist film night, a wonderful film starring Alan Rickman and Sigourney Weaver, whom we last saw together in Galaxy Quest. This is a very different matter compared with that sci-fi comedy - Alan is a buttoned-up Brit and Sigourney an autistic mother, and the scenery, humour and pace of the film make it so heart-warming.

Still: A Michael J Fox Movie (Documentary, 2023, Apple TV)

A biographical documentary made by Fox himself, starting with his hugely successful early career before his diagnosis with Parkinson's Disease in 1991 at the age of just 30. His sense of humour comes through alongside the difficulties of living with the disease. It was interesting, but nothing special.

CODA (Drama, 2021, Apple TV)

I've been wanting to see this ever since it came out, so it was one of the first things I picked from my trial of Apple TV. CODA stands for Child Of Deaf Adults, and the film shows how the hearing daughter of deaf parents with a deaf brother copes with being the family interpreter while having musical ambitions of her own which her parents can't understand, or even hear. It was a wonderful film, thoroughly recommended.

Swan Song (Sci-fi thriller, 2021, Apple TV)

Set in the near future, a guy who is dying can replace himself with a healthy version, but he's not allowed to tell anyone and he would then die in the facility that does the copying. It's a great premise and the film was mostly good but went much too slowly towards the end - I lost patience with his sentimental indecision.

Come From Away (Musical, 2017, Apple TV)

I went to see the stage show in London with Lola II and only discovered this movie version (filmed on Broadway) with my Apple subscription. It's got some great tunes and I love the story behind it: a remote town in Newfoundland, Canada takes in 7000 travellers who are diverted from their destinations when US airspace is closed in the immediate aftermath of 9/11.

Fly Me To The Moon (Romance, 2024, Apple TV)

A standard romantic comedy set within NASA in the lead up to the first moon landing. The premise is that a) someone was recruited to 'sell' the idea of going to the moon in order to attract funding, and b) the success of the enterprise was so important that a secret fake moon landing was to be filmed just in case the real one went wrong. Channing Tatum and Scarlett Johansson are both lovely to look at.

On The Rocks (Drama, 2020, Apple TV)

I was really casting about to see if there was anything left on Apple TV that I wanted, and rejected Killers of the Flower Moon because it was 3½ hours long. This looked interesting as it features Bill Murray, who usually makes a film worth seeing. Not so much this time, but good enough that I saw it through to the end.

Emilia Perez (Musical, 2024, Netflix)

This is the strangest musical that I have ever seen. It's a serious drama set within crime-ridden Mexico but featuring occasional songs like a musical, with the most unexpected plot twist I have ever encountered and ending with a huge gangster shootout. I absolutely loved it - highly recommended.

My Old Ass (Comedy, 2024, Prime)

Another cracking film, where a young woman meets an older version of herself (Aubrey Plaza, whom I love), and pesters her for a piece of advice which then proves impossible to follow. And then we find out why and it's heart-breaking. So not altogether a comedy, I suppose, but I thought it was great.

Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl (Comedy, 2024, iPlayer)

Released on Christmas Day, I watched it (nearly) live and of course it's very entertaining. Perhaps I was saturated with films by then, but I didn't think it was anything extraordinary. The first plasticine animations were so original and different, but we're all used to them now.

Wit (Drama, 2001, YouTube)

I've been trying to find this film for many years and had concluded that it was no longer available until unexpectedly during a film-based conversation somebody mentioned they'd seen it, and suggested it might be found on YouTube. Which it was. Based on a play, over the course of 1½ hours it simply focusses on one woman's death from cancer after a life spent teaching 17th century poetry.

Human Traffic (Drama, 1999, iPlayer)

I brought this to Nottingham to watch as our Christmas film along with my friends, who hadn't seen it before. It portrays the club scene at the end of the 90's, which the four of us were all quite familiar with, and it definitely doesn't take itself too seriously.

So that was eighteen films watched in December, and on 1st January I watched another in Amsterdam with Lola II and Mr M - but that's a story for another blog post.

