Positive news

Worcestershire, October 2024

I hardly need report that I've been away on retreat again, this time just for a long weekend during Easter. Four of us from the Warwick group went together, including someone who hadn't been on one of our retreats before. It turned out that he had plenty of experience of meditation and Buddhism and retreats within other Buddhist traditions, and he meditates a great deal more than I do. It was very interesting getting to know him anyway, and he wasn't put off by any of it, which is a bonus.

Another way that I've been stretching myself involves something called a 'kula'. This is a group of people who are both Order Members and my friends, and who commit themselves to meeting occasionally in order to support me in my journey towards ordination. It's by no means compulsory to have a kula, and not necessary at the start of the journey, but I've been steeling myself because I find the idea quite challenging. I've now got as far as asking three people, who thankfully have all said yes, so that's done for now. Now I just have to find a way to get them to meet, which is likely to be a considerable challenge.

Our Warwick group is going from strength to strength, and we have started to find ourselves supported by two regular Order Members, one from Birmingham and the other from Milton Keynes. I've been trying to arrange a team meeting between five of us, and out of 60 different time slots there were only two that were suitable and even then only four out of five of us could make it.

I spent a day with mum taking her to the local hospital to have a lump on her leg cut out. I actually found it quite enjoyable spending time with her, although it probably wasn't her idea of a great day out with her daughter. It was almost impossible to park at the hospital - I left the car in a slightly illegal place in the renal unit with her Blue Badge displayed and got away with it; they also double booked the appointment slot before ours so we got into the clinic room at 4.30pm for an appointment that was scheduled at 2.45pm. Once inside the procedure seemed very straightforward and hopefully her recovery will also run smoothly.

My news blackout continues and I'm getting quite used to not knowing much about what's going on. Have I Got News For You informed me about some female celebrities who went up in a rocket, squealed a lot, talked a lot of rubbish about love, sang a song and imagined they were astronauts - you might as well say that turning a light switch on and off makes you an electrician. And the Pope has died and everyone is watching the film Conclave again. I have to say that even this level of news seems wholly unnecessary.

I am managing various financial admin projects on mum's behalf associated with dad's estate and other investments, and for a change things seem to be moving in the right direction. There's also been admin in respect of UJ and the Homes for Ukraine scheme, also going well, and I tried to give blood but they turned me away because of my imminent periodontal work and the risk of levels of infection in the blood. Swings and roundabouts, people, swings and roundabouts.

A visit from Lola II

Lola II enjoying a nice sensible cup of tea, April 2025

I was privileged to host an overnight visit from Lola II, despite the terrible state of her knees which are each suffering from a different complaint. We usually do a whole lot of walking when we are together, so this demanded a new, car-based approach for our usual pastimes of eating, talking, playing and mucking about.

It's not that she can't walk, but she can't walk far, and steps and stairs are quite a problem. So instead of walking together from the station into town I picked her up in the car. First stop was lunch at a beautiful riverside pub that used to have delicious food, but was sadly disappointing this time. Never mind, we went elsewhere for dessert after a stop at the Re-Useful Centre, my new treasure trove, where we found a perfect walking stick. She doesn't particularly need it for walking but it does help with the stairs, and it may get her a seat at busy times on the tube.

Dessert was cake at Temperance café, where they also keep a few board games for customers. I'd noticed one of the games I'd played with my U3A group that I thought was rather good (Splendor), so we had a go, and it went so well that we thought we might go to a games café next day - there are at least two in Leamington.

Evening entertainment was a National Theatre Live performance of Dr Strangelove, adapted for the stage by Armando Ianucci and starring Steve Coogan. I'm enjoying these NT Live shows, and there are a few more to come over the summer. Lola II managed to walk from Lola Towers all the way to the Royal Spa Centre where it was on, but went the long way round to avoid the steps up to the door.

Next morning I started on the task that Lola II had brought for me - shortening some new trousers (she did give me two large leeks and some carrots in payment). I only made one fairly serious mistake and broke two sewing machine needles - the twin sort for stretch material, which seem to break as soon as you look at them. My enthusiasm for stretch fabric is seriously waning, although this must be the first time I've got the sewing machine out for at least a year, and I came across the fabric we bought in 2016 when I was supposed to be making a dress for Lola II. I try not to think about it. I'll definitely get round to it one day but it just doesn't feel like a priority at the moment.