Christmas at Lola Towers

Worcestershire, October 2024

Aside from watching a huge number of films and reading those two stupid annoying Connie Willis books, I've done a few other, more sociable things during the festive break.

We had a badminton tournament, and I have come to terms with not being in the top two or three players any more. I continue to be exercised by Muscles, my Personal Trainer, and he has gradually increased the intensity of his demands, but never beyond my capability. Sister D says that this is the heart of her experience of a Personal Trainer - never being asked to do something you can't. I do feel, however, that I inhabit a body that is significantly less able than it used to be, and which constantly reminds me that I'm not as young as I was.

The U3A walking group has finished until next year, but three of us were going to assemble for the board games group until the host sent a sad message that the session was cancelled - his wife had a stroke. She is a lovely woman who is not in the least interested in board games but feeds us tea and biscuits and proudly showed us the picture she was painting as a Christmas present for her son.

And on Christmas Eve I donated blood, which seems a very Christmassy thing to do. I spent all of Christmas Day on my own and didn't even go out, but had a lovely time doing exactly what I liked. On Boxing Day I organised a walk with the Buddhists (seven of us turned up for that), and in the afternoon I went over for tea with the Man Who Remains Nameless. You seriously wouldn't be able to tell that less than four weeks ago he'd had a hip replacement. He says that there are certain movements that he needs to avoid, like twisting, or bending more than 90 degrees at the hip, but otherwise he just seems to be walking normally. It's astonishing.

I did have a belated Christmas dinner with my friends in Nottingham on the weekend after Christmas. Complete with presents, dog-walking and crackers (and therefore hats, jokes and novelties), we had a great time.

What I've been reading

A Calamity of Souls
by David Baldacci

narrated by Cary Hite, Kiiri Sandy, MacLeod Andrews, Sisi Aisha Johnson

"Set in the tumultuous year of 1968 in southern Virginia, a racially-charged murder case sets a duo of white and Black lawyers against a deeply unfair system as they work to defend their wrongfully-accused Black defendants in this courtroom drama."

I can't work out why I picked this book - it's very recent and not on any of my lists. Someone must have recommended it, and I'm glad they did because it's a fantastic read. I often have trouble with remembering characters and plot in the audio format, but not with this - and I made time just to sit and listen to find out what happens next. And it has a proper ending to the trial, even if the end of the book is a little contrived.

Blackout
by Connie Willis

"Oxford, England in 2060. A trio of time travelling scholars prepare to depart for various corners of the Second World War. Their mission: to observe, from a safe vantage point, the day-to-day nature of life during this critical historical moment."

Connie Willis has written two of my all-time favourite books (To Say Nothing of the Dog and Doomsday Book) but this one is a stinker. And the worst thing about it is that it's only Part 1 of the story and there's a whole other book I now have to read to finish it, and the second worst thing is that this one is 610 pages long (that's nearly an inch and a half thick) and the second half is 793 pages (an inch and three quarters), and it's all so annoying. She seems so proud of knowing the geography of London and which tube stations are on which lines and how to get from one to another that she spends whole chapters describing how to get from Bond Street to Piccadilly Circus by changing at Oxford Circus. Sometimes I have stress dreams about not being able to get to somewhere because of a road block or a train delay or because I can't run fast enough in my dream - well, this is a whole book just about that, with scenes of the Blitz and the Dunkirk evacuation thrown in for historical context.

All Clear
by Connie Willis

"When the three time-travelling Oxford historians become unexpectedly trapped in 1940, they struggle not only to find their way home but to survive as Hitler’s bombers attempt to pummel London into submission."

She could really have done with cutting out at least half of this book and the previous one - there are so many chapters where nothing happens except one of the characters waits for the other two to get back from where they've gone, or where someone tries to go from one place to another and is repeatedly diverted. There's a really good story in there that would make a great book if it were no more than 400 pages, and this stupid saga is 1400 pages. I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed, but both of these books are moving to the charity shop shelf.

Concert

Les Arcs, February 2024

Things are going to calm right down at last, with some days coming up having only one thing in them, and Friday to Sunday having nothing at all, which is probably a record. UJ will have gone back home to Kyiv so I'm looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet, in which I intend to do some walking if the weather is fine, and watching films. There may be nothing to blog about.

Meanwhile, our concert took place, for which my practice paid off and I experienced no significant embarrassments. It was different from our usual concert because we joined up with a small orchestra called Eclectica, which seemed similar to Lola II's music group. We (Coventry Arts' flutes, saxophones and clarinets) played the first half, there was an interval with tea and cakes, then Eclectica started the second half and we all came together for three Christmas pieces at the end. 

I loved the discipline of the orchestra, which reminded me of my school days. They tuned properly at the start, nobody chatted, they paid attention to the conductor... There are all sorts of tiny annoyances within our group - people parping when others are trying to tune (on the rare occasions when we do tune), people not having their music in order, everyone having to wait while someone finds a pencil, or drops a pencil, people chatting while another section is running through something, people just not listening then asking where we're playing from... There's one woman in particular who starts talking as soon as we stop playing and then invariably doesn't know where we're starting from. But despite these little issues I do enjoy the end result, most of the time.

Playing the baritone sax is quite tiring compared to the clarinet, and I had quite a lot to play so I wasn't sure I'd manage to make it to the end of the mass items. There was always going to be scope for miming among that number of people, but because of the break in the middle I carried on playing through to the very end. It was a very successful event in a much better venue than our usual cramped and freezing church - we were in a school hall with a stage - and the audience was much bigger than ours usually is. It was even accessible by train so UJ came along together with a man she's been seeing, who seemed very nice.

Smoke and mirrors

Tate Modern, November 2024

As well as the Assisted Dying event, I spent a lovely couple of days with Lola II and Mr M. We started with an Egyptian lunch in Knightsbridge - I was a bit early so popped into Harvey Nichols out of interest. I only went up to the food department, and concluded that it isn't a shop that I belong in at all. Then we went on to the Tate Modern, specifically for an art installation which beamed shapes of light in a dark room onto screens, and filled the room with haze so the passage of the light through the room could be seen. It was quite fun to play with the installation, although I really don't understand Art, especially Modern Art. It was also pretty expensive even though one of us got in for free thanks to an Art Pass.

Next day Lola II took me to an Art café where we each painted a small canvas. Looking at mine up close I didn't think it was all that good when I finished it, and I wasn't going to take it home. But when I was washing brushes across the room Lola II told me to look back at it, and it looked much better from a distance, so it is now in Lola II's house until such time that I can collect it - I wasn't about to take it with me to the demo and then onto the train.

Back home again, I went to visit my new friend (still nameless for the purposes of this blog) who fell off his bike and ended up in hospital with a broken hip. They gave him a hip replacement and sent him home after four days, when he was already able independently to make me a cup of tea - I brought cakes. We marvelled at our amazing National Health Service while also mourning its huge deficiencies.

Great progress for mum too, where we managed to replace her 2G phone with an almost identical 4G one, and she also achieved a price reduction of £7 by insisting on paying the price displayed on the shelf rather than what came up on the till. I am much less assertive that she is in shops, although I would say that she is a little too assertive on certain facts than she should be - the Blue Badge was not in the cupboard where she said it was, so there. Not until writing this did I realise that we could have parked in the disabled bays even without a badge - I think my assertiveness needs work.

I've had a few long, full days, but have been a bit more successful than previously at building in gaps between them, to the extent of not going on my Friday morning U3A walk because Thursday and Saturday had so much in them. This was the right decision. On Saturday I volunteered to staff the Leamington LETS stall at the local Repair Café on a day so filled with wind and rain so that hardly anyone came, then went straight on to my last music group rehearsal before the concert next week. The music this term has been so challenging that I've actually had to practise both saxophone and clarinet parts, which is probably a first for this group.

On Sunday, UJ announced that she'd joined a choir, something she's been thinking of doing for a while, and their carol service was taking place that afternoon, so I went along. She seems to have joined the Parish Church choir, which is somewhat surprising (she did say there was quite a lot of talking about God). The service was sparsely attended, which was a shame because I love belting out a Christmas carol among other enthusiasts. Unfortunately the bits between the carols reminded me why I really don't get on with Christianity.