My ineptitude at sewing was interrupted for each of us to have a massage. I'd booked this when the venue was just a short walk into town, which might have been a problem for Lola II's knees except that they had moved to an out-of-town venue so we could drive. I try to make sure that there are activities in Leamington that can't be found in Lola's home area so that she has a reason to visit. Previously it had been the optician, but she's found one locally (how rude). Thankfully I think I have her hooked on the massage option now. She does the same for me - visiting their local international supermarket is my treat whenever I stay with Lola II and Mr M.

We had lunch at another place (Boston Tea Party) in Leamington which was half the price and twice as good as lunch the previous day at the fancy riverside gastropub. I shall visit BTP again. Then we did go to one of the games cafés where we repeated the game from the day before and tried another (One Key), which involved guessing which very strange picture had been chosen using various other very strange pictures, and it seemed absolutely impossible except somehow I managed to guess Lola II's very strange picture - an achievement that will never be repeated.

Before she left, I went through my box of art materials and persuaded Lola II to take as much GRUHI stuff as I could. So at the end of a lovely couple of days I delivered Hopalong Lola back to the train station with her new walking stick, and listed a few things that she didn't want on the trading platform Olio, and they were collected later that day. When it works, Olio is a marvel.

Lola I enjoying a ridiculously outrageous milkshake

A Whale of a Time

April 2025

Apart from the tourist trip to Warwick and the badminton volunteering, there have been a couple of other notable events recently. Following a pessimistic dental appointment I made a return visit to the periodontist, who agreed with the poor prognosis on two sites and recommended further 'regenerative' surgery of the sort that I had before (three years ago), but this time with extra bone graft. I really don't know what to think about all this - I can afford the fees and it probably helps to keep my teeth in my jaw, but it's a most unpleasant procedure and eventually they are bound to come out, so why prolong the treatment? Something to think about when the next crisis arrives.

I went on a day trip to Oxford to pick up Sister D and on to the University's Harcourt Arboretum, which (as you'd expect) has very fine trees, and we generally caught up with each other and had some serious and helpful conversations - helpful to me at least. I'm still dealing with a couple of mum's financial affairs which keeps Sister D and me busy trying to interpret mystifying correspondence and acquiring evidence of identity and address and signatures of everyone in the family.

Then I went on a solitary retreat that was longer than I've done before (12 days), taking all the food I'd need as well as getting jobs done before I went. UJ was in Ukraine for a few weeks and returned while I was away, so there was some anticipatory cleaning and tidying needed. I had a very thoughtful and fruitful time, meditating, walking, reading, reflecting and studying (in preparation for another, more academic retreat in September), but also doing nothing. The time flew by.

A couple of weeks before I went away on the retreat I had started a self-imposed news blackout - have I mentioned this? The news, especially in the USA, Ukraine/Russia and Gaza/Israel, had become too much for me to bear with equanimity, so I stopped watching, listening to, and reading any news media except for Radio 4 comedy and a couple of podcasts. Obviously on retreat I was completely offline, and spent quite a bit of time pondering whether to go back to the news on my return, and if so, how to achieve the right balance of staying informed without being overwhelmed.

I went for a walk with a friend this week, and was going to ask him to tell me in the briefest terms what I needed to know. He very quickly demonstrated that news has no boundaries, and even the most innocuous event is linked in many ways to other events that I would not wish to hear about. So I have concluded that it isn't possible, and have continued to be completely ignorant of all news, both domestic and foreign, and even stopped subscribing to the news podcasts (although I've continued with Radio 4 comedy). It's a strange, unnerving place to be, a bit like driving while wearing a blindfold. 

Up to now I considered it my duty to stay informed, and not doing so seems somehow irresponsible, or negligent, but several responsible and not-negligent people I've talked to say that they don't keep up to date with the news, although a couple of them said they sometimes feel stupid for not knowing what's going on. So I'm trying to let go of my self-view, and, for the time being at least, to focus on the fact that it's not only possible but preferable to step off the relentless cycle of doom and gloom, pain and ignorance, injustice and grief.

A couple of happier stories to finish with. I went to a delightful concert in a Leamington church which involved an adult choir, a choir of primary school girls, a small group of musicians and two solo vocalists, performing arrangements of two Kinks albums with the support and encouragement of Ray Davies (lead vocalist of the Kinks). I knew about it because one of the people involved in the LETS local trading scheme was singing in the choir, but in the queue for tickets I met one of my music group whose husband was also in the choir, and Nameless Man was also there (I'd told him about it but he wasn't sure he would go), and then I met the man in charge of my U3A board games group who turned out to know the LETS woman because they were neighbours and both trustees of the community centre where the Repair Café happens, and then I bumped into an ex-colleague from my last career but one.