Demonstrating

Parliament Square, London, November 2024

Lola II and I planned a couple of days together to muck about in London, and then the date was announced for the Parliamentary Second Reading and vote on the "Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life)" Bill. So I extended my stay so I could attend the demo organised by 'Dignity in Dying' outside Parliament, and Lola II came with me. Just to be clear, I am very much in favour of Assisted Dying and was there to support the Bill, along with a whole lot of other people dressed in pink and carrying banners.

I've been to these gatherings before, and the weather plays a big part in the experience. It was gloriously sunny, and while this didn't help much with feet on the cold pavement it did at least mean that my torso was warm, aided by the six layers of thermals and jumpers and coats and hat and gloves. The crowd was occasionally addressed by speakers from Dignity in Dying and Humanists UK, one of Esther Rantzen's daughters, Rabbi Jonathan Romain, and some people sharing personal experience of death and dying. We were also encouraged to lend our voices to a number of chants, mostly for the benefit of the assembled Press and their cameras. I suspect this vocal activity was as alien to most of the crowd as it was to me, so we were a bit reticent to begin with: 

"WHAT DO WE WANT?" 

"Erm, do we really have to shout?" 

"COME ON EVERYONE, WHAT DO WE WANT?" 

"Assisted dying?" 

"COME ON, LOUDER, WHAT DO WE WANT?" 

"Oh really, must we?"

"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"

"Now?"

But we all got into the swing of it eventually, and I realised that shouting is quite fun, it uses a fair bit of energy, and I hadn't really had a good shout for many a long year. Not something one does as a respectable middle aged woman who doesn't go to football matches. I thought I might have another shout just for the fun of it when I'm on my own in the house (but I probably won't).

The opponents' demonstration was across the road, much nearer to Parliament so I didn't see much of it, but it looked as though their crowd was significantly smaller than ours. We didn't get to see or hear any of the debate that was taking place inside but I watched a little bit afterwards and then read the transcript, and it seemed to be one of the most sincere and serious discussions that has taken place in many years, with almost no point-scoring, shouting or waving of order papers. 

The main (non-religious) objections were 

a) that vulnerable people may experience coercion, 

b) that it is more important to improve and extend palliative care, and

c) that the scope might be extended (the 'slippery slope') to people who are disabled, elderly or suffering without a terminal illness. 

The rebuttal of these points is 

a) that vulnerable people experience coercion at the moment but there is no legal framework to investigate this until after they have died, whereas this proposal allows for investigation of possible coercion while they are still alive

b) that it's not one or the other - palliative care can be improved and extended (as it has been in other jurisdictions where assisted dying has been made available), and in fact if this Bill were not before the House then all this talk of improving palliative care would probably not be happening, and

c) that the title of the Bill does not allow for anyone but terminally ill adults to take advantage of the opportunity of an assisted death, and it cannot be changed; also in other jurisdictions with similar legislation (e.g. Oregon [USA], Victoria [Australia] but not Canada or Netherlands which have very different scope) there has been no change or extension in 25 years.

There are many heart-rending examples of the suffering that has been endured by those for whom palliative care has not worked, and I can see no reason to deny them the option of an assisted death on any of the grounds given above. I have written to my MP a number of times about the issue in the past, and he has responded a couple of times in a non-committal way, but on the day he voted in favour and also published a statement on his website. When the result came through that the Bill had been passed by a significant majority, the respectful murmur that followed was very different from the usual cheering and jeering in the Chamber. 

There's a long way to go before this Bill becomes law - the Committee stage, the Report stage, a third reading, then off to the House of Lords, so I may be standing out in the cold with my placard a few more times in the next year or two. But it is clear that a majority of the public are in favour of assisted dying with the safeguards outlined in the Bill, and while it is not perfect I believe that the current legal situation is much worse.

Meetings

East Sussex, July 2024

There have been many meetings in my life recently, some of them containing more business than just coffee at a local place. The Buddhist team for the local group had an online meeting, so did my group of Buddhist women that I see regularly, and my study group is meeting in person until the end of the year. Continuing the Buddhist theme, we had a social event in my new favourite restaurant in Leamington (an-all vegetarian version of my previous favourite restaurant), and I've been to a couple of Buddhist events in Birmingham.

Aside from the Buddhists I attended the Folk Festival Venue Managers' meeting. It turns out that I am a Deputy Venue Manager (Communications team) along with another chap, and given that the actual Venue Manager is retiring, we are in charge next time. I am trying hard to be supportive without actually taking any responsibility, and it seems to be working so far. I won't be able to attend the next meeting in May, which will help with this plan.

I continue to fill my days with regular stuff other than the Buddhism - walks, board games, badminton, personal training and now more film than before. One of the U3A people I met through board games - the one who came to the film festival, and will probably have to be given a pseudonym before long - is interested in films, so I've been going to the Spa Centre where the afternoon performance is only £4.50 if you're 60, and a loyalty card gives you the seventh visit for free. It's probably the first loyalty card I've actually been loyal to. [Latest update - sadly my new U3A and film friend has fallen off his bike and broken his hip, so I'm on my own again for the time being.]

UJ has returned from her trip back home to Kyiv, and as has happened each time she's returned after going home, her English has deteriorated to the point that I have to make her repeat what she's saying several times e.g. to work out that she's saying 'faucet' instead of 'tap'. She will watch films at home with me, and we have several episodes of Taskmaster to catch up on. She sometimes invites me to go to the cinema with her, and often I accept, but usually regret it - the cinema is generally crowded because she can't go on a weekday afternoon, and she likes films that aren't always to my taste.

What I've been reading

What Lies Beneath
by Peter Faulding

"The arresting memoir of murder, investigation and justice from Britain's leading forensic search and rescue experts. Recovering bodies, finding discarded remains, identifying unmarked graves and saving people from locations and situations too dangerous for the normal emergency services are all in a day’s work."

A bit too much autobiographical detail, and much too much self-congratulatory content. Not all that well written either - he's a search and rescue expert after all, not a writer. But it's not bad when he sticks to describing the facts of the cases, and contains a little reminder of the times when Swampy was underground, defending us all against the Newbury Bypass.

Carrie's War
by Nina Bawden

"Evacuated from London to Wales during the Second World War, Carrie and her brother are sent to live with the very strict Mr Evans. In trying to heal the breach between Mr Evans and his estranged sister, Carrie does the worst thing she ever did in her life."

A children's book from my Classics list that I picked up from the book swap shelves in Leamington station on my way to Stoke-on-Trent. Easy to read of course, and a satisfying story to fill the journey.

Reality is Not What it Seems: The Journey to Quantum Gravity
by Carlo Rovelli

"Our understanding of reality has changed throughout centuries, from Democritus to loop quantum gravity. On a wondrous journey we are invited us to imagine a whole new world where black holes are waiting to explode, spacetime is made up of grains, and infinity does not exist."

Another book from this wonderful author who explains the most complicated material in a way that I can (mostly) grasp, although don't ask me to explain anything but the simplest bits. I particularly like the historical timeline where the theories of time and space are proposed and then revised, so that space and time and particles and fields gradually morph into covariant quantum fields. Another idea that is proposed is the idea of space and time as a process rather than as things, which is how Buddhism views life, the universe and everything. And hooray for getting rid of infinity, which has always made my brain feel like porridge.

Inter-Faith panel

Adhisthana cats, June 2024

My trading table at the Leamington Repair café resulted in minimal GRUHI but was a very social affair, and I'm tempted to do it again just for the chat. Meanwhile my complaint about the safety of the roofing job went to the HSE, I received a couple of follow up emails asking for more information, and nothing since then.

Two Buddhist things of note this week. Since the pandemic times there have been retreats offered for online participation. I tend to avoid them because going online at home makes it difficult to create conditions that allow me to get the best out of the retreat. I get distracted by phone and email and housework and my long list of projects. But for a retreat that took place last weekend I got together with three other friends and we rented an Airbnb cottage (more like a mansion actually) and did the retreat there, which was absolutely wonderful.