The other lovely thing is that UJ brought me a present from Ukraine of a lamp she has made in the shape of a whale.

What I've been reading

Yellowface

by R. F. Kuang

"When failed writer June Hayward witnesses her rival Athena Liu die in a freak accident, she sees her opportunity… and takes it, stealing Athena’s final manuscript and 'borrowing' her identity."

While I found the book very readable and kept coming back to find out what happened next, I didn't relate to the story or the characters enough to make it enjoyable. There's a lot of interesting stuff about the publishing industry, but I didn't feel any affinity with or understanding of the mindset of minority Chinese ethnic people, and that's a major plot point that simply didn't touch me.

The Virgin in the Garden

by A. S. Byatt

narrated by Sophie Aldred

"In Yorkshire, the Potter family are preparing to celebrate Elizabeth II's arrival on the throne. Its three youngest members, however, are preoccupied with other matters. Stephanie has grown tired of their overbearing father and resolves to marry the local curate. Anxious teenager Marcus gains a new teacher and suffers increasingly disturbing visions. Then there is Frederica."

The book was interesting enough to keep me listening to the end, but ultimately I'd have to say that I didn't like it. Hard to say why, but there was something unlikeable about both the characters and how they were written about as well as the storyline itself. The narration was top class though, distinguishing between the different voices so skilfully that it was always utterly clear who was speaking.

Does Anything Eat Bankers? And 53 Other Indispensable Questions For The Credit Crunched
by Andy Zaltzman

"Does Anything Eat Bankers? is here to cheer us all up, asking (and answering) questions such as: 'Is human life still economically viable?' 'How can you qualify for a bail-out?' and 'What face should a politician pull whilst discussing the Credit Crunch?'"

Andy Zaltzman is by far the best host of Radio 4's News Quiz that has ever lived, and he brings the same voice and humour to his first book, written in 2008 hard on the heels of the banking catastrophe and its fallout. However, there's really only one joke stretched out over about 150 pages, so as much as I like his voice and humour I got a bit weary of it towards the end.

The Living Mountain
by Nan Shepherd

"Shepherd spent a lifetime in search of the 'essential nature' of the Cairngorms, a world that can be breathtakingly beautiful at times and shockingly harsh at others. Her quest led her to write this classic meditation on the magnificence of mountains, and on our imaginative relationship with the wild world around us."

This book was in the house where I stayed for my recent solitary retreat, and I picked it out to read because of my summer 'outdoor' retreat where I'm on the support team. During that retreat we are invited to read some nature-related poetry and prose together, and one of the extracts is from this book, about the writer's experience of the Cairngorm plateau and its corries, lochs, tarns, burns and peaks and the plants, animals and people to be found there. She describes the place using all her senses, and it's wonderful to read.

Entangled Life: How Fungi Make Our Worlds, Change Our Minds and Shape Our Futures
by Merlin Sheldrake

"Fungi throw our concepts of individuality and even intelligence into question. They are metabolic masters, earth makers, and key players in most of life’s processes. They can change our minds, heal our bodies, and even help us remediate environmental disaster."

This is a brilliant book - if you like this sort of thing: an expert who writes on one subject that he knows in enormous depth, and who also knows how to write. A whole chapter about lichens that blew my mind, let alone all the other amazing aspects of fungi that can hardly be imagined. Even the scientists who study them are still mystified about some features, which would be called 'abilities' if these were animals, and in fact fungi are more closely related to animals than to plants. Thoroughly recommended- if you like this sort of thing.

The Mysteries of Udolpho
by Ann Radcliffe

"Orphan Emily St. Aubert finds herself separated from the man she loves and confined within the medieval castle of her aunt's new husband, Montoni. Inside the castle, she must cope with an unwanted suitor, Montoni's threats, and the wild imaginings and terrors that threaten to overwhelm her."

This book, written two hundred years ago, is not only on my list of Classics but is mentioned several times in Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey and was also recommended to me by a friend. I have now read two immense books recommended by this same friend, and I think I shall take no more recommendations from him in future. He declares, and he may be right, that both this and Jane Austen's books are supposed to be funny. The only trace of humour I could appreciate were the heroine's three poems about adventurers who meet gruesome deaths. She is mostly very tiresome, dissolving into tears at least once (and often more than once) in every chapter, and swoons, faints, has to be supported or must sit down at every conceivable opportunity. The Udolpho of the title (which is a castle) isn't even mentioned until a third of the way through, but I'll acknowledge that the mysteries are mysterious and resolved satisfactorily at the end, when all baddies are done away with and the good guys live happily ever after. Avoid.