The other Buddhist thing: for several years my group has been invited to send someone to the local girls prep school for an Inter-Faith panel. Normally we can't find anyone to take part and we have to turn them down, but this year I went and represented Buddhism alongside people who were Sikh, Hindu, Muslim, Christian and 'no faith/utilitarian'. It was quite a step for me personally, and raised all sorts of confusing questions about who exactly I am nowadays, but apart from that it went quite well. The pupils submitted a load of questions, mostly ethically orientated (does your faith allow abortion, do you welcome LGBTQ people etc.) but also the question "What's your favourite thing about your religion?"

Most of the answers were unsurprising, except for the Muslim woman who represented Islam as being the best religion for women because men were restricted to just four wives ("previously they had had hundreds"), but only if the first can't bear children or for some reason can't 'satisfy his needs' or he just falls for someone else. And this was her favourite thing about Islam, along with not having to pray if you're menstruating. I was not impressed. And a little bit shocked, if I'm honest.

To end with a very minor conundrum - I've been enjoying the board games group a great deal. We tend to play two games over the afternoon, or sometimes the same game twice, but for the last few times I've attended, I've won both times. Everyone is very nice and I don't think anyone minds, but I'm starting to think I need to try less hard and give someone else a chance. That's going to be quite a challenge!

Not Today Thank You

Stoke Museum and Art Gallery, October 2024 (all photos taken by Lola II)

Long ago Lola II and I used to go away together for a weekend, sometimes with Sister D, usually around Lola II's birthday in February. The weather was often poor and many attractions were closed, which we ascribed to the time of year and inevitably blamed our parents. This time, for a few days at the end of October, we went to Stoke-on-Trent. Here is a brief overview of the visit: the weather was poor and many attractions were closed. So it isn't just February, and maybe our parents weren't to blame, but my goodness, Stoke on Trent failed to deliver the short break we were hoping for.

We arrived on Tuesday having done fairly minimal preparation, although the B&B was pre-booked. It was a pub with rooms, and only when we arrived did we realise that it was some way from the station in the opposite direction to the main town area. As those of you familiar with Arnold Bennett's books (my source material for much of my prior knowledge of Stoke) will know, there are a cluster of five towns in the region: Tunstall, Burslem, Hanley, Fenton, Stoke and Longton. So there are actually six, which makes as much sense as anything else in Stoke. [Historical note: they were amalgamated in 1910 to become the county borough of Stoke-on-Trent.]

When we got to the pub at the end of Tuesday, it turned out to have not only the rooms upstairs but also a well-equipped kitchen where we were encouraged to help ourselves to breakfast - not only cereal and toast and yogurt and juice but also eggs that we could cook for ourselves. There was nobody else staying when we arrived, and we were told that the manager had left unexpectedly so existing bookings were being honoured but no new ones taken until a replacement was recruited. The pub downstairs smelled a bit dank, closed at 9pm on weekdays, and everyone turned to look at us when we walked through to the stairs the first time; after that we used the back entrance. But the room and kitchen upstairs were lovely.

I would assert that our accommodation was the best part of the trip. Lola II and I had both made cursory searches to find interesting museums, eating places, entertainment and other potential attractions in the city. There was a film and a play we wanted to see so that would take up two evenings, and various pottery museums and restaurants that looked interesting, but our first foray into town to find lunch was problematic. We found that hardly anything was open on Tuesday, except a sandwich restaurant where we wanted to eat, but it was fully booked. 

This was a running theme throughout our stay. The tourist information office appeared to be located in the Museum and Art Gallery, which was closed on Tuesdays. The place that looked promising for desserts had run out of fudge cake. The next day the sandwich place was fully booked again and the dumpling restaurant that was supposed to be open was still closed. The café at the theatre on Wednesday night was fully booked, so our (perfectly acceptable) supper was crisps, cake and beer. By Thursday we'd cottoned on so we phoned the dumpling restaurant to check its opening hours and booked the sandwich restaurant for Friday.

The Old Free Library with Shakespeare mosaic and faded tiles (unocccupied)

The Museum and Art Gallery was open on Wednesday, but they told us that the Tourist Information Office hadn't been located there for some time, and in fact there seemed to be no source of tourist information other than leaflets and websites. Lola II and I have been to lots of places now, and each one has had some sort of guided tour of places of interest. Stoke isn't short of places of interest and it's a shame that there were no local guides. We did follow an interesting online trail highlighting various beautiful buildings with terracotta decoration and tiled details, nearly all of which were closed down and boarded up and decaying. It would have been better if a tour could have been delivered in person, and maybe would have provided a boost to the local economy.

One successful eating place was the Oatcake shop (closed on Tuesdays and doesn't take card payments on Thursdays). We managed to get there while it was open, brought cash, and tried a filled oatcake each - they are very much like pancakes or crepes. There was a very authentic and delicious Vietnamese restaurant which we almost left because the menu didn't have anything that was vegetarian, although they produced tofu when we asked. The dumpling restaurant was underwhelming despite a positive write-up in the Guardian, but in the sandwich shop my tofu and kimchi toasted sandwich was outstanding, and better than Lola II's halloumi and tomato relish. We also made our own supper one evening in the little kitchen at the pub.

Enough of the food, on to the other attractions. The main Museum and Art Gallery is the home of the Staffordshire Hoard, a wonderful treasure that I saw when it was displayed in Birmingham a few years ago. Which was lucky, because here in Stoke it had been completely removed leaving the cases in the gallery empty. There was a fairly interesting art exhibition that Lola II got us into for free with her Art Pass, and we spent the rest of our time in the museum looking at exhibitions of local history, fossils and stuffed animals, and an enormous amount of pottery. It's what the area is famous for, after all.

With hope in our hearts and having checked the opening hours we headed for the Spode Museum next day. Trying to find the entrance we encountered another visitor who was similarly confused. She was from Germany and was having a canal boat holiday, and had specifically come into town for this museum. When we eventually found it, despite the sign on the door suggesting that it ought to be open, the doors were locked. Luckily someone inside heard us knocking, and explained when she opened the door that she was on her own as the other volunteers had not turned up, and had we come far? We certainly had, and as we appeared to be relatively harmless she was kind enough to allow us inside (but locked the door behind us). 

She gave us a really interesting introduction to the museum and told us that only 47 of the bottle kilns are left in the area out of the thousands that were there in Stoke's heyday. (This is why Stoke should have real people giving tours, it was much better than reading a leaflet or a web page or just having labels in display cases.) There was an old film showing the stages of making, firing and decorating pottery which was really interesting too. When we left there were a group of people waiting outside the locked door but they weren't let in, so we were particularly lucky on that occasion.

Later in the day we thought we'd stop by and have a look at Stoke Minster, where Josiah Wedgewood and Josiah Spode are both buried. They're outside in the churchyard, which is lucky because the Minster itself was closed. And the tea room nearby that looked very attractive was fully booked and didn't even have space for us to wait.

We took a bus to the small theatre for a John Godber play (Perfect Pitch) and enjoyed it, but the Iranian film we saw the following night (My Favourite Cake) was even better. Getting around by bus was a bit of a challenge - it was quite difficult to locate the right bus stop to wait at, and then the drivers seemed to have trouble understanding what we were saying. 

On Thursday night we tried to plan for our last day, and work out what to do until our trains left in the early afternoon. There didn't seem to be anything. Another pottery museum looked promising, but our experience suggested it would be worth phoning to check its opening hours, and sure enough it was closed. So in the end we watched Tales of the Unexpected and Frasier on the TV in the room until it was time to vacate, and then just went into town for lunch. While we were eating, Lola II received a notification that her train was cancelled, so she asked at the station whether she could get an earlier train, and when the answer was no we tried to go into the station hotel opposite for a cup of tea. It was closed.

After we'd returned from the trip, Mr M sent me an extract of an article about a remake of the film "Dr Strangelove". It says:

"Take the stark scene where Pentagon top brass haggle over a city to offer up to the Russians as a sacrificial lamb. When it's suggested Stoke might be blasted to smithereens, a loud cheer rises from the audience."